(05-28-2018, 04:52 PM)DVA Wrote: - first one: WHY? Why would anyone with the highly developed mind find this place interesting? I feel bored with life, with people, I can’t find anything worthy of my attention for I have lost my path and understanding;

(05-28-2018, 04:52 PM)DVA Wrote: - second one: If someone can share their experience; is there a way of finding a way out of endless negativity and finally reaching a least a partial comprehension of my life purpose?

(05-28-2018, 04:52 PM)DVA Wrote: Hello there!

I have been looking for some answers, hopefully I can find some here.

I believe I am a wanderer but with negative polarization. Don’t remember if I ever felt love towards humanity, have always been struggling to find the reason I have incarnated and have always been trying to find an outlet for my resentment towards myself for my choice to come here.

I have two main questions for those who probably experienced or experience something similar:
- first one: WHY? Why would anyone with the highly developed mind find this place interesting? I feel bored with life, with people, I can’t find anything worthy of my attention for I have lost my path and understanding;
- second one: If someone can share their experience; is there a way of finding a way out of endless negativity and finally reaching a least a partial comprehension of my life purpose?

(05-28-2018, 09:41 PM)JJCarsonian Wrote: You sound like a friend of mine.  Do you place Overwatch?  DVA is a character in OW ..

(05-28-2018, 09:41 PM)JJCarsonian Wrote: I have questions for you:
1) How was your upbringing? were you surrounded by loving parents? or experiencef alot of negativity growing up?
2) Tell me about yourself?  Are you an extremely selfish person?  Do you look at every situation from a "How can this benefit me" POV?  The true mark of a negative person is someone who is extremely selfish and constantly manipulating others to get what they want.. Is this your personality?  Is this who you are?

(05-29-2018, 12:46 AM)GentleReckoning Wrote: I was negative for a while. If you are not encountering the reverse arguments of all your dreams and desires, then you are not in negative sixth density. It sounds like you're more in negative 4th. This would be where you subconsciously remove energy from the existing systems as you feel they don't support meaningful existence from your point of view.

The advice so far is good. Simply express negative emotions through the improvement of your body and environment, and allow love to arise (this burns through the repressed self-hate present as the collective constantly creates more catalyst for itself than it can process, leading to the body's subconscious desire for death and destruction). The fabric of this reality is quite glorious, but the reasons for why things are the way they are is highly convoluted, and meaning can be lost. Without meaning, the desire to destroy that which lacks meaning may strongly manifest.

(05-28-2018, 09:45 PM)Infinite Unity Wrote: I experienced that same lethargy about life myself, and had many years of anger and self sympathy
Which leads to massive blockages. It's taken many years to reverse and unblock those. I bet if you started growing some plants and start caring about your diet. You would notice a small change. Seriously try growing some plants.

(05-28-2018, 06:44 PM)Elros Wrote:

(05-28-2018, 04:52 PM)DVA Wrote: - first one: WHY? Why would anyone with the highly developed mind find this place interesting? I feel bored with life, with people, I can’t find anything worthy of my attention for I have lost my path and understanding;

The opportunity for catalyst found here is quite great due to the nature of the veil and everyone is somewhat allowed to find their right environment for what they seek to experience.

(05-28-2018, 04:52 PM)DVA Wrote: - second one: If someone can share their experience; is there a way of finding a way out of endless negativity and finally reaching a least a partial comprehension of my life purpose?

The nexus of a sincere choice, which also answers your first question.

Acceptance is key, you don't need to process all that negativity in one go but it is well to accept the part of you it is and thus lessen your need to look at it whole so much.

(05-29-2018, 03:59 AM)yossarian Wrote: You say you are bored, then you say you're enraged, then you say you love nature, then you say you're bored again.

Rage and love aren't boredom. You can't be bored and enraged at the same time.

You ask why you exist here. Safe bet it has to do with rage and boredom. They are both part of your catalyst.

Maybe your lesson is to learn to amuse yourself. If you were omnipotent, what amusement would you construct for yourself?

(05-29-2018, 03:28 AM)DVA Wrote:

(05-28-2018, 06:44 PM)Elros Wrote:

(05-28-2018, 04:52 PM)DVA Wrote: - first one: WHY? Why would anyone with the highly developed mind find this place interesting? I feel bored with life, with people, I can’t find anything worthy of my attention for I have lost my path and understanding;

The opportunity for catalyst found here is quite great due to the nature of the veil and everyone is somewhat allowed to find their right environment for what they seek to experience.

(05-28-2018, 04:52 PM)DVA Wrote: - second one: If someone can share their experience; is there a way of finding a way out of endless negativity and finally reaching a least a partial comprehension of my life purpose?

The nexus of a sincere choice, which also answers your first question.

