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A strange path - Rax0r - 07-25-2016

Hi fellow wanderers. I joined this forum after reading some of the Law of One. I'm brand new to this and would like to share my journey thus far.

I was Born and raised a christian. I was brought up doing what I was told and I gave no notice to myself or my feelings.
My story is strange. I went to primary school, had difficulty keeping up with people and was considered poor at learning. But I was still happy with my friends.
I went to Secondary school, but then my friends then turned against me, made fun of me. I became afraid of talking to them in case they made fun of me, and soon after I lost contact with all friends. Became a loner, and very afraid of reaching out to contact anyone, In fear of being hurt again. So began my journey with no faith in myself.
I pursed a new path in a levels, new school, new start. Still the same thing occurred, lost friends and became a loner. Met a girl that i liked went out on 1 date, next day everyone made fun, out of fear I left the girl. I got good enough grades in a levels. I did not give much thought to going to uni, I was just following what everyone else was doing, afraid of missing out and letting parents down.
So I went to university, in my quest for friends I placed my studies on the back seat. I knew I was putting studies off and a impressing guilt was placed on me. However the friends always convinced me to go out, despite being behind in my studies i was afraid to say no. As it was finally what i wanted, a group of friends. Needless to say I failed the first year.

I was offered a second chance, however I became different, my fear dragged me right down, I was afraid of talking to anyone. Walking outside, I thought people were silently judging me. I Became really paranoid, insecure, I was doubting myself and everything I did. I felt pain each day I woke up, I looked for any form of escapism in my room. It was short lived, always ending in the same result.. A reality that I couldn't face. I failed the second attempt at uni. Left early after a couple counseling sessions, and had suicidal thoughts constantly.
I was always wondering why am I here? on this planet.... I felt like I didn't belong here? I was different?

Uni offered me a third try on a different subject, I was advised by my parents to go and just try, just give it one more chance. I still completely failed, and the same happened again. I became a loner, no friends, everything i tried failed. My mind felt numb, lack of anything and everything. The only thing I could do was sleep. Anything else was too pain full. Full blown depression, I felt suicide was the only option. That night on the brink of doom, with severe depression with constant suicidal thoughts in my head, i had a strange dream. A nuclear explosion fell down in front of me, I felt my whole body disintegrate and vaporize, it was a strange sensation, I can still recall the feeling today. I Woke up in hot sweats and was thinking, how have I been dragged down to this? I had pursued a life ultimately just trying to do what everyone said to me. So I asked myself a question... If I could do one thing in the world what would it be...... My first thought was to help the world. It seemed like the only thing worth doing. Regardless as what has happened to me, I had finally found my calling. A goal! and a worthy one!

I went home and tried to put the past behind me. Tried to start thinking about what careers I could do to help people, each seemed like a dead end as it would not help everyone, only a select few. My parents were applying pressure on me, they wanted me to go out and work. So I did in fear of letting them down again and getting kicked out. I was on jobseekers, and voluntarily worked at a charity shop. The journey was long and there was no pay but I enjoyed being of service. But there was that thought in the back of my mind, I wanted to help everyone. The charity shop considered offering me a job, I declined. I knew i wouldn't stay long at the charity shop, with them placing so much faith in me, I did not want the guilt that accompanied leaving just when they employed me. The thoughts of having any new friends and them feeling betrayed was a great risk to me aswell. I did not want to do harm to anyone.

I began to focus even harder on myself, why was I failing, why? Then it reached me I was looking everywhere for the answers but in myself. For how can somebody really help someone else, if they can't help themselves. I went to get an agency job straight away to help my financial situation..
I wanted to help myself, but my motivation was terrible.So I did something I had never done before, I searched for motivation. At first it was just some videos on youtube: You got to keep trying, don't give up etc. But not alot of material on how to actually change yourself. So I searched for the best in self help I could find, I found bob proctors you were born rich program. With all the greatest teachings you can have to improve yourself. I found alot of what the program taught to be extremely valuable, but most of the material was focused on one thing only. Belief! The key to any successful person in history was the belief in one self to get whatever he/she desired. I knew that the one thing that needed to be programmed in any one persons subconscious mind was belief and they could have whatever they desired.

So I worked hard at my job. During which I was inspired by deep meaningful messages, through motivational videos. Inspirational speeches, that tried to deliver a message so pure that it would not be forgotten. Fictional characters, like Juan Luc picard and Q from star trek, and non fiction like JFK, Martin Luther king Jr and the stories of Les brown. After a year of working, I had enough money to last for a few months and left my job.

I started working with that belief. I thought of the most beneficial thing to me would not be the endless study of subjects, but something that I could do to change myself....my memory, it was the one thing holding me back. For years I had been suppressing bad memories, trying to forget the past. It took alot of effort to delve into areas that caused me so much pain. After which I recalled how to use my visual memory. I then started trying to develop a photographic memory, it sounds crazy, no one has ever developed such a thing before. People have been born with it sure, people have developed a way of using there imagination to retrieve information they see in the world. But actually developing a photographic memory? It hasn't been done before. It didn't stop me. And it was beginning to work, it took so much effort but the belief kept me going...

But then as i realised it was possible to get this achievement, I knew that literally anything in the universe might be possible. I could either go down two paths: continue down a path of certainty, or a leap of faith. Its something they don't teach at school, or anywhere I could find for that matter. So when everything you have been brought up to believe could be false, and different. What do you do? You look for every event that was "unexplained". Which was mysterious, which had no meaning, not accepted by mainstream science. I would start asking myself impossible questions, What were Jesus's actual motives? What were every prophets motives? Try and gain some understanding... So I looked at unique individuals/events that occured. And tried to look for a pattern, I did. I found out about remote viewing, telepathy, and other things which only certain people could. I have not learnt these yet, but looking at telepathics, it looked like they were all were prophets. They could see into the unknown, I then found out about Edgar Cayce, and his prophesis, that something major would happen. That strange occurances would happen. I searched deeper, further down the rabbit hole. Looked into reincarnation, came across David Wilcock. His material was all orientated around the Law of One. And so I found the website.
I started reading the material, first I thought it was a story. But then something started to change it kept mentioning, the one, everyone was the one? Including me?

I had a eureka moment whilst reading, that everything in my life was purposefully used to lead me up to this moment in time. While reading this book, i was looking for some new songs, I wasn't even looking they just happened to appear in my recommended videos. Its almost like as I had this moment of joy everything started to make sense, there were "hidden" messages that the universe was trying to communicate to me. The whole of CHVRCHES songs were strange, too much of a coincidence that I happened to come across these at the same time as reading the Law of One, Disclosure - Magnets ft. Lorde. "embrace the point of no return". Katy Perry - Rise just released. Strange happenings, all around me. Felt like I was being affected by 4th density beings, being pulled either side, the thoughts I had were ranging extreme positive to negative. Every thought I had I was believing in. "Do I go out and preach the Law of One?" Is that the journey for me to take? I had a terrible thought: "the only way to stop this infinite cycle was to stop the creator? What if I am the creator? Do I have to kill myself?". For some reason I stopped eating, I was getting effected so much by the environment. I was overwhelmed with it all, I felt the only way to get out of it was to continue reading the Law of One...

Then I read the message
" I am Ra. The indigo ray is the ray of, shall we say, awareness of the Creator as self; thus one whose indigo-ray vibrations have been activated can offer the energy transfer of Creator to Creator. This is the beginning of the sacramental nature of what you call your bisexual reproductive act. It is unique in bearing the allness, the wholeness, the unity in its offering to other-self."

I realised what was happening. I became more aware of my thoughts. I realised that is where i was, and the extreme thoughts of both polarities seemed to fade away. I looked through the message of the Law of One, without even finishing it.

