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What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - dexter101 - 09-18-2020
i have read a lot about jesus and buddha and they seem to agree that it is like a gift you simply should not accept and that the other person is simply projecting their own pain etc...
in real life this is very difficult. im sure jesus had a rough time being spit on thrown stuff at him and probably worse, same thing with buddha. i mean the stories of that occuring are endless. it seems there is no defense needed when you stop alllowing your ego to be hurt.
i find this to be extremely difficult in real life. often i have huge anger and rage the following days and i try to come up with a way to respond but i know thats not the way. im not sure how to not react to it. i dont have that flow in life. im struggling with this and a ton of other things but i dont want to give up on my ideals and principles. ive lived like this my whole life by choice. i dont see why i would want to go down to their level.
and then sometimes there is the escalation of things which im very aware of. i quickly go down the sts road. some guys are just looking for a physical fight. if it ever came to that i dont think i could keep myself from....lets just put it this way: getting a lot of negative karma. its also very difficult to keep a situation calm. most of the time i just try to keep stuff to myself. i try smiling trough it but thats not me. i would like to keep a straight face but i smile because i dont want to come off as psychopath. maybe i should just start being myself more again.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Ymarsakar - 09-18-2020
That We Might Be One: The Story of the Dutch Potato Project
What is good for one person may be bad for another. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2013-12-0001-that-we-might-be-one-the-story-of-the-dutch-potato-project?lang=eng
One way to improve oneself is to look for actions to do. Not things you believe in. Have faith first then test the results. If info is useful to you, make use of it. If not useful, then ignore it or come back to it later.
Yeshua talks about where he was now, at 33 yo. The future you may have a very diff pov
What might be more useful is to think about how yeshua stopped the heart of a childhood friend when fighting and angry. Same power that heals, is like mars
it can destroy in anger.
He revived his friend but realized he needed to go to india. Thus he disappeared. It is more useful to see how these individuals overcome their own human problems. As their example is its own lesson.
I recommend doing the workbook in a course on miracles.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Minyatur - 09-18-2020
I think the balanced view of things is that it is never personal, so in any situation you become able to access the emotional state of another without making it about yourself. You are more of an observer rather than a player within the confrontation.
This would require a solid foundation of self-esteem, as otherwise your emotional state is heavily at the mercy of what others think of you. A compliment can make you overly joyous and an insult bring you down either in sorrow or anger, while a solid self-esteem would mean that your vision of yourself remains largely unaffected by what others can say.
Anyhow, you can always turn the catalyst in a reflection on your reaction and refine yourself through the process. If you got angry, then see it as an opportunity to process some anger that you may have already contained beforehand and which was triggered. If you want to fight, reflect on where does this combative unprocessed energy comes from and which part of you maybe wants to prove something.
If you are denying yourself the right to process your own energy, then it will cumulate and strike too hard hard in one situation. So even if it's just mentally or through exercise, it is well to let it out and vent your anger in some way.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Patrick - 09-18-2020
I allow myself to feel that anger the other person stirred in me and I let it show that I find the insult or action hurtful. But then the trick is to work on your response to this state you find yourself in. The way we are conditioned on this planet is to punish back the other person, by throwing back insults or even maybe throwing a punch.
If instead you would like to give another kind of response, you need to first have that intention clear. Make it clear to yourself what your preferred response you would like to be able to give. Because the intention for any change is the cornerstone.
All by itself it may seem worthless to "just" set our intention. It changes nothing ! you might say. It is both true and false. It does not change anything just by itself, but without it the opportunity for change does not even exist. So while it changes nothing, it is at the same time the most important step.
Then the other hard thing to do after setting our intent is to learn to let go of how we think we will be able to reach our goal. We are conditioned to believe that any solution can only come by thinking of a solution. The reality is that the most direct path to reach your goal can only be illuminated bit by bit.
Once you've set your intent and let go of how you'll get there, life will slowly bring you opportunities and inspiration to lead you step by step. There are no shortcuts. But there is a way to bring this inspiration down to you more clearly and so maybe help speed up the process a bit. That of course is meditation and contemplation.