Acceptance is key, you don't need to process all that negativity in one go but it is well to accept the part of you it is and thus lessen your need to look at it whole so much.

I try to work with this, with my negativity, psychologically. I try to understand and free myself from it for it hinders me a lot. Sometimes I am caught in rage of such intensity I feel I start shaking. This is usually connected with social situation I find myself in.

But the main issue: I feel boredom. How can I benefit from people and experiences I find useless mostly?

(05-29-2018, 03:19 AM)DVA Wrote: I don’t express my negativity in a way I need to. I don’t need physical expression but a verbal one, but my physical environment doesn’t let me dive into this properly.
That is I why I dissociate severely. This is also called maladaptive daydreaming. I spend a lot of time in my imagination exercising it and working out that which I cannot work out physically. When I am stressed out or feel trapped in physicality I struggle to stay focus socially 90% of my time. This doesn’t hinder my physical and social development, though. But I mostly feel unsatisfied for I cannot express that which I want in 3D… And therefore I don’t understand why would a soul want to experience limitations like this?

(05-29-2018, 03:01 AM)DVA Wrote: What is the difference between a wanderer and a negative soul? Probably I use the term incorrectly, for I have come across this recently. But I have always tried to give it a name somehow, I have read about old souls, Lightworkers and such, but this didn’t help a lot. I follow the Mercury Light mediumship group; once I asked their Spirit Group if there is a possibility a soul regrets coming here. They replied it happens and described something similar to a wanderer with the possibility of being born handicapped let alone mental severe disorientation.

(05-29-2018, 03:01 AM)DVA Wrote: 1. Physically my childhood was good, I had enough and was not neglected. But mentally it was not, I didn’t receive as much love as I needed as a child. My parents were not able to reveal my character virtues, I always felt I knew the truth and wisdom but was considered “not ok” and “a difficult child” for confronting social norms and inability to conform to authority and rules.
2. I am not that selfish. I don’t use psychological manipulations because I don’t care much about the outcome, physical life seems unnecessary and boring. My main issue is that I live two separate lives: the one being physical/social one and the second one being mental. I cannot merge the two. Sometimes I got caught in social construct and I then feel I am drowning in absolutely useless time-consuming trifles like work, small talks and everyday experience. This is what I feel mentally. But physically I am very tough and power-career-oriented person: this is what I am on the outside for the sake of playing this game of life.

But I don’t see how can I find my true path if I always feel I shouldn’t be here?

(05-29-2018, 12:17 PM)Louisabell Wrote: Hello. This passage is very interesting and could point to you being a wanderer of a higher density. May I ask what the nature of your daydreaming is? Such as, what is it that you want to express that you can't in 3D?

Also, can you express universal love? Maybe this is a silly question because you said you were negative. I know it sounds a bit cliche, but in my experience, I got a lot of relief from the boredom of life's trivialities by being able to radiate love/light. That way when I do small talk I can also do energy work. Before that I was more inclined to start playing with people's minds (boredom can lead to some wicked things).

(05-28-2018, 04:52 PM)DVA Wrote: - second one: If someone can share their experience; is there a way of finding a way out of endless negativity and finally reaching a least a partial comprehension of my life purpose?

(05-29-2018, 03:40 PM)DVA Wrote: My daydreaming consists of different scenarios I experience in my imagination which are usually triggered by dreams. I “see” different people with different lives, very specific characters whom I know, as it seems sometimes, much better than people around me because I feel them and their emotions through my own self. These differ and depend on my state of mind and being at the time this happens. Sometimes it doesn’t feel appealing to daydream, I don’t use my imagination in this way then; but in some time something can trigger deep immersion I then experience for days.

Very often I long for these people, they feel close. They can lift me up or drag me down, depends on a type of scenes I observe. For my aggression I have a very specific character I once saw in a dream. Very powerful type who helps me to express my violence and rage out through scenes I see him participating which let me feel that which I need to release resistance and achieve some kind of relief.

(05-29-2018, 03:40 PM)DVA Wrote: Have always wanted to experience universal, unconditional love. I have experienced very brief moments of that… Pure emotion sweeping away any doubts, penetrating my mind with knowledge of innate wisdom and certainty that everything is always well. I am not able to get anything like this at times I want.

Are you able to produce this emotion by your own will? Or do you sooth yourself into it by saying something specific which helps to develop this feeling?

(05-30-2018, 01:31 AM)Louisabell Wrote: I wish you all the best on your journey!  

(05-30-2018, 01:31 AM)Louisabell Wrote: This to me sounds like you have some residual memory of living in a group dynamic that is a lot more harmonious and supportive. It also appears to me that you have a lot of potential as you recognize these higher virtues, and are desirous of being able to express them in 3D reality. Obviously the limitations of this experience are understandably difficult, but in general, limitations that are overcome tend to make one stronger, more disciplined, more inventive, etc. Therefore I see great opportunity in wanderin', not to say I find it easy.