Truly STS/STO is in itself both positive vs negative. But i feel like I am both together. Wanting to do both. I felt Ra had risked this information for a reason, what he believed to be true, may not actually be... Is the true lesson here is the risk of information, as soon as you give people laws to follow it changes them, You see it everywhere, religion, science, politics. With what they believe is true. In reality no one is true, only the creator knows.... As soon as you risk to disclose information from your density, you encourage the infinite cycle to continue. Surely the best thing to do was everyone to stop being manipulated by positive and negative? To come together, put their conceived notion of what is positive and negative down and form in unity? I don't know. These were the thoughts which went through my mind. Believing and experiencing each one I came across....

I thought: The thing about the infinite intelligence is, the person who says there is no religion is just as right as the person who says there is. It is all in the creators mind. If everyone had access to infinite intelligence, could see everything, then maybe it might change things for the better? Give everyone the freedom to access the infinite information without having to progress through a chain of densities, thus uniting everyone as one once again. Contempt in the knowledge that there is no right or wrong. There only is.

Perhaps disclosing this information will make it worse? Maybe the more information you disclose the harder it becomes for everyone. Maybe it will cause people who think they know vs people who think they don't know. Another positive vs negative. Why does everyone have to choose a side? Can we not all be voices of reason? Help each other realise in unity we can't have positive without a negative. Is it better that each individual soul to go through Joy just so another can go through pain? Form together on something? Anything!? Perhaps thats the problem? Is the constant need for souls to do this? Perhaps we should all just choose to serve neither side? Would you take away everyones free will to stop everyones suffering? Would you sacrifice your own free will to help everyone elses? Would you risk being damned to the bottom of creation just to help everyone?
Perhaps that is the decision we will have to make? or one creator? Who will be the first? Will it be you?

I then realised another lesson, that I was beginning to place all my faith in me, and no one else. So I did something I had never done, I let go of all the fears I had in trusting others, and took another leap of faith. I felt like I needed to do it. I was rewarded with abundance, an amazing feeling. For you can choose to either place faith in yourself or in others. I thanked Ra for the Law of One. I had learnt many lessons. I realised you can equally place faith in yourself and others, it is the only path for me to pursue. You can control whether your environment affects you, or whether you affect the environment. Or both. My life was full of lessons, I was searching for them and beginning to find peace. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgRBkjgXHro, Then this song came on the radio I was listening to, another coincidence?

It felt like a good plot line for a movie... But this was reality/experience, not something I had read... It was teaching me something...Perhaps it will teach all of us something. It feels as if all the densities have been compressed in my life, and it had only just begun.
I felt like i was above all positive and negative influence in my life. I decided when to provide influence to myself or others, I also decided to let universe continue talking to me, and I will alter my vibrations with purpose.
I knew the risk of being trapped in either polarity, or angering the creator, but the cause to help the world/now the universe is greater then the self gain/pain.

I continued reading the Law of One. It was tough but as i progressed, the number of questions I had grew, but i grew with it. I was embracing everything I felt and thought. I looked back at the road I had taken and thought I would not alter it at all, it was perfectly constructed. If I stopped now, it would be a disservice to everything that had placed faith me. I would not let myself or others down.

I thought: It seems each density I experienced has some form of prejudice, from what they believe is right and wrong. It continues.... You can't go against peoples free will? Yes you can? You can't give them information? Yes you can? Again always it seems there is always two sides to every story, but I still have no side, I was contemplating where do I get off this ride? But I still continued...

I was beginning to see through the illusions, the way my parents are poles apart but still together. The way everyone is against each other but trying to work in unison none the less... It was strange, how the poles apart were being held by something?

Another thought: Was everything here created just so a soul could see exactly what they were doing to themselves? That they created this perfect place for us to collectively realise that we were being manipulated by what we each thought was right and wrong? Working with whatever information we find to reinforce that belief? So do we stop doing this? How can we all change? Do we all simply let go of our beliefs? I don't know.

I then began to realise that despite whatever personal beliefs we had, balance had always tried to be maintained. Despite the ranging opinions, everyone is still coexisting. Is this the answer? Does every entity need to strive and achieve balance and put differences aside? Or not? What happens when we all collectively try to do such a thing?

Perhaps that is what the next density is, Balance. Do we try to achieve it? Do we not? Do I dedicate my life to it? To try and deliver a message for all to hear? What can I do to achieve balance without telling everyone to do it? Perhaps in this universe everything was balanced to teach. Perhaps in another everything is unbalanced to teach?

I was afraid by stating this opinion I would be altering the state of the universe? Would it be imprisoning to share an opinion? A thought? I contemplated and remembered what Picard had taught Smile https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2U4pssEqHY
Surely to live is to be able to make a choice. Everyone, not just me, should be able to make that choice. Everyone should be given the choice to try and achieve a balance. To strive to achieve the impossible if they so wish it. Not because one man forces it on another. I believe that is what the universe/creator has been trying to communicate to everyone involved for years. I believe it is up to each entity, each soul, each consciousness to have the choice whether they do or don't want to strive to reach balance. No one will tell you how to achieve it, only you will know whether you are reaching it.

The key is how you use the information, not what it contains. I believe that is why humans haven't been granted certain information, its down to what our beliefs are and the unbalanced nature of them, its stopping all of us from progressing.

I haven't tried to contact my higher self, or had discussions with anyone then myself. Was there any need to? Did I need that information to realise?
Did the creator think the best thing to do would be to deliver the most human message possible? By experience? To see if it could work? To try and help us all realise?

I must say posting this message has been the most difficult decision in my life. That it may cause more harm then good. But I had learnt many lessons, and one was I would not let fear drag me or anyone down to a point of no return.

I'm only up to page 47 on the Law of One and will continue to post my thoughts as I go down this path.

If you had the patience to read all of this drivel, I am so grateful BigSmile I'm really looking forward to seeing what you guys think?


RE: A strange path - Jade - 07-25-2016

Thanks for sharing all of your thoughts, Rax0r!!

Do not be afraid of altering reality - you are here to co-create with us!! We all want your input!! It makes the whole of creation better.

You seem to have had a lot of moments of clarity. I'm glad they have led you here - to us, others, with who you can discuss these things with. I find it extremely valuable to have the feedback of others, and, as Ra says, "Those of like mind which together seek shall far more surely find." BigSmile

I look forward to your future contributions!!


RE: A strange path - YinYang - 07-26-2016

Hi Rax0r, I enjoyed reading all your thoughts as you discovered the material. For me personally, since I have struggled with many of the same things you've struggled with, and I also have a very busy mind like you, meditation has been the most beneficial in relaxing about our current reality, and realising it's perfect.

Your epiphany about it all starting with you was the most important moment in your journey. It all starts with self; loving self, forgiving self, accepting self, and then after a while because the universe is one being, you realise loving self, forgiving self and accepting self extends to others as well, since all is one.

It took me a long time to reach the point of feeling deep within that everything is perfect just the way it is, no matter what it may look like.

And welcome! Looking forward to more a-ha moments as you progress through the material, with Ra they never end.


RE: A strange path - anagogy - 07-26-2016

(07-25-2016, 06:59 PM)Rax0r Wrote: Truly STS/STO is in itself both positive vs negative. But i feel like I am both together. Wanting to do both.

Hey Rax0r, thanks for sharing your thoughts, your story is interesting.

The feeling of being both STS and STO is natural. STO is actually better thought of as "service to all", including your self. It is the path of equalizing the balance of energy among all others (the collective best for everyone). Service to self is serving self at the expense of others (consequences are only considered insofar as they impact the self).

So if there was a pile of money, the STO being would say, "Everybody gets an equal share." The STS being would say, "I deserve more than the others."

