Difficulties with restriction of personality
08-12-2019, 12:45 AM,
#1
Difficulties with restriction of personality
Hello my friends.
I ask for your advice and help in resolving a conflict with another person and myself.

I have never intended any hardship or negative thought upon this person, yet she feels uncomfortable in my presence because our personalities does not work together. She does not want my presence.

This may seem like a simple problem, but I am very sincere in my desire for all to feel comfortable and loving around me. I do not wish to contribute to negative feelings, for even though I have done little to feel 'bad' or 'responsible' about this situation it hurts deeply inside me.

I have approached her about this, but she says she does not wish to talk about it (not right now, later).
Until that time I would wish to regain a feeling of full love towards her and not this restrictive feeling which makes my light body knit itself together at orange ray.

Because I believe my hurting feelings comes from a sense of unworthiness, That I have not been enough, that I could have been better.
That I cannot accept that she does not wish my company.
That I cannot accept her for being herself in this relationship, and I myself too - and that it simply does not work.

How can I be of service to her? My only idea is to restrict my personality, and remove the parts she dislikes while in her company.
Because I think that I am not deeply found of my personality anyway, and that it's simply a transient construct of this particular reality.

But, if she is deep in her personality, defines herself with it, should I then not respect it? And is there a way of doing this without restriction of personality?
Avoiding her altogether is an alternative, I suppose. Yet an unlikely one in my present life situation.

Can you blame anyone or yourself for being yourself.
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08-12-2019, 02:16 AM, (This post was last modified: 08-12-2019, 02:18 AM by RitaJC.)
#2
RE: Difficulties with restriction of personality
(08-12-2019, 12:45 AM)richardstephens Wrote:  Hello my friends.
I ask for your advice and help in resolving a conflict with another person and myself.

I have never intended any hardship or negative thought upon this person, yet she feels uncomfortable in my presence because our personalities does not work together. She does not want my presence.

This may seem like a simple problem, but I am very sincere in my desire for all to feel comfortable and loving around me. I do not wish to contribute to negative feelings, for even though I have done little to feel 'bad' or 'responsible' about this situation it hurts deeply inside me.

I have approached her about this, but she says she does not wish to talk about it (not right now, later).
Until that time I would wish to regain a feeling of full love towards her and not this restrictive feeling which makes my light body knit itself together at orange ray.

Because I believe my hurting feelings comes from a sense of unworthiness, That I have not been enough, that I could have been better.
That I cannot accept that she does not wish my company.
That I cannot accept her for being herself in this relationship, and I myself too - and that it simply does not work.

How can I be of service to her? My only idea is to restrict my personality, and remove the parts she dislikes while in her company.
Because I think that I am not deeply found of my personality anyway, and that it's simply a transient construct of this particular reality.

But, if she is deep in her personality, defines herself with it, should I then not respect it? And is there a way of doing this without restriction of personality?
Avoiding her altogether is an alternative, I suppose. Yet an unlikely one in my present life situation.

Can you blame anyone or yourself for being yourself.

I hear you loud and clear. Been there more times than I can count...

Let's start from the end.

What would be the purpose of that blaming? Before blaming comes judging. And judging isn't serving anybody.

I don't believe restriction of personality ever works, so I would drop that right away. There are just expressions of the Creator that feel attracted to each other and there are others that feel repelled. I would avoid that person as much as possible and do my inner work to be OK with her (and billions of other forms) not liking the form I am expressing myself as right now. I believe that is the definition of love: to let everything and everyone be as they are right now and still wish them the best.

And I believe that catalysts (and this is one, right?) are there to help us experience and learn something.

And that whatever we are experiencing as "done to us from outside" is only a mirror of what we are (often unconsciously) believing about ourselves. If you wouldn't already believe that you are not enough, that there is something wrong with your personality and be afraid that that is true, the reaction of that other person would never be able to evoke those feelings in you. You would just bless her and let her be.

When we encounter a catalyst, there is lots of inner work to do. And it's impossible for me to facilitate that work in you in this format.

A live call would be a much better one.