(05-30-2018, 01:31 AM)Louisabell Wrote: I have found the progression to yield exponential results, therefore the beginning starts pretty slow, but it gets easier as time goes on. I started by just making truth and universal love as values that supersede my personal comfort, then opportunities were presented to aid in my healing. It didn't always look positive on the outset, for example I spent quite some time watching YouTube videos on narcissism, especially hearing people's personal accounts of how they had been victimized by this personality structure. I started seeing narcissism everywhere, including in myself. It would seem that I was getting immersed into a pattern of blame and hate, but actually I was just processing and detoxing my confusion, anger and disgust at certain aspects of the human condition. When you accept it with understanding as a potential within yourself, you accept its existence in the world, and you essentially free-up that energy that was being used to push back against it.

(05-30-2018, 01:31 AM)Louisabell Wrote: In my experience, the feeling of universal love is the default setting of consciousness. Therefore I do not will myself to feel universal love. It would be more accurate to say that I will myself on a pretty consistent basis to ignore distractions, and then unblock and balance the lower triad of energy centres so that vital energy can freely flow into the higher energy centres.

(05-29-2018, 04:25 PM)Sprout Wrote: Find what brings you joy, bliss, peace, amusement and just go along with it. If you notice that your heart is dancing along with you then dance you should. And once you do all spirits around you will dance too and soon enough life for you is all about that one thing/activity and who knows what you become? Drop your worries if polarity worries you, it's a work in progress rather than a fixed bais. You don't need to do what is expected of you in order to shine, you are the creator, you are the creation, and all is well.

(05-29-2018, 03:20 AM)DVA Wrote: I love nature and animals. But when I do what I love I usually think “what is the point of this?”
Have you found your true purpose and reason you have come here?

(05-30-2018, 03:53 AM)DVA Wrote:

(05-29-2018, 04:25 PM)Sprout Wrote: Find what brings you joy, bliss, peace, amusement and just go along with it. If you notice that your heart is dancing along with you then dance you should. And once you do all spirits around you will dance too and soon enough life for you is all about that one thing/activity and who knows what you become? Drop your worries if polarity worries you, it's a work in progress rather than a fixed bais. You don't need to do what is expected of you in order to shine, you are the creator, you are the creation, and all is well.

Sounds nice and inspiring… What if my desirable plane of existence is silence, peace and light, but nothing connected with physical 3D life?


I believe my judgment is corrupted; for some reason I cannot find anything like this in 3D.

Quote:74.16 Questioner: I will make an analogy to the loudness of ringing of the telephone in using the ritual as the efficiency of the practitioners using the ritual. Now, I see several things affecting the efficiency of the ritual: first, the desire of the practitioners to serve, their ability to invoke the magical personality, their ability to visualize while performing the ritual, and let me ask you as to the relative importance of those items and how each may be intensified?

Ra: I am Ra. This query borders upon over-specificity. It is most important for the adept to feel its own growth as teach/learner.

Quote:10.14 Questioner: For general development [of the] reader of this book, could you state some of the practices or exercises to perform to produce an acceleration toward the Law of One?

Ra: I am Ra.

Exercise One. This is the most nearly centered and usable within your illusion complex. The moment contains love. That is the lesson/goal of this illusion or density. The exercise is to consciously seek that love in awareness and understanding distortions. The first attempt is the cornerstone. Upon this choosing rests the remainder of the life-experience of an entity. The second seeking of love within the moment begins the addition. The third seeking powers the second, the fourth powering or doubling the third. As with the previous type of empowerment, there will be some loss of power due to flaws within the seeking in the distortion of insincerity. However, the conscious statement of self to self of the desire to seek love is so central an act of will that, as before, the loss of power due to this friction is inconsequential.

Exercise Two. The universe is one being. When a mind/body/spirit complex views another mind/body/spirit complex, see the Creator. This is an helpful exercise.

Exercise Three. Gaze within a mirror. See the Creator.

Exercise Four. Gaze at the creation which lies about the mind/body/spirit complex of each entity. See the Creator.

The foundation or prerequisite of these exercises is a predilection towards what may be called meditation, contemplation, or prayer. With this attitude, these exercises can be processed. Without it, the data will not sink down into the roots of the tree of mind, thus enabling and ennobling the body and touching the spirit.

Quote:66.12 Questioner: Could you tell me the other ways that the entity could seek healing?

Ra: I am Ra. Perhaps the greatest healer is within the self and may be tapped with continued meditation as we have suggested.

(05-30-2018, 08:20 AM)Sprout Wrote: Further more I felt that this paragraph may help. You may feel stagnated or bored because you don't feel growth as an adept.

