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+--- Thread: Wondering if I am a wanderer (/showthread.php?tid=2616)
Wondering if I am a wanderer - Laurathena - 04-29-2011
Hey everyone,
I originally sent my little story to Gary (L/L Research), and after being referred to this website by him and encouraged to share it here, I decided to do so.
I am sure so many posts here start by saying "I always felt different", well... Mine is no exception. Isolation, shyness, loneliness and not being able to relate to my surroundings have stayed with me ever since I was very young. I have had this weird sensation of having a veil between myself and this world, this reality... Like I was living in a dream, I would watch people and think to myself... "Why isn't anybody stopping, why don't they see how absurd all of this is", I just couldn't understand, why I was here. At a later age I even suspected that maybe I have a mild form of autism (no joke here), since social situations are scary to me, I struggle to make connections, and at one point I became very depressed, ready to just wither away.
That and I would drive my family crazy with my far out stories, my imagination was/is most definitely overly active. So like I said earlier, I felt this life was like a dream and when it came to my dreams at night... They were extremely vivid, to the point where I would go to bed earlier at night just to be able to live a nicer, better and a more exciting life in my dreams. Night time was what I looked forward to. The period of time, where I was 5-12 was different though, I was terrified of being taken to a space craft, wouldn't sleep for days, and tried to hide at night from the "aliens" so they wouldn't take me... I was never able to figure that out. As a teenager things changed.
My dreams would be of other planets, I would be of other species in them. There would be galactic wars and space crafts, these amazing god like beings, some of them glowing with a golden hue, extremely beautiful. Or I would be in Atlantis, where I saw these amazing structures, floating kind of..."islands" that would have this energy fields covering them, kind of like protection, and ultimately one of the dreams ended in complete destruction of those islands, I remember these balls of energy hitting them. Also ancient Egypt has been a regular, I also have this one dream, where I just feel myself, there is really no form, I am just "above" somewhere, and I go to Earth, whenever I am summoned by someone. It was like watching these blockbuster movies in 3D every night... And not just that but being a part of them.
Spirituality has definitely played a part in my life, in high school I became aware of truly having a soul and just.. Being one with "one", if that makes sense? Started meditating.. Trying to connect with something, I didn't really at that time have any names for things, I kind of had an idea of what I thought of this universe to be, but it was all very fuzzy. I just experimented. I had outer body experiences, lucid dreaming and practiced shaping my environment to my liking, kind of like just directing my own dreams, which is a lot of fun.
What really put my life into a new perspective was a dream I wrote about to Gary. It had a profound effect on me, like.. Not only are we one, but there is a purpose to everything. In it I am on this planet of fire. There is a huge tower that I am walking towards and when I reach it, I walk the stairs inside it to the top level. There is a being in there and I tell him: "I have come to conquer you." The being introduces himself as "the engineer" or "the technician" of the universe, he tells me it is his job to make sure that everything in it works as it should. Then he motions me to come forward, which is what I do. He has built a miniature universe, and a scene folds open in front of my eyes. We are standing at the edge of the universe and I am seeing the universe being born, how planets and solar systems come to life and how they die... How civilizations on these planets are born and die. I cannot explain in words what I saw and experienced... Not only was it intricate and beautiful, I was able to comprehend the relations of different events, able to understand and follow the whole evolution of the universe. It was like I was watching a 100 movies at the same time or reading a 100 stories at the same time.
Towards the end of the dream "the engineer", as he called himself, froze the view in front of me, and told me that how the planets are positioned now in the frozen scene are in those positions, where they were, when I was born. And then he told me he cannot tell me more... That I would have to figure out the rest on my own. And then he sent me back to Earth.
I woke up in the morning and I was extremely intrigued. I have similar dreams that seem more... Meaningful I suppose one would say.
I see dreams every night, last night I was watching the Earth from inside a space craft. I feel blessed in a way that.. Whatever my experiences mean or are in my "dream, double life", they have certainly made me look further into connecting with what the Law of One would call higher self, or many other "movements" as well.
Anyway, I hope to read more of your stories here on this forum... And share some of mine as well. Thank you for taking the time out to read this, hope you have a good day.
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - Brittany - 04-29-2011
Wow, what awesome dreams! And people say *I* have vivid dreams! We'd love to have you on the Dream Thread...I'm just about the only one who keeps up with it anymore. We need more dreams!