Drop me a DM if you're interested
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08-12-2019, 02:45 AM,
#3
RE: Difficulties with restriction of personality
In my experience it's their own feeling of unworthiness that results in them seeming to be stingy with love.

I wouldn't modify myself/personality for her. unless if my behavior is disrespectful towards her. still it would be for me.

What does it matter if they accept me if I don't accept myself.
The challenge of the positive path is accepting the self, then accepting others. in the face of difficulties like they not accepting you/themselves.
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08-12-2019, 07:28 AM,
#4
RE: Difficulties with restriction of personality
It seems you're confusing service with control.
If you've thought of all angles and tried to be mutually beneficial, you may have to wish them well and hope that, one day, they might come to a new understanding.
I've been learning the lesson of getting balanced, not even.
Hard af when destroying what's different or we don't understand, is considered normal behavior.
I was playing pubg and someone asks what everyone's least favorite animal is. A guy says 'That's easy. Possums...I'd kill them all if I could.' I asked why he felt that way n he said they were just ugly and good for nothing n he couldn't understand why I couldn't agree.
I said they look like little baby aliens n were cute. I also said that alot of the indigenous people of the world have died due to that type of viewpoint.
He rage quit.
I see why he would be offended. It's hard to get cold hard truths about how brainwashed we've become. Our ego wants to feel on par, if not superior to others and that's a condition that is designed aswell.
Everything in this system, is designed to make you fight for your place in a hierarchy and subscribe to the belief that competition is healthy. That there are winners and losers. That its human nature and natural selection. Survival of the fittest.
We don't even realize all these philosophies are actually fabricated truths which keep us willing gladiators in their slave arena.
Babylon is the hierarchy that we call 'the system'.
It wants us to be negative.
We think the solution is to embrace all things positive and shun negative.
The solution is actually to embrace both and be balanced.
If you're too much of either...there will be a snap back effect.
You see it in gangstaz, who go full on churchy...and churchy cats, who go full throttle gangsta.
The system is designed to put us on one side or the other...so we don't realize existence is all one being and our own choice determines our experience of being that 'God' or love energy.
We are God experiencing cylces of separation and reconnection.
Changing the leaders of a system designed to colonize planets, won't lead to the united perspective that helps all realize this. Replacing it with a united perspective born out of humility n grace, will.
That will only happen, when people start analyzing why they judge and separate, instead of understand and include. It will happen when we forgive, not because we don't want to feel bad about ourselves but because we see the dark place another is in and feel compassion.
I'm not saying that all people want this.
I'm saying that understanding why someone might not, from a loving place, will enable us to forgive them n let them be them, without feeling the need to punish or despise them for not agreeing with us.
Then we get to not get outta character n stay in our lane...without feeling any resentment for someone who might usually offend us.
If they don't want to get on, that's their right and it's our job to balance the feelings of abandonment we might be inclined to feel as a result.
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08-12-2019, 07:28 AM,
#5
RE: Difficulties with restriction of personality
Quote:How can I be of service to her? My only idea is to restrict my personality, and remove the parts she dislikes while in her company.
Because I think that I am not deeply found of my personality anyway, and that it's simply a transient construct of this particular reality.

Hi Richard. I agree with Rita and Cainite. When I read your question this jumped out at me because I too am experiencing something very similar. The bolded part is what really caught my eye in your question. I guess I can offer something because, I too am experiencing this type of challenge between self and other self. I also have a big heart like yourself and I would do anything to bring comfort to another BUT, is that why we are really here?
What I am asking is, is this our purpose to ignore catalyst and find ways of comfort than ways of using catalyst for growth which can be uncomfortable and many cases it is designed to be uncomfortable. The discomfort is your personal signal to "pay attention". This alarm is sounding for you more than for her because it is telling you there is something within you that may be unresolved, unbalanced. Of course I can't tell you how to balance these things which are within you because who truly can tell another how to heal themselves? Besides, you know deep within you how to heal this and it's not by curtailing your personality to meet the whims of another. There are times it is more appropriate to be quiet and other times to speak, but silencing who you are? I don't think this is balanced. You, myself and this woman are are here to express. You have every right to be as she does. Do not dishonor yourself to honor her, because in truth, you are dishonoring the both of you when you do that. We are one.
I don't know if this helped but excellent question my friend
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked
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08-12-2019, 08:13 AM, (This post was last modified: 08-12-2019, 08:18 AM by flofrog.)
#6
RE: Difficulties with restriction of personality
Hi Richard,

I too love what was said here in response to you.

