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+--- Thread: I need help :( (/showthread.php?tid=19651)
I need help :( - lost_squirrel - 01-04-2022
Hi all,
I don't know where else to turn to for support, so I hope it is OK for me to post here. I have struggled my entire life with feelings of alienation and isolation. I have been very unlucky with forming and maintaining close relationships, since I have trouble connecting with others and feel like I "don't belong" anywhere and that nobody understands me. I am in my mid-30s now, and I realized that I am all alone, and it feels so terrible. I cannot stop thinking of how I want to leave this incarnation--I keep researching methods on how I can kill myself effectively. I have a deep sense of knowing that I am in fact a wanderer, and that I do not belong here. It explains my constant feelings of alienation, and why I have never been able to "find my place" in this material world. I just want to leave this place. The isolation and alienation is unbearable. I just want to retreat to a beautiful spot in nature, and let myself disappear into nothingness.
I don't know what else to do. Please help me
RE: I need help :( - Cannon - 01-04-2022
I wish I could help you, friend, but I don't know how else but to lend my support with a paltry post of wellwishing.
RE: I need help :( - Patrick - 01-04-2022
Based on personal experience, I noticed that we seem to be miserable when we are not doing what we came here to do. When we are doing what we are supposed to be doing or just being who we are supposed to be, then everything just flows in life. Of course, finding what that is for each of us is a personal journey, but we can get an idea of which direction to explore based on what is pulling on us or what seems attractive to us. If nature is pulling on you it does not mean you would find yourself alone, on the contrary you might find people sharing the same interests and they would probably be found in nature. So what you thought would be a retreat in nature might actually end up being what connects you to those people that feels the same way you do. You can extrapolate the same concept to any other attraction/pull you may have.
RE: I need help :( - pat19989 - 01-04-2022
I love your username, lost squirrel.
Sometimes human company leaves much to be desired, and from your post, you seem to have a calling to the woods. My only advice would be to go to the woods, let your thoughts subside, allow yourself to really be in the woods, hear every sound, smell the forest floor, feel some mud. The part of yourself that you are at odds with is more than likely your human ego, the judgemental, never satisfied, self depreciating voice that prevents us from connecting with others and prevents us from accepting ourselves. I find the woods have a way of breaking down the ego and returning us to a simpler state, the now, our instinctive roots. Even just a minute outside of our ego and in the now can break down those walls.
I’m sorry you are going through such a tough time. I too have a lot of trouble connecting w others and at times deal with suicidal thoughts. Nature reserves and patches of woods around my various dwellings these past few years have been a sanctuary from humanity and the ego that continues to save me from myself. You are loved by creation, it can be so hard to feel it from humans, but you are loved.
RE: I need help :( - Diana - 01-04-2022
There is one thing you might consider. Try shifting focus to something you can give to the world. I say this because it is what I do. I'm not talking about anything grandiose, just, what service can you provide that may help others in the world?
There are so many ways to do this. One easy way is to volunteer. You can volunteer:
- at a nursing home and play cards with the lonely people there
- at a crisis nursery, or a place that services homeless children
- at an animal shelter
- for PETA
- any organization that helps the underprivileged
- a soup kitchen
And so on. Or you might find some work to do that is focused on helping others. This shifting of focus may alleviate these feelings of isolation—not that they will disappear, but the good feelings of purpose generated by things such as volunteering may put them into better balance with life in general.
Even if this sort of thing does not significantly reduce despair, still, you will have helped other lives while here—human or animal. And, you will find friends here in any case, others who understand the not-fitting-in-with-humanity thing.
RE: I need help :( - aWanderer91 - 01-04-2022
Hi lost_squirrel,
I second what Patrick said, in that feeling miserable and depressed is a sure fire way of knowing we are not doing what we planned to do. That we are not following our soul paths correctly, but that's ok and you shouldn't feel bad about that. Sometimes it takes time to realign and know what direction we are meant to be heading.
Secondly, as a feeling that I am a fellow wanderer, leaving right now would only require us to repeat our preplanned lessons for this lifetime. Meaning we wouldn't be able to go go up the steps of light successfully and graduate from our present density to our old density (which is higher) in our current condition.
We need to love ourselves, love this world we live in and serve to the best of our ability by minimally activating our green ray's before we can leave feeling comfortable that we will graduate and be able to go back home. As wanderers, we came here to serve and for a specific reason.
