How do you forgive yourself?

[LastBreath]

I found the Ra Material some 2 years back and some nights I find myself projecting feelings of gratefulness and thanks to Ra and the channeling team for bringing this information to the public domain and all of the good it has done for me. It has helped me better to understand my situation and life experience greatly. I am now starting think I am on a crash course lesson in learning about love. My early childhood and teen experiences were that of intense loneliness, anger, alienation, deprivation and profound sadness which has left me with a lot of inner pain and a strong desire for love and to have harmonious relationships with others. I know now that I deal with an intense orange ray blockage that has left me powerless in virtually every aspect of my life. At the core of this blockage seems to be my 2 parents and my experiences with them, which is a sob story of it's own that I will not go into here for the readers sake.

I realized that I need to learn to forgive myself and eventually others, and release all of the shame and guilt that I carry around with me. It seems like such a scary thing to do, to even look at and face, but I know that if I don't deal with it that I will live the rest of my life miserable and powerless, being unable to create the experience that I want. The question is exactly how do you deal with it? I believe perhaps only a catalyzing event between me and my father can clear this mess up, and that is a scary proposition to me, given our terribly disharmonious history together. Sometimes when we have good days I feel the orange ray center opening and my interactions with others are more enjoyable, less awkward and flow easily until the next cruel exchange between parents.


January 19, 2007
QíUO: Those issues of red ray, orange ray, and yellow ray are neatly designed and
most tidily packaged to maximize your confusion and to limit the power that you may
bring and allow up to the heart center, the next one after red, orange and yellow.
Each time that you put yourself down, each time that you are harsh, each time that
you feel so isolated and alienated that you deny your brotherhood with all that is, you
close down a little bit of that channel which is bringing in infinite creative energy to
your body, and each time that occurs there is less energy into the heart.
So, basically, those who have not worked through the issues that confront them at
these three levels - self, self with another, and self with its groups - each time that you
allow these issues to come and to be feared you have shut off some of the power that
you need in your heart in order to live the life that you wish to live.

[Karl]

I have a similar problem. No idea really how to resolve it. Been making slow progress, there's been no all-in-one fix-it-all catalyst. If anything I think it's been many small ones building up over time slowly regaining my power.

It's a hard thing to do but I think eventually it will all be worth it.

[Lycen]

Hey LastBreath

I am glad the Ra material has been helpful for you!
In my experience, life will "throw" situations/catalyst at you, where you're intention is at. If you want to learn to forgive you're self and others, well such lessons will frequent you. Whether you react or see them is up to you. But if this is you're intention, then such lessons are around you. Be perceptive of you're surroundings, what happens there. "Life" is a joker, it does such shenanigans

I agree with Karl, take it one step at a time. Each time you react to the catalyst in a way that befits you're intention, you will heal/balance. It takes many such steps and slowly you will empower you're self once again. What is "broke" will slowly heal. If you keep walking you're path, nothing can stop you. One step at a time.

"The journey of a 1000 miles starts with a single step."

Love and light

[Ankh]

Welcome to the forum, brother/sister!

Have patience with your self. The forgiveness of the self might be a lesson for a lifetime, but while learning/teaching this lesson, take a breath from this work from time to time, just toss it all to the wind and love yourself, as you are of infinite worth and admired by the Infinite One.

I loved that Q'uote you posted! Here is another one: "And so, my friends, we suggest that you toss concern about your own sincerity to the wind and sing the songs of joy that are in your heart at this moment, or turn your face to the wind and moan and cry if that be your lot. Accept joy and sorrow as if they were the same thing. Accept the rocky place and the oasis as if they were equal gifts, for these are your home. You shall learn comfort in suffering, and you shall find the undertones of sadness in the most joyful moments, for that which is within you is whole and entire. You are not an experiencer of isolated events or a chronicle of segmented stories, but rather eyewitness to a present moment which this illusion shall suggest to you often to be more than one thing, longer than one moment, fragmented and broken. Yet if the road goes on forever, how can it be fragmented?"

