09-24-2019, 03:11 PM
(09-24-2019, 02:29 PM)Scah Wrote: Hi Caitlin,
I am wondering if the following would be helpful for you.
At times of hardship (mentally or physically) I always try to remind myself that I am my own creator.
You are currently living through the consequences of your prior ego.
There is no escape from the consequences that oneself created in the past.
It's part of redeeming oneself to oneself by understanding and resolving products of the past self.
The good news is that this new found awareness brings new beginning.
I always like to ask myself that as a creator with a new beginning, who would I like to create within myself at this moment (this time around)?
And let the answer guide me.
And yes, every awareness of oneself as a whole in any given moment brings a new beginning.
So to answer your original question: No, no one is doomed forever as long as one can be aware of oneself as a whole not just the mere ego that one projects.
That's just it... I was ONLY an ego. I didn't know anything else. It's like I'm not a Self at all. And I'm so lost and enraged and ashamed and scared now. I never built a true character so now that the ego has shattered, there's nothing inside to build. I was basically hollow inside and depended on my exterior to mask the empty interior.
It doesn't feel possible to recover from this at all, and that is why I feel damned.