What could that reason be, have you asked yourself? Are you truly on your own, when there's so many here on this forum who would gladly strike up a friendship with you and be able to relate to everything you have said. Are you currently in a loving condition and if not, what could you do to open your heart further to the love and light of the one infinite creator?
Most of all, know that you're truly not alone and that many could relate to you, as I could when I read your post
RE: I need help :( - lost_squirrel - 01-04-2022
(01-04-2022, 11:03 AM)pat19989 Wrote: I love your username, lost squirrel.
Sometimes human company leaves much to be desired, and from your post, you seem to have a calling to the woods. My only advice would be to go to the woods, let your thoughts subside, allow yourself to really be in the woods, hear every sound, smell the forest floor, feel some mud. The part of yourself that you are at odds with is more than likely your human ego, the judgemental, never satisfied, self depreciating voice that prevents us from connecting with others and prevents us from accepting ourselves. I find the woods have a way of breaking down the ego and returning us to a simpler state, the now, our instinctive roots. Even just a minute outside of our ego and in the now can break down those walls.
I’m sorry you are going through such a tough time. I too have a lot of trouble connecting w others and at times deal with suicidal thoughts. Nature reserves and patches of woods around my various dwellings these past few years have been a sanctuary from humanity and the ego that continues to save me from myself. You are loved by creation, it can be so hard to feel it from humans, but you are loved.
Thank you for your thoughtful and caring response. Everything you said makes sense to me. Intuitively, I know that it is true as well--that my identification with the ego is what is causing me so much distress. It is just hard sometimes to keep this perspective, since I often begin comparing myself to others my age who appear so well-adjusted and so connected with each other.
RE: I need help :( - lost_squirrel - 01-04-2022
(01-04-2022, 11:31 AM)aWanderer91 Wrote: Hi lost_squirrel,
I second what Patrick said, in that feeling miserable and depressed is a sure fire way of knowing we are not doing what we planned to do. That we are not following our soul paths correctly, but that's ok and you shouldn't feel bad about that. Sometimes it takes time to realign and know what direction we are meant to be heading.
Secondly, as a feeling that I am a fellow wanderer, leaving right now would only require us to repeat our preplanned lessons for this lifetime. Meaning we wouldn't be able to go go up the steps of light successfully and graduate from our present density to our old density (which is higher) in our current condition.
We need to love ourselves, love this world we live in and serve to the best of our ability by minimally activating our green ray's before we can leave feeling comfortable that we will graduate and be able to go back home. As wanderers, we came here to serve and for a specific reason.
What could that reason be, have you asked yourself? Are you truly on your own, when there's so many here on this forum who would gladly strike up a friendship with you and be able to relate to everything you have said. Are you currently in a loving condition and if not, what could you do to open your heart further to the love and light of the one infinite creator?
Most of all, know that you're truly not alone and that many could relate to you, as I could when I read your post
Thank you for your compassionate response and your words of encouragement. It is true--I am not completely alone. There are so many other wanderers out there who are going through similar experiences as I am. It is easy to forget this, so thank you for the reminder.
I will think about what you said regarding my "reason" for being here. I think it may be to share my art with the world (I have been making and selling my art for several years now), but I am not 100% sure about this yet. But I think it is an important question.
RE: I need help :( - pat19989 - 01-04-2022
(01-04-2022, 11:33 AM)lost_squirrel Wrote: Thank you for your thoughtful and caring response. Everything you said makes sense to me. Intuitively, I know that it is true as well--that my identification with the ego is what is causing me so much distress. It is just hard sometimes to keep this perspective, since I often begin comparing myself to others my age who appear so well-adjusted and so connected with each other.
The ego is one persistent bastard. It is very difficult to keep him at bay.
I relate to a lot of what you are going through. I am almost graduating college now and have felt very insecure these past four years because of my troubles with making friends. I've spent countless hours judging myself while I watch groups and groups of friends walk past me. But one day I started counting, keeping tallies on how many people are walking alone versus in groups, and the number walking alone greatly exceeded that of groups. This is obviously not a reliable metric, but it was a good reminder that I am not the only one who is lonely.
I'm not sure your age, but the backside of the millennial generation along with beginning of gen z seems to me to be terribly lonely. I think technology has partially delayed our social development.
