(04-19-2019, 07:08 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: Thanks for your input loostudent. When I say "Futility" I'm talking about some things you can never change. Maybe it's not futile to have my romantic and social needs met, but I'm having to accept the futility of ever getting my friend back. Call it black and white, but what shade of gray is there? There doesn't seem to be any hope she'll ever come around in the future, and that's painful, but maybe I won't be so depressed if I can come to terms with it and learn to accept it, rather than telling myself "I have to be able to convince my friend! I need reconciliation! I need to believe there's still hope!" you know what I mean?

Still, comparing myself to myself yesterday and not people doing better than me is probably really good advice.

(04-19-2019, 07:08 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: Thanks for your input loostudent. When I say "Futility" I'm talking about some things you can never change. Maybe it's not futile to have my romantic and social needs met, but I'm having to accept the futility of ever getting my friend back. Call it black and white, but what shade of gray is there? There doesn't seem to be any hope she'll ever come around in the future, and that's painful, but maybe I won't be so depressed if I can come to terms with it and learn to accept it, rather than telling myself "I have to be able to convince my friend! I need reconciliation! I need to believe there's still hope!" you know what I mean?

Still, comparing myself to myself yesterday and not people doing better than me is probably really good advice.

Quote:Imagine that you are thinking, enviously, “I should have my boss’s job.” If your boss sticks to his post, stubbornly and competently, thoughts like that will lead you into in a state of irritation, unhappiness and disgust. You might realize this. You think, “I am unhappy. However, I could be cured of this unhappiness if I could just fulfill my ambition.” But then you might think further. “Wait,” you think. “Maybe I’m not unhappy because I don’t have my boss’s job. Maybe I’m unhappy because I can’t stop wanting that job.” That doesn’t mean you can just simply and magically tell yourself to stop wanting that job, and then listen and transform. You won’t—can’t, in fact—just change yourself that easily. You have to dig deeper. You must change what you are after more profoundly.

So, you might think, “I don’t know what to do about this stupid suffering. I can’t just abandon my ambitions. That would leave me nowhere to go. But my longing for a job that I can’t have isn’t working.” You might decide to take a different tack. You might ask, instead, for the revelation of a different plan: one that would fulfill your desires and gratify your ambitions in a real sense, but that would remove from your life the bitterness and resentment with which you are currently affected. You might think, “I will make a different plan. I will try to want whatever it is that would make my life better —whatever that might be—and I will start working on it now. If that turns out to mean something other than chasing my boss’s job, I will accept that and I will move forward.”

Now you’re on a whole different kind of trajectory. Before, what was right, desirable, and worthy of pursuit was something narrow and concrete. But you became stuck there, tightly jammed and unhappy. So you let go. You make the necessary sacrifice, and allow a whole new world of possibility, hidden from you because of your previous ambition, to reveal itself. And there’s a lot there. What would your life look like, if it were better? What would Life Itself look like? What does “better” even mean? You don’t know. And it doesn’t matter that you don’t know, exactly, right away, because you will start to slowly see what is “better,” once you have truly decided to want it. You will start to perceive what remained hidden from you by your presuppositions and preconceptions—by the previous mechanisms of your vision. You will begin to learn.

This will only work, however, if you genuinely want your life to improve. You can’t fool your implicit perceptual structures. Not even a bit. They aim where you point them. To retool, to take stock, to aim somewhere better, you have to think it through, bottom to top. You have to scour your psyche. You have to clean the damned thing up. And you must be cautious, because making your life better means adopting a lot of responsibility, and that takes more effort and care than living stupidly in pain and remaining arrogant, deceitful and resentful.

(04-19-2019, 07:31 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: Yeah, thanks Ixchel. I'm trying to raise my frequency, to heal and to improve my life circumstances, slowly but surely. I think loneliness is a key aspect of my life I really need to work on. Maybe once I get a job as a teacher's assistant, I'll start making friends with coworkers and feel less lonely.