In any case, it is a lot of work. And it can even be a bit disconcerting at first. Because before setting your new intent, you were not aware of the work ahead and after setting it and starting to walk the path, you begin to realize all the work it involves.
So I would suggest to remember that you do not actually need to succeed in reaching the goal. Just taking the step of having the intent is extremely powerful to your whole self. Whatever progress you manage to make after that is just icing on the cake.
If during your whole life you manage just to become able not to react as harshly as before in such situations, that will have been a very great victory ! The only times we are really sad after an incarnation are for the things we did not notice and so we could not even set an intent to start working on it.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Ymarsakar - 09-18-2020
i forgot that really dissolving anger required the solar plexus learning in hand to hand and human psychology. That dealt with fear and uncertainty. At that point, i felt i could begin managing strong mars type anger.
These things felt like they happened a life time ago, after so many steps
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Louisabell - 09-18-2020
Oh, this is such a good question! My idea of "perfection" in terms of reactionary anger has changed over time. My idea of perfection would be to blaze forward into whatever truth or teaching that the opportunity is offering.
That insult given to you, can you see any truth in it? Can you find where it is true within you? You say I am heartless, yes I can find that in me (just as I can find being loving). You say I am selfish, well yes of course I am selfish, just as I am selfless. Just ask yourself the question ... where am I this, where am I that ... for we are all things, the world is a mirror to our own energies. You can only reject a thing that you already are, because you have to know, no matter how unconsciously, the thing that you are rejecting.
In such a place, is there really ever any conflict?
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - flofrog - 09-18-2020
So true Louisabell..
I find when I am personally insulted that it makes me laugh for some reason.
But... observing cruelty makes me feel insulted, so there
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Dtris - 09-19-2020
There are several passages in the LOO about how to deal with Catalyst, especially of anger.
It boils down to feeling the emotions or catalyst and not repressing it, and acting in a natural manner. If the action would harm another it is better to be imagined than physical.
Personally, since I have been following this advice things have gotten interesting more often. I speak my mind more and I a make it known when I disagree or think something is out of line. The reaction should be a natural expression, that is the hard part. Moderating that expression can be difficult. On the whole though I have found that this has increased communication between me and others and actually brought us closer.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - flofrog - 09-20-2020
I think it always comes back to being truthful, and then kind at the same time, so this is why Dtris suddenly things become easier.
As Louisabell says, if we realize we are all of it, then whatever is said to us a an insult is just depicting one side of us, and if we are ok with that, we cannot feel insulted because we know we are that but we are not just that, we are all the rest too.
I think watching cruelty for me feels insulting because it's like a hurt inflicted on someone who is also me and there is difficulty in feeling the pain of others, there is also perhaps shame, or rather regret shared that someone else who is also myself can be insulting someone else.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Louisabell - 09-20-2020
(09-20-2020, 12:55 AM)flofrog Wrote: I think it always comes back to being truthful, and then kind at the same time, so this is why Dtris suddenly things become easier.
As Louisabell says, if we realize we are all of it, then whatever is said to us a an insult is just depicting one side of us, and if we are ok with that, we cannot feel insulted because we know we are that but we are not just that, we are all the rest too.
I think watching cruelty for me feels insulting because it's like a hurt inflicted on someone who is also me and there is difficulty in feeling the pain of others, there is also perhaps shame, or rather regret shared that someone else who is also myself can be insulting someone else.
Thanks Flofrog, that is a perfect explanation of what I meant!
As far as I try to see it (and it's only a try, I'm not always successful) is that someone else's biases in how they chose to see me is not really my concern.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Diana - 09-21-2020
(09-19-2020, 11:49 PM)Dtris Wrote: It boils down to feeling the emotions or catalyst and not repressing it, and acting in a natural manner. If the action would harm another it is better to be imagined than physical.
This is basically the key to handling anger and confrontation.
I will add that it requires detachment, and that can be summoned by taking responsibility. In the case of being offended, we must take responsibility for our reactions, for example. The idea is to become the observer.