Love/light

[Shin'Ar]

My early childhood and teen experiences were that of intense loneliness, anger, alienation, deprivation and profound sadness which has left me with a lot of inner pain and a strong desire for love and to have harmonious relationships with others.

I realized that I need to learn to forgive myself and eventually others, and release all of the shame and guilt that I carry around with me.

You speak of your early childhood.

What then of your earlier lives?

Will those previous life experiences not have as much influence?


You speak of forgiving yourself and others and releasing all that you have experienced.

How exactly does one release history/past experience?

Shall you make truth into an illusion which never actually happened?

The new agers will jump onto this bandwagon with all sorts of chakra healing and need to forgive yourself to be freed from negative energies.

And that is fine when it is done in understanding of balance. NOT when it is done in ignorance of what balance means.

A balancing act will not be done by denying the existence of the other, or trying to rid existence of it as though it should never have existed and now needs to be completely deconstructed somehow.

Your history, which includes the many lifetimes you have experienced other than this one, has been interconnected and interrelated to countless other experiences and lives. To deconstruct one would be to try to unravel the knitting of infinity.

You, like many others here, are thinking of yourself as this present incarnation, and trying to identify your self as one present experience. Even those who are becoming aware of the paradox of self still suffer confusion over discerning it.

When you finally come to understand that self is not what you think it is, you will realize that there is no need to forgive or release anything.

With understanding that one needs to heal, further understanding about self will follow. During that process of realizing that true self has nothing to do with your personal identity delusions, one will go through stages of enlightening, in which confused understanding slowly gives way to complex understanding.

In the confusion one will hear much about self healing and the promotion of self as an identity.

But as that grows into higher understanding one will begin to realize the folly of self identification.

The self is a fragment of your true being. Just one small portion of your true whole.

As one recently pointed out in this community, the tiniest molecule of your form is as much you, as the reflection of the whole you see in the mirror. Yet one tends to identify themselves with that image in the mirror, and not with the context of the sacred fire that burns deep within each and every aspect of that whole form.

You must know the true self before you will ever begin to understand true healing and forgiveness.

And you must know what true healing and forgiveness actually means before you can accomplish that.

And all are tied together in a higher understanding than thinking that forgiving one's identity delusions for actually experiencing existence, is some prerequisite to ascending into higher being.

I ask you, is this really 'your' last breath, or just the last breath of this incarnation?

Healing is not a matter of deliberate amnesia, it is in deciphering the lessons of past experiences. Healing is not in denying the past, but learning from it.

The forgiveness is not in the suggestion of righteousness or what should have been done in hindsight. It is in the understanding that the self making those choices is the same self experiencing the whole from all perspectives at all times, everywhere. is there a need to forgive all of creation for existing? No, forgiveness is acceptance that all is a process of experiencing creation, while it continues being created.

Self is the fragmented desire to experience one isolated aspect of the whole as though it is unique and individual to you alone. But it is really nothing more than one desire of many desires of The One process of Being. A desire to be something, is not an identity. It is a process of being.

And when you attempt to dissect that one, all encompassing process, into units of individual experiences, giving each of them a name and category, you create the delusion of self. A delusion because it is all the 'process' of One Consciousness existing and creating. And that One cannot be dissected and made into many identities.

I am that I am!

We, as fragmented processes, cannot say that, nor assume that identity as though our fragmented process and experience is 'I Am'.

The best we can do as process is say that 'I Am Being'.

I hope that this effort can be of some assistance to 'you', in such a way that you will come to realize that there is no need to forgive yourself, anymore than there is a need for you to forgive, neither me or creation, for simply existing.

[Horuseus]

^ Shin'Ar above essentially surmised my own thought processes.

Forgiveness implies there is is a need to forgive. Forgiveness implies that you, the past sum of your experiences are deficient in some way. Deficiency is denying the inherent perfect Divine order in which all that is constantly stays within a state of. It is denying the essence of your true self. Forgiveness is a psychological bandage which one places upon the mind in an attempt to filter traffic from your unconscious. The attempt to do so is a result of a belief detaching yourself from the responsibility that you, and you alone are the orchestrator of your own being and destiny.

