Story of my Awakening From Day 1
12-12-2009, 07:21 AM, (This post was last modified: 12-12-2009, 07:28 AM by creationist.)
#1
Story of my Awakening From Day 1
Heart

Hi everybody! This is my first post and I love reading this site. I wanted to briefly share my experiences in case it might help bring new ideas or insights to someone else.

I'm typing in the middle of the night right now and it rocks. I don't usually stay up this late, but I have such a sense of tranquility when the world around me is asleep.

I came from an average family with its usual pros and cons. I had a nice childhood, but my parents were always busy working when I was in my early teens. So I was stuck with increasing emotional confusion and mismanagement, leading to loneliness and anger. All too common and unfortunate I believe.

Eventually I turned into a big ball of anger and a person without much drive to do anything. My entire teenage experience was horrible and filled with loneliness, I just hated everyone and everything without knowing why. Then my Dad suddenly passed away in an accident. I decided at that point that life sucks. After 1-2 years of being severely depressed, I suddenly realized that what I was doing wasn't working out. I was pushing everyone away and being completely selfish. I wasn't sure when the lightbulb moment occurred but I suppose it had to do with my father's death being finally accepted in my heart.

From that point on, I worked hard every day. At this point I haven't read much about New Age or Psychology stuff yet, so I was just using logic to push me forward. I started to analyze my trains of thought and realized that my thoughts were very jumbled and severely interspersed with erratic bursts of negative thoughts and emotions.

I worked on monitoring my thoughts and emotions. I compare it to seeing my mind like a construct of wires or waves, like those computer data-arrays in sci-fi movies. Whenever a sudden negative thought would jump into my head, I would stamp it out. That doesn't always work since it's like putting a bandaid on a gas leak, so eventually I had to pinpoint what the negative thought was, and then back-trace it to the point of origin. Where did the negative thought come from, and why, and then worked to logically resolve it.

In time my hard work paid off, and my mind no longer had these negative 'static' anymore, and I was able to have a quiet and controlled mind. This was not a quick process, but it's a skill that was necessary for my growth.

After I fixed myself, I started to look externally. I realized that many people were not in control of themselves either. So I tried to force my way of thinking onto others. I was completely naive and absolutely ineffective. At this point, I started reading a bit about New Age stuff, but the problem was my inability to communicate/integrate the benefits into my own life or other people's lives.

The problem with New Age stuff for me back then, was that I took everything too literally. I didn't mean New Age material was not accurate or flawed in any way. But to someone like me, who was still trying to figure out my own life, I was taking meanings at face value. Instead of being able to dissect true meanings and important lessons that may be embedded within, I used New Age stuff as a bible. Ok not so extreme, but sorta in a sense.

In my tasks of trying to convince people to see the light, my methods of persuasion and communication were not that good. Most people would see me as another New Age geek whom they can politely or impolitely ignore.

Fast forwarding... After a while of frustration, I went back to drinking and partying to experience all that I could from life. These years were filled with conflict and love and hate but also allowed me to experience a large amount of life. It was also at this point that I truly realized how bad the state of society was, and me being another contributor to its horrible machinations.

Eventually I went into a career in Marketing, and learned through my years, that to most efficiently communicate the light to people, is through gradual change and convincing. Even if you yell and scream, people usually won't listen. So one really have to understand another's thinking and lifestyle to be able to convince them slowly. Any big lightbulb experience is usually handled by a higher power, and I'm usually unable to effect such anyways. So I *try* not to waste energy or cause negativity in attempting so. Though many times I still get frustrated when I try to help those dear to me and can't, due to them being fully stuck in the clockworks of our negative society.

Exclamation It was also at this point that I had my true Awakening moment, I think. By the way, I don't do regular meditation, even though I should... but when I do meditate, I do a quick 1 min mind/body relaxation thing, and then I use the power of my imagination to suspend all belief/current reality, and zen-like focus to anchor myself there. (This wasn't really a matter of practice or not for me, but it's just absolutely believing in doing it/suspending belief.) At a certain point, I saw myself as having "layers".

Just to clarify, I haven't read much about meditation or too much New Age technical stuff, so this is mostly not influenced by anything I read. And at this point, I also did not read about any 3rd/4th Density/Awakening stuff yet.

