"I am"
10-17-2018, 09:40 PM, (This post was last modified: 10-17-2018, 10:24 PM by Stranger.)
"I am"
Someone posted earlier about Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj.  I got curious and looked him up.  Seems that he had been told by his guru to set everything else aside, and "focus on the feeling of 'I am'".  He began doing that consistently, and was surprised by how quickly he began to experience feelings of peace and joy.

I didn't get too deep into reading about him, but from this and other excerpts I gleaned that he got to experience himself as the Creator, apart from any identity-construct the Creator is overlaid with by the time he becomes, say, a human. He talks about the distinction between watching TV and realizing that you are the watcher and not in the TV, and that was pretty clear to my understanding.

It reminded me of Ramana Maharshi, whose similar method was to repeatedly ask, "who am I?", eventually reaching what appears to be the same perception as Nisargadatta - a sense of being apart from any and all experience or identity except for Being itself.

So, I decided to give it a shot today, and this will be my brief account of this.  Nothing mind-blowing happened, but I thought I'd share and see what others think or have experienced along these lines or methods.

I began by focusing on "I am"; quickly realized that repeating the words was not the answer, and shifted to attempting to "focus on the feeling of I am". 

I got very little out of that, because I ended up simply being aware of my experience, but not the experiencer.  The closest I could get to "the feeling of I am" was whatever I was feeling - the warmth of the energy flowing through my body, the feeling of love, etc.; but these are clearly still perceptions rather than the perceiver.

I had reached this before: consciousness itself appears to be something like a colorless, odorless, completely invisible "liquid" which takes on the impressions of whatever it encounters; and therefore attempting to perceive consciousness-itself had led me to nothing but futility.  I had attempted to do one more thing having to do with separating perceiver and perception, but was firmly told not to do that because it was dangerous, so I won't even describe it here; regardless, it was clearly not the path to self-realization or what-have-you.

So, then I took a different tack: mentally setting aside various experiences or layers as not-self, and focusing on what remained.  I set aside the body with all its perceptions as irrelevant; the mind with its struggling and grasping after the elusive goal of "the feeling of I am"; any emotions or cares; anything to do with this life in particular. 

Having done this, I began to perceive an entity inside the body but separate from it, somewhere in the chest, who was like a driver in the metaphorical "driver's cabin" of the body, like cranes have.  It was now able to move separately from the body, no longer being totally merged with it, and I perceived it shifting around in there, the way you might step away from a computer in a control room and just move around to stretch.

Realizing this to be just another "sheath", I set aside everything to do with that entity - all aspects of it at once - as irrelevant, and focused on what remained inside this entity.  I perceived a presence characterized only by intense curiosity about what was happening (to be clear - not by what I was doing at that moment, but by my unfolding life in general), the way you might feel while watching an exciting movie.  It wasn't doing anything - I think "the driver" entity around it was doing all the doing; at this layer, the beingness was passively fascinated by the unfolding experience, whatever it may happen to be, without judging it "good" or "bad".

Realizing that I was getting pretty deep towards the core but, also, that curiosity cannot characterize the fundamental layer of Being, I set all of that presence aside as irrelevant, and focused on what remained inside it.  I perceived an ocean - not a real ocean, of course, but whatever I was perceiving was being symbolically translated into the concept of an ocean for my benefit or understanding.  The ocean was perfectly still and tranquil, without any striving; it felt perfectly content, and I noticed that feeling spreading throughout my felt experience.  I felt an effortless loving grow in my heart, very clear but gentle. 

I set aside the ocean as irrelevant, and focused on what remained.  I perceived sort of being a spark, but I'm not sure to what extent that was an intrusion from my symbolic mind and the "you're a spark of the Creator" message I've encountered countless times.  Because I had to stop due to time constraints, I did not get a chance to really dig into that experience.

I had to end there because of time, but this seems like a potentially fruitful method.  Curious to hear your thoughts?
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10-17-2018, 10:44 PM,
RE: "I am"
First of all, WoW;.
                     Second I have been recently reading Modern views of Electricity, Sir Oliver Lodge, London, 1907.
                          and  IDk if this will apply at all but its worth the breath so to speak.

                    Electricity is incompressable. Meaning you squeeze one side, no matter what (accident pun, cause electricity is matter not energy) the other must be filled, but not necessarily instantly.

              when your a fish, im sure we all were at some point. How do you prove your floating in water? You pump it into an elastic  bag, (not a metal bucket) and measure the strain or pressure what have you. You can not fill an elastic bag ever, you can only pop it , (discharge, spark). So to properly measure whats in an elastic bag you measure the strength, not the volume. So how long before the thing pops is the only way to gain innerstanding of the source of the source.