It also helps to go over the ho'oponopono words:
I love you
I'm sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
The reason I think these words are so powerful is because it changes the perspective. If you are feeling victimized, this brings up the idea that you have a role in it. If you are angry at someone, this brings up the gratitude you may have for other things about that person. And it gets right to the point of focusing on unity rather than separation in the first line.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - dexter101 - 09-22-2020
(09-19-2020, 11:49 PM)Dtris Wrote: There are several passages in the LOO about how to deal with Catalyst, especially of anger.
It boils down to feeling the emotions or catalyst and not repressing it, and acting in a natural manner. If the action would harm another it is better to be imagined than physical.
Personally, since I have been following this advice things have gotten interesting more often. I speak my mind more and I a make it known when I disagree or think something is out of line. The reaction should be a natural expression, that is the hard part. Moderating that expression can be difficult. On the whole though I have found that this has increased communication between me and others and actually brought us closer.
i think the best one can do is try to remove onself from the situation. i think it largely also depends on the environment you are in. i have found that it depends a lot on the power structure. it is not a good idea to have a fight or an argument with one's boss. similarly there is a social hierarchy and so on. i know this is all sts but i cant help observe this in real life.
also i dont think it is ever necessary to respond to an insult.a physical confrontation can be dodged or avoided and self defense is justifiable. people are only ever really offended when it touches their ego and then they respond. i have found that it is extremely hard to let insults not affect my state of mind, yet this is the key. attachment is the root cause of suffering. words can not truly hurt us. i think if it really does get physical one can do the best to defend onself. at the workplace it is really hard. if you let it slide people will think you are weak and walk all over you. this can cause a lot of problems, sabotage leading up to physical confrontations... the same goes for prison and other places. one can not simply remove themselves from the environment that easily. a confrontation must be carefully calculated. confronting another colleague is easy but confronting your boss may mean losing your job. confronting someone physically stronger than you might result in a lost fight. this is the hierarchy and i find it all over society.
perhaps i have a perspective problem. i read that jesus was often harrased and so was buddha but they never reacted to that but they weren't part of the hierarchy either so they had nothing to lose or gain. if you are inside the hierarchy you are part of the problem.
How do you remove yourself from the hierarchy?
it wont work with money. having more than the other always requires some sort of scam. there is bitcoin, a alternative to the current system. what we truly need is a alternative to the system. a place where everyone is free to do whatever they wish to do, only then will be free, truly free to do whatever we please. free from violence, insults, disease and all the other negative stuff that comes with a inherently negative system. perhaps wanderers came here not to bring light into the matrix but instead establish a new matrix, a better one. a world in which each person has precisly the same power as the other person. a world without hierarchy ,seperation and disparities . a world where every man is truly equal, seen and treated as such.
perhaps another person can articulate it better than i can:
Rudolf Steiner:
"The esoteric teacher also gives practical instructions for the development of the inner life to the pupil whose free will, however, he never would restrain in any way. The first rule is: provide moments of inner tranquility for yourself and learn to distinguish the essential from the non-essential in these moments. Such rules were originally given in the esoteric schools not in words but in symbols. The esoteric pupil should withdraw for a short time (at least five minutes) from his daily life and should let his joys, his sorrows, his cares, his experiences, his deeds pass in review before his soul like a stranger. He must face himself with the inner tranquility of a judge. The value of this tranquil self-contemplation depends less upon what he looks than on the strength that such tranquilitybrings about. This tranquility will then also radiate on everyday life and lead to a new philosophy of life. The gained tranquility and mental certainty finally have an effect on the whole human being. Thus words meant as insults, e.g., run off from the esoteric pupil like water. When the pupil is waiting, he should use the time for observations instead of developing useless impatience, etc. Through tranquility and certainty, the pupil creates space in himself for the birth of the "higher man” who becomes then the inner ruler and directs the circumstances of the outer person with sure hand. The pupil, however, has to proceed beyond this self-contemplation and rise to the purely human reality, turn his gaze to the higher worlds. This calm contemplation must become a natural necessity of his life; he must learn to love the inflow of the spirit that comes to him from it. He recognises that thoughts are not mere shadows but concealed beings. Spiritual science calls this living in spiritual essentiality meditation. As material for meditations, the thoughts or writings of great initiates are suited, which they themselves received as revelations."