I would see myself in mental/ego layers, and if I go into the top/back higher layer, I would find myself smiling at how silly life was but that it was necessary. I also thought that I could cut myself off from all the negativity if I wanted to, but then another side of me said/thought that it would be better to experience everything if I was deep in the negative 'muck', and doing this "blindly" without the benefits of being super calmed. I didn't really understand this or thought of it too much till this moment. All of this I don't really keep in mind, but I just continue to live my life without going back to that special mental/ego place, living my life with some frustrations and much clumsiness.

So here I am, as I am, trying to make a difference. In myself, and in others. Armed with my experiences forged by unconditional love and unfathomable pain/hate. Seeking to share the light that I see, the power of creativity and positive thinking.

Thank you for spending your time in sharing my humble life. I hope that some part of my posting will be of use! Much love to you all! Blush
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12-12-2009, 11:34 AM,
#2
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
Hi, creationist! I can only offer you a humble welcome from someone who's been posting here for only 12 days. Smile

You have definitely found the path and started walking it. I see a lot of my own experiences in yours... learning to watch the thoughts/emotions/feelings, rising above ego, wanting to share with others, then finally learning to plunge back into the negative with your positive polarity...

For a couple months while pathwalking, I was learning the balance and flow of yin and yang. During this time, I would see some cause and identify the effect, see some action and identify the reaction, or visa versa. I would have inspirational thoughts like "Living things (yang) act, nonliving things (yin) are acted upon." and "The (yang) action leads to the (yin) state." I began to see "waves" in the function of the world. For example in the changing of the seasons, I was more aware of the flow from one extreme to dip into the other, come back out towards the first extreme, then back for more than a dip to the opposite extreme. I saw/still see this mostly in the weather and human and animal behavior. The reason why I say this is because I think it relates to your post in that you were deep in the negative extreme, then jumped for a dip into positive, only to crest and slide back into negative, then to rise and remain for a while (where you are now) in the positive extreme. I enjoy my awakened state knowing that it's not permanent. More negativity must come and inevitably change me with it in order for me to maintain balance.

Sorry for the long winded post... sometimes I wish I could articulate ideas better!

Thank you.
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12-12-2009, 01:19 PM,
#3
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to our learning from each other.

(12-12-2009, 07:21 AM)creationist Wrote:  I'm typing in the middle of the night right now and it rocks. I don't usually stay up this late, but I have such a sense of tranquility when the world around me is asleep.

I like the way you set the scene. "It was a dark and stormy night..." except without the stormy part. Big Grin

Quote:I just hated everyone and everything without knowing why.

Do you have any insight now about why that occured? Was there something harmful, abusive, unfair about your situation? Or was the anger and frustration from inside of you and not a reaction to something bad in your environment?

Quote:At this point I haven't read much about New Age or Psychology stuff yet, so I was just using logic to push me forward.

From the rest of your article, I think that you discovered some excellent principles and techniques on your own

Quote:So I tried to force my way of thinking onto others.

Here, let me shove you and tell you what to think, so that you can be free of outside influences and think for yourself. Why won't that ever work? Undecided

Quote:I used New Age stuff as a bible.

That's not just you, some of it does say it should be taken as a Bible... that it's the one truth of God's Universe and you'd damn well better believe it! (pun intended) One of the things I love about the L/L Research work is the phrase such as, "Please take what you find helpful with your own experience, and set the rest aside."

Quote:Eventually I went into a career in Marketing, and learned through my years, that to most efficiently communicate the light to people, is through gradual change and convincing.

I am also learning more about marketing. There is some great material in that field. I think it was Gary Halbert or Dan Kennedy who talked about understanding the conversation that is already going on inside the mind of the other person, and joining that conversation.

Quote:Armed with my experiences forged by unconditional love and unfathomable pain/hate.

I imagine that should give you a broad base for empathy with many people's situations.

