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When I die, I want God to say "Well done good and faithful servant" like it is in the bible.

I don't want him to say "I will spit you out of my mouth" like it also is in the bible.

I felt I have been lukewarm in my beliefs. Not really polarizing either way.

I sit here uncertain of what lies beyond. I want God to be pleased with me.

Nothing in my life indicates that God is pleased with me.

When I was a very young kid, my mom says that a woman's voice that wasn't there told me I'm a good boy. It may have been a guide. Or an angel.

I try to do what is right, but I feel I am letting everyone down. Well, it's not that bad. I don't believe in hell. I just hope that doesn't condemn me to there. I've accepted Jesus in the past. I've said "Jesus is LORD" when I got baptized.

When I walk those steps of light I don't want to stumble and fall because of my lack of conviction. I don't think I'm living for the next life. Or maybe I am living so much for the afterlife that I am ignoring the value of this life. What to do?
Don't worry about the afterlife. You don't have memory of the afterlife for a reason. Concern yourself with this life.

The only one who judges you after death is yourself. God is you, you are god. God, as in intelligent infinity, is always pleased, regardless of what you do, or do not do. The only one you have to please is yourself. Are you living up to your own expectations of yourself? That is the real question.

At death you will review your life, and you will observe your own behavior and you will honestly and objectively appraise whether you could have helped people more effectively or expressed love more eloquently in a given circumstance. Then you will make plans for your future life, and manifest more opportunities for sharing love in the face of adversity.

Do what makes you happy. As Ra says, polarity develops due to analysis of desire. When you desire love above all else, you can't help but share that love with others.

If you can do what makes you happy, the creator is well pleased. Your feeling of happiness is indicative or your alignment with its stream of thought.

Unbound

(08-18-2014, 01:29 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]When I die, I want God to say "Well done good and faithful servant" like it is in the bible.

I don't want him to say "I will spit you out of my mouth" like it also is in the bible.

I felt I have been lukewarm in my beliefs. Not really polarizing either way.

I sit here uncertain of what lies beyond. I want God to be pleased with me.

Nothing in my life indicates that God is pleased with me.

When I was a very young kid, my mom says that a woman's voice that wasn't there told me I'm a good boy. It may have been a guide. Or an angel.

I try to do what is right, but I feel I am letting everyone down. Well, it's not that bad. I don't believe in hell. I just hope that doesn't condemn me to there. I've accepted Jesus in the past. I've said "Jesus is LORD" when I got baptized.

When I walk those steps of light I don't want to stumble and fall because of my lack of conviction. I don't think I'm living for the next life. Or maybe I am living so much for the afterlife that I am ignoring the value of this life. What to do?

Slow down, buddy. Stop, breathe, sit for a moment. What is at stake here?

michael430

[deleted]
Oh boy, Gemini, you're going to hell , no doubt about it.
Double post ! I stand by what i say !
Since I don't believe in a biblical eternal hell, it's my spiritual progress that's at stake. I felt like I would be held back if I don't do well in this life. Having to wander the Earth as a ghost would be another thing at stake if I failed to meet my obligations.

(08-18-2014, 04:13 PM)Unbound Wrote: [ -> ]
(08-18-2014, 01:29 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]When I die, I want God to say "Well done good and faithful servant" like it is in the bible.

I don't want him to say "I will spit you out of my mouth" like it also is in the bible.

I felt I have been lukewarm in my beliefs. Not really polarizing either way.

I sit here uncertain of what lies beyond. I want God to be pleased with me.

Nothing in my life indicates that God is pleased with me.

When I was a very young kid, my mom says that a woman's voice that wasn't there told me I'm a good boy. It may have been a guide. Or an angel.

I try to do what is right, but I feel I am letting everyone down. Well, it's not that bad. I don't believe in hell. I just hope that doesn't condemn me to there. I've accepted Jesus in the past. I've said "Jesus is LORD" when I got baptized.

When I walk those steps of light I don't want to stumble and fall because of my lack of conviction. I don't think I'm living for the next life. Or maybe I am living so much for the afterlife that I am ignoring the value of this life. What to do?

Slow down, buddy. Stop, breathe, sit for a moment. What is at stake here?

(08-18-2014, 04:24 PM)michael430 Wrote: [ -> ]Here is a thought, Gem. Replace the word "God" each time in your first post with the term "my Higher Self," which is in my opinion exactly what the Christian understanding of "God the Father" is.

You know (and have stated) that You are your higher self.

