+- Bring4th (https://www.bring4th.org/forums)
+-- Forum: Bring4th Community (https://www.bring4th.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=16)
+--- Forum: Wanderer Stories (https://www.bring4th.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=3)
+--- Thread: Hidely ho, neighbors! (/showthread.php?tid=17808)
Hidely ho, neighbors! - gramboginn - 12-09-2019
Am I a wanderer? I have no idea...this whole journey for me started upon birth, as it all does for us, but this path I'm so passionate for now probably originated in my denial of attending Baptist church as a kid, locking myself in my bathroom in a warm bath reading a stack of National Geographic magazines. The shiny monkey wallpaper and the warmth of the golden light above my head was almost womb-like so I really found some sort of familiar peace in that small private space. Years passed and I was never relating my love of warm cozy areas and complete denial of the religious myths I was subjected to in my hometown of Houston TX to anything super-natural or metaphysical.
In my teen years I never was exposed to anything of the metaphysical sense so I was caught up in the drama of navigating middle and high school and college all the while working hard to become an Olympic swimmer. My love of the water was always a thing for me as I was able to hold my breath for crazy amounts of time and dreamed of breathing with gills as a human were constant. Still to this day I prefer a clear ocean swim for 3 minutes underwater with me, my suit, my fins and the fish...one day I will live where that will be my daily exercise!
While in college I did experiment lightly with LSD/psilocybin and loads of marijuana, the usual fare for a Deadhead like myself who enjoyed the company of peaceful fun loving star children
. That's where the mind altering journey began and ended somewhere around 1993-4. That journey obviously opened a little gate in me but I was unaware of what had occurred. Around early 1994 I met a beautiful woman who thought like me, was spiritual like me, loved yoga and ate organically and we instantly started making love and becoming one and started an amazing love affair. It was deep and passionate and she was making good money at our young age while I was still wandering, unable to find a career path so I got to sleep in some mornings when she had already left. As a yogi she would tote me a long to her classes where I found I was somewhat gifted in flexibility and those weekly classes started to center me a bit more after all the drugs were baking out of my system. I started to long for a connection to "God" through these yoga classes and I was starting to form an image of God as not human, but a connective force of energy that rules all matter. The Hindu strain of spirituality made sense to me although it was rooted in idols and archetypes and I wanted a connection with God as "proof" because my parents' religious pushings were definitely not giving me the connection I really wanted. I didn't do anything ritualized in our little apartment to promote this. I would lie in samadhi after yoga and try to visualize my connection but nothing over and beyond. I did focus on my dreams as much as I could to see if things were leaking through; nothing happened. Nothing materialized until one morning in mid 1994.
I was in the shower one hot summer Houston morning cleaning up after a very restful night of deep sleep and looking forward to visiting the local Navy recruiter that week. The moment the warm water hit the area where the neck becomes the spine, I left my body. I was transported to a bookstore in a large city (picture NYC) with huge stacks of books like the old Barnes and Nobles used to have (I guess there are a few out there left :-/ ). It was storming outside violently with lightning and thunder but it was strangely muted. I was searching for a new age book, probably something like The Celestine Prophecy as I read that while with my new lover and found it a really cool book. While looking in this area though, I was sensing I needed to move to another area of the store. I could sense there was something pulling me there so I just followed the pull. Upon reaching a sunken child's book area, almost amphitheater-like, lined with pillows on its upper steps to snuggle and listen to a story teller, there stood two Asian men. One was in his 20s and dressed in a monk-like garment, the other was old with a long stringy mustache and goatee, similarly dressed. I was puzzled but somehow, intuitively, I started to square off with the young monk and we paced ourselves a distant apart across the diameter of the sunken space. At the moment we were in place a rainbow started to emanate from his forehead and in an arcing form, shot across the room slowly and headed right for my forehead. I wasn't anything but in awe of this and the moment it hit my forehead I was outside of my "body" once again. I was now in a golden space of unreal love and immense connected-ness. There is still no way for me to describe this outside of the most insane connected sex one could have while simultaneously huffing a nitrous balloon. But it was nonstop insane joy. I was lifted outside of my area and bathed in this golden light that was just incredible. I felt like I was there for a thousand years in total and complete ecstasy. It was a golden pool of light with no beginning and no end. And then it stopped. I was lowered to the floor and returned to my dream "body" and ran to the young monk asking him how he did that. The old Asian monk put his hand on my shoulder and looked at me and said, "he cannot understand you as he doesn't speak your language; just know that you have been touched by the Hand of God."
And then I was back in the shower. I checked my watch as I expected the time to be hours/days later only seconds had passed. I stood there in disbelief and to this day never experienced anything like that again. I went on to the Navy, married the girl I had lived with, started reading Seth Speaks while in A-school after boot camp, got to experiment with altered sleep schedules like Seth suggested, started seeing auras around plants and people while on the base in Millington TN and then moved to my permanent duty station in Jacksonville, FL. I traveled the globe from there and moved further and further away from my spiritual quest although I did amass a great library of new age reading tomes. Alcohol and infidelity were taking me to a dark place and after separating from the military in 2000, so did my lovely wife and I never blamed her for doing so. We were divorced in 2001 and shortly thereafter, four aircraft with some of the world's most "service to self" beings in them slammed into the WTC, the pentagon and a field in PA, thanks to a team of "service to others" souls that prevented a catastrophe that would have changed our world for the worse, I truly believe.