Thanks again for joining!
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12-12-2009, 04:37 PM, (This post was last modified: 12-12-2009, 05:02 PM by creationist.)
#4
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
(12-12-2009, 11:34 AM)Aaron Wrote:  Hi, creationist! I can only offer you a humble welcome from someone who's been posting here for only 12 days. Smile

Personally I think that anyone and everyone's opinion is extremely valuable, as long as one strives enough to gain the benefits and insights as it applies to oneself =) So definitely thank you for spending part of your life here to reply to me!

Quote:For a couple months while pathwalking, I was learning the balance and flow of yin and yang. During this time, I would see some cause and identify the effect, see some action and identify the reaction, or visa versa. I would have inspirational thoughts like "Living things (yang) act, nonliving things (yin) are acted upon." and "The (yang) action leads to the (yin) state." I began to see "waves" in the function of the world. For example in the changing of the seasons, I was more aware of the flow from one extreme to dip into the other, come back out towards the first extreme, then back for more than a dip to the opposite extreme. I saw/still see this mostly in the weather and human and animal behavior.

To clarify, I don't know anything about yin and yang, so any comment I have relating to this topic is purely guessing/feeling ok? =)

Quote: The reason why I say this is because I think it relates to your post in that you were deep in the negative extreme, then jumped for a dip into positive, only to crest and slide back into negative, then to rise and remain for a while (where you are now) in the positive extreme. I enjoy my awakened state knowing that it's not permanent. More negativity must come and inevitably change me with it in order for me to maintain balance.

Sorry for the long winded post... sometimes I wish I could articulate ideas better!

That is an interesting concept, since I have not thought about such waves at all.

I see my situation more as having 2 large rooms of different 'air', with an invisible force field dividing them. One room is an empty room of light and clean air, perfectly quiet and perfectly calm. Then the other room is a room of more chaotic energy/ocean waves, slowing down my movement as if I was underwater, with painful static and barbs in the water as I walk through it, cutting into my body and especially heart.

As to what you were saying about positive and negative dips, while I am not sure if that's the inherent basis of how life works or not, I see it as a possible condition of human psychological momentum. Sometimes I have the highest hopes for improving myself or others in a specific case, but then the uphill climb proves too much to endure indefinitely and it fades off. So perhaps the yin (positive?) part of the wave can be extended through a higher degree of focus and acceptance of current self. Good ol' stubbornness. =)

There's also something I realized about personal growth. I see myself as having certain stages of spiritual growth, with associations/attachments in each stage.

I sense that there is a 'shortcut' to the next stage of growth, and that I just need to fully relinquish any rights or concern with my current attachments, and just "flip" my mental state to become a higher version of myself. I would be a different person and I often ask myself whether I am willing to give up my current relationships and environment that I've built up, but the answer is always no. I guess I'm selfish in that regard! So no shortcuts for me!

side note: One thing that I really strived to learn over the years, is how to articulate better. And I think knowing about proper copywriting in Advertising definitely helps towards that. Since it's about having your words as brief and as concise as possible, to reach as large an audience as possible. That is one of latest goals, to bring increased understanding to the general population.
(12-12-2009, 01:19 PM)Questioner Wrote:  Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to our learning from each other.

Same here, it is interesting to see the apple from different angles by talking with other explorers =)

Quote:I like the way you set the scene. "It was a dark and stormy night..." except without the stormy part. Big Grin

haha thanks, that's my Marketing habits kicking in.

Quote:
Quote:I just hated everyone and everything without knowing why.

Do you have any insight now about why that occured? Was there something harmful, abusive, unfair about your situation? Or was the anger and frustration from inside of you and not a reaction to something bad in your environment?

I thought about this a bit before replying, and I believe that at the time, I saw it as static noise flowing through the air. I am not certain whether that was just an incorrect perception, since at the time, I was not as accurate in pinpointing mental disruption sources. However, perhaps that perception has some validity, since we are in one big force field and with the state of our general society being so negative! Also perhaps the local vibe was not as positive as could be, since the other people who lived with me as tuned more towards negative.

The way I handled it, was sorta like being in a batting cage, with 10 baseballs pitching machines firing at you constantly at a time. I would ignore others, focus on one mental negativity, and then try and use logic to trace it back to its source, and try to untie that knot. Nothing magical about it, just trying to mentally resolve any built up issues I had.

Quote:
Quote:At this point I haven't read much about New Age or Psychology stuff yet, so I was just using logic to push me forward.