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Patrick - 09-22-2020
I believe that the alternatives to the system will arrive after we collectively worked on ourselves enough. But the good news is that we do not need 100% of the people doing this in order for it to happen. What I am looking for are signs that there is movement on that front. There will be a transition before we reach a money-less system and as of now it looks like there are two main roads that are being traced.
The first one is the push for a true Free Market. This one is very popular, especially in the west. There is a lot of info out there on how this could solve many systemic problems.
The second one is the push for Universal Basic Income. This one is less popular because people have more difficulty imagining how it would work. They try to see how it would be financed. But there is actually no need to "finance" it. Money is already virtual nowadays and a UBI could be put in place without having to "find" the money to support it.
Both of these "camps" are quite passionate about it. Personally, I find a UBI easier to imagine simply because I cannot see how poverty could be completely eliminated in a true Free Market. But those more knowledgeable assures me that in a true Free Market poverty would not be an issue either.
Anyway, whatever path we decide to travel, it will all lead to a money-less system in the end. And since we are going toward manifesting 4th density in space/time on this planet, it is just a matter of time before we see such systemic changes appearing. Covid actually gives us a good opportunity to enable changes in this regard, we could hijack the system shock the Elites have created in order to bring about faster positive change instead of the changes they wanted to bring via this shock.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Ymarsakar - 09-22-2020
The quantum financial system is the first step towards replacing currency with a different way to calculate value. Your value will now become closely linked to your vibration and what help/resources you can offer to others. Not a barter system, where you need to calculate resources as you trade.
Those with a desire to help, will be given resources commensurate with their skill at helping.
This is not Marxism nor is it capitalism. It is the undistorted 4th density transaction system, in its embryonic format, to help transition from 3rd density "markets" using "bank numbers".
Those of us that have transitioned partially or wholly into this kind of system, find it hard to describe. Basically, so long as you polarize along your path so to speak, you will be given resources and connections from Divine Source or just the universe itself.
Somehow, someway, it will manifest into your reality. Not due to some magical working, but just because your soul resonates at the right frequency now.
Quote:perhaps wanderers came here not to bring light into the matrix but instead establish a new matrix, a better one. a world in which each person has precisly the same power as the other person. a world without hierarchy ,seperation and disparities . a world where every man is truly equal, seen and treated as such.
Quite perceptive.
Quote:The second one is the push for Universal Basic Income. This one is less popular because people have more difficulty imagining how it would work. They try to see how it would be financed. But there is actually no need to "finance" it. Money is already virtual nowadays and a UBI could be put in place without having to "find" the money to support it.
The closest is whole Life insurance, or permanent life insurance. The way it works is quite interesting. Something the Rockefellers understand, but most capitalists still do not.
This guy is not a 4th density market so to speak, but it is getting closer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uS1UoqMrrZM
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Patrick - 09-22-2020
I will admit that I now live in abundance of everything: Love, friendship, money, time, health, opportunities to serve and whatever else I believe I need. All these external changes only happened after my internal changes. These things happen after you thanked them into existence.
Is this part of what you mean by Quantum resource system ?
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Patrick - 09-22-2020
(09-22-2020, 09:39 AM)Ymarsakar Wrote: ...
The closest is whole Life insurance, or permanent life insurance. The way it works is quite interesting. Something the Rockefellers understand, but most capitalists still do not.
This guy is not a 4th density market so to speak, but it is getting closer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uS1UoqMrrZM
I also like this one: http://www.memenomics.com/
I read part of the book. It's quite interesting.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Ymarsakar - 09-22-2020
(09-22-2020, 09:51 AM)Patrick Wrote:
I will admit that I now live in abundance of everything: Love, friendship, money, time, health, opportunities to serve and whatever else I believe I need. All these external changes only happened after my internal changes. These things happen after you thanked them into existence.
Is this part of what you mean by Quantum resource system ?
Yes, although that's more like a 4th density system, not the 3rd density hybrid quantum reset system mentioned in GESARA/NESARA Q stuff, or Ubuntu.
It is siimlar to the "manna from heaven" concept of the Hebrews.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Diana - 09-22-2020
(09-22-2020, 09:39 AM)Patrick Wrote:
I believe that the alternatives to the system will arrive after we collectively worked on ourselves enough.
