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Ericon is here - Ericon - 12-30-2021
Greetings, hej!
I will take this opportunity to speak.
I find the Law of One material soothing, informative and helpful. The entities communicating seem genuine, humorous and loving. I find these traits attractive.
I'm incarnated as a 32 years old male. I was born into a working class family with basic needs covered. From an early age on there was always a natural longing to know. I went about my life in a normal way from our socialist society’s point of view, which was kind of a narrow view but at the time of my childhood it still had some loving soothing Christian elements functioning. Family, school, fotboll (soccer), friendship, relationships and music was what my childhood and early teens was about. Around the age of 15, me and my friends began drinking alcohol and partying which remained a destructive habit for many years.
I remember having the feeling of postponing the choice and responsibility of becoming someone, or excelling in a career. There was internal pressure, and episodes of anger and violence during my later teens. I had to get away from my hometown, and so me and my partner at the time applied and got accepted at a university where I studied statistics. Spirituality was not even a concept in my mind at this time, but when I look back, this was a time of intense seeking and grief. An intense love affair with cannabis began to replace the relationship I had with my partner. It made me feel something for the first time in years. I graduated with a BSc in statistics the spring of 2013. I got a job as a trader on a mediterranean island early 2014.
But something was missing. I was lost. Cannabis had opened me up, and I was desperate for a more stable, joyful and sober state. Suddenly I was conscious of that I was searching for something. Something that would save me. Something more. Enlightenment seemed to be it. I established a strict spiritual practice with meditation and pranayama with Yogani's aypsite.org as a guide. Things began to open up internally, but as they did, my outer life came crumbling down and it was not before long that I found myself back in my old hometown in Sweden, the place I had fled years ago. I had never intended to go back.
My spiritual routine naturally became less strict but I was pretty much practicing self-enquiry wherever and whenever instead. A moment of profound realization came about a year after my physical return or homecoming. It was obvious that this is it. It is the totality that I am.
Turbulent years followed, involving two broken intimate relationships and years of excessive drinking and weed smoking. Through it all I found refuge in the One. I was sacked from my job as a math teacher at a local high school, because of a drunk driving incident, and things weren't looking bright on a personal level. A co-worker contacted me and we began going for walks together. Things escalated and we've been in a relationship for 4 years now. I give thanks. The drunk driving incident got me sentenced to 1 years probation and community service, and it still shows up on my record some five years later and that causes some apparent personal problems.
I experimented with LSD this past summer, and though the dying experience was endlessly, hopelessly painful, refuge in the One, as the One propelled me into higher states which I enjoyed. There were intensely energized peaks and visions of an alien-like entity visible in a short moment’s golden freeze. Those of you who are into psychedelics - be prepared to die if you ingest them and enjoy!
My previous ways of intense striving of becoming are over. I am. I have knowledge of this through the unforced remembrance or natural noticing of what is. Still, I find myself here in third density and I find the Law of One material helpful and soothing in contextualizing this experience. There is an intense totality left, that which I was so busy fleeing from before. Nothing is as it has been, but something is oddly familiar
I wish every Wanderer the very best. There is light ahead. There is an answer. You’re it.
Glory to God forever and ever
RE: Ericon is here - hounsic - 12-30-2021
Welcome Ericon I appreciated your sharing. It sounds like you’ve packed a lot into your life’s story up to this point. Again welcome
RE: Ericon is here - Diana - 12-30-2021
Welcome! I enjoyed reading your story.
RE: Ericon is here - aWanderer91 - 12-31-2021
Welcome here Ericon,
That's quite the story you've got there
I enjoyed reading it and you have a good vibration my friend!
RE: Ericon is here - flofrog - 12-31-2021
Welcome here Ericon. Thank you for sharing. This is a courageous incarnation you are living through,
best best wishes and welcome aboard. I am with you on Ra’s gentleness and humor..
RE: Ericon is here - Ericon - 01-02-2022
Thank you hounsic and Diana
Quincunx: I'm not looking for particular visual observations with or without chemical aid. I thought I'd share that experience because it was profound and seemed somewhat relevant here. Though I believe plants and other chemicals can be fun and helpful, some can be harmful and excessive use may have harmed me somewhat during my time here. In the end, the sober experience will be intense enough to say the least. Still, substances of different sorts have their place in spirituality as well as in recreation for some.
aWanderer91: Thank you! I have retreated into a more still and silent experience. There has been less activity for several years now. Let's vibrate together as That
flofrog: Thank you. Best of wishes to you as well! What's with the frogs?