A lot of people are under the confusion that STO means you serve others at the expense of self, and that is actually not true. That is an unbalanced act of martyrdom and is no better or more balanced than serving self at the expense of others.

We might more accurately call them the path of energy equalization, and the path of energy absorption.


RE: A strange path - Jarthur - 07-26-2016

Hi RaxOr,
Nice story, thanks for sharing.
Feel that ability to "process my fears" has been highly beneficial to understanding myself and the world we experience. To "process" Inelia Benz explains that we can welcome the experience of fear, then locate where inside our body we are feeling it's presence, and then work it thru our chakras and release it thru our crown while we wave it goodby.
For myself, this has been a highly successful technique.
Hope it might work for others as well. Blessings.....


RE: A strange path - Jade - 07-26-2016

(07-26-2016, 03:14 PM)anagogy Wrote:
(07-25-2016, 06:59 PM)Rax0r Wrote: Truly STS/STO is in itself both positive vs negative. But i feel like I am both together. Wanting to do both.

Hey Rax0r, thanks for sharing your thoughts, your story is interesting.

The feeling of being both STS and STO is natural. STO is actually better thought of as "service to all", including your self. It is the path of equalizing the balance of energy among all others (the collective best for everyone). Service to self is serving self at the expense of others (consequences are only considered insofar as they impact the self).

So if there was a pile of money, the STO being would say, "Everybody gets an equal share." The STS being would say, "I deserve more than the others."

A lot of people are under the confusion that STO means you serve others at the expense of self, and that is actually not true. That is an unbalanced act of martyrdom and is no better or more balanced than serving self at the expense of others.

We might more accurately call them the path of energy equalization, and the path of energy absorption.

Building upon what anagogy has said...

There are two paths to achieving "balance": through the open heart, or deliberately avoiding the open heart.

The first thing I really focused on in the Ra teachings was learning what Ra has to say about chakras, and blockages. If the red/root chakra is unblocked, energy can move up to the orange/sacral chakra, then to the yellow/solar plexus, then to the ~green/heart~, then blue/throat and finally indigo/pineal. Balance comes through careful and deliberate activation/unblocking of the chakras, in order as much as possible. An STS harvestable individual has to reach the indigo without the heart chakra, which is very difficult. An STO individual usually has to navigate within the depths of the heart chakra, usually in the land of martyrdom, before they find their way to the indigo ray. These are the main "difficulties" of the two paths through third density.


RE: A strange path - Dekalb_Blues - 07-29-2016

(07-25-2016, 06:59 PM)Rax0r Wrote: .... So began my journey with no faith in myself.
I pursed a new path ....
I was always wondering why am I here? on this planet.... I felt like I didn't belong here? I was different? ....
I could either go down two paths: continue down a path of certainty, or a leap of faith....

Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. .... Music is best.
-- Frank Zappa

 
Where are we going?
Where are we going?

In all my waking days of wonder
All my ways of wrong and right
With all my dreams of clouds and thunder
I wander down this path tonight
All these dangers of destruction
Fill my breath with life and light
I drink it deep and think about us
On this path tonight

This path tonight
Where will it lead me?
Crumbling rock and stones on fire
This path tonight
You better believe it
'Cause I'm stumbling to my heart's desire
On this path tonight

I try to answer all the questions
I try to question all that's asked
I try my best to be myself
But wonder who's behind this mask
I'll take care of all my problems
Comfort in my soul's delight
I may not know just where I'm going
But I'm on this path

This path tonight
Where will it lead me?
Crumbling rock and stones on fire
This path tonight
You better believe it
'Cause I'm stumbling to my heart's desire
On this path tonight

What will I do with all these feelings?
Will my heart behave tonight?
This time is not like any other
Will I flee, or will I fight?
No one knows just how I'm dealing
With this heart that's not for hire
It's got me rocking, got me reeling
And I feel like I'm on fire

This path tonight
Where will it lead me?
Crumbling rock and stones on fire
This path tonight
You better believe it
'Cause I'm stumbling to my heart's desire
On this path tonight
Where will it lead me?
Crumbling rock and stones on fire
This path tonight
You better believe it
'Cause I'm stumbling to my heart's desire

On this path tonight
Where are we going?
Where are we going?
On this path tonight
On this path tonight
On this path tonight
On this path tonight



Funny coincidence how the seventh density (relative to us here in the third-going-on-fourth in this octave of realities) could be considered the primordial beyond-density or zero source or infinite -source or original "home" from whence a new octave of densities (unimaginable to us; we can barely imagine the one we're in!) would merrily emerge from the seeming utter chaos of pure unpolarized potential into the strictly timespace-ordered  realm of sheer form itself, forming the next octave up on the grand cosmic keyboard...  what inconceivably majestic music is being played at this Parnassian level, by what grand player?! (Fleeting image of the One Infinite Creator running endless Jerry-Lee-Lewis-glissando up keys) http://www.lawofone.info/results.php?q=octave&st=any&qo=&lh=aq&qc=0&s=&c=&fp=0&l=30&o=r


Lost in cheap delirium
Searching the neon light
I move carefully
Sink in the city aquarium
Sing in the key of night
As they're watching me

Take me somewhere we can be alone
Make me somewhere I can call a home
'Cause lately I've been losing all my own

Wrapped in silent elegance
Beautifully broken down
As illusions burst
Too late to learn from experience
Too late to wonder how
To finish first

Take me somewhere we can be alone
Make me somewhere I can call a home
'Cause lately I've been losing all my own

Take me somewhere we can be alone
Make me somewhere I can call a home
Won't you take me home
Won't you take me home




http://www.seekeraftertruth.com/idries-shah-the-teaching-story/  Fun fact: in certain traditional cultures (as reflected in the characters in their age-old stories, and in many of the fairy tales based on them, now current in the West) the transcendent human psyche contending with every sort of material-world impediment to its full expression is commonly represented by a beautiful down-to-earth woman, innocent and pure-hearted, unjustly beset by all kinds of evil attention and attack by the wicked...


One day I know
We'll find a place of hope
Just hold on to me
Just hold on to me
Walk tight, one line
You're wanted this time
There's no one to blame
Just hold on to me

(Come on)
And I'm right on time
(My love)
And the birds keep singin'
And you're right on line
And the bells keep ringin'
(Come on)
And the battle is won
(My love)
And the planes keep wingin'
And I'm right on time
One day there'll be a place for us
(And the girl keeps singin')

I walk, I wade
Through full lands and lonely
I stumble
I stumble
With you I wait
To be born again
With love comes the day
Just hold on to me

(Come on)
And I'm right on time
(My love)
And the birds keep singin'
And you're right on line
One day there'll be a place for us
(And the bells keep ringin')
(Come on)
And the battle is won
(My love)
And the planes keep wingin'
And I'm right on time
One day there'll be a place for us
(And the girl keeps singin')

Now is your time
To follow through
And to read the signs
Now the message sent
Let's bring it to its final end

(Come on)
And I'm right on time
(My love)
And the birds keep singin'
And you're right on line
One day there'll be a place for us
(And the bells keep ringin')
(Come on)
And the battle is won
(My love)
And the planes keep wingin'
And I'm right on time
One day there'll be a place for us
(And the girl keeps singin')
(Come on)
And I'm right on time
(My love)
And the birds keep singin'
And you're right on line
One day there'll be a place for us
(And the bells keep ringin')
(Come on)
And the battle is won
(My love)
And the planes keep wingin'
And I'm right on time
One day there'll be a place for us
(And the girl keeps singin')
(Come on)

One

(My love)

Day

I

(One day there'll be a place for us)

Know

(Come on)

There'll be

(My love)

A place

Called

(One day there'll be a place for us)