(04-30-2019, 03:50 AM)RitaJC Wrote:

(04-19-2019, 07:31 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: Yeah, thanks Ixchel. I'm trying to raise my frequency, to heal and to improve my life circumstances, slowly but surely. I think loneliness is a key aspect of my life I really need to work on. Maybe once I get a job as a teacher's assistant, I'll start making friends with coworkers and feel less lonely.

I believe there is a huge confusion: dealing with the feeling of loneliness which is fed by our mis-identification and mis-interpretation of our past experience comes first. Only after we have discovered our true Self (Creator) and become able to live from that infinite abundance (of Unconditional Love) that we have never ceased to bee we can be a true friend to somebody. Before that, the attempts to meet our inner needs by somebody else (friends) makes us clingy and (unconsciously) abusive -> the other has to abandon us to survive.

(04-30-2019, 04:34 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: So how does one deal with loneliness in your opinion?

(04-30-2019, 08:26 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: So how do I get to that point?

(04-30-2019, 08:26 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: So how do I get to that point?

(04-30-2019, 09:43 PM)Minyatur Wrote: Sometimes I even find the Earth and people so heavy I feel like after dying I should find a pocket dimension and spend an eon alone to rejuvenate lol.

(05-01-2019, 01:04 AM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: Hmm. I have a hard time accepting loneliness. I don't like being lonely and it's a feeling I would like to overcome.

(04-19-2019, 07:31 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: Yeah, thanks Ixchel. I'm trying to raise my frequency, to heal and to improve my life circumstances, slowly but surely. I think loneliness is a key aspect of my life I really need to work on. Maybe once I get a job as a teacher's assistant, I'll start making friends with coworkers and feel less lonely.

(05-01-2019, 03:33 AM)speedforce131 Wrote:

(05-01-2019, 01:04 AM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: Hmm. I have a hard time accepting loneliness. I don't like being lonely and it's a feeling I would like to overcome.

As the Confederation entities say, there is no overcoming. If you keep things as they are, it will fester until it becomes toxic. Btw, I'm not lonely anymore. Still no partner but not lonely anymore.

(05-01-2019, 01:04 AM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: Hmm. I have a hard time accepting loneliness. I don't like being lonely and it's a feeling I would like to overcome.

(04-30-2019, 09:43 PM)Minyatur Wrote:

(04-30-2019, 08:26 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: So how do I get to that point?

I don't remember struggling with loneliness much, so I can't share my own working with that, but I think it boils down to inner balance and at some point everything can be seen as a variation of the same. Sometimes I even find the Earth and people so heavy I feel like after dying I should find a pocket dimension and spend an eon alone to rejuvenate lol. Kind of an ephemeral wish though, because some things are really heavy and it is easy to feel overwhelmed, but others are a true gift we should appreciate.

Meditate on the feeling and dive into it, deeper and deeper, and find the root of this helplessness and console it yourself. I think that is a bit how it works for each thing, to feel complete on anything you need to become what fills the hole, instead of seeking something external to fill it. Maybe there are many things, insecurities, self-judgment and so on, but like Rita said you can always touch within yourself a truly unconditional love that will not judge and instead make to feel whole what feels unwhole. If a part of you feels like it's not enough, you tell it yourself that it is and that it can do good and grow and become what it wants.

It may sound stupid, but I've done many solo psychedelic trips where it opened me in a way I had nothing other to do than work like this and it brought me to myriads of moments of my life where parts of myself where shutdown. It made it easy for me because I was like the contrasting vibe, like I'd feel old insecurities and it just warmed my heart like "Oh gosh! no don't think like that, you are so wonderful, you didn't have to see it like that, etc". It may help to try to remind yourself how you were younger and superpose the difference in energy, to remind yourself what your innate potential was. I don't really think how I feel over loneliness is that good, because in a salvia trip I saw a moment near my birth and an attempt to reach out to a nurse to be ignored and I felt deeply from my blue ray and down a huge shutdown and a strong "I don't want to need others" vibe, I saw that as my deepest blockage and the vibe I had right before that instant was so very pure and innocent. I still have a lot to do to recover what I initially had to offer to this world, but the process is in progress. Believing in yourself is the best way forward.