            Idk if that make sence but chop it up how you like, boola.

Big Grinrew
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10-18-2018, 12:18 AM, (This post was last modified: 10-18-2018, 10:06 AM by Stranger.)
RE: "I am"

I tried it again, and here's what happened next.

I very effortlessly perceived the "driver" and moved past it to the "curious observer" layer, as described above.

Past that was the "ocean", as before - and I thought, maybe this is the "oceanic feeling" some writers have described when referring to a sense of awe from religion/spirituality. No matter, I moved past it.

Instead of anything to do with a spark (which, as I suspected, must have been my attempt to force my expectations onto the experience), this time I saw a naked male figure, like a 3D rendering from a game with quality set to a low setting - in the sense that the figure had very little detail; like an idealized smooth model of a human male. The figure seemed to have its eyes closed; was standing upright, motionless except for a continuous rotation around the vertical axis, like a video game character might at a selection screen. No expression or sign of life.

This was unexpected but I didn't puzzle over it much. Instead, I set everything about the figure aside as irrelevant and focused on the "me" inside it. What happened next did surprise me.

I experienced/perceived a powerful flame of energy continuously shooting forth from each of my chakra areas. It had no color, didn't look like fire, wasn't hot - "flame" just seems like the best word to describe it; it was definitely fiery in its shocking intensity. Each flame's shape was a cone with the narrow point at the chakra, shooting out upwards, and somehow blending into one strong flame but also remaining separate: I could shift my perception to see it either as one long conical flame across the chakras along the vertical axis of the body, or as multiple smaller conical flames from each chakra. Each was a continuous, shockingly powerful outpouring, like a flamethrower or the gushing of water from a fireman's hose.

It seemed primal and unintelligent, like a hurricane wind - it just does what it does and cares about nothing in its way. I felt a few blockages suddenly clear in my body.

I tried to "set it aside as irrelevant" as I had done with each layer before it, but somehow here that made no sense, like a logical impossibility. It was just there and there was nothing deeper. The force of the "flame" somehow seemed to blow the thought of "setting it aside" apart and away every time I tried to consider it, the same kind of feeling as when a strong gust of wind rips an umbrella out of your hands. Like, I would have had to fight the power of these flames to even attempt to seriously consider it (which was a very odd sensation).

So I just sat observing this experience, pleasantly fascinated. The fire(s) kept blowing. After a few minutes suddenly I was no longer aware of the fires but instead I was filled with a buzzing loving energy uniformly filling my body, which felt (sorry to be crude) like the mellow warmth of an orgasmic afterglow but without the sedation. I am still feeling it now as I type this; it's strong but not intrusive, a little electric and very pleasant.

Thus concludes Day 1 of my experiment. I haven't the foggiest what really occurred, but clearly a good thing.

(P.S. I want to be clear that no drugs or substances were involved in any way. I'm all for clean vegetarian living.)

So, there you have it. Whatever "it" is.

P.P.S. The guides have just said that this was me "connecting with the primal energies of my being and, by clearing out interference from the higher layers of my being, allowing them their full expression."

By "higher layers" they mean those more superficial/less primal layers that impede the full expression of our fundamental energies - i.e., our emotional distortions, etc.

I had "cleared out interference" from these by setting them aside as irrelevant, as described, and looking deeper at the remaining "me" within each layer.
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10-18-2018, 01:49 AM,
RE: "I am"
Thanks for trying to put into words an experience that sounds indescribable. I look forward to hearing more!
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10-18-2018, 02:17 AM,
RE: "I am"
Thank you so much for sharing your memories of your experience!

These 2 videos might help you explore further

At least, they helped me Smile
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10-18-2018, 10:44 AM, (This post was last modified: 10-18-2018, 10:48 AM by flofrog.)
RE: "I am"
Thanks so much Stranger. Just great. I have not gone beyond this silent presence which I locate sort of heart level too but behind my spine . It feels so loving and silent that I sort of do not want to go past it yet... at least for the last six years, talk about escaping progress. Big Grin. Interestingly my brother-in-law and my sister had created a meditation center a long time ago in Switzerland where they were inviting all traditions to come meditate. He had as a young man in the early fifties been sent to India and met Ramana Maharshi, and been so impressed by his kindness and peace. He in fact translated in french one or two talks of Ramana, just about the I am.
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