Sadness/Fear about an experience is a beautiful gift from the self making conscious to what requires your attention. Why do you deny yourself the opportunity to see what keeps you from your true state? Has one looked at the situation through a differing lens of perception so that the lesson it has to share with you is apparant?

Is the 'Victim' of a Bully really the Victim? Or is the Bully a Victim of his own insecurities and Fear? Is he not then projecting his own insecurities and Fear outwards? Will you not then feel compassion for the being who is going through such dismay that he cannot deal with it inwards? Will you not then out of Love play the part of the recipient so that the Catalyst triggering his awakening be found? Self to Self. Is this not then such an immense opportunity for you on a step to remembering who you really are?

You are an eternal spiritual being and a Creator. You are on a process of self transformation. Your thoughts and feelings should be transformed and not forced out by further tales. Releasing denies the inherent beauty in all things for you are rejecting their innate qualities. Your guidance system is providing the great service of showing you what needs to be transformed. Desiring to 'Let go' is not dealing with, for you are showing it the door before you have examined the depths of which it has to offer. Letting go implies you are not currently perfect. Realize that you are perfect as you are, and that you have no need for the belief that you must release anything in the first place. I guarantee that you will sooner come out stronger facing your 'Demons', than by residing them to the inner depths of being.

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” ― C.G. Jung

[Shin'Ar]

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” ― C.G. Jung

"As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being."
Carl Jung

[TheFifty9Sound]

Perhaps instead of trying to learn to forgive, you should try and learn not to judge. The absence of judgement leaves the idea of forgiveness null and void, for if you don't judge, what is there to forgive?

Also, as far as your issues with your parents, perhaps you might want to pick up a book called the Celestine Prophesy. It's child's play compared to the Ra material, but it does have some useful perspectives on our relationships to our parents you may find helpful.

[Plenum]

I think most of the traumas that we carry around with us occurred in the first 13-14 years of life. They happen at a time when we are least psychologically equipped to deal with the events themselves.

as adults, we can observe what is happening and have the philosophies and exercises to deal with difficulties. As a child, we just absorb it all.

I've been going through this forgiveness process myself. What has been of help to me is to see or revisit the original events and ask yourself

'where is the separation or fear in this experience?'

from the eyes of the child experiencing it, one can them use your current knowledge of things to see it from a top down perspective.

why did I choose to see fear in this situation? why did I choose to act on separation?

when you can understand your original misunderstanding of the situation, the forgiveness of self flows almost automatically.

yeah, some pretty bad things can happen to ya (I was bullied and ostracised as a kid, and revisted this stuff on other people). My dad could be pretty overbearing at times too. But that is no reason to carry a forever sense of fear with you for the rest of time.

you can go back in time and choose a loving response (not seeing separation) rather than the fearful one (which leaves a legacy in consciousness).

it ain't easy, and there's an amazing pile of dog turd in all those memories. But it's been helpful for me, for sure.

ain't easy being a sensitive soul in this world

[KindaEnlightened]

Perhaps instead of trying to learn to forgive, you should try and learn not to judge. The absence of judgement leaves the idea of forgiveness null and void, for if you don't judge, what is there to forgive?

Also, as far as your issues with your parents, perhaps you might want to pick up a book called the Celestine Prophesy. It's child's play compared to the Ra material, but it does have some useful perspectives on our relationships to our parents you may find helpful.

This is, in my opinion, excellent advice.

In his books, The Four Agreements and The Fifth Agreement, Don Miguel Ruiz explains that we humans tend to judge ourselves over and over for every mistake we make, every time we are reminded of the mistake. He states that our sense of injustice recognizes that we keep paying for the same mistake, keeping us conflicted. He urges the reader to see the past as nothing more that a virtual reality, because the only true reality is what is occurring RIGHT NOW and to stop judging.

I found both books quite helpful, and the belief that we are all one is a main component of the books. I really can't recommend them enough.

Mistakes are for learning and they allow us to grow in that sense.

[zenmaster]

Perhaps instead of trying to learn to forgive, you should try and learn not to judge. The absence of judgement leaves the idea of forgiveness null and void, for if you don't judge, what is there to forgive?