Think about that.

I think you may be having difficulty integrating your beliefs and views of Christianity with your beliefs and understandings of the Law of One. I wonder if rereading some of Carla's personal writings may help you out, as she is the expert on a Christian/Ra worldview.

Where do I find Carla's personal writings? I like what you say about the higher self, and replacing God with it.
Hello Smile

(08-18-2014, 01:29 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]When I die, I want God to say "Well done good and faithful servant" like it is in the bible.

You do not exist to please anyone, nor to deserve anything. You exist here solely for One Purpose - to Experience.

Everything You're experiencing is Valuable - it Shapes constantly your Whole Self.

To explain it as clearly as I can (my current understanding that is): Your Whole-Self/Soul is extremely dynamic and highly creating Being, whom can be described as an Incipient God. I would write "Creator" but He/She/It-Self is absolutely beyond Our faintest grasp - label "God" is well pondered by Our Species and as I noticed also by You, Dear Gemini Wolf. Do not "call for God" as You Are One.

I know You do not like statements like this but that's THE most accurate description of Who You really are, that can be made with words/labels.

(08-18-2014, 01:29 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]When I walk those steps of light I don't want to stumble and fall because of my lack of conviction. I don't think I'm living for the next life. Or maybe I am living so much for the afterlife that I am ignoring the value of this life. What to do?

I would advice - above all - to differentiate.

Above words/labels are of course only symbols of what I call "my understanding". I'll "explain" it using other labels/symbols below Wink

There are not only "two states" - "You here" and "You not here" (as dead/not existing in this reality). Your Consciousness may be compared to very wide and deep stairs. There are "divisions" of your Whole Self as well vertical, as horizontal.

Vertical - strong/deep divisions, each available to You as You are changing the "realities of existence". Currently We do not have any option besides this, physical reality - this will change when your Consciousness cease to be invested in this realm of existence.
I'm unable to explain further as I do not understand "divisions" of (literally) non-material planes/fields/areas/layers/frequencies of Being-ness/Existence.

Horizontal - tenuous/subtle/gentle "divisions" of your current Consciousness - from one that "predominates" to deep dreaming state of Consciousness (sometimes reachable in deep meditations).
"Gradation" in this case depends only on Observer's discernment.
You can distinguish only two "grades":
- You awaken
- You sleeping
You can go deeper in such graduation and try to examine "You awaken" to find out if You are "all-straight"/"equally-even" in being awaken/Conscious. With such task in mind You may find out that there are many Phases of Consciousness along your "awaken Self".

Usually, when You "lost concentration" (as We call it in this reality), You promptly call your Self back to "predominate focus of Consciousness". You have no regards for "lost concentration" state and You may even perceive it as one of your "flaws" (in Our narrow, physical categories of understanding it may be seen as such). Yet, when You try to examine this state of consciousness, You may discover that in fact your Consciousness is in some minute/minikin way "detached" from physical reality. If You learn (through exercise/attempts) to invoke this state and sustain it, You may be able to start to perceive through it physical reality and all events in it. This may bring You much wider and more objective perspective of events in your current existence - and in consequence inevitably change/deepen your Understanding of Self and "Here and Now".

It is very important to observe Consciousness, to be aware of it state. Compare for example differences between your Consciousness when You are "goal-oriented" in physical reality (predominate state of Consciousness) and when You are simply relaxed. It may be as You're listening to your favourite music, it may be when You daydream - You are in full aware of physical reality, yet your Grasp of it is different. As before, the key is to recognize such (even slightly) different state of Consciousness, learn your Self to invoke, sustain and operate within - by "operate" I mean above all to Perceive Consciously. Don't "shake it off" and discard as "flaw". Embrace it and pay in it full attention to your-Self and relations between Self and Environment/Events.

Your Consciousness is in constant movement, It never stops. Work with it, with Its movement.
I would like to describe once again important steps in "Working with Consciousness": Learn your Self to recognize and to differentiate this movement, observe as Consciousness is changing while in motion. When different (than predominate) state is recognized and acknowledged, learn you Self to invoke it/to bring it about at your wish/act of Will. Than learn your Self to sustain/facilitate this recognized state of Consciousness. Next step will come almost in automatic fashion - to perceive consciously everything that You are able to perceive (Self, Other-Selves, Events, Environment and all relations between them).


