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Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-25-2012
In virtually every ancient culture Lucifer is known as the King of the World. And goes by many names and legends.
It is in Christianity alone that the name becomes synoymous with evil and their own character creation whcih they call the devil.
In no other place besides Chrsitendom is there a creature known as the devil in the guise of the Christian concept, which has been cloned and adopted by many cults and worshippers of darkness since.
Lucifer is usually associated in some way with the first of the beings which came to earth during its creation, being the lord among them and their leader. Many gnostic teachings refer to these as the Archangels, and many legends abound with regard to what is called the fall of this Lucifer. some say the Fall is nothing more than the descent from the higher dimensiosn to this one for the purpose of the creating of it. the fall of the divine spiritual to the physical manifestations. others teach that the fall is a product of that Angels actual enjoyment of the virtues of this manifestation. others suggest it to be some disobediance regarding the Source, God, Infinite Spirit, One Consciousness wanting it to bow down to the man that it had created. others still claim that the fall occurred when Lucifer mated with a human female.
Many of these ancient legends get intertwined and combined with each other. However virutally all of them acknwoledge that Lucifer was a being that arrived here to create the planet and is credited with the title as King of the World. Even the Christians who perverted this teaching still acknowledge that he was once the brightest star and the most beloved of God.
Some other names used to refer to Lucifer are Sanat Kumara, telek Maus, Murrugan, Dionysus, vulcan. and many others.
It is even taught among occultists and gnostics that lucifer is actually the Goddess which mediates between the Infinite Spirit and matter. Often depicted as a dragon because that is how the Goddess is always viewed. And what many think is the slaying of the dragon in religious artwork is actually the archangel representing the goddess establishing the divine connection between matter and spirit through the shaft, which always represents the spine of the Tree of Life. the dragon actually represents the flesh, matter, the physical, being injected with the light and knowledge of the Spirit through the shaft. many Christians of course have interpreted these ancient symbols to mean the devil being slain by the angel Michael or george.
The dragon has always been the serpent which has always represented the Goddess in the ancient religions. the Goddess has always represented the manifestation of the physical material aspects of creation having spawned directly from the Source, Infinite Spirit, as the poalrity of or female aspect of the One God. hense we have God/ Spirit/Sun/male and its polarity the Goddess/matter/moon/ female. The Goddess fell from, spawned from or descended from the Spirit becoming matter, and did so in the spiralling fashion that we see with galaxies and vortexes, and thus her serpentine aspects. The serpent becoming the dragon in many cultures.
and so when these legends become intertwined, we have this Goddess and the Archangel coming to create the earth, one being the same as the other, and in some cases even referred to as adrogynous twins, represented as male and female aspects of the same being, also represented as serpents. And when a particluar relgiion completely mismanaged these legends Lucifer becomes both a snake and dragon.
This symbology of the twin serpents is also seen in another ancient symbol which may answer many questions for some of you. but I will leave you to look up the meaning of the Caduceus. the Tree of life with the twin serpents of male and female needing to be awakened within us so that we become aware of our true idenity. the awakening of Kundalini to many.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Unbound - 02-25-2012
This sounds strangely connected with the idea of Sanat Kumara, do you have any thoughts on that?
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-25-2012
(02-25-2012, 08:59 PM)Azrael Wrote: This sounds strangely connected with the idea of Sanat Kumara, do you have any thoughts on that?
You might wnat to refresh my post Azrael, I have been editing it as I went along and did make mention to sanat.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Unbound - 02-25-2012
Yes, I just saw that as I checked here again, cheers!
Excellent, this is confirming much of what I had already considered myself, I appreciate your scholarship, my friend. Blessings
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-25-2012
(02-25-2012, 09:21 PM)Azrael Wrote: Yes, I just saw that as I checked here again, cheers!
yes, and note how the name Sanat, can be easily mistaken for satan. There is much misinterpretation and misrepresentation, deliberate and innocently ignorant, throughout religious history.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Unbound - 02-25-2012
True enough, I have some deep meditation to do, there has been an enourmous alignment and shift in my life today, a challenge which I have never faced before in this body. Thank you for your humble guidance, One.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-25-2012
I wish you well Azrael.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - JustLikeYou - 02-25-2012
Thank you for your response to my request, Shin'Ar.