I almost never dream of aliens, even though I've *begged* them to come to me. I dreamed about getting abducted once...the aliens were mean, but instead of being scared I thought it was cool...haven't heard from them again. :p
Welcome to the forum!!!
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - Ankh - 04-29-2011
lol, ahktu!! Don't scare the poor thing! (kiiidding!)
Hey, awesome dreams! You should definitely share some of them in the above mentioned thread.
And welcome to the family, ehum, forum!
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - Confused - 04-29-2011
(04-29-2011, 05:50 PM)Ankh Wrote: lol, ahktu!! Don't scare the poor thing! (kiiidding!)
Yes, ahktu, don't scare the individual off! :@
That mission belongs to Ankh and I on this forum
Just being funny, Laurathena. I am very happy to see you here and I hope you enjoy the community, just like many of us do. Welcome to home, in a sense
And yes, what vivid dreams you have! I think great spiritual lessons could be gained from them.
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - AnthroHeart - 04-29-2011
I've had one alien visitation dream that was positive. Never really have had those vivid of dreams as you've experienced. Would be nice to experience some past lives in them. Welcome to the forum!
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - Unbound - 04-29-2011
I envy all you exciting dreamers! Unfortunately I do unpleasant work in my dream state and I quite prefer to not remember upon waking up. Welcome and blessings, may your passings be of peace, adonai.
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - kycahi - 04-29-2011
No, everybody, you're wrong. Vivid dreams like that are a sign of insanity. And I"m not just saying that because I'm jealous. Oh no! Well, maybe a little. Okay, I'm jealous a lot. and I'm kidding too.
Welcome to your new oldest friends over here at B4th. You can ask any question at any time but, of course, you are especially privileged to ask real dumb ones now.
Thanks for being here, Laurathena.
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - Ankh - 04-30-2011
(04-29-2011, 10:58 PM)kycahi Wrote: ...you are especially privileged to ask real dumb ones now.
Yeah, now is your chance. If you continue with it later, you will be locked in a Treehouse thread!
(Kiidding!)
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - Eddie - 04-30-2011
Yes, Laurathena, you belong here. I do hope you can come to the next Homecoming. You and Ahktu and I will have a great deal to discuss.
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - Laurathena - 05-02-2011
Hey guys
Thanks for all the replies. And here's the first dumb question, I was lying in my bed (awake) like half an hour ago, when I clearly heard this voice in my head: "You need to find Dean, search for him"... Now I don't know anyone named Dean, this is like a shot in the dark, but is any of you Dean? Know anyone by that name? (And yes... a last name would have been helpful, lol).
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - Ankh - 05-02-2011
(05-02-2011, 01:48 AM)Laurathena Wrote: Hey guys
Mmmm.... Dean.... Dean Winchester... (or an acter acting as Dean Winchester, also named as lovely Jensen Ackles)
I was following this TV show, about good and evil, Demons and Angels, and after a while it seemed like Demons wasn't always bad, and Angels wasn't always good. They just had their own roles to play, and their own place in the world, like everybody else. The name of the show is Supernatural and I loved it! Eeeh sorry for the rant. I don't know any other Dean(s).
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - Meerie - 05-02-2011
Hello Laura, welcome to the forum!
If I dream a name for example, I always look up the meaning. For the meaning of the name "Dean" I got:
Dean \dean\ as a boy's name is pronounced deen. It is of Old English origin, and the meaning of Dean is "valley; church official". Place name, or occupational name signifying a church official or the head of a school. The name also means "law" in Hebrew.
Could it be you were looking for the law? The LOO? You found it!
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - Laurathena - 05-02-2011
Hey Meerie,
thanks for the tip, I didn't even think of going about it like that, I would have been looking for the guy for weeks, lol. Thanks for looking up the name too, the meaning of it makes a whole lot of sense and I think I know why I was told that too... lol.
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - Confused - 05-02-2011
(05-02-2011, 03:57 AM)Laurathena Wrote: thanks for the tip, I didn't even think of going about it like that, I would have been looking for the guy for weeks, lol.
May be you should not discount that as well!
Strange things happen in the universe and at b4th as well.
As above, so below!
RE: Wondering if I am a wanderer - AlexRussian2705 - 05-07-2011
Love those dreams of other planets,i remember when the "AVATAR" trailer came out,i felt like i have already seen Pandora,been there,it felt weird.
Floating islands with buildings on them.