I do understand why You've created this thread. You are hurt and You are lost. In some degree We All are.
What i wrote above is not something that "makes You better after reading", but I attempted to present/propose to You what can You do. Therefore I can only point the direction, but the Work is all yours. I can support You in this work best I can, but neither I nor anyone else can do it "for You".

I apologize for this remark, but I wanted to underline this truism. You can call me "Captain Obvious" BigSmile


Best I have in me for You, Dear Gemini Wolf
I can't fully get past the idea that God is judgmental, and some will face his wrath.

I still want to love God.

I'm glad my only purpose for existing is to experience.

I am breathing deeply and sitting still for a few moments.
(08-18-2014, 06:24 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]I can't fully get past the idea that God is judgmental, and some will face his wrath.

I think when We are imagining "God", to some degree/extent, We're equipping Him/She/It with Our own characteristics/needs/expectations/desires.
That being said, I think that "being Judgmental" may in fact belong to your Self - as an attribute or/and need/desire.
Because the only One who will Judge You, in the end, will be your Self.

(08-18-2014, 06:24 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]I still want to love God.

There's no reason why You would not to.
All I wrote about God/Creator - including bringing words/labels - words/labels Wink - were to underline Our limited understanding. Not to diminish in any way God/Creator. Therefore to Love Creator/God as You perceive Him/She/It - this "three dimensional image of God/Creator - is best We can "produce" in Our current Understanding. It is limited - Yes - but it doesn't mean that Our Feelings/Thoughts/Images are not authentical. They surely are. They are Our best attempts to Comprehend Creator Him/Her/It-Self.

(08-18-2014, 06:24 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]I'm glad my only purpose for existing is to experience.

To experience is what permit your Whole-Self/soul to Grow/Develop/Expand. This is the point/reason of all existences in all realities/planes of existences.
But it is not a passive exposure for appearing stimuli. It is constant reacting with the stimuli and responding to it in various ways. In Our dimension/reality it may be translated as to understand both stimuli and Our reactions/attitudes for/toward it. To "find Self" within it.

Since as I can see You have quite strong Catholic connotations, I would like to emphasize that when I'm using label Soul or Whole-Self (were both are my dearest attempts to label my current perception/understanding), it has nothing to do with how catholic ideology presents those terms.
Soul is not something You "have" - You Are Soul. One of Its Manifestations, Identity-in-incarnation/Identity-in-other-systems-of-Being-ness (than "incarnational").
I've wrote it to You before, I know, but in my opinion its should be brought frequently to Our attention. Our bodies/physical vehicles are in some sense symbols of Our Soul translated into "frames"/circumstances/limitations of physical plane of existence/experience.

Because best examples may be found in Creation It-Self, I would like to use one in "one-step-bigger-scale" than Our everyday lives.
Please imagine your Whole-Self/Soul as an Earth. All your incarnations/existences beyond incarnational systems are represented as all that Earth contains - all creatures (including human beings), plants, immovable matter, elementals. Each of those are Manifestations of your Whole-Self/Soul, which All are simultaneous - same as all that Earth contains exists simultaneously (I know, it's hard to imagine and it's contradictory to Our understanding of "time" - nevertheless this is best description We will get with Our labels/words).
Now You in All this are one of Human Beings inhabiting Earth. Of course this is very imperfect comparison, as each Manifestations of Whole-Self/Soul are immanent Parts of It.

As I understand it, when You "becoming" Whole-Self/Soul in Its Fullness, You will not "vanish" but simply You will recall what You really Are. This is how currently I can best describe "being One with All that is" - each "Manifestations" of Our Whole-Selves/Souls, which are non the less but Manifestations of Creator Him/Her/It-Self - will "recall" from Its perspective that "It" is a Whole-Self/Soul. "Everyone will recall Everyone" I might write Wink (but as "One-Whole" of course).
It is very hard to express in words/labels. It really requires "work within mind" to try to "See/Picture It".

To sum up, You are constantly Growing/Expanding thanks to your interactions with Experience that You have in this and other realities.
I think it may be clothe in words/labels in this way: Main activity of your* Whole-Self/Soul is to Experience and through that to Grow/Expand/become Creator.

* "your" as to distinguish "yours from mine" - it's only a words/labels "play" - as I wrote before You ARE Whole-Self/Soul.


Take Good Care Dear Gemini Wolf
(08-18-2014, 06:24 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]I can't fully get past the idea that God is judgmental, and some will face his wrath.

Why?
(08-18-2014, 07:58 PM)xise Wrote: [ -> ]
(08-18-2014, 06:24 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]I can't fully get past the idea that God is judgmental, and some will face his wrath.