From the rest of your article, I think that you discovered some excellent principles and techniques on your own

thank you, I read somewhere that for some 'techniques' it was important to adapt your own style rather than to forcefully do it word for word. My personality is such that I always like exploration and having my own adapted way of doing things anyways, improving as necessary =)

Quote:
Quote:I used New Age stuff as a bible.

That's not just you, some of it does say it should be taken as a Bible... that it's the one truth of God's Universe and you'd damn well better believe it! (pun intended) One of the things I love about the L/L Research work is the phrase such as, "Please take what you find helpful with your own experience, and set the rest aside."

Yes agreed, due to our narrow point of experience as a person, I believe it's impossible to fully grasp every situation from every angle, so it's more efficient to use the general available material to learn from and adapt to one's own life.

Quote:
Quote:Eventually I went into a career in Marketing, and learned through my years, that to most efficiently communicate the light to people, is through gradual change and convincing.

I am also learning more about marketing. There is some great material in that field. I think it was Gary Halbert or Dan Kennedy who talked about understanding the conversation that is already going on inside the mind of the other person, and joining that conversation.
There's a great book you might want to read called: Positioning: the battle for your mind, by jack trout. An essential book for anyone who wants to do marketing. Explains in the deep mysteries of Marketing in very simply understood language.

Quote:
Quote:Armed with my experiences forged by unconditional love and unfathomable pain/hate.

I imagine that should give you a broad base for empathy with many people's situations.

Thanks again for joining!

Agreed, while I haven't lived in any war zones or third world countries, I have been emotionally and mentally scarred quite a bit, and I would not wish the same of anyone. It took a lot of work and time to heal those scars and now I hope to use all that experience and be of service to others. =)

Here's another interesting thing I just remembered, I like to avoid looking into other people's eyes unless I have to. I have no problem with speaking publicly or having an earnest conversation with a stranger fyi. However I feel that I connect too much into people's inner thoughts when I look into their eyes, seeing the raw side of them. Though I wonder if it's because I have something to hide myself. Or whether I might find myself trying to reach out to them and help them without being asked into their life. Might also spread myself/my time too thinly too. Just thought this tidbit might be interesting/relevant to the empathy topic. =)
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12-12-2009, 10:22 PM,
#5
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
Quote:That is an interesting concept, since I have not thought about such waves at all.

I see my situation more as having 2 large rooms of different 'air', with an invisible force field dividing them. One room is an empty room of light and clean air, perfectly quiet and perfectly calm. Then the other room is a room of more chaotic energy/ocean waves, slowing down my movement as if I was underwater, with painful static and barbs in the water as I walk through it, cutting into my body and especially heart.

As to what you were saying about positive and negative dips, while I am not sure if that's the inherent basis of how life works or not, I see it as a possible condition of human psychological momentum. Sometimes I have the highest hopes for improving myself or others in a specific case, but then the uphill climb proves too much to endure indefinitely and it fades off. So perhaps the yin (positive?) part of the wave can be extended through a higher degree of focus and acceptance of current self. Good ol' stubbornness. =)

Hah, I don't think one can make any 100% true statement on "how life works". It's just that mysterious! Smile Human psychological momentum sounds like a good way to describe what I observed. In your analogy, my point would have been worded something like: I observe that you were drowning in the negative room, then came up for air in the positive room with such force that you "flew above the surface of the negative ocean" for a few moments, only to come back down to crash below the surface again for a few moments..."

And eventually I think the key is instead of using a higher degree of focus to extend your floating above the surface, you will just equalize. You can't know love, joy, and laughter without their opposites, so once you are balanced, you "float" on the surface, breathing the clean air but knowing your roots in the suffering.

Quote:There's also something I realized about personal growth. I see myself as having certain stages of spiritual growth, with associations/attachments in each stage.

I sense that there is a 'shortcut' to the next stage of growth, and that I just need to fully relinquish any rights or concern with my current attachments, and just "flip" my mental state to become a higher version of myself. I would be a different person and I often ask myself whether I am willing to give up my current relationships and environment that I've built up, but the answer is always no. I guess I'm selfish in that regard! So no shortcuts for me!