I went into a horrid state of depression after the divorce, struggled with suicide, searched for a connection to the oneness and went through a form of separation anxiety after leaving the rigid structure of the military. (Not many realize a ton of service members experience a form of withdrawal after their years of service.) I was a failure at marriage, I was a drunk, I was a sexual deviant, and I was a failure in my swimming career in college (I never attained my Olympic dreams but got very very close). I was now alone and broken (in my mind). I moved out to Phoenix and moved into a small one-bedroom and cleaned my act up to pursue a career as an attorney. I worked for a defense firm, figured out I hated law, sobered up for a year and used their incredible health care to see a shrink 2-3 times a week for 6 months. She taught me to love myself again and she was definitely involved with my life on purpose. A few months later after feeling semi-normal, I decided to move to Santa Fe NM to be closer to my parents who had temporarily relocated there and spent a few years mountain climbing and skiing to find where God had gone. I "found" that feeling in the mountains by myself during hikes at 10000 ft and while camping and experiencing the stillness. The echoes of the fauna calling in the meadows and valleys of cirques and crevasses all spoke to me. I tried to let go of the self imposed pain and slowly navigated my way back to health and found a career path as a pilot but eventually stopped flying in 2012. I've been in sales since then because I've always been easy to talk to with all the past drama in my life.
Fast forward to today. I'm married again to someone I was meant to be with. She's a tremendous guide for me and my best friend. She doesn't subscribe to any of my "funky new age stuff" I'm drawn to and she doesn't smell like patchouli....much. She laughs while at yoga because she associates it with people farting so she's not a devotee
. I've since had a hip replaced and find I'm best suited to golf, diving and enjoying the finer things in life. I've been in and out of my love for a connection to the metaphysical my whole life and last year while reading Seth for the hundredth time I found The Ra Material. The moment I started reading I knew I was ready for all of it. I've now read both volumes all the way through and am listening to Book 1 on Audible to and from work. This intense PhD level information demands a lifetime of repetition and I couldn't have ever experienced it before my mid-40s. Every last question I had baking in my mind has been addressed in the books. The inner fight I have had with myself to be a better human and friend to all is evolving daily. I'm learning to see the traffic on the freeways out in front of me as extensions of me but in past forms of my life. I see the angry teen driver, the drunk 20-something weaving and speeding, the 30 year old woman on her cell phone, checking social media a thousand times in her hour commute, and the 40-something guy flipping people off as images of myself. I see it all as a soup of a trillion souls all swimming around one another, most oblivious and some aware or awakening at the very least. I sit at my desk at times and ponder the possible. The Law of One Ra Material is each soul's personal journey. It's not something that should be forced on people as everyone eventually finds it. The 11,000 or so members on this site are all at varying stages of development in the metaphysical department and that makes me so happy. The political noise on TV with one side vs another looks so barbaric in nature now that I have this realization. All the world's a stage and we are merely players. The key to it all for me is to not let the hypnotic nature of 3 dimensional life plus its dramatic tale hypnotize me further into the abyss. That's why I'm here on this site...to connect and be held accountable by my friends and to keep the Law of One in my daily practice of living. I sure do recognize that I say hello to everyone now and I greet everyone with a smile because you never know who needs it. I love you all. Thanks for reading.
RE: Hidely ho, neighbors! - Diana - 12-10-2019
Welcome. I really enjoyed reading your story. I look forward to reading your posts.
RE: Hidely ho, neighbors! - hounsic - 12-10-2019
Thanks for sharing your story, how nice to have you here.
RE: Hidely ho, neighbors! - BridgesToLight - 12-10-2019
Wow, I am humbled, thank you for sharing parts of yourself with us.
RE: Hidely ho, neighbors! - gramboginn - 12-11-2019
Wow thank you all! So nice to be a part of a unified 3rd dimensional mind, body, spirit complex. No doubt we will have a wonderful forward journey into Harvest. I want to help so many of those who are afraid of death, afraid of the pain, afraid of the unknown and simply assuage their stress but I know it's not my place to do so. This site contains 11000 or so currently living entities that understand the Law of One and are working inside themselves to push positive energy back into our Earth. Watched the Bikram documentary on Netflix last night. That is a PERFECT example of an entity living the Service to Self path. I'm now starting to see how everything in my life is unfolding in just the right way and at the right time. I needed to see that doc last night as I completely see the STS path and it's benefits/pitfalls. I was drawn to another about the SS who worked for Hitler. Once again, couldn't help but see a blend of STS/STO folks who were drawn to a very strong willed STS entity. It's relieving to not judge them now, to understand the magical blend of "good/bad", to lose those labels as what is bad vs what we deem good. To accept it all as one and part of the unfolding of life. Just my thoughts this morning at my desk before starting work.
RE: Hidely ho, neighbors! - kristina - 12-16-2019
(12-11-2019, 10:38 AM)gramboginn Wrote: Wow thank you all! So nice to be a part of a unified 3rd dimensional mind, body, spirit complex. No doubt we will have a wonderful forward journey into Harvest. I want to help so many of those who are afraid of death, afraid of the pain, afraid of the unknown and simply assuage their stress but I know it's not my place to do so. This site contains 11000 or so currently living entities that understand the Law of One and are working inside themselves to push positive energy back into our Earth. Watched the Bikram documentary on Netflix last night. That is a PERFECT example of an entity living the Service to Self path. I'm now starting to see how everything in my life is unfolding in just the right way and at the right time. I needed to see that doc last night as I completely see the STS path and it's benefits/pitfalls. I was drawn to another about the SS who worked for Hitler. Once again, couldn't help but see a blend of STS/STO folks who were drawn to a very strong willed STS entity. It's relieving to not judge them now, to understand the magical blend of "good/bad", to lose those labels as what is bad vs what we deem good. To accept it all as one and part of the unfolding of life. Just my thoughts this morning at my desk before starting work.
Well, hello there! Welcome to the forum! I hope that you will find a new and enriching family here with us.