A bumpy road

[JerryF]

. . .
If it's okay to ask, would you elaborate on your experience in homeless shelters and what, if any, learning you gained from your time there? If you would prefer not to share, please ignore the request.

My under-informed impression of shelters is that they are not a place of generosity and mutual support so much as they are places where one must always be on guard against theft and personal harm.

At any rate, thank you for being here and welcome!

GLB

I typically felt safe when staying at homeless housing.  Reasonable attentiveness was needed to keep possessions from being stolen.  

One in Florida had mandatory Bible study.

Salvation Army facilities offered a limit of a few nights free housing in a clean, safe dorm setting.

Food was usually free and plentiful (although some unhealthy – processed, starchy).  It was possible to get 2 or 3 free meals a day if you were willing to stand in line and associate with other homeless people.

At the largest shelter (60+ in the room), the hardest part was getting a good night’s sleep with other people coughing or talking at night.  After a few nights of not being able to get enough sleep there, my mental alertness dropped way down.  

I was touched by the generosity of Christian churches with one homeless program in Central California.  The program did not have a building for us to sleep in.  Instead, each night of the week a different church would provide us with dinner and a place to sleep.  Many of us had our own sleeping bags.

Let’s put this in perspective.  Being homeless in California is a more affluent lifestyle than what the average standard of living is in some poor countries.  We had ample food, running water, protection from the cold and felt generally safe.  

The best financed programs were the ones for veterans.  I qualified by having an honorable discharge.

There can sometimes be personality conflicts when required to share a room with someone incompatible.  And there were restrictions on freedom (signing in and out when leaving the facility, group meetings, weekly meetings with your case worker to discuss your progress).  The discomfort of all that provides motivation to move on to something better in life.

One thing you learn when you are broke financially is who your friends are.  

I learned how people will sometimes lie to qualify for aid.

The biggest lesson was that if this is the condition my life was in, I need to make some changes in what I am doing and how I am thinking.  There was time to reflect on how my choices brought me to this point and how I can make better choices in the future.

Some of the other homeless people I encountered were into blaming others for their condition in life:  “My life is screwed up because of what my boss or ex-wife did to me.”

With the availability of abundant homeless aid comes the temptation to be a habitual taker who does not give back; focusing on “working the system” to see how much you can get for yourself.  To combat that tendency, some programs require residents to do weekly volunteer work in their community.  My volunteer work included working at local libraries and doing data entry for Habitat for Humanity.

I'm glad that phase is over.  I'm doing much better in life nowadays.  Doing a lot of trombone playing in community bands and even some trombone teaching.  There's a lot to be grateful for in my life.  Every day is a gift to be appreciated.

For an inspirational account of homeless living, I recommend Liz Murray’s book/movie, Homeless to Harvard.  She’s an amazing woman who was able to excel in high school and graduate from Harvard despite coming from a severely dysfunctional family and being homeless as a teenager.

Jerry