Why?

I've seen NDE videos where the people experience hell. I know it's a subjective hell, and there's no telling how long they'd experience it if they hadn't been brought back. Just search "NDE hell" on YouTube for many videos like that. Many of them say that Jesus is the only one that saved them from it. I've also heard it said that those in hell will be the ones who didn't believe it existed, and that the fires of hell are burning with God's anger.

I don't believe an eternal hell exists. Only a subjective one we create ourselves. I don't even know if our soul feels pain.

Perhaps I'm overly sensitive. I am easily swayed by what I see. I am somewhat naive.

Why indeed.

(08-18-2014, 06:24 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]I can't fully get past the idea that God is judgmental, and some will face his wrath.

You speak as if it´s your experience and will continue to be your individual experience even after you return to the whole.

During my NLE I lost the sense of personal experience and it became more of a sense of universal experience, at that stage there really is no "your experience" and "my experience" it´s all "our experience" that we have for a moment of exploration within this hardcore limitation

So if it´s all our experience; who is there really to judge?
(08-18-2014, 08:07 PM)Raz Wrote: [ -> ]
(08-18-2014, 06:24 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]I can't fully get past the idea that God is judgmental, and some will face his wrath.

You speak as if it´s your experience and will continue to be your individual experience even after you return to the whole.

During my NLE I lost the sense of personal experience and it became more of a sense of universal experience, at that stage there really is no "your experience" and "my experience" it´s all "our experience" that we have for a moment of exploration within this hardcore limitation

So if it´s all our experience; who is there really to judge?

I've never thought of that. I never had a NDE or NLE. Only once felt unconditional love, which is probably nothing compared to the love in the great beyond. Certainly there is no judgment then. It's so easy to get scared when everything is mystery.

Unbound

Well, you're not done yet, but:

"Well done, good and faithful servant."

I am God, so consider it done.
Thanks unbound.
(08-18-2014, 08:03 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]Perhaps I'm overly sensitive. I am easily swayed by what I see. I am somewhat naive.

Why?
(08-18-2014, 05:17 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]Where do I find Carla's personal writings? I like what you say about the higher self, and replacing God with it.

Here's a starting place: http://www.llresearch.org/carla_niche.aspx
I have to say I know what you mean.

But I envisage more of a collection of guides and such from the other end of the veil to be who judges me. I can imagine them saying if it went wrong 'so what went wrong?'

I have to have faith that what I am doing isn't bad in some way. If I am not obviously doing something bad.
all experience is valid
all experience is safe

all experience is not pleasant
but no catalyst is ever a waste

I don't think we go through a judgment so much as a clearing of blockages and dissolving of lower frequency energy patterns to harmonize and synchronize within our new frequency of orientation.

at one point during my NLE I was interacting with two beings that had taken the form and presence of two friends, but I overheard an interaction just outside of our field where a woman's voice said "is he ready?" and a male voice replied "no, his physical body would have disintegrated".

michael430

[deleted]

Unbound

After searching for days I finally found this story I was trying to share with you:

http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html

The Egg
By: Andy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_egg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orphic_egg
The story was ok. I didn't like that he was sent immediately into his next life, and there was no life review, and that God picked his next life.
But the part about becoming a god was cool.
(08-22-2014, 01:29 PM)Unbound Wrote: [ -> ]After searching for days I finally found this story I was trying to share with you:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orphic_egg

Awesome story and a wonderful pointer to reality. Within this experience I totally agree with the message of unity, but of course, due to the phase of diversity not every part of me will see it self within this story, but one moment, not far from this one, our unity will be realized and integrated.
Indeed it was a good story, though I don't know how much of it is true.

Unbound

How much truth can we obtain from the unknown?

If we are being honest, the vast majority of the philosophy we indulge in is pure speculation.
Good point unbound.
I wonder sometimes about NDE's.
That what if they're a trick. That they're only temporary and after you die, you go to some bad place after all that good stuff is out of the way.

Unbound

(08-23-2014, 11:02 AM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: [ -> ]Good point unbound.
I wonder sometimes about NDE's.
That what if they're a trick. That they're only temporary and after you die, you go to some bad place after all that good stuff is out of the way.

Well that doesn't really make sense though. Why would you go through the good experiences just as an illusion to end up in a "real" bad place? Not really any logic behind that.
You can see how confused I get in my thinking.

Unbound

Aha I see how confused we all get in our thinking.
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