11-07-2011, 06:11 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-07-2011, 06:55 AM by crownedhead.)
hi wanderers
i, like lots of us, was a vehement atheist for many years (i'm 24 now). i had no problem with thinking i was a blob of matter, with nothing to expect after death except blackness. at 21, i had a philosophy teacher who told me i was "awake" (and an "eagle among chickens"..lol) and somehow, being in his presence and participating in his class, i started becoming very open minded. i became curious about "the holographic universe", quantum physics and soul stuff. i still didn't really think any of it was 100% the real truth, i was just suddenly able to realize that i really didn't KNOW anything, so atheism was rather fruitless. i turned into more of an agnostic. i didn't (and still don't) think anything was "true" per se. i just felt open to every possibility.
anyways, this year i had an OBE after ingesting a s*** ton of DXM (dissociative - like ketamine) and i went into outer space, to a red star nebula, to saturn, to a grid positioned over earth.. etc. i became "not human" and i thought i was dead. when i was on that grid over earth i encountered two entities and communicated with them that i absolutely couldn't die because i had a lot of work to do still. it felt very natural to me, this "death" experience..
i started freaking out when i came back to my body (a body which i did not recognize when i saw it lying in bed) and having a lot of trouble understanding what "reality" was. i struggled with this for months. pretty typical right?
anyways, after all that happened, about 5 different people suddenly appeared in my life with some sort of metaphysical power. one after the other. a guy who could "feel" my energy and made me have my first "energy dance" (ever communicate using the fire that is energy? its nuts!) a girl who could access the akashic records, a boy who could read palms with insane accuracy, etc etc. i also met old woman "psychic" who told me i was an "awakened starseed" which i guess is a lot like a wanderer, except i guess it's souls from stars who come here during the harvest to help out and raise the vibrations? blah blah blah.
just weird they all started popping into my life out of nowhere, like they had been waiting for me to come show me these mind blowing possibilities.
anyways, i know i'm "different". but don't most people feel alienated and different? i am totally baffled by humanity and i feel like i'm hyper aware and perceptive, but doesn't everyone feel like that? i was a "gifted" little girl. i was really into buddhism when i was 15 and experienced what i thought was enlightenment through fasting, feeling "one" with everything and so forth. i even had an accidental OBE where i floated over to the lamp and watched myself on the bed.
i don't know. i definitely feel like this could be a real possibility, but i just question the s*** out of everything. i really have no set standard of beliefs in anything other than to be "good". i want to be good despite a "harvest" or any kind of reward.
does anyone else feel like this? am i a fake wanderer because i don't *fully believe* i am one?
just going off of what Ra calls a "wanderer":
"Wanderers have as a general rule some form of handicap, difficulty, or feeling of alienation which is severe. The most common of these difficulties are alienation, the reaction against the planetary vibration by personality disorders, as you would call them, and body complex ailments indicating difficulty in adjustment to the planetary vibrations such as allergies, as you would call them."
well, i had an obvious jaw deformity until last year when i had surgery to correct it. i had a bad life threatening illness this year that made me sick for months, just now getting over it. alienation, sure. but i chalked that up to being "gifted". i've also had allergies and sinus problems my whole life.
i'm not sure what my point is in posting this, lol. just saying hi i guess. i'm wondering if anyone else is as unsure as i am, or if everyone just KNOWS they're a wanderer.
thx for reading!
i, like lots of us, was a vehement atheist for many years (i'm 24 now). i had no problem with thinking i was a blob of matter, with nothing to expect after death except blackness. at 21, i had a philosophy teacher who told me i was "awake" (and an "eagle among chickens"..lol) and somehow, being in his presence and participating in his class, i started becoming very open minded. i became curious about "the holographic universe", quantum physics and soul stuff. i still didn't really think any of it was 100% the real truth, i was just suddenly able to realize that i really didn't KNOW anything, so atheism was rather fruitless. i turned into more of an agnostic. i didn't (and still don't) think anything was "true" per se. i just felt open to every possibility.
anyways, this year i had an OBE after ingesting a s*** ton of DXM (dissociative - like ketamine) and i went into outer space, to a red star nebula, to saturn, to a grid positioned over earth.. etc. i became "not human" and i thought i was dead. when i was on that grid over earth i encountered two entities and communicated with them that i absolutely couldn't die because i had a lot of work to do still. it felt very natural to me, this "death" experience..
i started freaking out when i came back to my body (a body which i did not recognize when i saw it lying in bed) and having a lot of trouble understanding what "reality" was. i struggled with this for months. pretty typical right?
anyways, after all that happened, about 5 different people suddenly appeared in my life with some sort of metaphysical power. one after the other. a guy who could "feel" my energy and made me have my first "energy dance" (ever communicate using the fire that is energy? its nuts!) a girl who could access the akashic records, a boy who could read palms with insane accuracy, etc etc. i also met old woman "psychic" who told me i was an "awakened starseed" which i guess is a lot like a wanderer, except i guess it's souls from stars who come here during the harvest to help out and raise the vibrations? blah blah blah.
just weird they all started popping into my life out of nowhere, like they had been waiting for me to come show me these mind blowing possibilities.
anyways, i know i'm "different". but don't most people feel alienated and different? i am totally baffled by humanity and i feel like i'm hyper aware and perceptive, but doesn't everyone feel like that? i was a "gifted" little girl. i was really into buddhism when i was 15 and experienced what i thought was enlightenment through fasting, feeling "one" with everything and so forth. i even had an accidental OBE where i floated over to the lamp and watched myself on the bed.
i don't know. i definitely feel like this could be a real possibility, but i just question the s*** out of everything. i really have no set standard of beliefs in anything other than to be "good". i want to be good despite a "harvest" or any kind of reward.
does anyone else feel like this? am i a fake wanderer because i don't *fully believe* i am one?
just going off of what Ra calls a "wanderer":
"Wanderers have as a general rule some form of handicap, difficulty, or feeling of alienation which is severe. The most common of these difficulties are alienation, the reaction against the planetary vibration by personality disorders, as you would call them, and body complex ailments indicating difficulty in adjustment to the planetary vibrations such as allergies, as you would call them."
well, i had an obvious jaw deformity until last year when i had surgery to correct it. i had a bad life threatening illness this year that made me sick for months, just now getting over it. alienation, sure. but i chalked that up to being "gifted". i've also had allergies and sinus problems my whole life.
i'm not sure what my point is in posting this, lol. just saying hi i guess. i'm wondering if anyone else is as unsure as i am, or if everyone just KNOWS they're a wanderer.
thx for reading!