Home


Hello, RaxOr! Your post prompts me to muse over the question, Why are we here in this kind of puzzlingly complex, all-too-often punishing polarized reality? Some lyrical musical metaphors suggested themselves, as just waded through. Some prose follows: There's an old joke -- Man sees another man banging his head against a wall -- asks him, "Why in the world are you banging your head against a wall?!" -- second man says, "Because it feels so good when I stop..."  Source is the original unity, that divinely superior ineffable One which the well-informed Ra, Q'uo, & company are always banging on about, Law-wise -- the dynamic "home" from which we chose temporary but very real exile, and bravely individuated into mere amnesiac retardate fragments of our true fantastically sentient form, so as to be able to visit this impossibly constricted, inertia-filled place of maddeningly opposed force and counterforce, of "service to others" visional heart versus "service to self" blind reason... the tumultuous agony and ecstasy to be found here we live out to the utmost with our very beings so that by contrast we can better understand more of the infinite variety of mysterious being to be found in serenely enigma-clad source, and from the furthest possible point away from it, against all "reasonable" odds, in the face of all our human fallibility, and against every kind of opposition, still recover enough of a sense of who we actually are so as to confidently recognize, through love, the signs of the self-evident way back "home" deeply hidden (to the loveless) in this world's dense mundane matrix.   


In every state, the Heart is my support:
In this kingdom of existence it is my sovereign.
When I tire of the treachery of Reason--
God knows I am grateful to my Heart...
--Persian Quatrains of Ustad Khalilullah Khalili (trilingual; Baghdad: Al-Maarif Press, 1975) pp. 22/23; quoted in Idries Shah, Learning How to Learn: Psychology and Spirituality in the Sufi Way (London: Octagon Press, 1978) p. 17.



B. Bros. -- "Sweet Home Chicago" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_KkgPRo4wA
Flying L.'s -- "Interstellar Demons From The Future Make Themselves At Home (The CERN Song)" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_Hap_1aoZY


[Image: aton_image.jpg]  Cool


RE: A strange path - Brian_Sanchez - 07-30-2016

Thankyou for your thoughts. Harmony. The still water runs deep. Any ripples made eventually expand until stillness is reachieved. The ripples are endless just like the possibilities within this big ocean of creation. :3


RE: A strange path - Rax0r - 10-21-2016

Hi guys its me again. I'm in desperate need of some help i don't know what i have done. To be honest I have been having a really hard time lately. I don't know whether my last post is truely honest as i made it out to be. I am in a really confused. Half way through reading the Law of One something changed, i dont know for better or worse.
I have "awakened" during it, the many things that are happening to me are strange. I feel as if I percieve everything differently, although i thought i had realised control of these things but im completely out of control right now and it scares me. I see the death and destruction around the world. I see the tension the fear, as it looks like there is a divide taking place not just in me but my reality.

I think i am experiencing the world as the creator.....

A divide between truth, and deception. A group of people who are lieing and others who are in pursuit of truth. I honestly am thinking the world is headed for a disaster, between the likes of russia and america. I am shaking in fear, sometimes i can't get to sleep because of this. Spend the whole night in bed shaking. Other times im in complete divine bliss listening to Sadhguru https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atc3GkMAjXY.

I can't contain it anymore, there are too many lies in the world. I can't keep up an act for the rest of my life. I want to be truthful, its tearing me up inside. So I went to the doctor and spilled the beans, Please note i have not been true open and honest about anything up until this point and It was a really big leap of faith.
I tried to explain whats happening she recommended me to counselling, and at that point i couldn't take it anymore, im in tears....
My mum looked at me and asked are you ok.... I just collapsed in her arms....I started bawling my eyes out talking to her.... trying to explain what is happening.... but there was blank looks on her face.. I looked for anything to explain.... the bible... Yogis.... I tried to explain what is happening
I'm so scared right now i don't know what i have done.... I feel the same as the yogis in my experience...

The coming days I'm going to get questioned on everything I have been reading..... Do i tell them about the Law of One??? What do I do???? Have I made a big mistake??? I feel compelled to be honest???? But am i interfereing with free will..... I feel if i don't follow this path of honesty I shake in fear...What do I do I feel i can't ignore it.... I'm looking for answers everywhere but I feel I need to be honest????

My mum thinks I should see a priest and talk about my experience, or take up yoga.... I feel i need to talk to a yogi because maybe he will understand.... The only thing I know 100% is I can't do it alone I need help....

Please reply, I'm so scared right now...

I feel I have been lieing all this time to myself and others....I feel so ashamed... what do I do? I don't want to harm anyone or anything... the only thing I am harming is myself at the minute..... please help...


RE: A strange path - Aion - 10-21-2016

Hmm, what is it you are really afraid of?


RE: A strange path - Minyatur - 10-21-2016

All is well. Start by aligning yourself with this truth. Any thought that seeks to make you feel otherwise requires to be worked upon. Start to balance your feelings and stop overintelectualizing.

I think you want to be understood, but maybe you need to understand that you familly members might not be the right ones to offer you this service at the moment, although maybe at a different time they will. This forum might be a good way to help you with that.

It seems to me the root of your mind is a mess, time before sleep is dangerous about this and external forces can make use of this to reinforce negative pattern of thoughts. Like I said above, all is well, seek to align your emotions and thoughts with this one simple truth shared in the Law of One.


- - earth_spirit - 10-21-2016

-----


RE: A strange path - Jade - 10-21-2016

Hi Rax0r. I'm sorry that you are going through this tough time.

This is what is commonly referred to as, "initiation" in most spiritual. What is your own personal truth? How do you define that truth? How can you define something when the Creator is infinite?

And the pain of awareness! Oh my, once we begin to see the things that we haven't really "seen" before (like suffering on the scale that our planet suffers), it can be very overwhelming.

Do you meditate? If so, how often? I personally think there is nothing better for finding peace of mind than a routine of daily meditation. Science has proven that meditation creates new pathways and matter in the brain. This can only help us!!

I see you struggling with "The Truth". This is a big one. This is the attempt to move out of the green ray into the blue ray - a very, very noble thing to attempt. Thank you. The problem is, when we first begin "speaking our truth", it often comes out to others as crazy. Trust me. If it makes you feel any better, when I found the Law of One 3.5 years ago, my husband seriously thought he'd lost me. Now, we meditate daily together and he even just recently started reading the Law of One - about halfway through, like you. So, one thing to invoke is patience for people to come around. Like Minyatur said, this is a very personal experience you are going through - expecting those who have no idea what you are experiencing to have understanding is asking a lot. But, as this becomes more your "truth", and you feel good and sure, others will pick up on that. If you are unsure and a bit unhinged, then they will obviously believe it is the book. If you are sure and stable, then they must attribute it to the same.

What this requires is patience in balancing the lower chakras. Otherwise, when you do use the blue ray, you will sound, well, crazy. Distortions and blockages will come through. Learn your chakras. Start at the red ray. Feel them. Know them. This will give you a frame of reference for your emotions.

I say whether or not you share "the full story" depends on if you feel like you are on the verge of being committed. Have your frightened your family/therapist this much yet? If you haven't gotten that far yet, then I would continue to do my best to express myself and my truth to the fullest.

At the Homecoming Q'uo channeling, a question was asked regarding the importance of honesty. I think what Q'uo had to say is profound:

Quote:Question 1: The group does have further questions, beginning with: Please describe the circumstances in which honesty becomes a catalyst, and speak about the inner tools and awareness used to process that catalyst.