In your understanding, what is responsible for the creation of the highly sophisticated shadow government which appears to be directed by a cabal of what you would call Sons of Belial?
Or, to put it another way, is there an original source of the great sway that evil has on this planet?
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - godwide_void - 02-26-2012
I ended up looking into "Sanat Kumara" which ended up leading me to reading about the Photon Belt and mainly more into the Ascended Masters, and has given me a whole slew of other topics to read further into. Once again, thank you Shin'ar.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-26-2012
The important thing to keep in mind here is that many of these various so called deities are simply various cultures speaking about the same entities in sometimes different and sometimes similar ways.
The interest for us is in that they are all related in some way to the beginnings of this planet and its history, and they are somehow seen as coming from or being God.
We know that in earth's beginnings visitors came here that were far different from the human, which was more than likely still in its primitive human form, probably still in second denstiy as Ra would describe it. And these visitors, whether we choose to call them archangels, the Goddess, or gods, or extraterrestrials, according to our ancient records and teachings had some intervention with us that altered the course of our evolutionary process.
And although many cultures worship these as deities, we should be advanced enough in our understanding to realize the folly of this. Having said that, connection with such beings, if it possible, in whatever forms they may offer themselves now, their fields of consciousness is certainly going to present the opportunity of sharing ancient knowledge.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-26-2012
(02-25-2012, 10:53 PM)JustLikeYou Wrote: Thank you for your response to my request, Shin'Ar.
In your understanding, what is responsible for the creation of the highly sophisticated shadow government which appears to be directed by a cabal of what you would call Sons of Belial?
Or, to put it another way, is there an original source of the great sway that evil has on this planet?
The word evil is used as a measurement of separation from what one individual may suggest as a direction away from good. That line would be extremely subjective and individual. Much like the word warm, there are many various degrees of it that each individual would experience and choose to call hot at different points. That which is thought evil to one may not be evil to another so We do not like to use the term.
If we think in terms of darkness and light we must consider that blending of the two and the many degrees in between.
Many of the ancients do not really speak of evil, they always speak in terms of darkness and light. What is always spoken of as darkness is reincarnation, flesh and death. But that is fodder for another thread.
The one thing that we can be certain of is that there was always war with one faction battling against another. And it is always a struggle for control and power over those of the earth.
The ancients speak of the gods doing battle and causing massive destruction to the world. Were these alien wars? Were these wars between the angels of creation; the first higher beings to come here?
We only have the records and the symbols. But it seems that there have been higher powers in contest for the control of this planet since its earliest times. And it would be foolhardy to think that one side or another did not become victorious in some fashion. There is rarely a tie in war.
And when we consider what has become the nature of our existence on this planet throughout our history it is obvious that a battle for control has been ongoing. It would also be foolish not to acknowledge that there is an elite power working far behind the theatre of events, who's presence hides mysteriously cloaked from the norms of humanity. We all know they are. The whispers about them and the conspiracies abound.
Life at the top of the ladder is a very different experience than most humans have. Everytime the price of a thing goes up, one hears all along the line that it was raised because someone above them put it up. but at some point we get to the one who began the increase who has noone above them, and who put the price up for no other reason than they wanted more for themselves than they already had. And that does not mean money when obviously they already have far more than they could possible spend. The more that they desire is control and power to continue the manipulation.
We know this is not one person alone. We know there are many that serve their greed in such ways. Without compassion for humanity they live a completely separate existence from the rest of us. These are the elite. And it is their selfishness that makes them dark.
It is also their attitude and character that is seen throughout the human population as power struggles and greed regardless of positions of influence. We know that higher beings arrived here at some point and began to influence primitive humanity, possibly even genetically. Did they develop into groups of STS and STO? It certainly seems that was the case.
So to assume that there are dark and light forces out there struggling to counteract each other is not only logical, but also in line with the nature of the universe around us with regard to absoluetly everything needing to be balanced and having polarity.
