Episode #54 - Printable Version

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Episode #54 - Bring4th_Austin - 04-20-2017

Episode #54

In this episode, we discuss:
- The struggle of self-acceptance for wanderers.
- Are all traumatic events the result of karma, or can they be random?

A transcript for this episode will be posted once it is available.

Feel free to discuss this episode in this thread!

RE: Episode #54 - Majana Silvo - 04-21-2017

Self-acceptance has been a huge issue for me....Most of my life I hated myself and why?...

I did discover one day that it was about comparing. I compared with others and found I was different. I felt the others were more equal and I was different from all of them. I started to Judge myself as different and put on a conclusion that that was wrong. It felt strange as a child I could not understand all this. But gladly I understand now. But the feeling of being different and not fitting into the "norm" of society seems to stay. But I realize I cannot be like ordinary people doing what they do. I do not feel like that. It is not me.
Most of my life I tried to adapt to fit in. It made me sad and depressed. So a few years ago I learnt to look inside me for the answers. I must do and be who I am, even if that means that I am different. I must still be “different”. Because that is what I am. And I started to be different and belief in that. It made a huge change inside me. I felt happier. I still did not felt that I fit in. But my focus was no longer on fitting in, but being me. And so because I changed that focus I did not even matter that I did not fit in. I probably never will and what once seemed a big issue never really was an issue at all…
I choose to live my life as me and accept that I am different. And that different is not wrong or bad, what I always believed, but that was a wrong belief I had created as a child when I compared and thought there was something wrong with me. This was never the case. There was never anything wrong with me at all. I was just different…. And I should be proud of that. Okay that is still difficult, but I accept it now…and now I make no issues of it anymore others do not seem to make an issues of it either. I guess I am a loner and always will be, I spend time with people, but need time apart as well and I can enjoy that both…..

My childhood felt traumatic. I still have nightmares about that time long ago when I was young and did not understood anything of “live in a body” and all the limitations that brings. In my dreams I was free and could do and create whatever I want in the “dream world” just by thinking it and desiring it. But the physical world was quite different from that place I know so well, beyond the body.

But now I know it was all meant to be. Without the trauma and the suffering I would not have learnt all that I have. It was the best teacher I could ever wish for or even more than that. I understand what happened and it felt horrible when I was young, but the pain was once real to me, but now the pain is only a slight memories of a time past. It even feels a different “me” who was in that pain somehow. The pain was only because I was ignorant, there were certain things I had to learn and face and the pain was a catalyst that helped me learning all these lessons. I even believe I planted the lessons there myself, or rather my higher self planted them there for me so I could make the choice to learn or stay ignorant.

RE: Episode #54 - Bring4th_Austin - 05-10-2017

Thank you for sharing Majana. I can relate strongly to your sentiments. It is a constant struggle for me as well. Even still, a social interaction will (sometimes aggressively) throw it back into my face how "different" I am. It conditions and reinforces the struggle of self-acceptance.

It is a great feeling of peace and relief to realize that such difficult experiences can be viewed as opportunities for growth. But that perspective does not always prevail when one's heart is hurting.

RE: Episode #54 - Sacred Fool - 05-11-2017

One additional element which could be tossed into the discussion is that, in my experience, self acceptance becomes ever more challenging as one works ever deeper to balance personality distortions.  That is, the more you actually feel and know your own distortions, the more one inherits fuel for the fire of self blame and disgust, etc.  It's a bruising process, to be sure.  Ugly distortions, particularly in the lower energy centers, can be so horrifying that even getting to the point of choosing whether or not to accept can be a real ordeal, particularly if significant trauma is involved.

RE: Episode #54 - alastair - 08-13-2020

An interesting discussion. To me, planning an entire life before birth, or every event that occurs as having been planned, seems to violate everyone's free will — which has been stressed to be a big deal here.

It seems the biggest aspect of planning would be the choice of what body and environment we want, that will deeply influence the scope of decisions we have available during our lifetime.

I can see us receiving nudges during life to follow a plan, but ultimately don't we have the free will to choose to not listen to guidance or not? And the free will of others can mess up our own plans.