I know there are people here much farther along the trail, so I am sure someone has been here.
It's been weird, after a 3 year dark night, and ego death that left me empty I have recovered and healed I would say the bulk of my distortions of which I had tons so of course there is still work to do. I am peaceful mostly, no real pain or desire for much.
I discussed in another thread how it seems a lot of people would now find me boring because I do not want anything but quiet, and to love. Well food/shelter/freedom but I have no interest really in exploring any new hobbies or experiencing things just to experience them.
It feels oddly like I am some 80+ year old that has packed up because they are moving on, and they will unpack in the new place.
I run a small business, garden, go to the gym and have a few close friends/husband but everyone else is in expansion mode. Building or, amassing stuff and experiences, always looking for something more or better. I do not want to.
I would like more time spent with those I cherish, and I enjoy my modest but safe and comfortable home, good food/good company but I want nothing further. It feels weird like everyone else is being swept up in the same wave but me in the same body of water am not effected by the draw of the current.
Someone told me as you heal you become content with less. I am content. It just feels weird to be this in a world experiencing that. I am told I have another 40 years so a long time to be packed up. Maybe I have misunderstood about the 40 years ad I am right on schedule. lol Who knows.
I don't really want to unpack to much though, I am not interested in getting swept up in things(perhaps karma) again.
Curious if anyone here can relate.
It feels weird and the contrast of being surrounded buy people obsessed with purchases and ambitions, changing things and how people perceive them is kind of a new layer of feeling like a fish out of water in a way I guess.
No real upset here just it's been on my mind as "packing up" seems like a strange thing to have done this early even to me.
It is new the the last year I would say so maybe it just takes getting used to.
It's been weird, after a 3 year dark night, and ego death that left me empty I have recovered and healed I would say the bulk of my distortions of which I had tons so of course there is still work to do. I am peaceful mostly, no real pain or desire for much.
I discussed in another thread how it seems a lot of people would now find me boring because I do not want anything but quiet, and to love. Well food/shelter/freedom but I have no interest really in exploring any new hobbies or experiencing things just to experience them.
It feels oddly like I am some 80+ year old that has packed up because they are moving on, and they will unpack in the new place.
I run a small business, garden, go to the gym and have a few close friends/husband but everyone else is in expansion mode. Building or, amassing stuff and experiences, always looking for something more or better. I do not want to.
I would like more time spent with those I cherish, and I enjoy my modest but safe and comfortable home, good food/good company but I want nothing further. It feels weird like everyone else is being swept up in the same wave but me in the same body of water am not effected by the draw of the current.
Someone told me as you heal you become content with less. I am content. It just feels weird to be this in a world experiencing that. I am told I have another 40 years so a long time to be packed up. Maybe I have misunderstood about the 40 years ad I am right on schedule. lol Who knows.
I don't really want to unpack to much though, I am not interested in getting swept up in things(perhaps karma) again.
Curious if anyone here can relate.
It feels weird and the contrast of being surrounded buy people obsessed with purchases and ambitions, changing things and how people perceive them is kind of a new layer of feeling like a fish out of water in a way I guess.
No real upset here just it's been on my mind as "packing up" seems like a strange thing to have done this early even to me.
It is new the the last year I would say so maybe it just takes getting used to.