Whether one chooses to consider those who would be swayed toward greed and selfishness to be dark or not is a matter of opinion. But when we compare that type of character to that of one who practices love and compassion, it is easy enough to make that distinction.
And when we consider the things that have attracted those of the 'dark', we see obvious common elements that define them. The love of wealth, the lust of the flesh and the need to acknowledged by their peers as a part of that system. We see that there are things that this physical world has to offer that can be enticing to us all. There are few humans that would not be attracted and lured by such luxury and satisfaction. The first beings to come here became enamored with these offerings and gave themselves over to these lusts and gratifications.
But some of them became aware of the intensity of the lust and the addiction that it could become. They became cautious of its lure and very real danger. They chose not to allow themselves to give themselves over to it completely in such a way that the physical was all that mattered to them. They knew, as did their counterparts, that there is far more to existence than the fulfilment of self gratification, and they became guarded against it.
Now whether or not one chooses to distinguish between these two types as dark and light does not change the fact that this is the way of the human existence here on this planet in this density.
According to Ra that will change in the next because those of the vibratory frequencies of STS will all go to one place and those of STO will all go to another place. Similar fields attracting similar fields. In that density the experience of each will be very different from each other. I would not want to live in such an STS oriented experience as that where virtually every being cares only for their own self.
Heaven and hell? Good and evil? Light or dark? Its origins and who is at fault?
What matters is not how we define it. What should matter is what we evolve into. It has always been about choice, and love for others instead of love for one's self at the expense of others. It has always been about being One, or being one alone. Both are the same, our true identity is always intact, but the expression of love and compassion has always been simple choice.
It is at the threshold of that choice where the origin of evil and darkness is found, because the Infinite Light cannot help but to love itself, and as in all of creation there is a polarity to that. The All is evolving back to its origin and that is Light. The path to evolve and rise is then obvious. The other path is obviously not going to be as direct.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - JustLikeYou - 02-26-2012
Thank you again. I did not intend to convey a distorted question by using the word "evil", but now I know better. I use this word as a shorthand for identifying STS just as I use "good" as a shorthand for identifying STO. I am aware that these words have as much cultural baggage as the word "God", but it is sometime a convenient shorthand. I'll be more careful next time.
There is a reason that I ask this question. I hope I am not opening a large can of worms -- I also hope that this subject can be discussed without too much polarization of opinion -- but there is a source floating around the internet concerning this very subject. An interview was conducted on a webforum (much like what we are doing now) with a person who identified himself/herself as "Hidden Hand" and claimed to be a member of the top echelon of the ruling elite.
This person said a great many things in the course of the interview. The most prominent feature of this interview, in my view, was that this person gave an account of the being called Lucifer. In this account, Lucifer is an angelic in the same native density as Ra, but this being was charged with a challenge: Earth was seen as providing a very poor environment for the evolution of spirit because it was too comfortable (the Garden of Eden). Lucifer's challenge was to spark greater evolution. After a period of study, Lucifer concluded that the STS polarity would have to be introduced directly into the atmosphere of the planet so that a stronger drive to evolve could be developed in the humans who lived therein. After a series of dramatic events, Lucifer, a supremely STO entity, found itself in a karmic contract to remain on Earth and continue to offer the STS path in order to continue to accelerate the evolutionary dynamo on Earth. Hidden Hand's claim is that the upper echelon of which Hidden Hand is a part is composed entirely of members of the greater entity Lucifer. According to this claim, it was never the intention of Lucifer to dip into the lower vibrations of STS once again after so many eons of evolution beyond them, but circumstances demanded this mission.
You will find a single reference to Lucifer within the Ra material. I shall quote it for you:
77.17
Ra Wrote:Let us illustrate by observing the relative harmony and unchanging quality of existence in one of your, as you call it, primitive tribes. The entities have the concepts of lawful and taboo, but the law is inexorable and all events occur as predestined. There is no concept of right and wrong, good or bad. It is a culture in monochrome. In this context you may see the one you call Lucifer as the true light-bringer in that the knowledge of good and evil both precipitated the mind/body/spirits of this Logos from the Edenic conditions of constant contentment and also provided the impetus to move, to work and to learn.