RE: Ericon is here - flofrog - 01-02-2022
Hello Ericon,
Frogs are…. what the British used to call the French, and originally, I am french although having lived most of my life in the United States.
For some reason I feel great affinity too with the frogs.. they are pretty vulnerable animals and were horribly used in the fifties and sixties in france for dissection classes, a really horrific process that has been banned since. So out of sorrow for this horrible past I have asked them to adopt me as an amphibian., and I think they accepted..
RE: Ericon is here - Ericon - 01-02-2022
flofrog the Frog adopt
RE: Ericon is here - Steppingfeet - 01-06-2022
Hi Ericon,
Thank you for taking this opportunity to speak, and so candidly, I might add. I really enjoyed skipping along some of the big highlights of your 32-year incarnate journey thus far.
From age 15 for many years onward, it sounds like substances played a predominant role in your life as a means of coping and self-medicating (along with the usual more superficial culprits of escapism and pleasure-seeking). It's incredible, actually, how these two threads - the spiritual development (of the higher centers) and the personality development (of the lower centers) - can coexist side by side and be out of balance. As you highlight:
(12-30-2021, 08:17 PM)Ericon Wrote: My spiritual routine naturally became less strict but I was pretty much practicing self-enquiry wherever and whenever instead. A moment of profound realization came about a year after my physical return or homecoming. It was obvious that this is it. It is the totality that I am.
Turbulent years followed, involving two broken intimate relationships and years of excessive drinking and weed smoking. Through it all I found refuge in the One.
In simple maybe simplistic terms, higher openings seem to tend to amplify the unhealed tangles of the lower. Which is a good thing, ultimately, if the catalyst is used. But because the missteps in the night are "oh! so easy," it can go the other way too.
(12-30-2021, 08:17 PM)Ericon Wrote: But something was missing. I was lost. Cannabis had opened me up, and I was desperate for a more stable, joyful and sober state. Suddenly I was conscious of that I was searching for something. Something that would save me. Something more. Enlightenment seemed to be it. I established a strict spiritual practice with meditation and pranayama with Yogani's aypsite.org as a guide. Things began to open up internally, but as they did, my outer life came crumbling down and it was not before long that I found myself back in my old hometown in Sweden, the place I had fled years ago. I had never intended to go back.
If identifiable, what was the catalyst for the "suddenly"? What triggered you to become conscious that you were "searching for something"? Not of any particular consequence, as the outer mechanism is just the outworking of a much deeper internal process, but I'm always curious what sparks the conscious seeking.
(12-30-2021, 08:17 PM)Ericon Wrote: My spiritual routine naturally became less strict but I was pretty much practicing self-enquiry wherever and whenever instead. A moment of profound realization came about a year after my physical return or homecoming. It was obvious that this is it. It is the totality that I am.
My previous ways of intense striving of becoming are over. I am. I have knowledge of this through the unforced remembrance or natural noticing of what is. Still, I find myself here in third density and I find the Law of One material helpful and soothing in contextualizing this experience. There is an intense totality left, that which I was so busy fleeing from before. Nothing is as it has been, but something is oddly familiar
This emanates a great degree of peace with the self, with what is. Catastrophe combined with the death/rebirth experience facilitated by LSD seems to have contributed to this present degree of equanimity. Is there anything else to which you would attribute a release of the tumult in the abidance of what is?
(12-30-2021, 08:17 PM)Ericon Wrote: I wish every Wanderer the very best. There is light ahead. There is an answer. You’re it.
"There is an answer. You're it." Another variation on You are the truth that you seek. I love it.
Thanks again, Ericon. Blessings.
RE: Ericon is here - Ericon - 01-07-2022
Quote:Hi Ericon,
Thank you for taking this opportunity to speak, and so candidly, I might add. I really enjoyed skipping along some of the big highlights of your 32-year incarnate journey thus far.
From age 15 for many years onward, it sounds like substances played a predominant role in your life as a means of coping and self-medicating (along with the usual more superficial culprits of escapism and pleasure-seeking). It's incredible, actually, how these two threads - the spiritual development (of the higher centers) and the personality development (of the lower centers) - can coexist side by side and be out of balance.
Thank you Steppingfeet.
I am likely to have used substances as a way of coping in a very destructive manner. It was what I loved. I still like intoxication.
Quote:In simple maybe simplistic terms, higher openings seem to tend to amplify the unhealed tangles of the lower. Which is a good thing, ultimately, if the catalyst is used. But because the missteps in the night are "oh! so easy," it can go the other way too.
