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6th density wanderer lessons - Ray711 - 06-17-2019

Ra states that most wanderers come from the 6th density, and that their lessons often revolve around learning the lessons of love in order to balance it with wisdom. I think it'd be interesting to use this thread for us to talk about possible lessons, catalysts and incarnational patterns involving this particular balance between love and wisdom, and other possible lessons involving the idea of 6h density oneness. What have your experiences in life been with this?

For me, even many years before getting into The Law of One or spirituality, the notion of finding balance between opposites was something that deeply attracted me. I became interested in Jung's work on personality types, and although he had different opinions on the idea of this so-called balance, striking that fine middle point between feeling and thinking was something that fascinated me. As much as possible in life I try to approach situations using both aspects, analyzing with the intellectual mind the situation as analytically and objectively as possible, and being mindful of any possible biases of my own that may get in the way of the truth, while at the same time accepting and honoring with the greatest respect any feelings that pop up either in myself or the other person, and then acting upon them if appropriate.

Sexual identity and gender roles play heavily into this, I find. As a physical male, I've never really fully identified with the archetype of masculinity, but not with femininity either. I see myself as more feminine in some aspects, more masculine in others, although it is possible that my core motivations in life make me lean slightly more towards femininity, in the sense that I see feelings, the emotional aspect and spirituality (the feminine) as the true driving force of life, whereas wisdom and rationality, while great tools, are just that; tools, not something to actually live and die for.

Life has also thrown at me catalyst that has allowed me to tap into the shadow. I have direct experience of what it is to experience bitterness and resentment towards existence itself, and I'm aware of how easily it would have been to give in to that side and fall into straight up STS territory. I knew these were things I couldn't just talk about with anybody, as they would be greatly judged, but within the confines of my own mind I never felt very judgmental towards this side of myself. I knew I couldn't feed it or give in to it, but deep down I knew it was something natural and that there was no reason to feel ashamed for it. More recently, when getting into The Law of One and the Quo channelings, I felt instantly attracted to the concepts of unconditional acceptance of the self, shadow integration, and of being the totality and all potentialities of the universe itself. It felt so natural to me, and it really helped me in advancing my knowledge in an area that I already felt an inherent attraction to begin with.

I've never really had any actual experience of confirmation of being a wanderer, but all of these things and the overall trend of attraction towards balance make me think that the probability of being a 6th density wanderer is rather high, if we go by what Ra said. I wonder, though, is there a way of being more sure if one is indeed a wanderer, and of one's origins?

As for lessons, I think recurring catalyst in my life has prompted me to learn how to get out of a strong habit of using the mind and of rationalizing too much, and of realization that indeed, the mind is much less capable of understanding reality than I thought before. I've come to learn great humility in that regard, and to embrace love further as the key to existence.

Please share your experiences. Smile


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - Nau7ik - 06-17-2019

Many wanderers, including myself, discern by symptomology that we are wanderers. I also wish I could more clearly know if I am or not, but I think that’s just the way 3D is. We are veiled and being veiled we don’t know anything absolutely.

Quote:Sexual identity and gender roles play heavily into this, I find. As a physical male, I've never really fully identified with the archetype of masculinity, but not with femininity either. I see myself as more feminine in some aspects, more masculine in others, although it is possible that my core motivations in life make me lean slightly more towards femininity, in the sense that I see feelings, the emotional aspect and spirituality (the feminine) as the true driving force of life, whereas wisdom and rationality, while great tools, are just that; tools, not something to actually live and die for.

I believe this to be indicative of one’s overall balance. An advanced and developed psyche is balanced in its masculine and feminine qualities / energies. The adept is one who is psychically androgynous, meaning that he is a balanced entity, masculine and feminine working harmoniously in one’s being. I was reading a recent Q’uo channeling and Q’uo mentioned “bisexuality,” but it’s not the bisexuality of being attracted to both men and women. It’s a bisexuality that is equally balanced male/female. (The questioner, however, meant it in terms of sexual attraction which is a misinterpretation.)

Quote:Zachary: Yes, Q’uo. Might bisexuality be a consequence of this balancing of masculine and feminine rising the Kundalini?