In the end it is always our choice to choose what to do and how to behave. Either we choose our anxiety, our fear, telling us perhaps in this example, there might be something wrong with me, or did I do something, why is there no connection, how can I help.. etc..
or
we choose just love, whatever that person is feeling, I am just choosing to send her love and continue with my life. After all it seems she is not making any appeal to me, and it is interesting to see how the social complex of Ra would not provide service if not asked... Of course Ra is perhaps way more advanced than we are, lol Wink but it is a nice thing to remember that if we are not asked for help, and even our help seems to be rejected, then it's ok to keep walking on our own path.

so if I just keep living my now life, send love to her anyway, and continue serenely with life, I shall find it really easy to deal with her, because I am at peace myself, at peace with my choice. It's like you are giving space to both you and her. Wink
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08-12-2019, 08:21 AM,
#7
RE: Difficulties with restriction of personality
Cultivate what brings out your magic instead of your madness - If this endeavor/relationship feels like it is producing more friction than growth, leave it. As least for now.

Also,

The obstacle is the path - The options are to stop in front of it, try to climb over it, or walk around it. You cannot control the obstacle, only your response to it. Do what honors/loves both selves.
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08-12-2019, 10:06 AM,
#8
RE: Difficulties with restriction of personality
Insightful thread guys.
This is where bring4th shines. Smile

I too needed a bit of this thread, trying to selectively cover an aspect of self(open heart) to make a loved one more comfortable has been something I have tried several times and was considering again. All very timely and helpful advice. Thanks all.

It doesn’t work.
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08-12-2019, 10:59 AM,
#9
RE: Difficulties with restriction of personality
Whatever she feels for you or anyone or anything is all her—in other words, who you are and your personality or the way you do things and all things about you are not at issue. She experiences the world through her own paradigm, which includes a plethora of filters which may react and be triggered by outside sources. 

In my opinion, the best thing you can do for her and the entire world is be true to yourself. How could it help her to become someone you are not? To deny parts of yourself or mold yourself to someone else's distortions (which are continually undergoing change and hopefully evolution) is enabling her to remain as is and does not promote her growth—so in that sense, though it is not the intention, it is like controlling someone else by controlling self.

The best thing you can do for this existence we are sharing is to reach your full potential as an individual entity, with all of your unique talents and awareness. All things flow from that.
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08-12-2019, 11:51 AM,
#10
RE: Difficulties with restriction of personality
(This is off the topic of this thread but addresses comments made by a responder. I'm newer here, so I'm not sure if I should post this in a new thread or just leave it here.)

Kaaron, I was thinking about your comments "Changing the leaders of a system designed to colonize planets, won't lead to the united perspective that helps all realize this." I completely agree.

Ultimately, at Harvest, some will repeat 3D and some will move on to 4 where there will be no more chemical bodies. Ra says there will be no more 3D life on Earth for a period of time. It occurred to me that the push for and eventual colonization of other planets might the way the Logos facilitates ongoing, progressive 3D experience for those MBS complexes that require it. 3D incarnations will simply happen elsewhere and, from a materialist POV, this will look like humanity reaching for and achieving the stars. Which it will be, but it will also, quite conveniently, be the construct that allows for ongoing human 3D experience for the repeaters. The newly unveiled 4D noobs should be aware of what is going on, the the 3D'ers will just know we terraformed Ganymede and it was super amazing. Nevermind the fact that the newly elected leaders of Ganymede have created a colonial police for to enforce payment of the oxygen tax and the exo-military has developed interplanetary nukes to deal with the "threat" of the separitists on Europa who just so happen to have all the water. Oh, and there is a black market for a hallucinogenic strain of protofungus that gets produced by slave labor. So 3D humans will keep doing what 3D humans do no matter what moon or plantet the populate.

I have no concept of "where" the 4D noobs are going to go.
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