Session 46.9 Polarity and anger.

[Phoenix]

...Has anyone ever witnessed this? A soft spoken and passive person exploding into anger to shock people into being placed under their control?

I am soft spoken and many people have commented that I seem to be a passive person. It is very rare that I explode in anger, but it does shock people when it happens. My intention is not to shock people into being placed under my control, indeed it is not something I "control" nor would I want to. Trying not to become angry would be a form of repression of my feelings. I am simply not made angry by many things that normally makes people angry. So if I explode in anger, or just become angry, I do not try to prevent it. There is a reason for it and it is ok that it be given its place. Generally when this happens it is because a part of me acknowledges that this is what the other/others wanted from me. Sometimes, they just want to test your limits or they won't be satisfied with anything other than a forceful reaction. I am non-reactive and it seems that, with some people, our mutual understanding/relationship cannot go forward without first passing that speed bump. I don't really feel the need to understand this, I just go with the flow.

I get extremely angry as well. It is one of the things in the human design chart. The 'not self' them of the manifestor is anger. I get so angry in fact that when people have screwed me over at work I sometimes look in someones eyes and feel like I intend to kill them. Each time when this happens I hope that the guy was tough enough for it to blow over, it usually is big muscular guys never a woman. But every time I have looked at someone like this they have turned into a nervous wreck around me.


One of these times was when management had tried to remove holiday from me on the last moment and they justly deserved it. But I am distinguishing this kind of anger from the negatively informed anger which like I said, I believe is about attempting to control the person. There are several good examples of people using anger in my life for the purpose of control and not showing anger at other times. But I suppose this would be a complex and drawn out discussion and I do not want to excessively write about how I see the distinctions.


On a very low level this might be thought: A) Someone that hides their anger except with their very close loved ones that they believe won't leave them. As a form of abuse. The control here is further loyalty to the abusers preferences and world view. B) A "my way or the highway" sort of attitude. But this has to be further clarified. When someone has to exit an abusive situation they will often be uncompromising in their intent to abandon the situation if a boundary is not respected, this is not negative I think if also if an honest attempt is made to communicate, no deception. An example is 'I would like to continue our friendship but your tendency to do x and y, I feel is deeply disrespectful to me, please can you offer communication on this or I would like to end our friendship'.


What I see leaning more in a negative direction though is when someone shows an extreme anger towards another and then i) will not compromise if evidence is shown to the contrary of the viewpoint they are putting forward, or will not receive evidence at all in blocking the other person electronically and ii) expects the other person to grovel and apologise, show submissiveness. Rather than seeking clear communication.