I agree. At this point it seems to me that the majority of people are swayed by the current system and hooked into the media. Such dichotomies in this world, one of which is the exponentially grown digital media: which has been both a tool to keep people asleep and a tool for truth (if you can find it in the morass); a tool for connectedness and a tool for separation.
(09-22-2020, 09:39 AM)Patrick Wrote: The first one is the push for a true Free Market. This one is very popular, especially in the west. There is a lot of info out there on how this could solve many systemic problems.
I don't know anything about this idea. I read that it is a market with no government controls. The concept of government control is a subject unto itself, rife with corruption. But I wonder, would that then make it possible for a business to steal a trademark, perform cruel acts on people or animals, pollute the environment with toxins?
(09-22-2020, 09:39 AM)Patrick Wrote: The second one is the push for Universal Basic Income. This one is less popular because people have more difficulty imagining how it would work. They try to see how it would be financed. But there is actually no need to "finance" it. Money is already virtual nowadays and a UBI could be put in place without having to "find" the money to support it.
This is the first big step in my opinion. Everyone should have basic needs met in a world where this is possible, and it is. Once people get used to not worrying about survival, I think creativity, compassion for others, seeking higher consciousness will all flourish.
(09-22-2020, 09:39 AM)Patrick Wrote: Covid actually gives us a good opportunity to enable changes in this regard, we could hijack the system shock the Elites have created in order to bring about faster positive change instead of the changes they wanted to bring via this shock.
There is the concept of inertia involved here as well, which may work toward helping any good change to happen, just from the mere fact of there being change in motion, even if it's not related. The whole world has had to change and adjust to the situation at hand, and been forced out of a routine. So, in that respect, COVID-19 has initiated a more malleable mindset, not quite so entrenched in a way of life that the mind does not want to let go of—like a piece of clay that has softened and now can be shaped into something else. Whether this goes the way of the STS in control, or the way of STO at this juncture, remains to be seen. But one really good thing in my opinion is a small dismantling of the typical work environment, based on everyone being in the same place and observed all the time. More self-responsibility and accountability is required when one works at home, and this is a step ahead in consciousness.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Patrick - 09-22-2020
(09-22-2020, 12:23 PM)Diana Wrote:(09-22-2020, 09:39 AM)Patrick Wrote: The first one is the push for a true Free Market. This one is very popular, especially in the west. There is a lot of info out there on how this could solve many systemic problems.
I don't know anything about this idea. I read that it is a market with no government controls. The concept of government control is a subject unto itself, rife with corruption. But I wonder, would that then make it possible for a business to steal a trademark, perform cruel acts on people or animals, pollute the environment with toxins?
There would be no intellectual property and so no copyrights and no patents. They basically believe that in a true free market, people would truly be able to vote with their wallet. I am not attracted by the idea myself. However you get to have more money, it gives you more "vote" and then more power. In my opinion, the Elites would have a field day with that one. Maybe that is why this is the more popular choice. As in welcome the new boss, same as the old. But my brother follows this movement and assures me it is the solution. Can't see it myself, but we never know.
(09-22-2020, 12:23 PM)Diana Wrote: ...I think creativity, compassion for others, seeking higher consciousness will all flourish.
Yes I agree and that is my preferred route as well.
(09-22-2020, 12:23 PM)Diana Wrote:(09-22-2020, 09:39 AM)Patrick Wrote: Covid actually gives us a good opportunity to enable changes in this regard, we could hijack the system shock the Elites have created in order to bring about faster positive change instead of the changes they wanted to bring via this shock.
There is the concept of inertia involved here as well, which may work toward helping any good change to happen, just from the mere fact of there being change in motion, even if it's not related. The whole world has had to change and adjust to the situation at hand, and been forced out of a routine. So, in that respect, COVID-19 has initiated a more malleable mindset, not quite so entrenched in a way of life that the mind does not want to let go of—like a piece of clay that has softened and now can be shaped into something else. Whether this goes the way of the STS in control, or the way of STO at this juncture, remains to be seen. But one really good thing in my opinion is a small dismantling of the typical work environment, based on everyone being in the same place and observed all the time. More self-responsibility and accountability is required when one works at home, and this is a step ahead in consciousness.