It sounds easy in words, but it is extremely deep work and I think it is better to see it as an on-going process. As we exchange with others, we absorb part of their energy and so also their insecurities and so on. There's always things to work upon, but we can take a liking to it if we become able to see the love found in each thing.

You'll better handle loneliness I think if you see its beauty, be proud of what you are. If not now, trust me that at some point you will.

(04-30-2019, 10:23 PM)speedforce131 Wrote:

(04-30-2019, 08:26 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: So how do I get to that point?

I've lived an entire life of loneliness. I survived it and I'm still here. I've learned to immerse myself among people whether they are personal contacts or not. Anonymous people count too. Furthermore, you are always around people when you go out into public. You may not be with anyone specifically, but if you absorb the environment you can see and hear all sorts of stories going on. Realize that life is more vibrant around you then you might think. You can also share in other people's lives online. A lot of people vlog on all kinds of topics and you can follow them to see what they're doing next. They typically have communities around them that you can comment with. Let go of the idea of people following you and expecting likes or replies. Just be online and be with people. Like, don't just read a tweet or watch a video but comment and offer your input. Be a part of the community.

When you live a life of loneliness, you have to accept that loneliness. Out of my own life, I can say that what led to my loneliness was that I felt rejected by the employment system, I did not have many opportunities to proceed with my chosen profession, and so I chose to work at home. This choice to work at home crippled me financially and I have been for 10 going on 11 years. Because of that, I've lost the opportunity to meet with new people, via a variety of paths whether it be other people at work, people who I share my hobby with, and so on so forth.

Going this path has also deteriorated my health. My teeth are in extremely bad shape and it's disfigurement is a visible deterrent to anyone who sees me. I've also gained a lot of weight in that time and it's been a struggle to get it off. As you can imagine, I cannot attract any sort of mate and have not ever had one. I am 35 years old.

I've come to a point where I accept everything that has happened to me and everything that I am as a result of the past. It's helped me to forgive myself for everything that's happened whether it was in my control or out of my control. What's left today is a very wise and knowledgeable person with a wealth of lessons at my beck and call. These lessons will help me recover from being down and out. At one point, I really was almost down and out. I suffered from psychotic depression due to the overuse use of remote viewing. That experience in itself forced me to heal in a way that involved others, acknowledging & accepting of the self, and being realistic with life. I was able to love others more intensely after that.

Throughout it all, you have to have hope for the future. There is an open path to your ideal life but you must acknowledge what's blocking you, acknowledge your role in it, then plan your way out of it. Don't just give up. No matter how hard it is.

(04-30-2019, 09:43 PM)Minyatur Wrote: Sometimes I even find the Earth and people so heavy I feel like after dying I should find a pocket dimension and spend an eon alone to rejuvenate lol.

If you've ever read Between Death and Life: Conversations with Spirit by Dolores Cannon, the higher self actually reported on such a place. You wouldn't be there for an eon, but you do go into your own space to heal. This is for people who've endured very difficult lives though.

(04-19-2021, 08:13 AM)Ymarsakar Wrote: As for friends, you can reconcile in the astral even if you never do on earth.

(04-19-2021, 11:06 AM)sillypumpkins Wrote: I know this thread is kinda old but I’ve been thinking about loneliness in terms of my own life lately and wanted to share.

From a young age, I felt a profound and utter alienation from those around me. I had parents but..... they may as well have not been there, cause the love they were able to express to themselves and thus to me) was basically nill. At least that’s how it felt as a kid.

So here I am, almost 23, and I still struggle with this feeling of being completely alone, with no home to go to, wandering this world like a motherless child. And this feeling isn’t helped by surrounding myself with people, it might help for a second, but the feeling remains. In other words, it’s been a theme in my life.

Lately I’ve been wondering, what is the meaning behind this wound? What can it teach me?

Well..... I’ve come to realize, we really are alone. On our respective spiritual paths I mean. At least that’s how I look at it. We can’t rely on others to do the work for us, I can’t expect to learn anything when I’m always using things or people as ways to escape this reality.