This quotation seems consonant with the story given by Hidden Hand. I do not mean to imply that the Lucifer you speak of and this Lucifer are the same entity. As you well know, these are only names. Rather, I am interested in the story and whether it is traceable to other traditions, other stories, besides just these two.
Also, you will find the entire interview with Hidden Hand here.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-26-2012
There are legends about the interaction of the "angels' being for the purpose of saving the human from its vices. There are also legends about angels coming to save other angels from this same vice. And there are legends which describe those who dhoose to remain in the grip of such vices for their own love of them.
I cannot really discuss third hand situations as you have laid them out here, but what you are describing sounds to me like a hodgepodge of those legends intermingled with each other. It sounds erroneous and a little backwards if you will.
As with all legends passed down to us it is not surprising that they become twisted in such ways.
As for this elite informant, I would say credibility is already questionable right from the start.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Unbound - 02-26-2012
Another thought came to mind that I thought may be relevant here, that of the Dweller/Guardian of the Threshold, what do you think of this concept and does it have any relation to the Lord of the World?
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-26-2012
(02-26-2012, 05:53 PM)Azrael Wrote: Another thought came to mind that I thought may be relevant here, that of the Dweller/Guardian of the Threshold, what do you think of this concept and does it have any relation to the Lord of the World?
I do not know what you refer to Azrael. In my way of comprehending the Astral Gate, if that is what you speak of, it is the Goddess who both guards the way and is the way.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Unbound - 02-26-2012
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guardian_of_the_Threshold
I understand what you are saying, and I do believe we are on the same page here.
Sounds like a perception resulting from a fear of the Goddess, hmm. I will consider.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Oceania - 02-26-2012
that lightbringer could have just not meddled. there's no need for evolution. paradise is the destination.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-26-2012
One cannot stand at the threshold between the worlds without confronting that one thing that has for many incarnations stood in their path; their attachment to the flesh. The only way to overcome that barrier and pass through that Astral Gate is by realizing one's true identity as The One and connecting to that Intelligent Infinity and Intelligent Energy.
The struggle to achieve that victory between flesh/matter and spirit has forever been portrayed as a battle with demons and monsters of all sorts, even causing many of the legends to become distorted creating evil dragons out of the Serpent Goddess.
Once one becomes enlightened they realize that the true serpent has already risen and opened that gateway to them, and the very natural transition from the material world to the spirit world takes place just as the wind blows across the surface of a lake. Their field of consciousness becomes one with the field of the One Consciousness enabling transitions of many sorts and great sharing of energies and information.
The fear of the Goddess is twofold. There is the fear of her manipulated portrayals as a dragon, which has been perverted into everything from the devil to Medusa. And then there is the fear of doing battle with that which she represents; the flesh and the material world that most love so much. The fear of leaving behind the familiar to journey into the unknown. The fear of leaving behind all that you love for a stranger.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Unbound - 02-26-2012
That being said, what would you define the Astral Gate as, exactly?
You are confirming all that I have thought myself, and I feel frustrated with my own obvious sense of attachment. I have died in this life before, why should this time be any more difficult? I suppose this time it has to be a conscious choice, hm.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-26-2012
(02-26-2012, 06:13 PM)Azrael Wrote: That being said, what would you define the Astral Gate as, exactly?
You are confirming all that I have thought myself, and I feel frustrated with my own obvious sense of attachment. I have died in this life before, why should this time be any more difficult? I suppose this time it has to be a conscious choice, hm.
I cannot locate it without some difficulty right now except to say that you can find a very good description of it in Book 1 of the Ra material.
That group says something about the ability to draw in energies through this vortex opening and create a two way passage.
That is a poor paraphrase, and I will try to see if i jotted it down in my notes.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Unbound - 02-26-2012
I will express my confusion. What I am trying to establish is whether there is a relation between the Astral Gate and astral projection/traveling/dreaming, and in this case also what/where this "vortex opening" is?