Here in Canada, I wrote my representative about supporting UBI and actually got a real response written by the person himself saying that my opinion would be forwarded to our finance minister, where I was sure it would be thoroughly ignored. But a couple of weeks after, our senate collectively wrote a letter to our primer minister asking to implement a UBI. That was a temporary UBI for the time of the Covid only, but still. Instead our government put something so much more complex and that you cannot get if you accept work, so of course many people prefers not to return to work in order to keep this. A UBI would have taken care of all those issues as well as making it much simpler. People could have gone back to work and still keep that extra Covid money. But I think they are afraid of having even a temporary UBI since it would probably demonstrate too much success.
Still I think it will happen. Support is growing for a UBI by the minute. The real stopper are the financial "experts" just not getting how we could afford it. These guys are so far in the indoctrination that they just can't see the forest for the trees.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Ymarsakar - 09-22-2020
The Asian secret societies say they are sitting on top of x gig in gold.
The stuff they didn't give the Western banks in return for all those fake promissory notes.
This seems to be in the planning to use as a "starter" fund to re crystalize the financial system, without crashing it entirely. I suspect people will still panic, them being human, and try to get all their assets out when they hear about a quantum financial reset and central banks going out of business.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - schubert - 09-30-2020
nothing wrong with setting clear, firm boundaries in a stern, yet peaceful way. you can be firm yet soft. this is a form of self love and self respect.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - AnthroHeart - 10-01-2020
42.4 Questioner: Would a perfectly balanced entity feel an emotional response when being attacked by the other-self?
Ra: I am Ra. This is correct. The response is love.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - J.W. - 10-01-2020
"Understanding," when you can understand "why," then the "love" will automatically comes in, and an epiphany will spark within you to realize that this is part of the infinite creator.
Now, in a logical sense... just walk away, if they post a threat to your family and yourself, by all mean, defend yourself.
But if it is just words... well my friend, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can't"
And if that doesn't help, tell them that you feel sorry for them, because 10 out of 10, they have a miserable life, their body and home is dilapidated, litter with trash and filth.. and there's so much of it that they want to "share" it with you.
If you can look at it that way, then a simple "no thank you" is enough.
The trickier ones are from females, female can "mask" very well and play victim better than men. Sometimes, they won't confront you directly and coward behind other negative folks and cheer them on as a "supporting" role. When face with this one, just look at them and smile and let them know through your gaze that you see their petty behavior.
Pettiness is a hallmarks of the negative side, especially their lower ranking pawns. The higher ranking one will try to embarrass you with their "intellect" and arsenal of "vocabulary" while playing "nice and courteous."
Just call their bs out my friend,
Shadow can't exist in the present of light.
Hope this help,
With love and light my friend.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Diana - 10-01-2020
(10-01-2020, 03:17 AM)J.W. Wrote: The trickier ones are from females, female can "mask" very well and play victim better than men. Sometimes, they won't confront you directly and coward behind other negative folks and cheer them on as a "supporting" role. When face with this one, just look at them and smile and let them know through your gaze that you see their petty behavior.
Dude, I can't let you get away with this.
While I understand that there may be some truth to this concept, considering that females have been subjugated for centuries and developed ways to deal with that, I would prefer to view this idea in a different way.
Within the context of unenlightened females who might act in this manner, are the unenlightened males who respond to it and act in their own unenlightened ways. In other words, people IN GENERAL are who we might be referring to, who are still operating from those levels. So let's talk about that, instead of labeling with female/male. Not to mention that pigeonholing and blanket statements are not truthful as life is too dynamic, personalities are too dynamic in nature. A male could be good at masking. A female might not discern it. There are many males with victim mindsets, and so on. So let's please try to avoid such pigeonholing here in this community.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - J.W. - 10-02-2020
(10-01-2020, 01:40 PM)Diana Wrote:(10-01-2020, 03:17 AM)J.W. Wrote: The trickier ones are from females, female can "mask" very well and play victim better than men. Sometimes, they won't confront you directly and coward behind other negative folks and cheer them on as a "supporting" role. When face with this one, just look at them and smile and let them know through your gaze that you see their petty behavior.
