+- Bring4th (https://www.bring4th.org/forums)
+-- Forum: Bring4th Community (https://www.bring4th.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=16)
+--- Forum: Olio (https://www.bring4th.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=7)
+--- Thread: Bouts of hating myself (/showthread.php?tid=13123)
Bouts of hating myself - AnthroHeart - 07-31-2016
I am phased by thoughts of me doing something terrible which I have never done, and I it causes feelings of hate within me.
How do you get past that, and is that hate unhealthy?
I'm sort of responsible for the feeling, but my mind turns it up a few notches to make it something really terrible.
I try listening to music, but the feeling of hurting another person/animal keeps coming over me.
Because of my love of anthros (1/2 human 1/2 animal) I am extra sensitive.
RE: Bouts of hating myself - Minyatur - 07-31-2016
How about balancing these thoughts and feelings? Think of yourself doing something good and feel love for yourself. Seems to me you need to switch your focus.
If that does not work then you can dive into the feeling and find it's root to work with it. There's always reasons we feel certains ways and usually the root reason is different than why it resurfaces or why it keeps affecting us. Solve the root within yourself, release the stagnant energy and free yourself.
RE: Bouts of hating myself - ada - 08-01-2016
Try working out when you have that feeling next time. Also might the cause be environmental? Ask yourself.
RE: Bouts of hating myself - anagogy - 08-01-2016
The intensification of green ray energies make all these little things more palpable and hard to ignore. It forces the self to face the self and dredges up all the parts of our shadow into the light of day to be consciously acknowledged and accepted even though it is often parts we are reluctant to take in. All you can do is attempt to forgive yourself, and gently turn your attention away. Don't force anything. Just move past them, like making your way through a crowd of people. You don't have to fight every person, just acknowledge them, and gently move past them.
RE: Bouts of hating myself - Glow - 08-01-2016
(07-31-2016, 08:35 PM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote: I am phased by thoughts of me doing something terrible which I have never done, and I it causes feelings of hate within me.
How do you get past that, and is that hate unhealthy?
I'm sort of responsible for the feeling, but my mind turns it up a few notches to make it something really terrible.
I try listening to music, but the feeling of hurting another person/animal keeps coming over me.
Because of my love of anthros (1/2 human 1/2 animal) I am extra sensitive.
I think we all have different bits of light and darkness. It's wonderful you have not acted on your darkness.
Energy is changing rapidly and the effects right now are intense.
Know you do not go this alone and your spirit forgiving these parts of yourself will lighten the collective consciousness. We all have things to forgive and release to help things along.
I keep being given the word balance and I think with the energy changes its a good reminder not to get blown around high:low, dark:light forgive and accept each part so you can return to balance.
RE: Bouts of hating myself - AnthroHeart - 08-01-2016
(08-01-2016, 12:53 AM)anagogy Wrote: The intensification of green ray energies make all these little things more palpable and hard to ignore. It forces the self to face the self and dredges up all the parts of our shadow into the light of day to be consciously acknowledged and accepted even though it is often parts we are reluctant to take in. All you can do is attempt to forgive yourself, and gently turn your attention away. Don't force anything. Just move past them, like making your way through a crowd of people. You don't have to fight every person, just acknowledge them, and gently move past them.
I hope I can trust in this advice. I'm a little scared about how my future will unravel.
Not so much scared about my shadow side, but about how life will treat me.
I've found so much to love, but will it be enough?
RE: Bouts of hating myself - YinYang - 08-02-2016
Gem, we're all a little scared about how our futures will unravel. Faith really makes all the difference in the world, it's an incredible powerful force. When you cultivate faith, you slowly-slowly start living in the moment, and know that tomorrow will take care of itself.
These are exciting times, and while shadow work isn't very pleasant, because the self honesty required is extensive, when you get to the other side you feel much "lighter", which must be the result of the balancing.
Gem Wrote:I've found so much to love, but will it be enough?
Yes it will be, love is the greatest protector.
RE: Bouts of hating myself - AnthroHeart - 08-02-2016
Today was much better. It was a busy day, too much going on to dwell on negativity. Though I don't really like going out, but you have to to get groceries and such.