Doesn't work that way. Judgement is a conscious action, whereas what may be forgiven tends to be somewhere in the unconscious. Can't really evaluate something which has not been brought to one's attention. And when it is brought to the attention, "forgiveness" (not lack of judgement) is the way to accept.

[Plenum]

forgiveness seems to be the primary way to undo the damage of the past.

by acknowledging that one has erred (acted or thought unlovingly), and understanding how this happened (so it doesn't happen again), the wounds of separation within the self can be healed up.

Ra links the concepts of karma and forgiveness here:

http://www.lawofone.info/results.php?s=34#4

[cosmiclady]

Forgiving the self is a long journey. I've been reading all of the passages that the "Today's Quo" come from, and a lot of them discuss love, loving the self, etc.
It is necessary to accept your dark side, your warts, your faults, all of it. Then to love all of it. They make up you. Then see the Creator in yourself, and love it. Maybe from that point, you forgive yourself.

[Shin'Ar]

forgiveness seems to be the primary way to undo the damage of the past.

by acknowledging that one has erred (acted or thought unlovingly), and understanding how this happened (so it doesn't happen again), the wounds of separation within the self can be healed up.

Ra links the concepts of karma and forgiveness here:

http://www.lawofone.info/results.php?s=34#4

Plemun my dear friend,

It is not the forgiving of past 'sins' that accomplishes this, but the realization that there is NO self which requires forgiving.

It is true that understanding our past walk and reconsideration of the experience can be healing and beneficial to further evolution, but what one truly discovers in past reflection is the simple recycling of adopting self identities, even though each incarnation is a complete new identity.

[Charles]

The easiest "how" to forgive self and others, IMHO, is to find a good Hypnotherapist, or Consulting Hypnotist (depending upon which is legal in your state).

Choosing love and joy and ease is not a selfish activity. We know that such a heart and mind can influence our world's transition in a positive manner. We know that our joy and ease, while living upon this earth, is also a gift to all we meet, just by letting them know that this is possible. All very STO.

Not forgiving is a heavy weight for you to carry, while forgiving will lift this weight and will make joy possible.

Forgiving others has Nothing to do with telling them that they are forgiven. This decision, and this change, is all and entirely within you.

I'm uncertain what you need forgive yourself for. Your childhood was difficult. If (among other things) your parents blamed you for their problems, or belittled you, that doesn't mean that they were correct.

You no longer need to buy into a childish belief. Some children are told that they are stupid, or ugly, or not lovable, and many adults continue to carry these beliefs which their superiors (adults) told them.

A child (6 or 10 or 13 etc.) is allowed and expected and encouraged to think and act just like a child. There is nothing to forgive. Now, however, an adult can look at those same "lessons," and realize that a 25 (or 45 etc.) year old adult is allowed and expected and encouraged to re-think, and to feel and act and react as an adult.

A part of this adult thought and reaction will involve seeing and understanding these people (your parents) as the very troubled people they were (and perhaps still are). Were they abused as children (?), do they still carry the negative self image they were taught to carry (?), did this self image cause their anger and cruelty? Did they know any better?

Your shame and guilt may belong to your abusers, and your understanding their problems in this, may make you're forgiving them easier.

Past life regression may also be done in hypnosis, if you and your hypnotist agree to do this. As Souls before re-incarnation, we all choose the lessons that need be learned, and this includes choosing our parents. Lessons have seemed to be harder in this lifetime, because of the opportunities given during this earth time.

To learn and to grow and to become a survivor instead of a victim, may have been the lesson chosen.

Some people choose various illnesses, or to be ugly, to to belong to some minority, etc., in order to learn the lessons chosen by their soul self. Overcoming the illness, etc. teaches incarnate souls of their strength and of their remarkable self worth, in ways that an easy life could never do.

There are no mistakes, and this very question you are asking about forgiveness, is very likely a part of the growth you choose for yourself.

Your comfort with a hypnotist, and their office, and their voice, is important. If they refuse to meet and talk with you before any scheduled session, then don't bother.