Dude, I can't let you get away with this.
While I understand that there may be some truth to this concept, considering that females have been subjugated for centuries and developed ways to deal with that, I would prefer to view this idea in a different way.
Within the context of unenlightened females who might act in this manner, are the unenlightened males who respond to it and act in their own unenlightened ways. In other words, people IN GENERAL are who we might be referring to, who are still operating from those levels. So let's talk about that, instead of labeling with female/male. Not to mention that pigeonholing and blanket statements are not truthful as life is too dynamic, personalities are too dynamic in nature. A male could be good at masking. A female might not discern it. There are many males with victim mindsets, and so on. So let's please try to avoid such pigeonholing here in this community.
I sense you view this comment in a "sexist" kind of way,
The "context" you provided is just as generalized as my comment. I don't say "all" females, and the comment was placed in a "generic" fashion, because there isn't a "real" situation. Only Hypothesis and examples.
So to reassure you, yes, I am speaking about lower vibration people and their "common" traits, if you are going to quote the "female" comment I made, you should quote the other one too, where I speak of "common" lower vibration male behavior.
there's no "border" between the "behaviors" from both sex. The statement is as "vague" as saying, male usually pee standing up, and female usually pee sitting down. That's all.
I do have a "feeling" that you might have witnessed/understanding a lot of unfairness for women in this lifetime or been mistreated yourself, whichever the case, from the bottom of my heart, I feel you Dianna.
With much love and light my friend,
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Diana - 10-02-2020
(10-02-2020, 01:35 AM)J.W. Wrote: I sense you view this comment in a "sexist" kind of way.
No. Just biased as I said. Biased in a way that I don't see as very open-minded. But I will add that oftentimes we miss connecting in intent on a forum where we just type words. I think there is much background in a person's thoughts that don't get translated.
The main reason I called your post out is for the people who come here to read—not to criticize. I do feel some responsibility in what is available to read here, considering that there are people who come here seeking guidance. So I feel it is important to be clear and to uphold a certain standard of thinking.
(10-02-2020, 01:35 AM)J.W. Wrote: I do have a "feeling" that you might have witnessed/understanding a lot of unfairness for women in this lifetime or been mistreated yourself, whichever the case, from the bottom of my heart, I feel you Dianna.
No need to feel badly for me. Though of course I have had to deal with the gender imbalances in our society, I had little problem with it really. I am of an entrepreneurial mindset, and so just deal with things as they come. I have been fortunate in this regard, as being in a workplace would be a whole different challenge.
Thank you for your considerate response, and taking my *reprimand* on the nose.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - J.W. - 10-03-2020
(10-02-2020, 10:54 AM)Diana Wrote:(10-02-2020, 01:35 AM)J.W. Wrote: I sense you view this comment in a "sexist" kind of way.
No. Just biased as I said. Biased in a way that I don't see as very open-minded. But I will add that oftentimes we miss connecting in intent on a forum where we just type words. I think there is much background in a person's thoughts that don't get translated.
The main reason I called your post out is for the people who come here to read—not to criticize. I do feel some responsibility in what is available to read here, considering that there are people who come here seeking guidance. So I feel it is important to be clear and to uphold a certain standard of thinking.
(10-02-2020, 01:35 AM)J.W. Wrote: I do have a "feeling" that you might have witnessed/understanding a lot of unfairness for women in this lifetime or been mistreated yourself, whichever the case, from the bottom of my heart, I feel you Dianna.
No need to feel badly for me. Though of course I have had to deal with the gender imbalances in our society, I had little problem with it really. I am of an entrepreneurial mindset, and so just deal with things as they come. I have been fortunate in this regard, as being in a workplace would be a whole different challenge.
Thank you for your considerate response, and taking my *reprimand* on the nose.
You're very welcome, and vice versa, I appreciate the meaningful exchange we have, you brought a gentle touch to my statement and that is very well "balanced." I understand, and admit that as a man, I do come off "bluntly" and "detached" from time to time, and your energy was a complimentary.
I feel wisdom came into fruition from our chat, and I love that.