Q’uo: I am Q'uo, and I am aware of the query, my brother. You may say that honesty is a quality which is ripe with the opportunity for learning and for service to others, and that it allows by its very nature the response in kind for an harmonious exchange of energies. Thus, an honest query, an honest response, an honest confusion even, is a kind of invitation to catalyst to be presented, for this quality of honesty is not one which is widely utilized within your third-density illusion. It is a quality which is rarely mastered. In fact, it is difficult to find two entities that may express complete honesty towards each other in every moment. Thus when one perceives that there is a lack of honesty in any degree in the exchange of energies between another and the self, then the further querying as to the nature of the lack of honesty is brought about, necessitating the further exchange of energies with the hopeful outcome of each entity being able to process the catalyst required by the further energy exchange. And within that exchange and processing of catalyst, to be able to reach that honest expression of those feelings and thoughts within each self.

The fact that this is so difficult within your illusion guarantees that you shall find many opportunities on a daily basis to process catalyst if y- are wi- we correct this instrument, if you are willing to engage another entity in this process, and to engage until the process is complete. The ideal situation would be that the communication would be exchanged between each entity for as long as it took to reach the level of honesty that each was satisfied with. For you may find the qualities of honesty to be that which has many layers to it, for within each catalytic experience, there are various elements, various ingredients that go into the communication. Some may be mental in nature and objectively descriptive. Others may be emotional in nature and be colored with the feelings of the entity that are themselves distorted in such and such a fashion, according to how this entity has desired to see the creation about itself.

This of course, my friends, travels the full journey back to those pre-incarnative choices that each has made that allow one to see catalyst in such-and-such a fashion, so that perhaps two entities will look at the same catalyst and see it differently because that is their nature, and that is the way in which they have programmed themselves to be able to use catalyst, to produce certain effects: perhaps the strength of will, perhaps the resilience of the self, perhaps the ability to express the feelings of the heart, perhaps the ability to open for the first time the blue ray of clear communication. The opportunities are endless, my friends. Thus, when you engage yourself in a conscious fashion to provide honest communication with another human being, you are indeed engaged in the stuff of the third-density illusion, shall we say, in making clear of that which is unclear, and making whole of that which is broken, the healing of that which is wounded.

These are noble efforts, my friends. These are not easy activities to undertake. But if you are a conscious seeker of truth, it will be your nature and desire to do this in your daily round of activities above all else, no matter what it may seem to be upon your list of activities for the day. To find harmony where there was disharmony, to find peace where the was unrest, to find wholeness where there was brokenness, this is more important than buying your groceries, than running your errands, than delivering a friend to a place or destination. That you deliver yourself and another to the heart of your own truth in an honest fashion is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to another, and indeed to yourself, and ultimately to the one Creator who resides within you and discovers more of itself through your work to discover yourself.

This is a fine effort to make, my friends, and it is one which you will find the opportunity to accomplish in every day that you find yourself upon this third density planet.

The next step after honesty (blue ray) is faith (indigo ray) - to me, they go hand in hand. Have faith that no matter what words you speak, those that you are speaking to will hear what they need to hear.


RE: A strange path - OpalE - 10-23-2016

Smile  Welcome.

This feeling is getting old:  an urge to speak, but no words in tow.

The answer this time:  turn the brain off and start typing.

Bring4th_Jade used the words: "initiation" in most spiritual.

definitely.  your story and experiences reek of initiations, trials, and callings.

This:

(07-25-2016, 06:59 PM)Rax0r Wrote: Uni offered me a third try on a different subject, I was advised by my parents to go and just try, just give it one more chance. I still completely failed, and the same happened again. I became a loner, no friends, everything i tried failed. My mind felt numb, lack of anything and everything. The only thing I could do was sleep. Anything else was too pain full. Full blown depression, I felt suicide was the only option. That night on the brink of doom, with severe depression with constant suicidal thoughts in my head, i had a strange dream. A nuclear explosion fell down in front of me, I felt my whole body disintegrate and vaporize, it was a strange sensation, I can still recall the feeling today. I Woke up in hot sweats and was thinking, how have I been dragged down to this?  I had pursued a life ultimately just trying to do what everyone said to me. So I asked myself a question... If I could do one thing in the world what would it be...... My first thought was to help the world. It seemed like the only thing worth doing. Regardless as what has happened to me, I had finally found my calling. A goal! and a worthy one!

THIS!!

The dream of death is a HUGE one.  It's some kind of gate or spiritual milestone.  Not sure what it means exactly, but always a life-changing 'graduation' of sorts.  It seems to make an ally out of death.

Also.

A faceless darkness showing up to derail a chosen path that seems certain and perfect, "the right thing to do next."  It feels non-physical, but often seems actually visible in the physical environment; even working and speaking through the eyes and mouths of others -- some known well for many years -- seeming to temporarily eclipse their personalities.  It washes over, causing sometimes intense depression and total exhaustion, other times extreme irritation and anger at apparently nothing.  It tries to "get inside," then "bust out" into the world, using you as a channel or window ... sometimes threatening to hurt the people you love through you.

This accompanied it, but was probably tailored for me personally:  constant dreams of a black dragon and a red dragon wrestling in an abyss.  I would watch this for hours upon hours in my sleep.

Looking back, it always showed up at crossroads leading to different futures (sometimes mine, sometimes that of people close to me at the time).  Three times it came like a rapist and interrupted promising runs at universities; once at a community college.  The same every time:  complete certainty of doing the right thing and a perfect gpa to prove it (often surmounting obstacles that, in hindsight, appear completely out of character and impossible without some kind of 'divine intervention / inspiration'), then 'the darkness' would show up to squash all motivation / determination , then complete apathy and total failure.

Once, there was a complete certainty that the force that showed up to 'stop' me was the same force that urged me in that direction to begin with.

The force felt like evil incarnate coming to manipulate events according to some diabolical agenda ... but, in hindsight, it appears to have been some sort of teacher or guide.  At the time, it felt as if wonderful futures were being sabotaged; now, it's obvious that i was being steered away from traps would have led me towards becoming something 'out of keeping with myself.'

....

This may sound simplistic, but i can't overestimate how much of a help it's been:

Every time you find yourself faced with fear or confusion or desparation, no matter where you are or what's happening around you, relax your eyes and breathe deep into your guts like a baby.  Stop thinking and focus entirely on relaxing with the breath, and be still inside the mind.  It seems to "turn off the crisis" and usually clears the fog to reveal a solution that should have been obvious.

good luck.
be well


RE: A strange path - OpalE - 10-23-2016

Forgot something:

"Take your creative power into your own hands and use it to shape your reality, or place it in the hands of another and allow them to do it for you."

This choice is always there.  This is likely what is happening with your mother (and others).  By "giving" your choices to her, you submit to her perspective / world-view.

You're being called so strongly, however, it probably won't be possible to submit permanently.  You've heard the voice;  you can't unhear it.  You've felt yourself;  you won't be able to be an extension of another's will without knowing that that is what you are doing.

again:  good luck, and be well.
PREVAIL!!


RE: A strange path - Rax0r - 11-08-2016

Thank you everyone for your kind responses. It does mean the world to me.

I suppose the real questions i have right now... have i been brainwashed? Am I seeing what I want to see? Is the Law of One real? can I trust it?
I have been refusing to read it because I don't want to believe it, simply because I do not know what to believe.

Currently I've been in a stage of escapism, trying to escape from this change in perception. Looking for anything to put my mind at ease... comedy shows.. books... But it seems that as I tried to stop it, it came back stronger the questions, I have been feeling sick, every morning I am waking up and i feel sick. Sick of existence?
Trying to understand what happened to me?
Then asking what the consequences would be of telling people the truth of how I came to this perception.

I was searching myself for the answers, I was honestly confused about how to make a difference in the world, what is the right way to help other people. I've been thinking about intentions and actions. The judgmental part of society, who really needs to be helped?

