08-28-2012, 10:37 PM
Not sure where to begin..about a year ago I was and have been agnostic for quite some time. Had always done things from the heart, I was introduced to Eckhart Tolle and was working with a few Mormon's. Being open I took some influences from both ideologies that I felt made sense and implemented them into how I thought and felt about things. Well I woke up one day and felt like I was completely empty of anything negative, never have I felt so enlightened or my pineal gland working. My thoughts were non-existent and everything was more conceptualized. I would meditate and just vanish into bliss like sleep but not quite. It was like I was emitting light energy everywhere I went. This was going on for a few week's and coincidences just kept happening, I was downtown meeting an ex-girlfriend/best friend and when we split I ran into this guy that was a musician and we started to hang out and asked if I wanted to smoke at his car so we started heading away from downtown towards his car and he made an off hand comment about killing someone in his car tonight. Odd/freaked me out and start of mild paranoia. I eventually brushed it off and he wanted me to help him with his music in terms of idea's or getting his idea's on paper so we planned to meet up the next night at a bar with few of his friends. After I split from him was walking and I ran into a guy that was a tattoo artist and he had to stop me and gave me his card which had pyramid and eye on it, was like we were communicating somehow through energy when ran into each other. Anyway the next evening meet up with the musician and his friend's which were opening that night for another bar in a few hours. Went to the show hung out and we decided to meet up again the next night to work on his music. So I meet him at his girlfriend's house where six-seven people all shared a big house. During that night he pull's a gun out of his bag, showed that it wasn't loaded and then start's showing off his homemade bullets. After that comment and now this I was starting to get freaked I just left out the front door, him and his girlfriend insisted I go for a ride with them before I left. I left and never spoke to them again. That was weird. And it took me a few days to get ride of any fear and paranoia but I was fine. Then one night I got pulled over, I had a marijuana pipe on me and gave me a ticket, doesn't bother me, I'm not a criminal by any means but smoke (When I smoked it would enhance my feelings of enlightenment/understanding of my higher self and I would vibrate at really high levels, all sounds kinda weird being that I've been agnostic but it all made sense). Well I went to court for a friend of mine and while we were in the courtroom I started to vibrate at a higher rate then I had ever before and then that cop walks in with two other men and instantly stopped. The cop and one of them sat a few people down from me and the other guy directly in front of me two rows. One of the layers asked the guy in front of me if he needed help and he just shook his head slowly. All this is kinda ridiculous but it was like they were there for me and because I was vibrating. Plenty of reason's other than that they could be there but it was just weird. Well getting to the point It was like some group or something had noticed me. Here is a song by
Thurston Moore called Space on Demolished Thoughts -
I used to have all the time in the world
Cruising galaxies in search of gold
Another planet with no one home
It was only a matter of time
Before the space police discovered my crime
Forbidden visions etched in stone
Makes no difference to my death wish ray
Hearts get broken every day
Your undying lover is here and gone
I didn't necessarily think I was from somewhere else but at time's it was like my consciousness was traveling galaxies, I don't know how to explain it. But I started to let fear get to me because it felt like people were after me (I know it could have been imagined be me but I had even more instances where people where trying to get at me) and one day everything just shifted in the lower back part of my head, almost like the world shifted off it's axis and I could feel it. Ever since that moment nothing has been the same. It's been about eight month's and I've had a constant feeling in the lower back part of my head, not really sure how to describe it. Lost touch with my higher self and it's like depression is being jammed down my throat even though I can manage. The hardest thing to deal with is feeling one with everything to feeling lost. I can still feel love in my heart but my head is completely scattered. Not sure what happened to me or if I'll be alright. I've been apprehensive to meditate or do anything productive. Been to some really dark places the last eight month's and just trying to push through it. Just wanted somewhere to talk about what happened and find out if anyone has any insights.
Thurston Moore called Space on Demolished Thoughts -
I used to have all the time in the world
Cruising galaxies in search of gold
Another planet with no one home
It was only a matter of time
Before the space police discovered my crime
Forbidden visions etched in stone
Makes no difference to my death wish ray
Hearts get broken every day
Your undying lover is here and gone
I didn't necessarily think I was from somewhere else but at time's it was like my consciousness was traveling galaxies, I don't know how to explain it. But I started to let fear get to me because it felt like people were after me (I know it could have been imagined be me but I had even more instances where people where trying to get at me) and one day everything just shifted in the lower back part of my head, almost like the world shifted off it's axis and I could feel it. Ever since that moment nothing has been the same. It's been about eight month's and I've had a constant feeling in the lower back part of my head, not really sure how to describe it. Lost touch with my higher self and it's like depression is being jammed down my throat even though I can manage. The hardest thing to deal with is feeling one with everything to feeling lost. I can still feel love in my heart but my head is completely scattered. Not sure what happened to me or if I'll be alright. I've been apprehensive to meditate or do anything productive. Been to some really dark places the last eight month's and just trying to push through it. Just wanted somewhere to talk about what happened and find out if anyone has any insights.