Have you ever dealt with this.
A primary relationship in my life changed just over a year and a half ago.
It was highly spiritually based. I’m not going to delve into it but suffice to say it was the relationship that pushed me through so much of my healing and required me to face all parts of myself. I received incredible amounts of specific direct guidance through it all.
But it’s changed drastically now and I accept it. It’s a loss but life goes on and I’ve found peace by releasing it.
Unfortunately though that year and a half I keep going through a loop, grieving the loss, accepting it, realizing it’s for the best, I’m doing well then all of a sudden I’m back in it living like it didn’t change. Like my brain resets and I forget it’s happened. Like my inner beliefs are some how so much more firmly grounded than what is experienced in reality.
I realize it’s cognitive disonence but I’ve honestly never experienced this before, and it’s rediculous how I move through it all completely then poof, like it never happened till I again realize it has. Every few months the cycle begins anew.
I guess much like someone waking up some morning and forgetting someone they love is dead for a few minutes, I hear that happens to people and this feel like that. It was like he died. The part of him I knew died or was buried alive.
He’s still in my life, he changed drastically but we have a new relationship it’s just I keep forgetting.
It breaks my heart for a few hours each time but I always move through it back to facing what is vs what was. I’ve been using my skill set of balancing, compassion, understanding, yada yada but obviously I am missing something.
I’d rather not keep starting the loop, any hints for stopping the reset/forgetting because holy crow. A year and a half it’s gotta stop.
Thanks so much
A primary relationship in my life changed just over a year and a half ago.
It was highly spiritually based. I’m not going to delve into it but suffice to say it was the relationship that pushed me through so much of my healing and required me to face all parts of myself. I received incredible amounts of specific direct guidance through it all.
But it’s changed drastically now and I accept it. It’s a loss but life goes on and I’ve found peace by releasing it.
Unfortunately though that year and a half I keep going through a loop, grieving the loss, accepting it, realizing it’s for the best, I’m doing well then all of a sudden I’m back in it living like it didn’t change. Like my brain resets and I forget it’s happened. Like my inner beliefs are some how so much more firmly grounded than what is experienced in reality.
I realize it’s cognitive disonence but I’ve honestly never experienced this before, and it’s rediculous how I move through it all completely then poof, like it never happened till I again realize it has. Every few months the cycle begins anew.
I guess much like someone waking up some morning and forgetting someone they love is dead for a few minutes, I hear that happens to people and this feel like that. It was like he died. The part of him I knew died or was buried alive.
He’s still in my life, he changed drastically but we have a new relationship it’s just I keep forgetting.
It breaks my heart for a few hours each time but I always move through it back to facing what is vs what was. I’ve been using my skill set of balancing, compassion, understanding, yada yada but obviously I am missing something.
I’d rather not keep starting the loop, any hints for stopping the reset/forgetting because holy crow. A year and a half it’s gotta stop.
Thanks so much