I hope to see more women like yourself in our future world,
and haha, anytime Diana, I am an old boy and it isn't my first rodeo ;]
Much love and light,
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Dtris - 10-03-2020
(09-22-2020, 08:09 AM)dexter101 Wrote:(09-19-2020, 11:49 PM)Dtris Wrote: There are several passages in the LOO about how to deal with Catalyst, especially of anger.
It boils down to feeling the emotions or catalyst and not repressing it, and acting in a natural manner. If the action would harm another it is better to be imagined than physical.
Personally, since I have been following this advice things have gotten interesting more often. I speak my mind more and I a make it known when I disagree or think something is out of line. The reaction should be a natural expression, that is the hard part. Moderating that expression can be difficult. On the whole though I have found that this has increased communication between me and others and actually brought us closer.
i think the best one can do is try to remove onself from the situation. i think it largely also depends on the environment you are in. i have found that it depends a lot on the power structure. it is not a good idea to have a fight or an argument with one's boss. similarly there is a social hierarchy and so on. i know this is all sts but i cant help observe this in real life.
also i dont think it is ever necessary to respond to an insult.a physical confrontation can be dodged or avoided and self defense is justifiable. people are only ever really offended when it touches their ego and then they respond. i have found that it is extremely hard to let insults not affect my state of mind, yet this is the key. attachment is the root cause of suffering. words can not truly hurt us. i think if it really does get physical one can do the best to defend onself. at the workplace it is really hard. if you let it slide people will think you are weak and walk all over you. this can cause a lot of problems, sabotage leading up to physical confrontations... the same goes for prison and other places. one can not simply remove themselves from the environment that easily. a confrontation must be carefully calculated. confronting another colleague is easy but confronting your boss may mean losing your job. confronting someone physically stronger than you might result in a lost fight. this is the hierarchy and i find it all over society.
perhaps i have a perspective problem. i read that jesus was often harrased and so was buddha but they never reacted to that but they weren't part of the hierarchy either so they had nothing to lose or gain. if you are inside the hierarchy you are part of the problem.
Is removing yourself from the situation your natural response? Or is it your rational response based on your logical beliefs?
What do you mean by "necessary" to respond to an insult? An insult can be Libel or Slander, it can hurt your reputation, your source of income, and your relationships.
You seem to be quite terrified of the prospect of physical conflict, and have a misplaced idea that all conflict can lead to physical conflict.
If your boss is insulting you, he will never respect you if you do not stand up to it. If you are not willing to confront your boss for something you believe in, your will never be respected. Confrontation and conflict are a part of life. It is possible to be completely respectful and act with decorum while having a conflict with someone.
I hope I don't bother Diana with this, but the avoidance of conflict to the point of detriment comes from too much feminine yin energy, and not enough masculine yang energy. When masculine energy is in conflict it builds respect among the combatants. This is why men become friends after a fight in many cases. The fight itself is immaterial, it is the willingness to confront something that allowed for the energy to accept the other.
Yin yields, Yang confronts. Always yielding or avoiding is wrong. Always confronting is also wrong and can be seen in certain people who think they have to force their way on people to be the boss. Balance is being able to yield but have boundaries that you will enforce.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - Diana - 10-03-2020
(10-03-2020, 10:00 AM)Dtris Wrote: I hope I don't bother Diana with this, but the avoidance of conflict to the point of detriment comes from too much feminine yin energy, and not enough masculine yang energy. When masculine energy is in conflict it builds respect among the combatants. This is why men become friends after a fight in many cases. The fight itself is immaterial, it is the willingness to confront something that allowed for the energy to accept the other.
Yin yields, Yang confronts. Always yielding or avoiding is wrong. Always confronting is also wrong and can be seen in certain people who think they have to force their way on people to be the boss. Balance is being able to yield but have boundaries that you will enforce.
LOL!!!! no, that doesn't offend me.
Yin/yang energies have different ratios in everyone.
RE: What is the perfect way to respond to an insult/confrontation? - dexter101 - 10-04-2020
i find it interesting how the opinions here differ and noone took me up on rudolf steiner. doesnt anyone here know the significance of this man? he isnt some new age newbie this guy was born in 1861 and died in 1925.