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-26-2012
Azrael, this is not the exact passage that I spoke of but it is similar. This is from session 6
The spiritual body energy field is a
pathway, or channel. When body and mind are receptive and open, then
the spirit can become a functioning shuttle or communicator from the
entity’s individual energy/will upwards, and from the streamings of the
creative fire and wind downwards.
The healing ability, like all other, what this instrument would call,
paranormal abilities, is affected by the opening of a pathway or shuttle into
intelligent infinity. There are many upon your plane who have a random
hole or gateway in their spirit energy field, sometimes created by the
ingestion of chemicals such as, what this instrument would call LSD, who
are able, randomly and without control, to tap into energy sources. They
may or may not be entities who wish to serve. The purpose of carefully and
consciously opening this channel is to serve in a more dependable way, in a
more commonplace or usual way, as seen by the distortion complex of the
healer. To others there may appear to be miracles. To the one who has
carefully opened the door to intelligent infinity this is ordinary; this is
commonplace; this is as it should be. The life experience becomes somewhat
transformed. The great work goes on.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Unbound - 02-26-2012
I presume they are referring to the Spirit part of what they refer to as the "mind/body/spirit complex"?
Since this is not the same as when they refer to the "ray" bodies.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-26-2012
(02-26-2012, 06:25 PM)Azrael Wrote: I will express my confusion. What I am trying to establish is whether there is a relation between the Astral Gate and astral projection/traveling/dreaming, and in this case also what/where this "vortex opening" is?
The answer to your second question about the 'where' has been the holy grail of virtually every quest and occult ritual ever partaken. It is the cup of Christ as well as the cauldron used in Druid ceremony. It is the well that is created that opens the pathway between the worlds.
In my opinion this is the Sacred Mandorle that I have spoken to you about. It is that sacred space that is created between your field of consciousness, or sphere, and the much larger field of consciousness of the One. It is in that divine connection that the gate is opened and the powers shared. And it can only be opened by realization that we are the One Consciousness, or as Ra would call it, the Intelligent Infinity.
Now to answer your first question about astral projection is a little more diffcult. Depending on the intuitive ability of an individual, they may experience such travel without having to understand their true identity as the One. astral travel is more of an out of body experience that cam be triggered by various stimuli and suppression of the physical reality. If one can be more spiritual than physical some can actually travel within their field of consciousness leaving the body behind. This is similar to what Ra spoke of as traveling by thought, though not exactly identical.
(02-26-2012, 06:39 PM)Azrael Wrote: I presume they are referring to the Spirit part of what they refer to as the "mind/body/spirit complex"?
Since this is not the same as when they refer to the "ray" bodies.
I would say that when that group speaks of ray bodies they are speaking of particular vibrations and frequencies that we emit. Where as when we speak of spirit we are speaking of our field of consciousness, which is also a vibration, but it is also that one particular ray that contains the shared information of the All that both connects us to the One and also separates us from the One. It is the root of our fragmentism that makes us the polarity of the source as is the Goddess. It is our female aspect to the male aspect of the Source. It is the spiralling vortex via which we spawned from the Source, and how we must also return to it. The fragmented consciousness of the One Consciousness that experiences existence from our eye.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Unbound - 02-26-2012
Aha Well glad to know I'm on the right trail, and I believe I am in agreement with you and this has cleared up and aligned much of which I was uncertain and only had considerations of. I think I will now be able to begin to open this field of connection more consciously, although I believe I already have been for some time.
I believe there is a trick, to first uniting the duality (cross your vision until it once again aligns) and then perceiving through the Mandorle of the Vesica Piscis. I have often seen that many openings of perception are preceded by appropriate eye movements. I will consider this more. Often I begin to see a mandala in the center of my focus, always the same one, and it has gradually grown in size, I think I need to open it up to my whole vision.
Okay, I wonder why I am not drawn to astral travel at all, perhaps more I will learn.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-26-2012
It is not like walking through a doorway with your physical body.
It is more like having your lifeforce absorbed into a vortex, similar to trying to look around behind your eyelids when your eyes are closed. If you focus your gaze outward you will see what I mean. As you feel your perception move back and forth, even though you are not seeing via the physical attachment of your eyes to your brain, you can slightly experience what it must be like for the One to gaze out upon its creation without the use of eyeballs.