Q’uo: I am Q’uo and am aware of your query. My brother, you are once again correct, for as an entity is able to interiorize this process of the balancing of the male and the female qualities within its own being, it is possible either to share these energy exchanges with another, with a mate, shall we say, or to interiorize these balancing of the energies within the self, and become, what you would call the bisexual entity, able to experience certain features of the intelligent energy moving through its own being in a manner which accelerates personal growth through the energy centers, so that eventual unity with the One is achieved. This is done, as you are aware, most usually in the mated relationship, for it is easier, shall we say for entities to utilize the mated relationship in order to process catalyst that each entity encounters in its own daily round of activities.

However, throughout all ages of seeking there have been many who have been able to make use of the balancing of the male and female portions of their own being in a singular sense so that the solitude becomes that which is utilized within the personal seeking of such an entity.

Such a focus on balance and equilibrium, I think, is possibly an indicator of being a 6D Wanderer. Personally I have not found it that difficult to love with an open heart. It seems to come natural for me. The balancing of compassion with wisdom is the catalyst for us. Earth is the perfect place to learn the shadows of wisdom. It is also the perfect place for the opportunity to serve others. How shall we serve? Remember that Ra said that they had made an unfortunate error in judgement with service to our people’s. Even 6D is not perfect and is lacking in some areas of love and wisdom. Incarnating as a wanderer right into the thick of things would be a very excellent means of rectifying that error in judgement / discernment. What had worked for them in their 3D, did not work for humanity. Being a wanderer here can help one to balance their compassion with wisdom. I think we as 6D wanderers are apart of this. I don’t know if I belong to Ra’s group, but my overall focus is on balance and equilibrium of wisdom and compassion.


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - Ray711 - 06-17-2019

(06-17-2019, 08:59 AM)Nau7ik Wrote: The adept is one who is psychically androgynous, meaning that he is a balanced entity, masculine and feminine working harmoniously in one’s being

I wonder what the intricacies of such balance actually entail. Ideally we'd all manifest the positive qualities of both sexes in all facets or areas of life, but obviously in 3rd density that's an impossibility. In my case for example I know I have some kind of blockage when it comes to being generous in regard to physical or material things. Also, the notion of being a provider in a typically masculine way is something that feels deeply disharmonious to me. On the other hand, I can spend great amounts of time, effort and energy communicating with someone trying to make sure that our feelings have been expressed and making the other person feel accepted and validated for who they are and for what they feel. This comes to me very naturally and effortlessly, and I do it with pleasure. I suppose we can call the former (masculine) way a proactive way of showing love, and the latter (feminine) a receptive one. Hypothetically, someone who is perfectly balanced would have no trouble showing love in the proactive way when the situation calls for that, and in the receptive way when so.

So what I'm wondering is how common it is exactly for these so-called bisexual individuals mentioned by Q'uo to master both the masculine and the feminine way of being in the same area of life, or rather, if it's more common for these entities to be masculine in some ways and feminine in other ways, with the situation simply being that the overall balance in the entity doesn't lean neither towards the masculine nor towards the feminine, even though they have very obvious preferences towards one side or the other depending on the situation or area of life.


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - AnthroHeart - 06-17-2019

I was thinking shadow before I saw you mention it. My shadow usually comes out in my dreams.
I say we have to deal with it here, or there in higher density where it's in your face.
And by dealing with it I mean to accept it.

I think Law of Attraction and some magic works pretty well for wanderers, especially of 6D.

I just wonder if we can tap into the social memory complex of 6D or if we're limited to 3D only.


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - kristina - 06-18-2019

(06-17-2019, 09:28 AM)Ray711 Wrote:
(06-17-2019, 08:59 AM)Nau7ik Wrote: The adept is one who is psychically androgynous, meaning that he is a balanced entity, masculine and feminine working harmoniously in one’s being

I wonder what the intricacies of such balance actually entail. Ideally we'd all manifest the positive qualities of both sexes in all facets or areas of life, but obviously in 3rd density that's an impossibility. In my case for example I know I have some kind of blockage when it comes to being generous in regard to physical or material things. Also, the notion of being a provider in a typically masculine way is something that feels deeply disharmonious to me. On the other hand, I can spend great amounts of time, effort and energy communicating with someone trying to make sure that our feelings have been expressed and making the other person feel accepted and validated for who they are and for what they feel. This comes to me very naturally and effortlessly, and I do it with pleasure. I suppose we can call the former (masculine) way a proactive way of showing love, and the latter (feminine) a receptive one. Hypothetically, someone who is perfectly balanced would have no trouble showing love in the proactive way when the situation calls for that, and in the receptive way when so.

