Negative Wanderer.

[DVA]

You say you are bored, then you say you're enraged, then you say you love nature, then you say you're bored again.

Rage and love aren't boredom. You can't be bored and enraged at the same time.

You ask why you exist here. Safe bet it has to do with rage and boredom. They are both part of your catalyst.

Maybe your lesson is to learn to amuse yourself. If you were omnipotent, what amusement would you construct for yourself?

I don’t feel numb all the time, of course I have rays of light as well when I feel very well. Although, I am not sure I have ever felt happy.

When I started looking for answers, I thought as well of my life purpose being to learn how to love and receive love, because this is something I lack throughout my whole existence. But the revelation didn’t bring easiness so I think probably this is not the case.

This is a very good question you asked: the first two things I had in mind after reading it are sun and freedom.