So.... what I’m beginning to see, is that though the depth of this pain can be great, that depth is also directly correlated to my understanding of this truth, the truth that we are here to do the work on our own. It’s like two sides of a coin.

(04-19-2021, 11:31 AM)Ymarsakar Wrote: Once you can re integrate your fragments and lost child self, your isolation will ease in emotion.

The great chain of yourself. The 23 yo helping the 20 yo, helping the 13 yo version of yourself.

(04-19-2021, 08:13 AM)Ymarsakar Wrote:

(04-30-2019, 10:23 PM)speedforce131 Wrote:

(04-30-2019, 08:26 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: So how do I get to that point?

I've lived an entire life of loneliness. I survived it and I'm still here. I've learned to immerse myself among people whether they are personal contacts or not. Anonymous people count too. Furthermore, you are always around people when you go out into public. You may not be with anyone specifically, but if you absorb the environment you can see and hear all sorts of stories going on. Realize that life is more vibrant around you then you might think. You can also share in other people's lives online. A lot of people vlog on all kinds of topics and you can follow them to see what they're doing next. They typically have communities around them that you can comment with. Let go of the idea of people following you and expecting likes or replies. Just be online and be with people. Like, don't just read a tweet or watch a video but comment and offer your input. Be a part of the community.

When you live a life of loneliness, you have to accept that loneliness. Out of my own life, I can say that what led to my loneliness was that I felt rejected by the employment system, I did not have many opportunities to proceed with my chosen profession, and so I chose to work at home. This choice to work at home crippled me financially and I have been for 10 going on 11 years. Because of that, I've lost the opportunity to meet with new people, via a variety of paths whether it be other people at work, people who I share my hobby with, and so on so forth.

Going this path has also deteriorated my health. My teeth are in extremely bad shape and it's disfigurement is a visible deterrent to anyone who sees me. I've also gained a lot of weight in that time and it's been a struggle to get it off. As you can imagine, I cannot attract any sort of mate and have not ever had one. I am 35 years old.

I've come to a point where I accept everything that has happened to me and everything that I am as a result of the past. It's helped me to forgive myself for everything that's happened whether it was in my control or out of my control. What's left today is a very wise and knowledgeable person with a wealth of lessons at my beck and call. These lessons will help me recover from being down and out. At one point, I really was almost down and out. I suffered from psychotic depression due to the overuse use of remote viewing. That experience in itself forced me to heal in a way that involved others, acknowledging & accepting of the self, and being realistic with life. I was able to love others more intensely after that.

Throughout it all, you have to have hope for the future. There is an open path to your ideal life but you must acknowledge what's blocking you, acknowledge your role in it, then plan your way out of it. Don't just give up. No matter how hard it is.

(04-30-2019, 09:43 PM)Minyatur Wrote: Sometimes I even find the Earth and people so heavy I feel like after dying I should find a pocket dimension and spend an eon alone to rejuvenate lol.

If you've ever read Between Death and Life: Conversations with Spirit by Dolores Cannon, the higher self actually reported on such a place. You wouldn't be there for an eon, but you do go into your own space to heal. This is for people who've endured very difficult lives though.

That was an excellent heart centered action of compassion. Sorry i did not get here before the system banned you. I trust you will be called to help others as you score quite highly.


In general, fate cannot be changed. Free will allows you to make it easier or harder however.

As for friends, you can reconcile in the astral even if you never do on earth.

As for life, the path your higher self set is likely not what 3rd density would call successful. It is quite peculiar.

For me, i only needed to serve through my saturn mahadasha. Basically survive long enough and it changes.

(04-19-2021, 01:14 PM)Ymarsakar Wrote: I used to be quite embarassed at my younger selves.

After some integration i was able to recover them and even laugh at these experiences.

I was recovering parts of my power.

Yes other people have their own trials and tribulations. It is not always necessary to fix them to fix yourself.

In my experience, people have had a change of heart because i did something in the astral, said a prayer, or authorized an intervention. They looked far less tormented and the lower emotions had less hold of them. Not an auto fix but better than it was when i first saw them. A tangle of fears, stress, and instability