So what I'm wondering is how common it is exactly for these so-called bisexual individuals mentioned by Q'uo to master both the masculine and the feminine way of being in the same area of life, or rather, if it's more common for these entities to be masculine in some ways and feminine in other ways, with the situation simply being that the overall balance in the entity doesn't lean neither towards the masculine nor towards the feminine, even though they have very obvious preferences towards one side or the other depending on the situation or area of life.
I think there may be a slight misunderstanding in that we are also talking in a metaphysical sense. Nau7tik said it well. Much better than myself.
Perhaps another way to understand this quote is to look at the opposites in all things that one must balance along their journey. Some examples would be balancing of emotions which have seemingly opposites an example of this would be sorrow/joy, anger/contentment and so forth.
The balancing of "counterparts". This would include the male and female energies within each entity.


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - Spiritualchaos - 02-21-2022

Post deleted


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - flofrog - 02-21-2022

So agree, for my part,  on many things you write Spiritualchaos,  
and, as you point,  since we never get to actually know until we are no longer in these bodies, I t feels always wise, as long as we keep working, to take a step back,  and look for what would love do.


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - loverising - 02-25-2022

Ray, thank you for your post. When I have pondered love and wisdom separately and as one I still draw blanks. Love to me seems to be the greatest catalyst of experience available on Earth. When I look back on love in my life the answer seems clearer. Why does unconditional love become self sacrificing? Is there wisdom in this? There are no rules in love, but how far will this love go? What aspects of the personality will appear? Will it surprise you? What will we learn from this? I think this is just the tip of the iceberg.


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - Patrick - 02-25-2022

(02-25-2022, 11:21 AM)loverising Wrote: ...Why does unconditional love become self sacrificing? Is there wisdom in this?...

I found that unconditional love is a net benefit to the Creator. So if you sacrifice, then a part of the Creator (you) is restricting love to the Self in order to allow more love to others. The end result is not a net benefit, because it's a -/+ operation.

Wisdom comes into play to find a way of giving others the love they deserve without subtracting any love towards yourself. Thus, if there is still a sacrifice, at least it won't feel like a sacrifice. It will be done gladly and openly. But in my opinion, the mixing of wisdom and compassion (compassionate-wisdom) will not often result in what we call a sacrifice.


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - loverising - 02-25-2022

(02-25-2022, 12:49 PM)Patrick Wrote:
(02-25-2022, 11:21 AM)loverising Wrote: ...Why does unconditional love become self sacrificing? Is there wisdom in this?...

I found that unconditional love is a net benefit to the Creator. So if you sacrifice, then a part of the Creator (you) is restricting love to the Self in order to allow more love to others. The end result is not a net benefit, because it's a -/+ operation.

Wisdom comes into play to find a way of giving others the love they deserve without subtracting any love towards yourself. Thus, if there is still a sacrifice, at least it won't feel like a sacrifice. It will be done gladly and openly. But in my opinion, the mixing of wisdom and compassion (compassionate-wisdom) will not often result in what we call a sacrifice.


Thank you Patrick. I agree, with unconditional love it will not feel like a sacrifice. Sometimes I struggle to find the words. I think I was speaking of the wisdom gained from the experience of Love. In hindsight I found a different perspective and that was a perspective of acceptance and appreciation. The Ra material reminded me that self-acceptance was the first step towards forgiveness and acceptance of others. And all begins from within. The follow up question would be, is unconditional love and acceptance of all flaws true wisdom? Self to self or other self.


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - Patrick - 02-25-2022

(02-25-2022, 03:09 PM)loverising Wrote: ...is unconditional love and acceptance of all flaws true wisdom? Self to self or other self.