[Cyan]

Stop dealing with it.

[suraj]

Louise Hay in her book "heal your life" shared a very simple technique - We just verbally repeat that we choose to forgive "I forgive you for not being as I expected you to be . I forgive you and set you free" - Just keep repeating this to yourself even if you don't believe it because the universe is listening and will provide you catalyst for healing .

There also visual techinque example of Phyllis Krystal where you cut ties with parents and other people with whom you have emotional entanglement

You may explore many such options - They have worked for me

[falcor]

i see forgiveness as an excellent way for us to get rid of the baggage we no longer need to carry. forgiveness of self and of others selves. its important to recognize this baggage is in the chakras. i like the idea of conscious programming, telling ourselves we forgive everyone and everything. but for me it doesnt mean a whole lot without feeling. before we can really clear out the chakras, we must be well aware of our mind/ego and learn to move past it....obviously there are many techniques and teachings around that subject, and it is a different path for all of us so i wont discuss further.

it is shown indirectly in many teachings, but directly by Ra and the Law of One - 'first we initiate the mind, then we initiate the body' for those who arent well aware of their mind and the ego attachments to their mind, meditation doesnt seem to be as useful. of course, this will vary with all of us. when one learns to move past the mind, they can then use the mind during meditation as a powerful tool. or even better, silencing the mind completely and moving into a state of being.

breathing techniques can be good during meditation, by simply breathing with intent. we breath in the feeling, the intent, the idea of love - light - healing - forgiveness - whatever your aim may be. we are breathing out that which no longer serves us. jealousy - envy - hate - regret - etc. slow, deep breaths. and really try to feel what it is that you are intending. this is the power of the conscious mind and the will. for beginners, see if you can keep your mind single pointed on your intent, with the breath for 10 minutes alone. it might prove harder than you think. and when youre done, you might actually feel better than you might think

the best technique i have found for clearing out blockages is internal gazing. i ended up awakening my 'kundalini' energy after doing this enough times. sit, feel, breathe, become one with the chakra until you can really feel it. this means, not assuming what youre feeling. not labeling what youre feeling. just experiencing what the energy centers are trying to show you. for me it only speaks through 'feelings', and these feelings come from a place beyond the mind. the mind must be still when exploring these areas for any real magic to take place.

this is a short summary of a few techniques i really like, but i do so for a reason. it is up to you to get in there and feel yourself out.... to see what works best for you! i hope this helps anyone who is looking to take an approach at clearing out blockages

[Vasistha]

I can only offer some avenue of thoughts.

True forgiveness can only happen when you realize that there is nothing to forgive.

You have made a misidentification.
You are not a human being, you are the One Creator dreaming that you are spirit having a human being life on a Planet spinning in space.

Can you see the comedy?
The Creation is a figment of the imagination of the Creator.

You are the Creator. If all is One, it must be the truth.

The Creation is nothing else than a 'Light Show' stemming from Pure Extasic Orgasmic Love. Cosmic Illusion.
Every possible combination are experienced by you, but as a dream. It is not ultimately real.
It was decided by You to experience every possibility.

So ultimately, You have done nothing wrong. How can what is beyond perfection (The Creator) itself makes any mistakes?
Everything is always totally perfect, as everything is the Creator.

Wake up, realize who you truly are and be free.

[falcor]

great post vasistha

many teachings state that at the 'highest' levels of existence, all is one, and there is never anything to forgive

but how many of us are truly conscious at this level? where one actually always sees everything and everyone as being a part of themselves......the level where everything is always perfect, and that all is one. my limited point of view thinks...... that it is not very many many of us have 'woken up' and still indulge in our personality without exercising discipline, which im probably doing a bit of right now!

while i agree with your thinking, i just dont see it as being that simple. we can realize these things at an intellectual level....however it is one thing to 'know' about something from experiencing it, and another thing to 'know about' something by reading about it. we can tell ourselves whatever we want. but i dont see that it means anything until we begin to experience these ideas at the level of our being. in short, i believe there is much work between waking up and becoming conscious of the perfection in every moment of the creation

much love