That's right, interesting. Having been asleep, some latent personality traits being shone light upon by awakening to the timeless truth of the One, are possibly likely to jump out of deep sleep roaring. It's emphasized. It can go both ways, generally. It will go infinitely many ways, specifically.
Quote:If identifiable, what was the catalyst for the "suddenly"? What triggered you to become conscious that you were "searching for something"? Not of any particular consequence, as the outer mechanism is just the outworking of a much deeper internal process, but I'm always curious what sparks the conscious seeking.
It was an intense, life long gradual building up of intensity and an eventual recognition of helplessness. One important trigger was the recognition of Truth in the path so cleverly lovingly offered by Yogani.
Quote:This emanates a great degree of peace with the self, with what is. Catastrophe combined with the death/rebirth experience facilitated by LSD seems to have contributed to this present degree of equanimity. Is there anything else to which you would attribute a release of the tumult in the abidance of what is?
Acceptance is what I would attribute it to. It is a day-by-day or moment-to-moment thing or new reality. Material such as the Law of One has been very soothing as of late. Teach/learners as Mooji and Eckhart Tolle to name a few have also attributed to stability. LSD is likely to have helped quite a bit. Restrictiveness of cannabis consumption also seem to be important for this one at this time. So, in addition to acceptance, some discipline of the personality has been needed. Lets just call it acceptance/discipline. Two halves of the same cookie. Running and other regular physical activity are needed too.
Quote:"There is an answer. You're it." Another variation on You are the truth that you seek. I love it.
Thanks again, Ericon. Blessings.
Yes. Thank you very much. Have you consciously penetrated into what is?
RE: Ericon is here - Steppingfeet - 01-20-2022
(01-07-2022, 11:16 AM)Ericon Wrote: I am likely to have used substances as a way of coping in a very destructive manner. It was what I loved. I still like intoxication.
Addictions, escapes, and coping mechanisms are largely or maybe always misguided attempts to meet an unmet, genuine need, I believe. If one traces each need back to its source, one finds the original, primal need to heal the seeming separation from the One. That is to say, much human suffering might be framed as the uninformed attempt to fill the proverbial "god-sized hole" within each of us. I have known my own share of that which you speak. What a shortcut to modify one's consciousness so rapidly with the intake of a chemical. Especially when that consciousness is laden with trouble and pain of various sorts. But a good drink with good company? There's always a middle way. Life is to be enjoyed, and accepted.
(01-07-2022, 11:16 AM)Ericon Wrote: Having been asleep, some latent personality traits being shone light upon by awakening to the timeless truth of the One, are possibly likely to jump out of deep sleep roaring. It's emphasized. It can go both ways, generally. It will go infinitely many ways, specifically.
That's my sense of it too, though I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "It can go both ways." Maybe that the mounting suffering can catalyze the seeking for silence & stillness; and silence & stillness, consciously experienced, will of necessity reveal that which is not silent & still.
Quote:Me: If identifiable, what was the catalyst for the "suddenly"? What triggered you to become conscious that you were "searching for something"? Not of any particular consequence, as the outer mechanism is just the outworking of a much deeper internal process, but I'm always curious what sparks the conscious seeking.
(01-07-2022, 11:16 AM)Ericon Wrote: It was an intense, life long gradual building up of intensity and an eventual recognition of helplessness. One important trigger was the recognition of Truth in the path so cleverly lovingly offered by Yogani.
I appreciate the self-awareness and humility in this reflection. Helplessness, indeed. A precursor of surrender.
There's a dualism in that line of thought that I think is both helpful and necessary on the pathway to non-duality. "I can't do this, but You can." "Not my will, but Thine." "I am not the source, You are." Etc.
Tolle (who you mention) and other spiritual teachings speak of the necessity to disidentify from the false self, as it were, or the ego, the personality shell, the illusory individual identity, and so forth. There is a more subtle, seamless continuum of a selfhood that is ultimately indivisibly unitary in the Law of One* and its model of the chakras, but this basic pattern of dying to the illusion to be reborn in what-is exists fully within the Confederation's thoughts.
(*See Ra's statement: "Thus self reveals self to self." Though I might capitalize the first and second use of "self.")
Quote:Me: This emanates a great degree of peace with the self, with what is. Catastrophe combined with the death/rebirth experience facilitated by LSD seems to have contributed to this present degree of equanimity. Is there anything else to which you would attribute a release of the tumult in the abidance of what is?
