(05-27-2019, 11:52 AM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: So I was on another forum and I told somebody not to judge his GF just because she's at a low point.

Among his responses, he had this to say:

"Another thing which I did notice which I do want to make sure you avoid. Don't fall for the societal lie of "don't judge". I want you to do something the next time you see someone that you know subscribes this type of thinking. See if what they do to someone they meet who constantly lies or treats them badly. You'll notice right away that they will judge that person as not a good person and refuse to hang around that person. The point of all this is that they don't fully follow their own rules. I find that those people generally like saying "don't judge" so they don't get called out on their own lack of progress or misdeeds but as soon as it suits them they will then go on to judge others because its to their benefit. Judging is an aspect of life. People need to judge in order to determine things like, "is this person trustworthy? Is he a rat? Do I want to associate with this person? What is their character like?". What people should really say is "Don't judge unfairly or without good knowledge of the situation or person involved". That would be a much better thing to say. I only bring this up since this is one of those lies society, mostly people not going anywhere in life, try to sell us. Hell, they might try to sell it to you so you too will just live and accept mediocre in your life."

And I responded thus:

"When I say "don't judge" this person, it's because my time at rock bottom has taught me compassion for people at their lowest. I'm not saying you can't disapprove of misdeeds by people, but the fact of the matter is unless you ARE that person, you CAN'T really judge them fairly for their lowest points in life, because you're not them and you don't know what it's like to be them. It doesn't mean you have to put up with shitty behaviour, it just means that they are always worthy of your love and respect, even at their lowest. That there's more to them than their worst. IT's easy to argue for judging people when you come from a place of strength, but that's the weakness of strength: a lack of compassion for people at their weakest.

I've made some pretty terrible mistakes, but unless you've BEEN me, experienced what I've experienced, felt what I've felt, suffered what I've suffered and been through what I've been through, you wouldn't truly understand those mistakes I've made. Not really. And you wouldn't truly understand me. You could judge me, but not fairly, because you have no true understanding of what it was like on my end when making those mistakes. That doesn't mean to approve of what I did, but unless you were in the driver's seat, you can't understand those mistakes. If you did, you would have nothing but compassion and forgiveness and understanding for others who make those mistakes as well, or you would punish yourself for those mistakes without end. I know this because that is what I do t myself unless I can see myself with love and compassion and forgiveness. We all make mistakes. To error is human. I try not to judge people for their worst mistakes anymore because I've MADE terrible mistakes and if I'm to be judged for those mistakes, I honestly don't think I deserve to live. It doesn't mean put up with shitty treatment from people, but just not to judge them for it, because it's easy to judge when it's not you making the mistakes.

I can tell from the things you're saying that you've never hit rock bottom before and been at a truly low point in your life, but you don't know what experiences could drive you to become like that yourself, and one lifetime, you may find yourself having just those experiences. I used to look down on people who've made the same mistakes I've made... until I made them myself, which I never thought myself capable of. It's easy to judge from a place of strength. It's easy to look down on somebody when you're at a high point. Only when you've MADE the mistakes yourself, and had to forgive and love yourself, do you come to learn how worthy of compassion and forgiveness somebody else at their lowest is.

I've seen the video (There was a video he recommended I watch regarding master and slave morality) I still stand by what I've said. It's easy to look down on someone until you've hit rock bottom yourself. It doesn't mean I don't want to take responsibility for the mistakes I've made, but it does mean I am learning to have compassion for myself for making them."


What do you think on the matter? Should we judge people for their mistakes? Do we truly HAVE To judge them in order to not allow for negative treatment? Is it possible to not put up with bad treatment but still have compassion and love for the person doing the mistreating? Tell me your opinions.