the ultimate act of compassion - Japan

[Monica]

I agree with you, but wonder if there are any limits to what can be writen with words and still be unchecked because we "might misinterpret the intentions of another"?

Absolutely! That's why we have forum guidelines.

However, much of the time, the comments in question fall into a very grey area. It's very subjective to decide whether the comment itself is offensive, or whether the person just misinterpreted it.

For example, awhile back a member asked me to ban someone, and gave examples of perceived rudeness. I showed the examples to the other mods and none of us could figure out what exactly was deserving of banning!

I was once a mod for another forum, in which the owner of the forum would sometimes ban a member because s/he disagreed. There was also a great deal of censorship on that forum; members' posts could be edited without notice, to show a homogenized viewpoint. I witnessed members leaving because of the censorship.

Here, we don't censor, and have very modest requests in terms of guidelines. Some members think we should be stricter and ban other members more readily. But, thus far, no one has offered a clear, concise suggestion as to precisely how we would make these decisions. If we ban one member because another member perceived their words as rude, what happens when someone else says the same about the other member? Do you see how easily we could get trigger-happy with the ban button?

Can anyone write whatever hurtful answers to other selves in this forum and get away with it when others self do get hurt because we might have misinterpreted something? I am refering you to this thread in this case and is genuinely curious about your opinion as I think it was one of the posts that was reason to this situation:
http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=2444

I assume you are referring to the term whiny in this statement made by zenmaster:

I've heard many, many whiny complaints about one's circumstances - being that of a prison, or what not, over the years.

Let's dissect this.

The presupposition here is that the term whiny was used in reference to norral, as explained by norral here.

But that is a presupposition. Do we know that for sure? Re-read the statement. Is he explicitly addressing norral? Or is it possible he is making a generalization?

If the former, then yes, the statement has crossed the boundary into disrespect. Such opinions are better left unsaid, as they serve no constructive purpose. (I might think that a person is foolish, or whiny, or selfish, or whatever, but I wouldn't tell them that, unless they explicitly asked me for my opinion. In other words, it's common courtesy to keep our less-than-flattering opinions to ourselves in public.)

If the latter...then it was simply misinterpreted. It's entirely possible that the subject of the thread triggered a stream of consciousness, and zenmaster was simply musing. His mind might have already traveled 10 miles downstream from the thread's origination, and he was lost in thoughts about whiny people in prison, or whatever. He might not even have been thinking of norral at all when he made that comment. If that's the case, then this entire discord has been the result of a gross misunderstanding!

When reading such an ambiguous statement, I think it's wise to consider the various ways in which it might have been intended. Our first interpretation might be totally wrong!

The problem is, do I, as mod, have the right, or even the ability, to judge such a statement? How do I know I am assessing it accurately?

The only person who knows for sure is the person who wrote it.