RE: Bouts of hating myself - Aion - 08-03-2016
Funny, my advice would be the opposite of most here. I think you should mentally indulge in your fantasies of harm, following through with them in visualization and imagination. See how you feel after you do such a thing, even only mentally and I think you will find yourself naturally becoming less likely to have those feelings.
Only after you have fully explored these desires mentally do I then think you should apply the practices of balancing and forgiveness, but the first task is to properly know yourself before you can accept yourself.
RE: Bouts of hating myself - APeacefulWarrior - 08-03-2016
Dovetailing with what Aion said, I would agree that there are dangers inherent to simply trying to deny or ignore darker impulses inside yourself. That easily leads to outright repression, and that's a very unstable situation. The more desires are 'bottled up' within someone, the more likely they are to explode one day like a badly-manufactured soda can the moment a person gets a bit shaken.
The hard part is grappling with those feelings without having guilt, self-recrimination, or other feelings which would ultimately prevent self-acceptance. Those are feelings that re-enforce negativity. In a worse-case scenario, it becomes a self-perpetuating negative spiral. A person has angry thoughts, which causes them to dislike themselves for thinking these things, which causes more angry thoughts, etc etc.
The trick, at least as I see it, is in understanding that EVERYONE has something of a darker side. Some have it more than others, but I honestly don't think it's possible to live life on Earth without at least a little negativity soaking in. After all, even Jesus\Yeshua had at least one instance of flat-out losing his temper! (ie, the moneychangers at the temple)
And I figure if the big J.C. couldn't keep his cool 100% of the time, the rest of us are off the hook.
So I'd also suggest you look for ways to explore these feelings in a non-harmful way which will have as little karmic impact as possible. Like, just in my own case, whenever I'm really upset at the world, I'll boot up a Grand Theft Auto game and go engage in pretend mayhem for awhile. Killing video game characters is about as harmless as a 3D act can be, and after half an hour of it, I'm feeling better and have more "room" in myself for positive energies since I've burned off the negative energy.
If you can find a similar outlet for your darker urges, I also suspect you'll feel better -and more positive- once you work through them a bit. And then, as Aion suggested, you can look at yourself in a positive manner as you engage in self-examination.
RE: Bouts of hating myself - BlatzAdict - 08-03-2016
(08-01-2016, 08:00 PM)IndigoGeminiWolf Wrote:(08-01-2016, 12:53 AM)anagogy Wrote: The intensification of green ray energies make all these little things more palpable and hard to ignore. It forces the self to face the self and dredges up all the parts of our shadow into the light of day to be consciously acknowledged and accepted even though it is often parts we are reluctant to take in. All you can do is attempt to forgive yourself, and gently turn your attention away. Don't force anything. Just move past them, like making your way through a crowd of people. You don't have to fight every person, just acknowledge them, and gently move past them.
I hope I can trust in this advice. I'm a little scared about how my future will unravel.
Not so much scared about my shadow side, but about how life will treat me.
I've found so much to love, but will it be enough?
The shadow reintegration work is basically this, how well are you able to console a child who is hurt.
So in effect you are looking for the best way to console your inner child. Yes life might throw things at you, excrement happens, but you need to remind yourself that you will always be there for yourself to care about yourself and love yourself despite whatever happens. If you can do that then that is going to significantly open up your orange chakra.
No one else can do it for you but you doing it for you.
During these times as an empath I often wonder if these are even our emotions, and I feel like we are processing other people's emotions for them. I feel like we are picking up other peoples collective emotions and learning to transmute it all back into love light. So many people are feeling lethargy, when I feel that way I remind myself to feel thankful for something. I go say I love you to my Kale in my backyard =̴̶̷̤̄ .̫ =̴̶̷̤̄ I'm so grateful to have you in my life, I love you and everything that you do.
I'm actually also wanting to say I'm grateful to you Indigo Gemini Wolf for speaking about this particular vibration and seeking to learn to heal it. Hosanna Hosanna! =̴̶̷̤̄ .̫ =̴̶̷̤̄
RE: Bouts of hating myself - AnthroHeart - 08-03-2016
Kudos on the picking up other people's vibration. This is not all mine.