I do not know if it is wise, but it is working quite well for me so far. Wink

Acceptance of what seems unacceptable leads to forgiveness of what seems unforgivable. And it seems our logical side (reason) is always balking at this. I just ignore it for stuff like that. It's not something logic can compute.

I guess some might say that it is unwise to ignore reason. But I think the best approach is always to use the best tool for the job and here the best tool is our heart-intelligence instead of our logical-intelligence. These complement each others quite well when used properly for what they are meant for.


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - MonadicSpectrum - 02-26-2022

(02-25-2022, 03:09 PM)loverising Wrote: The follow up question would be, is unconditional love and acceptance of all flaws true wisdom? Self to self or other self.

I'll throw my two cents on this question into the ring.

I think it really boils down to what acceptance is defined as. To me, acceptance is more about the past while wisdom is more about the future. Or in a frame of reference outside of time, acceptance is for things outside of your influence while wisdom is for things inside of your influence.

For example, someone might be overweight. They can learn to accept the past decisions that lead to this current state unconditionally and without judgement while simultaneously using discernment to apply wisdom to make better decisions in the future that lead to a healthy weight instead.

Another example would be somebody being bullied. They can learn to love the bully unconditionally while simultaneously using wisdom to create boundaries to prevent being bullied.

Finally, one can also view the inversions of love and wisdom that is common in our society where one looks to change what cannot be changed by using wisdom to judge the past and simultaneously using love and acceptance exclusively for imaginary situations and futures that don't actually exist.

This philosophy of true integration of love and wisdom can be found in the Serenity Prayer:

Quote:God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change [love],
courage to change the things I can [power],
and wisdom to know the difference [wisdom].

If you want to learn more about these ideas, here is a video I made about love, wisdom, and power:




RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - loverising - 02-27-2022

(02-25-2022, 03:29 PM)Patrick Wrote:
(02-25-2022, 03:09 PM)loverising Wrote: ...is unconditional love and acceptance of all flaws true wisdom? Self to self or other self.

I do not know if it is wise, but it is working quite well for me so far. Wink

Acceptance of what seems unacceptable leads to forgiveness of what seems unforgivable. And it seems our logical side (reason) is always balking at this. I just ignore it for stuff like that. It's not something logic can compute.

I guess some might say that it is unwise to ignore reason. But I think the best approach is always to use the best tool for the job and here the best tool is our heart-intelligence instead of our logical-intelligence. These complement each others quite well when used properly for what they are meant for.


Indeed Patrick, logic and intuition are amazing tools. I appreciate your point of views and am grateful you have given me some ideas to think about, thank you.


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - loverising - 02-27-2022

(02-26-2022, 12:21 AM)MonadicSpectrum Wrote:
(02-25-2022, 03:09 PM)loverising Wrote: The follow up question would be, is unconditional love and acceptance of all flaws true wisdom? Self to self or other self.

I'll throw my two cents on this question into the ring.

I think it really boils down to what acceptance is defined as. To me, acceptance is more about the past while wisdom is more about the future. Or in a frame of reference outside of time, acceptance is for things outside of your influence while wisdom is for things inside of your influence.

For example, someone might be overweight. They can learn to accept the past decisions that lead to this current state unconditionally and without judgement while simultaneously using discernment to apply wisdom to make better decisions in the future that lead to a healthy weight instead.

Another example would be somebody being bullied. They can learn to love the bully unconditionally while simultaneously using wisdom to create boundaries to prevent being bullied.

Finally, one can also view the inversions of love and wisdom that is common in our society where one looks to change what cannot be changed by using wisdom to judge the past and simultaneously using love and acceptance exclusively for imaginary situations and futures that don't actually exist.

This philosophy of true integration of love and wisdom can be found in the Serenity Prayer:

Quote:God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change [love],
courage to change the things I can [power],
and wisdom to know the difference [wisdom].

If you want to learn more about these ideas, here is a video I made about love, wisdom, and power:


Hello MonadicSpectrum, thank you! I really enjoyed watching your video and the quotes and examples explaining these ideas. Especially the Lion King reference because that is my favorite Disney movie lol the Serenity Prayer is beautiful, and thank you for tying that into the conversation. I hadn’t considered the Power pillar. I guess I have shied away from Power in the past, it is not something I am yet comfortable with using. Maybe that is the Wisdom to know the difference


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - aWanderer91 - 02-27-2022

(02-26-2022, 12:21 AM)MonadicSpectrum Wrote:
(02-25-2022, 03:09 PM)loverising Wrote: The follow up question would be, is unconditional love and acceptance of all flaws true wisdom? Self to self or other self.