Also, those well-adjusted and connected people are not perfect. I tend to idolize people who seem to have friends as having something I don't have. But they struggle too. Maybe with self-awareness, connection with self, or a deeper understanding of reality. All things that you and I may have by the boatload. We all have strengths, and we all have places we'd like to improve. I think a great challenge for me this incarnation is learning to be myself around other people, and letting them into my life. More than that, inviting them into my life. My progress is terribly slow hahaha
RE: I need help :( - IndigoSalvia - 01-04-2022
I echo what others have said about nature: go out there and take it all in. I just walk in my backyard and marvel at the tiniest creature and details, and then I touch the trees' bark and feel the texture. Whatever calls to you in this season of nature.
There were times in my life that I felt 'out of place' because of my tendency to be quite content being alone. I tended to absorb other people's energies and it throws me off balance. I am working with that. Along the way, I also learned to accept my tendency to prefer quietude. I wasn't like others in my 20s and 30s, though, I put pressure on myself to be more like others. That didn't work out real well.
The other thing you may want to try is to balance the energies herein. In several places, Ra gives a step-by-step to balancing complementary or opposite energies (e.g., solitude/socializing) but for the life of me, I can't find it in my notes. Maybe a dear friend (who is more organized than me) can cite the step-by-step process.
Deeply explore what energies you feel re solitude. Hone in on those energies, feelings, thoughts. Amplify and embrace those energies, accept them, and tenderly hold them in your heart. Then explore the opposite energies, say, community or socializing. What energies come up for that concept? Do the same: amplify and embrace those energies.
https://www.llresearch.org/channeling/2018/1215
This is a session wherein Q'uo discusses some beings' tendencies toward solitude, or as the question states, being "loners." It can be quite an efficient way of processing catalyst.
I quite love my solitary nature, now that I'm older. I struggled with it when I was younger. It gives me time and space to contemplate, reflect, meditate ... and ultimately be present on my spiritual journey.
What could this catalyst be giving you in terms of an opportunity to learn, explore, accept, love? How could it be serving you in this moment?
RE: I need help :( - Sacred Fool - 01-04-2022
(01-04-2022, 07:55 AM)lost_squirrel Wrote: I don't know what else to do. Please help me
Hey there.
One thing you might find useful is to sort out your emotional needs/problems from those which are spiritual because one oughtn't treat both of these the same way. So, the loneliness, for example. Can you explore it to see which parts of it are emotional--needing mammalian connection--and which are spiritual...needing connection with Spirit? If you can mess around with these and get some sense of these distinctions with this element (loneliness) and with others, it might help you specifically address your own needs.
For instance, if you are mainly feeling emotional loneliness, then be more social (like maybe join an internet forum). If you are mainly feeling spiritual loneliness, then find yourself a means of spiritual communion and support (maybe go meditate at holy sites, etc.). If both, then do both, but deliberately seeking the appropriate aspect from the appropriate source will likely improve your chances of personal satisfaction.
Rot's o' ruck!
RE: I need help :( - MonadicSpectrum - 01-05-2022
RE: I need help :( - flofrog - 01-05-2022
Hello lost_squirrel,
Because all these answers are so good,
, I shall just add this. A little ego is still needed but it’s nice to visualize that you sit by a fire and tell the ego that you feel is haunting you, come and sit by the fire with me, it shall be all right. Usually, it seems to pacify and reduce that tormenting ego a lot… and then, lol, pat yourself on the back, by that nice fire you lit. You are so not alone in that moving ocean where we all are.
When you wake up next, just give thanks for this life and all those trees around us, quite beautiful.
Best wishes squirrel
RE: I need help :( - Bosphorus1982 - 01-05-2022
(01-04-2022, 07:55 AM)lost_squirrel Wrote: Hi all,Welcome aboard dear friend. We are happy you joined.
I don't know where else to turn to for support, so I hope it is OK for me to post here. I have struggled my entire life with feelings of alienation and isolation. I have been very unlucky with forming and maintaining close relationships, since I have trouble connecting with others and feel like I "don't belong" anywhere and that nobody understands me. I am in my mid-30s now, and I realized that I am all alone, and it feels so terrible. I cannot stop thinking of how I want to leave this incarnation--I keep researching methods on how I can kill myself effectively. I have a deep sense of knowing that I am in fact a wanderer, and that I do not belong here. It explains my constant feelings of alienation, and why I have never been able to "find my place" in this material world. I just want to leave this place. The isolation and alienation is unbearable. I just want to retreat to a beautiful spot in nature, and let myself disappear into nothingness.