(05-30-2018, 05:22 PM)DVA Wrote:

(05-30-2018, 08:20 AM)Sprout Wrote: Further more I felt that this paragraph may help. You may feel stagnated or bored because you don't feel growth as an adept.

Very well put, these words resonated with me, thank you.

The lack of growth bothers me a lot. Since my external reality doesn’t change, I tend to think I am not developing within otherwise I would see the changes…

All exercises I use don’t bring easiness for I try to use them to solve this issue.  

(05-30-2018, 06:12 AM)Cainite Wrote:

(05-29-2018, 03:20 AM)DVA Wrote: I love nature and animals. But when I do what I love I usually think “what is the point of this?”
Have you found your true purpose and reason you have come here?

There's no point except the benefits. and the fact that you can enjoy spending time with them and feel less bored.
My male cat really likes me and avoids everyone else. animals like him can help provide you with oppertunities to learn how to accept love. and they receive your love very well too. I also learn meditation from him. at times I try to tune into his beautiful bliss when he meditates.

Plus he has a major role in my mental/emotional wellness.

Basically a loving relationship with animals and nature can help your orange and red ray chakras.

(05-30-2018, 05:35 PM)Elros Wrote:

(05-30-2018, 05:22 PM)DVA Wrote:

(05-30-2018, 08:20 AM)Sprout Wrote: Further more I felt that this paragraph may help. You may feel stagnated or bored because you don't feel growth as an adept.

Very well put, these words resonated with me, thank you.

The lack of growth bothers me a lot. Since my external reality doesn’t change, I tend to think I am not developing within otherwise I would see the changes…

All exercises I use don’t bring easiness for I try to use them to solve this issue.  

Sounds like a need for control, otherwise you would not require to see change occur without.

(05-28-2018, 04:52 PM)DVA Wrote: I believe I am a wanderer but with negative polarization.

Quote:Don’t remember if I ever felt love towards humanity, have always been struggling to find the reason I have incarnated and have always been trying to find an outlet for my resentment towards myself for my choice to come here.

(06-17-2018, 12:10 AM)Terraformer Wrote: I feel for you!!!......and I'm not being factious, I really do!  You wanted to know of similar stories?   I have one for you....My first incarnation was so traumatic, it took several thousand years to heal from that, then incarnation after incarnation I died very young.  This life has given me the catalysts I needed to toughen up and wake up, but before I woke up I was completely and utterly fed up with mankind.  Then I could have cared less about what happened to humanity.  This life gave me nothing but grief.  I was told I started out as a very happy child.  If it wasn't for my grandmother showing me what real love is, this life would have beaten it out of me.  Instead that spark of love remained.  It was that spark, an being an intuitive empsth where I could occasionally hear comforting thoughts from an unseen protector that helped me wake up.

My whole out looked has changed, now I have allowed my consciousness join with others in serving others in service of the one Infinite Creator.  I don't feel that loneliness or fear any more.  Even if the others in the consciousness complex of light and love don't know me personally or in person, they know me when my consciousness arrives.  

I am a fourth density wanderer.  That is the density of undrrstanding, and when I went inside and found that understanding I needed, I went through a spell of glimpsing what Ra's group must feel.  They say they are of sorrow.  I felt that sorrow toward mankind.  I knew most would not be ready for harvest if we don't help.

We are humble servants of the One Infinite Creator.  We are also 'a horse of a different color'!!!  We Wanderers are incarnated with thinner veils than most.  You might say we are thin skinned, but on the inside!  Life has kicked our behinds.  We've experienced what others will have to go through again if they don't graduate to 4th density.   Once I remember who I was and what I came here to do, all it took was a few minutes a day to meditate, and whamo!!!!!!   That veil started getting thinner and thinner!  All Idid was the wanting to project tthe power of the consciousness out to those seeking, those who were beginning to stir awake, and to Gia, to give Earth more strength and stability to transition into 4th density........The top of my head tingles and I can actually feel an invisible hTerraformer, every joint up and down my spine tingles, and whamo!!!!.....The Love and Light passes through me, out, up, and engulfs everything!  Would I go back to the way I was?.......No way!  This is too cool!  I'm more alive than I've ever been, and so happy I can be of service to others.

I don't want to infringe on your free will at all, but you did ask if others felt similar.  Yes....I have, but once I found out  I didn't have to set by and just watch this illusion of a world go down the toilet and me along with it,........It has changed my whole life!

The One Infinite Creator has provided the power to change life here on this third density planets, through us as  instruments of broadcasting that power.  Each of us is a tower to broadcast that power.  I do wish I could peel the veil from my eyes and see the colors as that power broadcasts.  It must be amazing!  Every color in the rainbow I imagine.

Hope this helps.  In service to all, in service to the One Infinite Creator
Terraformer