I'll throw my two cents on this question into the ring.

I think it really boils down to what acceptance is defined as. To me, acceptance is more about the past while wisdom is more about the future. Or in a frame of reference outside of time, acceptance is for things outside of your influence while wisdom is for things inside of your influence.

For example, someone might be overweight. They can learn to accept the past decisions that lead to this current state unconditionally and without judgement while simultaneously using discernment to apply wisdom to make better decisions in the future that lead to a healthy weight instead.

Another example would be somebody being bullied. They can learn to love the bully unconditionally while simultaneously using wisdom to create boundaries to prevent being bullied.

Finally, one can also view the inversions of love and wisdom that is common in our society where one looks to change what cannot be changed by using wisdom to judge the past and simultaneously using love and acceptance exclusively for imaginary situations and futures that don't actually exist.

This philosophy of true integration of love and wisdom can be found in the Serenity Prayer:

Quote:God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change [love],
courage to change the things I can [power],
and wisdom to know the difference [wisdom].

If you want to learn more about these ideas, here is a video I made about love, wisdom, and power:


Great response and I really enjoyed the video Monadicspectrum, I've subscribed to your YouTube channel Smile


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - Loki - 03-22-2022

Quote:Why does unconditional love become self sacrificing? Is there wisdom in this?

OK just by studying the texts of the Confederation I can point out that unconditional love or lets call it "pure love" does not contain wisdom in it and this is why is called love and no love/wisdom.

Ra and Q'ou give the example of Jesus which decided to become a martyr by loving the people that would eventually kill him. Clearly in pure love there is no wisdom. it is the lesson about how someone from a positive 4-5-6 D would love. It is the lesson about how love must be in order to be able to move from 4D to 5D. However in higher densities there is no danger that one of your colleges would take advantage in a negative way of your love but in 3D there is always a danger that pure love can be interpreted as weakens of foolishness by some negatively polarized or unpolished people.

But I disagree that unconditional love means sacrificing yourself. If you feel you sacrifice yourself by showing love to someone that is not unconditional love. I would call it kindness which is a form of love/wisdom combo.

Quote:I found that unconditional love is a net benefit to the Creator. So if you sacrifice, then a part of the Creator (you) is restricting love to the Self in order to allow more love to others. The end result is not a net benefit, because it's a -/+ operation.

Unconditional love is pure benefit to you and to Creator and you feel it as unconditional love. At least this is what Q'uo believes about Jesus sacrifice. Q'uo says Jesus receives the maximum possible positive polarity by martyrdom. But for Jesus his martyrdom did not feel as a sacrifice but it was what he wished for himself. We see it as sacrifice because we are not capable of unconditional love towards everybody or everything. I only have unconditional love for my cat but this is about it. Jesus had it for every part of this Creation.

Q'uo also talks about the "road not taken" and they are saying that if Jesus would have lived many years and teach the way of love he might have gathered more polarity at a slower rate overall than through martyrdom. They however say they cannot guarantee because the illusion has a way of changing people and a long live in this illusion my affect one's love. But he says martyrdom gave Jesus maximum positive polarity.


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - Quincunx - 03-22-2022

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RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - aWanderer91 - 03-22-2022

Unconditional love is quite simply, love without conditions laid upon it.

For instance "I love you no matter what" and "I love you for no reason" are unconditional loving statements, when meant and imbued with feeling.

I disagree that one has to be treated badly to show unconditional love Quincunx, which I believe what you said implied. Also, true unconditional love doesn't even consider whether a thanks would be given or not, if this thought arises about whether one has or should of thanked us, then we can consider whether we had hidden motives when giving the help/love in the first place.


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - Quincunx - 03-22-2022

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RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - Loki - 03-22-2022

(03-22-2022, 05:41 PM)Quincunx Wrote:
(03-22-2022, 09:17 AM)Loki Wrote: I disagree that unconditional love means sacrificing yourself. If you feel you sacrifice yourself by showing love to someone that is not unconditional love. I would call it kindness which is a form of love/wisdom combo.