What of religion? In what way does it help people? to believe in god? To believe in someone else and divert all your energies and beliefs to someone else rather than yourself? Is it for protection? control? I don't know?

In this time, I've been randomly searching some of the thoughts I've been having or not? i don't know. And connecting with old passages of text from great religious leaders.

It seems in general for the wellbeing of the planet, people have misinterpreted their meanings. How everything has been perceived literally, instead of applying it to themselves, but for some reason this has gone missing... People take it from person to person, opinion to opinion, no understanding, and gain no or little insight. Do they see what they want to see? or what people have told them to see. A infinite number of interpretations.
And I begin to see that the longer it goes on the more painful it gets. Its building on themselves? The longer the lie lingers the more people seem to get hurt?

This is my true fear, and by typing this sentence I guess I'm conquering that fear to try and do whats right. Right the wrongs?

Are the people who are providing the illusion on this planet really concerned about pleasing the creator? or are they still using their own lies to gain control of this world? With so many lies floating around, who can you trust?

I've also been thinking is this reality all just a reflection of me? Am I to blame? would that help? each person, living being, rock, tree just a reflection of me? Such a thought still causes me to shake with fear. It encompasses me with guilt

For all I know, something dreadful could happen in the next few years, months minutes. Ceasing my existence, stopping me from typing this message. Every conclusion, every thought, every step. I made lost..

Am I being unwise? I don't want to force people to do anything? But we are all afraid of being truthful? We or me?

The possibilities I have, or do I? What can you do to stop? I'm questioning whether I have any free will myself?

I, I, I, me, me, me? Am I the problem here? Would it have been better to just have not asked the question and lived my life like everyone else? Am I the monster?

It seems I'm trying to justify things looking for an answer when there is none? The deed is done, the sentence spoke. If the world doesn't descend into chaos, then maybe I may have an opportunity to help people to control their beliefs.


RE: A strange path - Minyatur - 11-08-2016

(11-08-2016, 08:16 PM)Rax0r Wrote: Thank you everyone for your kind responses. It does mean the world to me.

I suppose the real questions i have right now... have i been brainwashed? Am I seeing what I want to see? Is the Law of One real? can I trust it?
I have been refusing to read it because I don't want to believe it, simply because I do not know what to believe.

I think you should read it to see if it's useful more than true, I just read it out of curiosity at first and resonated strongly with the material. Beyond truth, I think it gives healthy advice for spiritual evolution toward the positive.
(11-08-2016, 08:16 PM)Rax0r Wrote: Currently I've been in a stage of escapism, trying to escape from this change in perception. Looking for anything to put my mind at ease... comedy shows.. books... But it seems that as I tried to stop it, it came back stronger the questions, I have been feeling sick, every morning I am waking up and i feel sick. Sick of existence?
Trying to understand what happened to me?
Then asking what the consequences would be of telling people the truth of how I came to this perception.

I was searching myself for the answers, I was honestly confused about how to make a difference in the world, what is the right way to help other people. I've been thinking about intentions and actions. The judgmental part of society, who really needs to be helped?

I think it always start with yourself, so who really needs to be helped? Yourself, and once that is well, then you can start thinking about helping others.

(11-08-2016, 08:16 PM)Rax0r Wrote: What of religion? In what way does it help people? to believe in god? To believe in someone else and divert all your energies and beliefs to someone else rather than yourself? Is it for protection? control? I don't know?

In this time, I've been randomly searching some of the thoughts I've been having or not? i don't know. And connecting with old passages of text from great religious leaders.

It seems in general for the wellbeing of the planet, people have misinterpreted their meanings. How everything has been perceived literally, instead of applying it to themselves, but for some reason this has gone missing... People take it from person to person, opinion to opinion, no understanding, and gain no or little insight. Do they see what they want to see? or what people have told them to see. A infinite number of interpretations.
And I begin to see that the longer it goes on the more painful it gets. Its building on themselves? The longer the lie lingers the more people seem to get hurt?

This is my true fear, and by typing this sentence I guess I'm conquering that fear to try and do whats right. Right the wrongs?

The Law of One teaches that there is no right and wrong, there is but love/light and light/love. In this place that is a hard thing to see, and part of what makes it hard is to develop the faith required to see, how about you try to see all those things that make you feel fear in a way that you will feel differently about it all?

I personally think and believe that all things in this world are beautiful, and as such will seek to always align my gaze with that.

(11-08-2016, 08:16 PM)Rax0r Wrote: Are the people who are providing the illusion on this planet really concerned about pleasing the creator? or are they still using their own lies to gain control of this world? With so many lies floating around, who can you trust?

I think they are an answer to a need, just as this place is.

(11-08-2016, 08:16 PM)Rax0r Wrote: I've also been thinking is this reality all just a reflection of me? Am I to blame? would that help? each person, living being, rock, tree just a reflection of me? Such a thought still causes me to shake with fear. It encompasses me with guilt

It is you, it is me, you are it and I am it, you are me and I am you. We are the Creator and this is light/love and love/light. Fear is a blockage born from misperceiving your reality.

(11-08-2016, 08:16 PM)Rax0r Wrote: For all I know, something dreadful could happen in the next few years, months minutes. Ceasing my existence, stopping me from typing this message. Every conclusion, every thought, every step. I made lost..

Am I being unwise? I don't want to force people to do anything? But we are all afraid of being truthful? We or me?

I tend to prone balance before action, so I'd advise to seek balance before seeking to influence others.

(11-08-2016, 08:16 PM)Rax0r Wrote: The possibilities I have, or do I? What can you do to stop? I'm questioning whether I have any free will myself?

I see free will as a multi-layered thing. Your free will needs to contain what lead to your birth and usually that is beyond the conscious mind.

(11-08-2016, 08:16 PM)Rax0r Wrote: I, I, I, me, me, me? Am I the problem here? Would it have been better to just have not asked the question and lived my life like everyone else? Am I the monster?

There is no monster, can't you see the beauty in your distress? To me you seem full of love but confused about yourself and your reality. That is fine, that is understandable, and there are many paths toward finding peace and radiate this peace into this world.

(11-08-2016, 08:16 PM)Rax0r Wrote: It seems I'm trying to justify things looking for an answer when there is none? The deed is done, the sentence spoke. If the world doesn't descend into chaos, then maybe I may have an opportunity to help people to control their beliefs.

I think the truth is that you are and your reality is, now what you have most power upon is how you wish to feel about all of it.


RE: A strange path - Rax0r - 11-15-2016

I'm getting desperate.

When I came round to the awareness of being one, having seen the creator for myself as I am. Having believed I am the one,

I have such a huge ego, I feel like I can't keep my mouth stum. The only reason I believe i'm here was to help everyone, espiecially after having that nuke dream. I want to talk let flow the information and help everyone.

I need to tell you the story. In my life I have always tried to understand people, why people are the way they are. Why they are thinking about life like that. What is their perception. I did this because of fear, I was afraid of being hurt again. I was guessing, what are they thinking about me? It got so bad to the point that I was believing I was different. There was something wrong with me, why is everyone staring at me? I became so paranoid and depressed.

I'm over that part of my life now and this has helped me gain an understanding, about why others may think the way they do. How people can easily misinterpret other people. I see myself almost as the translator, trying to help people. Trying to make sure people understand each other. This was before reading the Law of One.

But I feel like I understand it so well I could people change their beliefs to the Law of One. I can help them see the light. Help everyone gain the perspective of being the creator.

As I awakened while reading the Law of One, and I was in bed sleeping I had 2 strange dreams. The first I was looking for something, something hidden in strange multi platform room. It was getting closer, suddenly I realised. Then BAM all of sudden I saw a alien head with big eyes staring at me, I woke and it was still there imprinted on my vision when I woke. Then a voice, maybe it was mine maybe it was his just said "let it happen".
As I went back to sleep I had another strange dream, I was walking through the street, with someone. He said to me look at everyone being incarnated here. And out of all of them you have been chosen. Look they are all you. You can either come back here, again and again or you can do something. I woke up and there was a small mark on my leg, like an ingrown hair.

