09-28-2020, 05:59 PM
Hi, Daze.
You summarize things well and I find myself moved by your narrative, as much as by the loving meditation experiences as by your cohering your life into something reasonably balanced, given the hardships you had to contend with in your formative years.
I would say, please don't be put off by the unevenness of having a period of such experiences followed by where you're at now. The rhythm of these things is very difficult to appreciate in real time, but over the years one gets a better feel for how one is poised vis-a-vis spirit and what sorts of adjustments might be needed during various periods. For instance, at one point perhaps you needed most that inward connection to set you upon your path, and during a subsequent phase your focus is more upon becoming familiar with your "instrument," i.e., your instrument of consciousness. And this consciousness includes eroded social skills along with everything else.
I wish you all the best in your peregrinations, so to speak.