I don't know what else to do. Please help me
First of all know that you're not alone and are supported. We are a big family.
Everybody has his/her own story in life. Life on earth is difficult for everybody.
If you like, I can give you a hint in dealing with the problems you encounter.
When a problem arises, you may start taking responsibility. Since at some level, whether consciously or unconsciously, you are the creator of the situation. You may say "I am responsible for the situation. I have created it." Once you say that, you will begin to feel more powerful and better.
Also, if you do believe, always pray to God. No matter how difficult a situation is, He has the power to help you and make you overcome it. With sincere prayers, you can create miracles.
Take care
RE: I need help :( - tadeus - 01-06-2022
(01-04-2022, 07:55 AM)lost_squirrel Wrote: I just want to leave this place. The isolation and alienation is unbearable.
I just want to retreat to a beautiful spot in nature, and let myself disappear into nothingness.
I don't know what else to do. Please help me
Have you already read Carla's Wanderer's Handbook ?
It helps to understand that this feelings are 'normal'.
When it helps, go into the nature whenever you have the possibility.
I am doing the same.
We are now entering probably the most difficult phase of the new age - but that is probably what we came here for, to support mankind in it.
RE: I need help :( - IndigoSalvia - 01-06-2022
(01-06-2022, 09:02 AM)tadeus Wrote: We are now entering probably the most difficult phase of the new age - but that is probably what we came here for, to support mankind in it.
Lighthouse mode
RE: I need help :( - Fool - 01-06-2022
Lost squirrel. I think many of us here have felt the same. I don’t know your life story. I love you. Being creative is taxing. Yet it is a great gift you give. I thank you for being you, whoever you are.
RE: I need help :( - sillypumpkins - 01-06-2022
hello squirrel (I love your name btw)
as I read your post, I could swear that was me who typed up all that you had posted.
I struggle as well with maintaining/cultivating close relationships with others. I am really good at making acquaintances, however when it comes to maintaining or deepening those relationships.... well. That can be really hard for me.
I also tend to feel quite lonely... even in a group of people.
Sometimes I have some clarity and I ask myself “I wonder how many people feel the same way I do” in other words, I wonder how many share in the same feelings I have, that is, share in the loneliness.
You could be sitting alone at a bar (or a coffee shop) feeling utter loneliness, and attaching some truth to that (thinking that you are in fact alone) and right next to you could be someone feeling the exact same way. There is something kind of hilarious about that to me, and when I think about that it relieves some burden too sometimes.
Life on earth is really hard for most of us. I know what it’s like to desire death over life in the face of harsh circumstance. I think that’s ok too.
RE: I need help :( - Dtris - 01-07-2022
Feeling lonely is really rough. I think most of the other responses have covered some of the more spiritual and intellectual parts. So I will be a bit on the more practical side.
Having close friends requires effort. This seems off I think because when we were a kid the close friends came naturally. You had someone who you played with everyday, or talked to everyday, and it seemed to just happen. We don't remember being bored and going to their house to ask for them, or calling them, or them showing up at yours, or calling you.
Our hyper connected world has ironically resulted in the loss of deep meaningful connections as people tend to fall back on casual communication and time spent virtually.
It takes effort to talk to someone new, most people are friendly and glad to talk. It takes repeated effort to reach out to friends and make plans, and do things together. It takes empathy to realize that your friends might feel the same way, and to realize that if someone flakes that does not reflect on you. It takes effort to say yes when someone does invite you to do something.
Most people have several friends who you may feel like you drifted away from, or have things you used to do but stopped. So find a place to hang out, and go out on a limb and say hi to strangers. Have random conversations. Few will result in a close friend, but if you never interact with people you will never know either. Join a club, do an activity, get into something that you enjoy, take a class.
Before you decide to exit the stage remember a few lessons from Ra. The first is that you are loved. The second is that you will have to heal and try again. The third is that if it sucks this time, it probably won't suck any less the next. The fourth is to realize you are never alone as long you allow the Creator to abide within.
Good Luck.
RE: I need help :( - schubert - 01-08-2022
i feel you. something recently i have been developing that has finally started to provide contentment in this area is developing a relationship with myself. there is something powerful about focusing your awareness on your awareness. it feels nice to connect with myself.