Unconditional love is pure benefit to you and to Creator and you feel it as unconditional love. At least this is what Q'uo believes about Jesus sacrifice. Q'uo says Jesus receives the maximum possible positive polarity by martyrdom. But for Jesus his martyrdom did not feel as a sacrifice but it was what he wished for himself. We see it as sacrifice because we are not capable of unconditional love towards everybody or everything. I only have unconditional love for my cat but this is about it. Jesus had it for every part of this Creation.

I think you are confused about what unconditional love is. The way I can relate to things is through stories.

For example, I have tried dating women thinking that I was going to get a relationship out of it. Instead, it seems like they are walking away with a sense of learning that was initiated by me. I get nothing in return. The most recent woman who I tried beginning something with was experiencing a separation that eventually ended in divorce. I didn't know this when I asked her out. I later found out that V needed surgery to remove cysts on her ovaries. I learned this from someone else. I had many dreams that were consistently trying to tell me to tell a woman about what I had experienced in my past. There is a level of free will when interpreting dreams so I had a hard time figuring out what they could be about. I had a moment of clarity when V told me that she needed surgery but wasn't sure about getting it done. After weeks of trying to figure out what my dreams were saying I decided to confront V and tell her about my Cancer history. I told her about the scars on my neck and that I made a choice to have a tumor removed even though I knew it was a life or death operation. I eventually found out that V made her choice and took a month off from work to recover. The last I heard was that she is doing well and is enjoying her life. V and I never went on a date. I helped her with a choice and got nothing in return. Not even a thank you. I understand this example may be seen as not giving unconditional love. This happened a few years ago when I was struggling with the concept of my mission on Earth.

Another example is when there was this lazy coworker I worked with. The job required all employees to do online training in the break room. He was in there for 30 minutes. The training usually takes 5 minutes or less. A manager requested someone to go talk to him as to why it was taking him so long. I volunteered. It turns out the guy was having trouble trying to figure out where his place in life was. He had other jobs outside of the one we were currently at. From his point of view he thought about working smart not hard. From everyone else's point of view was that he doesn't work at all. It took some time for me to communicate to him that this current job that we were both in was not for him. I was not his supervisor or a manager therefore I could not fire this person. The rest of the conversation was me agreeing with him that this job required extra work that is unsatisfactory but it pays money so we are forced to just do the work. I never once hinted that he should quit his job other than saying that this job just isn't for him. About an hour later I heard from upper management that he quit his job. Did I help him? Did I get anything in return?

You mentioned that you love your cat unconditionally. I disagree with this statement. Yes you feed it and provide a home for it but does it not return it's thanks by comforting you. Now if the cat were always clawing you and showing signs that it doesn't want your love but then you insist on caring for it regardless then that could be seen as unconditional love.

Unconditional love means to love someone regardless of what he/she does including hurting you. This what Jesus did. Unconditional love means not expecting anything in return for your love.

My cat has some health issues which causes me a great deal of pain. Her suffering is constantly mirrored in my heart. When she has good moments and plays, her favourite play is to climb my legs and she claws me a lot while playing but I let her play because she has so few good moments. My legs up to the knees are covered in scratches I am happy when she seem normal and I don't mind few little scratches. Because of anxiety caused by allergies she never come to me to cuddle. When she sleeps I go to her and I try healing sessions resting my hands on her body. When I can see her taking a relaxed pose during the healing I feel joy despite my sometimes uncomfortable position. I treat her like she is my little sister. It was entrusted by the Creator to me and I do my best to help her. For lots of people this seems stupid but for me it isn't.


RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - Quincunx - 03-22-2022

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RE: 6th density wanderer lessons - unity100 - 03-23-2022

Note that some societies have a distorted and exaggerated view of what is 'masculine' and 'feminine'. Like mainly the US, where males expected to be aggressive, competitive and dominating. Which, would immediately label you as a dumb brute in many societies, leave aside not being considered a worthy 'man'. Same goes for femininity.

You should decide what are your masculine sides and what are your feminine sides. And you should find your own balance.