Greetings all!
I work in retail and my manager got head-hunted. Being an blind optimist, I thought, 'I got this!' and made it known that I would like to apply for the position. Then the doubts began, I have no experience as a leader, will my co-workers like me in this position, what if, what IF!
Holy catalyst Batman! I discovered that I was harboring serious feelings of unworthiness. I realize this is an important discovery that the fires of catalyst are revealing to me. As I blaze forward, does anyone have any thoughts and words on balancing feelings of unworthiness?
Reverse engineer the belief. There is a reason for believing this.
This might help: "The indigo ray is opened only through considerable discipline and practice largely having to do with acceptance of self, not only as the polarized and balanced self but as the Creator, as an entity of infinite worth. This will begin to activate the indigo ray."
So much of my own adult path has unfolded in that way, ascension scout. It's been a formula of:
- Life presents a challenge or new opportunity
- I don't feel feel qualified/prepared/capable of it
- Fear-nervousness-doubt experienced
- Do it anyway
And on the other side of the challenge, I've discovered two basic things:
1. The fear and anxiety were worse than the actual experience
2. These challenges brought out latent abilities and strengths of mine.
It is only by taking the leap and moving *through* into and through the unknown that I've discovered what I'm capable of, despite the doubt and struggle. The opportunities
were, themselves, the training, so to speak; they were that which developed the self.
Let the experience be the teacher. You don't arrive to the teacher having mastered the lesson, you arrive eager to learn, to learn about *how* to be a leader and fulfill the needs of the position.
And a quote that one Tobey sent to me once during a moment of self-doubt and self-judgment:
Quote:94.9 ...
any seeker discovering in itself this complex of mental and mental/emotional distortions shall ponder the possible non-efficacy of judgment.
Trust yourself! Open yourself to the possibility that, no matter what the doubt whispers into your ear, you can do this.
GLB
(06-10-2014, 02:26 PM)βαθμιαίος Wrote: [ -> ]This might help: "The indigo ray is opened only through considerable discipline and practice largely having to do with acceptance of self, not only as the polarized and balanced self but as the Creator, as an entity of infinite worth. This will begin to activate the indigo ray."
Just to be clear for the OP, there's also orange/yellow ray worthiness/belief in one's potential and self confidence. You see this displayed by many non spiritual non religious confident people who do not see themselves as the creator.
While you investigate your fears and doubts, try brainstorming what an unconditional advocate of yourself for the position would say. Maybe a non-lying lawyer type might say on your behalf. This should help you create a list of reasons why you will kickass at the job. Then try working upon those general skills in other settings until you've truly convinced yourself that you are gonna kickass at the position.
(06-10-2014, 01:04 PM)ascension scout Wrote: [ -> ]Holy catalyst Batman! I discovered that I was harboring serious feelings of unworthiness.
hmm. thanks for bringing this discussion up.
I don't think I've had to tackle the catalyst of unworthiness before. I've dealt with a lot of guilt/shame type issues before, and perhaps its a permutation of that at some level - the feeling of being unprepared or not skilled enough.
It's sort of made me appreciate something though. That just like I can't really identify with the 'unworthiness state' because it hasn't been a big factor in my life thus far (a non catalyst for me), there are most likely people (and I've met them) that have not had to go through the catalyst of shame/guilt in their life (they were well balanced in that area/were not subjected to that influence when younger).
makes you really appreciate that people are experiencing different interpretative realities, and that the headspace that we are in is so so unique at any particular time.
(06-10-2014, 03:27 PM)xise Wrote: [ -> ]Just to be clear for the OP, there's also orange/yellow ray worthiness/belief in one's potential and self confidence. You see this displayed by many non spiritual non religious confident people who do not see themselves as the creator.
I wonder if that's still indigo ray. Ra said that it's possible to go straight from orange/yellow to indigo; maybe one manifestation of that is a strong belief in one's worthiness.
Look in a mirror and say "I accept myself"
Thank you all so much for your thoughtful words! It's so pleasing to have a community of folks ready to discuss things in a Law of One context. This one really resonated with me:
And on the other side of the challenge, I've discovered two basic things:
1. The fear and anxiety were worse than the actual experience
2. These challenges brought out latent abilities and strengths of mine.
I still have yet to find out if I got the job. Either way I've learned some new ways of dealing with anxiety. I keep an large log of my favorite Q'uo/Hatonn quotes, here is a couple I would like to share:
Friend, do not look to your fear for your test but look behind the fear, for there is a mistaken idea which is causing this fear. This is the test.
There is tremendous health of mind, body and spirit in rejecting fear in all its forms.
The hardest audience that you will ever have is yourself—the most severe critic, the sternest judge. Let those energies fall away from you as they will and forgive all. As
you do so, you have begun a whole new life. And you may do that each and every day. You shall never run out of beginnings. You have infinity to rehearse.
This instrument has a phrase in her mind which is “to get over the self.” “Get over yourself,” she will say to herself. And it is well to get over oneself.
Cheers all!