I feel like I have been manipulated, like I'm being forced to do something.

I live in a crowded city, I'm surrounded by world events on the TV, everywhere I look devastation. Mindless masses.
I'm in such a state, I can help them. But there is the law of free will, I can't interfere. Its like I have finally been given a chance to possibly help. But instead I can't. I can't speak freely because I feel who am I to change things here. I turn on the radio and I hear subtle messages all the time. I'm applying all the messages to myself, Almost as if everything is meant for me. Its driving me crazy.

Its like aloth of the things I have seen are all forcing me do do something. All the messages of the past, matrix, neo, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKpFFD7aX3c Frodo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjAAC13al9s. Are now coming into play.

I can't live my life like this, I'm so emotionally attached to the situation, I can't just do nothing. And wait for people to become awaken. I can't just leave subtle signs like look "inside you" or anything. Its tearing me apart I see all the signs others miss. And feel like I can't do anything to help. Why? because I don't want to interfere, I don't want to cause more pain to people. I don't want to control other peoples perceptions.

There is a clear gap, people who are awakened, and people who are not. The people who are awakened believe they are right, the people who are not believe they are right. Who is to say what is the right perception. I want to bridge the gap, but I can't because I don't want to interfere.....and because of it I feel the love gone.I am continuously feeling anxious. In worry,

More signs from my brother of the chaos theory, butterfly book. People keep talking to me about the universe, its unbearable.

Its like finally I have found a way to help people, but I can't do it.
Its like I understand everyone's problems but I can't help anyone. I can't tell people, I can't even try to make them understand because it would be manipulating others to my way of thinking. I can't do anything.
Its like watching the destruction of the world from the sidelines or through your tv. Holding the peace treaty that could of prevented it. But in doing so would subject everyones freedom to thinking the are all one.

The divide is clear the awakened/enlightened vs the non awakened.

Its like I have been thrown into a room, and been forced to choose two doors. Do nothing, keep your mouth shut and don't help anyone. Or do something which could disastrously effect the world.

The problem is choice. I only have this group to discuss the problem with.
I have no council, no chamber of wise people help me decide. Nobody who will understand. I'm in agony, but I'm staying alive somehow, waking each day, repeating the same nightmare. I need to tell someone!
This picture is exactly how I'm feeling at the moment: https://alpha.wallhaven.cc/wallpaper/161723


RE: A strange path - OpalE - 11-16-2016

A friend recently e-mailed a dream and asked for an opinion.
Intuition says part of the response applies here:


The choice is being presented as having only two options.  They are both spawned from the same source and lead to the same place.

The entire thing is a trap.  Making either choice is to feed your personal/primal power to the false structure in which the choice is being presented ...  "reinforcing the illusion"  "helping build your own prison"



i think no choice needs to be made.  gaze.  breathe.  relax.
from a place of stillness, you'll know if and when to speak.

be well.


RE: A strange path - Jade - 11-16-2016

Ra says that as we awaken to our true selves, as Wanderers, that it is frustrating because we -know- of our denser bodies, but can't access them easily through the third density vehicle.

Quote:65.19 Questioner: [chuckles] Thank you. The forgetting process was puzzling me because you said that the fourth-density activated people who were here who had been harvestable did not have the same forgetting problem. Could you tell me why the Wanderer loses his memory?

Ra: I am Ra. The reason is twofold. First, the genetic properties of the connection between the mind/body/spirit complex and the cellular structure of the body is different for third density than for third/fourth density.

Secondly, the free will of third-density entities needs be preserved. Thus Wanderers volunteer for third-density genetic or DNA connections to the mind/body/spirit complex. The forgetting process can be penetrated to the extent of the Wanderer remembering what it is and why it is upon the planetary sphere. However, it would be an infringement if Wanderers penetrated the forgetting so far as to activate the more dense bodies and thus be able to live, shall we say, in a god-like manner. This would not be proper for those who have chosen to serve.

The new fourth-density entities which are becoming able to demonstrate various newer abilities are doing so as a result of the present experience, not as a result of memory. There are always a few exceptions, and we ask your forgiveness for constant barrages of over-generalization.



RE: A strange path - OpalE - 11-16-2016

A message from meditation. Probably belongs here:

"I" can't "contain" "One"
"You" can't help anyone, but "One" can help "Oneself"

It seems desire pulls you past a gate. The ego can't come with you. It panics and despairs, because it perceives what you move towards to be it's own death.

There is, indeed, a choice; but it is not as presented. A more accurate presentations might be:

"Be 'I,' Be 'One,' or back away from the gate until the proper key is found"

be well.


RE: A strange path - Sunshine09 - 11-19-2016

A reply or a question, I'm Indigo or what I think you call wanders. I've been set on a path to enlighten an individual, he is my boyfriend we live together. I have been asked to help him by his parents whom have passed. I KNOW why I'm here, I KNOW my mission but I feel I'm running out of time to have him take me seriously. He has a big ego and doesn't know "Service to others" I've been trying to Nug him into service but to no avail. We ride bikes almost daily and today I vomited so much info I don't know if/how he will process it. He has wondered what happened to accent aliens on History channel, I told him we are so Far past that! ETs are here now and always have been!


RE: A strange path - Sunshine09 - 11-19-2016

(11-15-2016, 06:22 PM)Rax0r Wrote: I'm getting desperate.

When I came round to the awareness of being one, having seen the creator for myself as I am. Having believed I am the one,

I have such a huge ego, I feel like I can't keep my mouth stum. The only reason I believe i'm here was to help everyone, espiecially after having that nuke dream. I want to talk let flow the information and help everyone.

I need to tell you the story. In my life I have always tried to understand people, why people are the way they are. Why they are thinking about life like that. What is their perception. I did this because of fear, I was afraid of being hurt again. I was guessing, what are they thinking about me? It got so bad to the point that I was believing I was different. There was something wrong with me, why is everyone staring at me? I became so paranoid and depressed.

I'm over that part of my life now and this has helped me gain an understanding, about why others may think the way they do. How people can easily misinterpret other people. I see myself almost as the translator, trying to help people. Trying to make sure people understand each other. This was before reading the Law of One.

But I feel like I understand it so well I could people change their beliefs to the Law of One. I can help them see the light. Help everyone gain the perspective of being the creator.

As I awakened while reading the Law of One, and I was in bed sleeping I had 2 strange dreams. The first I was looking for something, something hidden in strange multi platform room. It was getting closer, suddenly I realised. Then BAM all of sudden I saw a alien head with big eyes staring at me, I woke and it was still there imprinted on my vision when I woke. Then a voice, maybe it was mine maybe it was his just said "let it happen".
As I went back to sleep I had another strange dream, I was walking through the street, with someone. He said to me look at everyone being incarnated here. And out of all of them you have been chosen. Look they are all you. You can either come back here, again and again or you can do something. I woke up and there was a small mark on my leg, like an ingrown hair.

I feel like I have been manipulated, like I'm being forced to do something.

I live in a crowded city, I'm surrounded by world events on the TV, everywhere I look devastation. Mindless masses.
I'm in such a state, I can help them. But there is the law of free will, I can't interfere. Its like I have finally been given a chance to possibly help. But instead I can't. I can't speak freely because I feel who am I to change things here. I turn on the radio and I hear subtle messages all the time. I'm applying all the messages to myself, Almost as if everything is meant for me. Its driving me crazy.