This is why the transformation cannot be made if we are still attached to our physical senses.
However I realize that we have strayed far from the OP and will likely soon be moderated. This may be topic for another thread.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Unbound - 02-26-2012
Yes, I was just getting the same sense, and I would indeed like to discuss this further because it is precisely on my mind.
I know exactly what you are talking about, and I realize that I've already been experiencing it for a long time but didn't know what it actually was. Maybe I'm not so attached as I thought, since I have clearly left my body in this way many times. I understand the vortex which I see now. Thank you very much for this discussion.
However, in a way this is quite relevant to the discussion of Lucifer.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Shin'Ar - 02-26-2012
(02-26-2012, 07:05 PM)Azrael Wrote: Yes, I was just getting the same sense, and I would indeed like to discuss this further because it is precisely on my mind.
I know exactly what you are talking about, and I realize that I've already been experiencing it for a long time but didn't know what it actually was. Maybe I'm not so attached as I thought, since I have clearly left my body in this way many times. I understand the vortex which I see now. Thank you very much for this discussion.
However, in a way this is quite relevant to the discussion of Lucifer.
Yes it most certainly is. But many here would not understand the connection I am afraid. if you would like to start another thread I will keep an 'eye' out for it.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - Unbound - 02-26-2012
Ha, indeed, I will likely start one later, for now I am going to meditate upon this, blessings, adonai.
RE: Luciferian Misconceptions - JustLikeYou - 02-26-2012
Thank you again, Shin'Ar. Your response concludes my questioning on this subject. And yes, the story, when summarized so dryly, is less than plausible. What makes this tale unique is the apparent vibration of this informant. And this is precisely why people are so polarized about it. How can one who claims STS vibrate so consistently STO? Nevertheless, it is only one story among many.
Shin'Ar Wrote:One cannot stand at the threshold between the worlds without confronting that one thing that has for many incarnations stood in their path; their attachment to the flesh. The only way to overcome that barrier and pass through that Astral Gate is by realizing one's true identity as The One and connecting to that Intelligent Infinity and Intelligent Energy.
The struggle to achieve that victory between flesh/matter and spirit has forever been portrayed as a battle with demons and monsters of all sorts, even causing many of the legends to become distorted creating evil dragons out of the Serpent Goddess...
...The transformation cannot be made if we are still attached to our physical senses.
What you are describing here is precisely the significance I have seen in one particular card in the Tarot, namely the one commonly called Judgment. In Ra's system, it is called the Transformation of the Spirit. This is the shedding of attachment to the physical world as a thing to be desired of itself. In doing so, the male and female selves are purified and reborn, yielding the awakening of the child within. It is the child within which lives and moves in direct contact with Intelligent Infinity, oozing with inspiration and unmovable in its feeling of joy.
Azrael Wrote:I know exactly what you are talking about, and I realize that I've already been experiencing it for a long time but didn't know what it actually was.
Ra emphasizes numerous times throughout the material that each will experience things uniquely, but it is often difficult for us to appreciate this fact, since we're all looking to understand what we experience by listening to the descriptions of others. That you have experienced contact with Intelligent Infinity without knowing it is a common misperception, I have found.
My own experience is from the perspective of a 'career philosopher', if you will. Since a young age, I have occasionally disappeared from the world around me into a world where my questions about the nature of reality receive answers which I then bring back into the world. I do not know how common this kind of experience is, but it took me a long time to even consider that it was a kind of meditation because I was always easiest for me to engage in this process while doing a repetitive motion like a simple chore or pacing. Because I had imagined that meditation happens seated with eyes closed, I had not given the proper significance to my own personal practice. Yet my own great spiritual awakening came as a result of this practice and it brought with it all the bright, intense, joyous emotions that are commonly associated with raising the Kundalini. Somehow, my periods of contemplation seemed too common and mundane to have been a form of enlightenment.
I, like so many I know, had sold myself short. Your experiences, Azrael, are profound, so there is no need to doubt their profundity just because it does not take the same shape as the profundity that others describe to you.