I'm choosing the negative path.

[Highrculling]

I suggest you place yourself into a place where there is a lot of Life going on, like a big, crowdy supermarket, get close to people who are vibrant and who have a lot to look for. Their aura will automatically alleviate your own, without much conscious effort on your part. If you are not getting involved with people very deeply, then don't. There's a lot of space between that and 'routine interaction', it will be good for you. Just don't try to take it on your own, and keep it to yourself. Also try to disconnect with your faculty of 'ruthless reasoning' and intellectual brain, at this point it will probably kill any initiative you can come up with. Suspend the trading business, at least for a while. Try to listen to your intuition. Try to put some rhythm into your day, and have some rest. Apply for a comfortable job and settle down a bit. Be straightforward. Ask for help. You will inevitably have it. I pray for you.