Its like aloth of the things I have seen are all forcing me do do something. All the messages of the past, matrix, neo, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKpFFD7aX3c Frodo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjAAC13al9s. Are now coming into play.

I can't live my life like this, I'm so emotionally attached to the situation, I can't just do nothing. And wait for people to become awaken. I can't just leave subtle signs like look "inside you" or anything. Its tearing me apart I see all the signs others miss. And feel like I can't do anything to help. Why? because I don't want to interfere, I don't want to cause more pain to people. I don't want to control other peoples perceptions.

There is a clear gap, people who are awakened, and people who are not. The people who are awakened believe they are right, the people who are not believe they are right. Who is to say what is the right perception. I want to bridge the gap, but I can't because I don't want to interfere.....and because of it I feel the love gone.I am continuously feeling anxious. In worry,

More signs from my brother of the chaos theory, butterfly book. People keep talking to me about the universe, its unbearable.

Its like finally I have found a way to help people, but I can't do it.
Its like I understand everyone's problems but I can't help anyone. I can't tell people, I can't even try to make them understand because it would be manipulating others to my way of thinking. I can't do anything.
Its like watching the destruction of the world from the sidelines or through your tv. Holding the peace treaty that could of prevented it. But in doing so would subject everyones freedom to thinking the are all one.

The divide is clear the awakened/enlightened vs the non awakened.

Its like I have been thrown into a room, and been forced to choose two doors. Do nothing, keep your mouth shut and don't help anyone. Or do something which could disastrously effect the world.

The problem is choice. I only have this group to discuss the problem with.
I have no council, no chamber of wise people help me decide. Nobody who will understand. I'm in agony, but I'm staying alive somehow, waking each day, repeating the same nightmare. I need to tell someone!
This picture is exactly how I'm feeling at the moment: https://alpha.wallhaven.cc/wallpaper/161723



RE: A strange path - Sunshine09 - 11-19-2016

Dear Strange Path, ask your guides for help. Pray on assistance for what troubles you. You Know the answers are there, surrender and just let it be! You are So SPECIAL in the fact that YOU KNOW! We are here to learn! I have regained so many memories from my past that now make sense! In service to others you will loose your ego. Open a door for a stranger. Pick up garbage when you see it. BE a Good example for others, through this YOU WILL INSPIRE them to do good deeds. And watch the Wizard of Oz and see how it pertains to what's going on now! CLUE the man behind the curtain is the NEW WORLD ORDER... just love UNCONDITIONALLY, AND BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL! I hope I helped. I say the Lord's Prayer everyday, I always looked at prayer as a key or a guidebook. PEACE and LOVE to you?


RE: A strange path - Rax0r - 05-27-2019

I know the truth. The truth shall set you free. The Law of One is deception. On one of the greatest levels.

I fell for the lies in this channeling. I fell hard alone shaking on my bed. believing in "one", meant to confuse the mind destroy all identity, alienate you from people, which casts you all alone.

A very real spiritual fight took place for my soul it seemed. Extreme positive and negative thoughts.

I pleaded with the only thing i knew what was real, God. And asked for and begged for help.

He provided a moment of relief and guided me towards someones testimony which was present on my computer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U166yf5VxM8

In that moment i knew God was real. If heaven is real... so is hell.

This channeling....
It entices you in by making you think your knowing what the truth of this place is. With descriptions of all of life's mysteries.
This doesn't enlighten you, it blinds you.

You are made to believe that Ra is real. This is could be any entity.
The whole of the Law of One is a ritual. In order to "channel" this they performed a ritual. Can't you see, God needs no ritual.
If you wish to know the truth then pray to God.

You believe you are a "wanderer". The channeling elevates you.. making you believe you are something special. All of it is deceit and trickery.

These false identities are very much prevalent in the world today. Including the whole list of gender pronouns.
It all boils down to the same thing. You are special.. you are chosen.. you are different.... only the universe exists.... there is nothing to fear...
But it is not true. God is real, you have things to be afraid of, there are deceivers among you.

Come to your senses, You have no way of knowing Ra is who he says he is. You're giving your faith to Ra. A entity conjured in a ritual.

They used a bible in the ceremony. A bible. They use this in satanic rituals. The words in the book are true, not the words conjured by the rituals.

I am typing this message because you should know. God has sent us the way for us to follow, He came, his name is Jesus Christ.

Demons are real, evil is real. Do not fool yourselves, humble yourselves for a brief moment.
Believe in God, don't cloud yourselves believing you are special.

Beliefs are dangerous things that are manipulated. God sent Jesus to guide us away from the deception. Believe in Jesus, and keep yourselves safe.


RE: A strange path - AnthroHeart - 05-27-2019

(05-27-2019, 05:53 PM)Rax0r Wrote: I know the truth. The truth shall set you free. The Law of One is deception. On one of the greatest levels.

I fell for the lies in this channeling. I fell hard alone shaking on my bed. believing in "one", meant to confuse the mind destroy all identity, alienate you from people, which casts you all alone.

A very real spiritual fight took place for my soul it seemed. Extreme positive and negative thoughts.

I pleaded with the only thing i knew what was real, God. And asked for and begged for help.

He provided a moment of relief and guided me towards someones testimony which was present on my computer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U166yf5VxM8

In that moment i knew God was real. If heaven is real... so is hell.

This channeling....
It entices you in by making you think your knowing what the truth of this place is. With descriptions of all of life's mysteries.
This doesn't enlighten you, it blinds you.

You are made to believe that Ra is real. This is could be any entity.
The whole of the Law of One is a ritual. In order to "channel" this they performed a ritual. Can't you see, God needs no ritual.
If you wish to know the truth then pray to God.

You believe you are a "wanderer". The channeling elevates you.. making you believe you are something special. All of it is deceit and trickery.

These false identities are very much prevalent in the world today. Including the whole list of gender pronouns.
It all boils down to the same thing. You are special.. you are chosen.. you are different.... only the universe exists.... there is nothing to fear...
But it is not true. God is real, you have things to be afraid of, there are deceivers among you.

Come to your senses, You have no way of knowing Ra is who he says he is. You're giving your faith to Ra. A entity conjured in a ritual.

They used a bible in the ceremony. A bible. They use this in satanic rituals. The words in the book are true, not the words conjured by the rituals.

I am typing this message because you should know. God has sent us the way for us to follow, He came, his name is Jesus Christ.

Demons are real, evil is real. Do not fool yourselves, humble yourselves for a brief moment.
Believe in God, don't cloud yourselves believing you are special.

Beliefs are dangerous things that are manipulated. God sent Jesus to guide us away from the deception. Believe in Jesus, and keep yourselves safe.

Saying there is only one way is misguided. The Law of One suggests that we will each find our own path.
God is one Logos. There are many Logoi. I think if God is real, he wouldn't have a need to be worshipped.


RE: A strange path - Rax0r - 05-27-2019

Quote:Saying there is only one way is misguided. The Law of One suggests that we will each find our own path.
God is one Logos. There are many Logoi. I think if God is real, he wouldn't have a need to be worshipped.

If you are lost, where will you go? Who will you turn to? A channeling ritual?
I did not state anything about you needing to worship God.


RE: A strange path - AnthroHeart - 05-27-2019

(05-27-2019, 06:10 PM)Rax0r Wrote:
Quote:Saying there is only one way is misguided. The Law of One suggests that we will each find our own path.
God is one Logos. There are many Logoi. I think if God is real, he wouldn't have a need to be worshipped.

If you are lost, where will you go? Who will you turn to? A channeling ritual?
I did not state anything about you needing to worship God.

If I am lost, I have spirit guides. I can do a shamanic journey meditation and seek answers.
I don't channel myself.

The christian religion says you have to worship God, so I had mentioned it.