(01-07-2022, 11:16 AM)Ericon Wrote: Acceptance is what I would attribute it to. It is a day-by-day or moment-to-moment thing or new reality. Material such as the Law of One has been very soothing as of late. Teach/learners as Mooji and Eckhart Tolle to name a few have also attributed to stability. LSD is likely to have helped quite a bit. Restrictiveness of cannabis consumption also seem to be important for this one at this time. So, in addition to acceptance, some discipline of the personality has been needed. Lets just call it acceptance/discipline. Two halves of the same cookie. Running and other regular physical activity are needed too.
I bolded your first sentence above. Acceptance: core, simple, profound, true, beautiful. And situated at the center of a self that is holistic, that operates on multiple levels and lines. I appreciate that there is not neglect of the other levels, such as the recognition of the value of supporting the body, etc., as an integral portion of the whole.
(01-07-2022, 11:16 AM)Ericon Wrote: Yes. Thank you very much. Have you consciously penetrated into what is?
Glimmers. I've gotten the aroma of isness when the noisy, hypnotic, self-entrapping mind-clouds part for a moment to reveal the stunning emptiness and infinite beauty of the present moment. But soon enough, this pristine awareness is stolen away by the tangled circuitry of the energy body, an undisciplined attention, and untransmuted vassanas. With the turn of this year I've been meditating more, spending more time developing concentration in order to rest in silence. I'm gearing up for my first ten-day silent meditation retreat. I am apprehensive/excited, but mostly excited.
Thanks Ericon for your sharing. The https://aypsite.org/ website looks like a tremendous resource as well. Blessings be to those people and groups sharing their light freely with the world for spiritual seekers to use as resources on their journeys.
RE: Ericon is here - Diana - 01-20-2022
(01-20-2022, 12:18 PM)Steppingfeet Wrote: Addictions, escapes, and coping mechanisms are largely or maybe always misguided attempts to meet an unmet, genuine need, I believe. ... I have known my own share of that which you speak. What a shortcut to modify one's consciousness so rapidly with the intake of a chemical. Especially when that consciousness is laden with trouble and pain of various sorts. But a good drink with good company? There's always a middle way. Life is to be enjoyed, and accepted.
I love this.
(01-20-2022, 12:18 PM)Steppingfeet Wrote: Glimmers. I've gotten the aroma of isness when the noisy, hypnotic, self-entrapping mind-clouds part for a moment to reveal the stunning emptiness and infinite beauty of the present moment. But soon enough, this pristine awareness is stolen away by the tangled circuitry of the energy body, an undisciplined attention, and untransmuted vassanas.
I'm probably going to shred this because of an inability to articulate it, but...
There is also the idea of holding both states at once. To not resist or deny either. That is not to say one shouldn't focus on one or the other, as this is very practical, and meditating is one, or the best, door to opening up that larger view. But when experiencing the mundane 3D life and all of its richness in pain and beauty and ephemeralness, and at the same time being aware of a sort of tesseract envelope of cosmic or higher-dimensional awareness around the 3D experience—being almost two entities at once (mundane 3D entity + higher-dimensional entity), leaves one in a state of being that seems to require nothing in particular, only that it is, and its nodding at you, saying hello. It doesn't offer anything because the path is your own, but while here in this place of suffering, it constitutes a sort of balancing of the equation, rather like a light at the end of a tunnel (which you are still in) yet the light is not easy.
In those moments the paradox of being alone and at the same time connected to something unfathomable kicks in. We, in our 3D (or early 4D as the case may be), are compelled to articulate the mystery. But as is observed in about any facet of life, things generally are not what we imagine they will be from a point of view which hasn't gotten there yet. What I see as an underlying basis for existence is freedom in all of its manifestations, which of course relates to the "first distortion." I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't expect to reach bliss, or happiness, or any human comfort, as a result of exploring consciousness—only freedom (which I don't pretend to really understand).
I feel like I said a lot but didn't say anything.
(01-20-2022, 12:18 PM)Steppingfeet Wrote: I'm gearing up for my first ten-day silent meditation retreat. I am apprehensive/excited.
Awesome. I have no doubt that the retreat will be worth your while. Even if it's just to get some rest.
RE: Ericon is here - Ericon - 01-20-2022
Tors styrka och Odens vishet till er, Steppingfeet och Diana.
Such wisdom Diana.
Steppingfeet: https://aypsite.org/ is a gem. It emphasizes self-pacing. The practices are ancient but timelessly relevant. It's like a practical, healthy vegetarian dish type material whereas the Law of One is a meaty, fatty Brazilian buffet. Thanks for your insight and for your comments. I repeat: There really is an answer.