Who here has also in the past felt feelings of regret for incarnating? That life was too hard, that the catalyst was too sharp? Like you had made a mistake in wandering, and forgetting who you are.
Thankfully I'm over that phase now. At least in this moment I feel a satisfaction for being here. Even work I can appreciate. I have a lot going for me in life. And coming here is a privilege. So many souls are eagerly desiring the life I have. They are probably jealous of me, when I was jealous of them for sticking behind.
Honestly though I'm a little confused at how I should feel. All I've said is true. I am slightly happy, but it's very subtle. Life makes it hard sometimes to be happy.
But I feel love from my social memory complex. That warms my heart. Earlier today my whole body felt hot from their light and love.
Confusion is the most difficult thing to deal with in 3rd Density, imo.
This is a consequence of the thick veil we have between the conscious mind (small self) and the unconscious mind (large, complete self).
Confusion leads to not knowing what we want, not knowing why we want certain things, doing things out of habit rather than fuelled by intense, new-found desire, and continuing in looped patterns of behaviour until we finally realise that we were the ones that initiated (and continued to perpetuate) such experiences. Confusion is rife.
How do we cut through such things? Clarity comes from recognising that certain 'patterns' are more constructive and vitalising that others. That is not a judgement; but rather a considered assessment of what belief patterns entail, and the consequences of such. We have the absolute free-will to pick and choose belief patterns ('understandings') although we might not realise the extent to which this is possible ... due to certain self-constricting belief patterns already in place.
Which are the belief patterns that are more 'clear'? We can find our own models for such things. At first, we can emulate (or, 'fake it till you make it') those who represent a different state of consciousness that we wish to align to. For eg, when I first got into classical music, Bach was my guiding star; he represented everything that music should be to me. So I studied it, deconstructed it, and played it. I listened to it, I imbibed it. Become the thing you most want to be, and then you can add your own take/insight to the tradition.
The same goes for my relationship to the Ra Material. It represents a 6d understanding of 3d matters, and so it a clear and crystallised vision of the challenges and the processes for the physical environment in which we find ourselves. It is worth studying and imbibing for years. And then you can add your own take to it.
So no, no regrets as such for choosing an incarnation. But the confusion had been with me for the better part of 3 decades of existence before the piercing beam of clarity struck my skull.
Once there is clarity, life is a joy to experience.
I hope to continue reincarnating, at the very least the sex is worth it.
I wouldn't mind incarnating again. I would just program my life differently so that I don't get so bored, and always looking for a "way out". The sex sure is fun, even if it's by myself. Anthros really get me going. It's insane.
The piercing beam of clarity has never pierced my skull yet. But I have hope for a better tomorrow. In the words of one of my favorite songs, "the best is yet to come".
My mom is putting me to work today. She likes to command me. She gets flustered when I don't do the work. I'll be taking on a 2nd job where an agency will be paying me to work for her. So she'll command me even more. She says she is too damn sick to do the work herself. I am tired from helping so far.
I might come across as a tad crass here however if your Mother is causing you these issues is it not time to address her head on?
We can work with mental catalyst all we like, but ultimately if there are certain people continually dragging one down than we should try to move away from them.
Obviously it isn't always easy, and I do not know your situation, but it might help if you gain independence and live your life for yourself rather than for others. To be of service to others you must first learn to serve yourself after all.
Food here is awesome. You can't get a nice greasy cheeseburger on Arcturus or Orion like you can here (I'm kidding, kind of..)
(07-04-2014, 02:34 PM)Horuseus Wrote: [ -> ]I might come across as a tad crass here however if your Mother is causing you these issues is it not time to address her head on?
We can work with mental catalyst all we like, but ultimately if there are certain people continually dragging one down than we should try to move away from them.
Obviously it isn't always easy, and I do not know your situation, but it might help if you gain independence and live your life for yourself rather than for others. To be of service to others you must first learn to serve yourself after all.
Food here is awesome. You can't get a nice greasy cheeseburger on Arcturus or Orion like you can here (I'm kidding, kind of..)
I think I just need to learn to accept the catalyst. It teaches me lessons of love when it's hard. I don't feel like a slave though. I just get in the mood to help her. We moved a couch from one room to another after I took down a wall. Some major projects. But she does her share of work too. She laid down all the tile in our living room and her bedroom, gluing each piece down.
She does her share of work, but then suffers from pain afterwards.
I do love her, but with her 7 ferrets, she wouldn't be able to find another home. It's hard sometimes, but she makes dinner, and talks about how she serves other people and enjoys that. She wants to make ferret clocks and bought a scroll saw to help her cut out the pieces.
I felt like I came into this world to serve, but sometimes it's hard. I need to rest often because I'm out of shape.
I no longer feel regret. I resonate more with the fool archetype. I was a fool to come here, because sometimes I am undoing my polarity. I've lost a bit of polarity coming here. Because I don't put other people first.