I know what you mean and I will agree that there are definitely stages of spiritual growth. After I first started to awaken, I almost subconsciously set a goal for myself, "To be enlightened." Although I understood that to be completely enlightened is a paradox, as you can work towards enlightenment, but you can't attain it because once you are enlightened, there is no you to attain it, I set the goal and worked towards it. Then suddenly, enlightenment wasn't special anymore. My interest in attaining enlightenment dropped off suddenly and I realized I was at the next stage and that the smaller part of me that I associated with in my previous stage, my ego, in a sense had achieved enlightenment.

Now what's next? Giving up current relationships and environment or relinquishing concern with attachments may be part of the answer, but it just as well may not. As much as the logical mind would like it, I don't think there is an answer or formula for awakening. For every person, the path is drastically different. Instead of asking yourself what you need to give up or do next, maybe ask yourself if now is simply the time to wait in joy and peace for the next opportunity to come along. Maybe patience is your next lesson, who knows?

Quote:Here's another interesting thing I just remembered, I like to avoid looking into other people's eyes unless I have to. I have no problem with speaking publicly or having an earnest conversation with a stranger fyi. However I feel that I connect too much into people's inner thoughts when I look into their eyes, seeing the raw side of them. Though I wonder if it's because I have something to hide myself. Or whether I might find myself trying to reach out to them and help them without being asked into their life. Might also spread myself/my time too thinly too. Just thought this tidbit might be interesting/relevant to the empathy topic. =)

In the bible it says the eyes are the window to the soul. Whatever the original thought behind that saying was, I think it comes from the "jolt" of connection or empathy that we feel if we look into another's eyes. I think that if we make direct eye contact, we are able to pick up SO much body language and emotion from them, so much more than they are saying to us with words, that it cuts straight through their outer shield or personality mask they're wearing. After all, didn't we communicate for many many many years before spoken language was even in the picture? Smile Maybe you can try to use eye contact in conjunction with language to soothingly bring the person you're talking to into the present moment by communicating fully with them, and not just mask to mask. Hmm, I think I'll try to be aware of the way I'm communicating and eye contact from now on. Thanks for allowing me to come to this idea! haha
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12-13-2009, 01:38 AM,
#6
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
(12-12-2009, 10:22 PM)Aaron Wrote:  Hah, I don't think one can make any 100% true statement on "how life works". It's just that mysterious! Smile Human psychological momentum sounds like a good way to describe what I observed. In your analogy, my point would have been worded something like: I observe that you were drowning in the negative room, then came up for air in the positive room with such force that you "flew above the surface of the negative ocean" for a few moments, only to come back down to crash below the surface again for a few moments..."
Perhaps for me, it's a bit more controlled than that. Imagine a giant cube of Water that is the chaotic world, held up by a force field that anyone can pass through easily. While it would be possible to stay on the dry side and be at peace, the 'game' of life is in the water cube even if it is tiring and painful comparatively.

Please note that I'm not trying to determine the exact explanations for this, but to find any common truths between different perceptions.

Quote:And eventually I think the key is instead of using a higher degree of focus to extend your floating above the surface, you will just equalize. You can't know love, joy, and laughter without their opposites, so once you are balanced, you "float" on the surface, breathing the clean air but knowing your roots in the suffering.

While I'm not certain if equalizing is the exact final destination, if I was to make an analogy towards your theory... it would be like a swimming pool. Having run around in the air, knowing the dryness and crispness of the air... then jumping into the water, knowing the wetness and drag of the water... then eventually floating on your back, with half of you in the water, and half of you in contact with the air.

I'm not sure about the ups and downs of spirituality, but perhaps it's a matter of finding the right set of principles that will allow you to stay positive for a longer period of time, such as letting go of the Ego, and also to macromanage your life, instead of micromanaging it.

Quote:I know what you mean and I will agree that there are definitely stages of spiritual growth. After I first started to awaken, I almost subconsciously set a goal for myself, "To be enlightened." Although I understood that to be completely enlightened is a paradox, as you can work towards enlightenment, but you can't attain it because once you are enlightened, there is no you to attain it, I set the goal and worked towards it. Then suddenly, enlightenment wasn't special anymore. My interest in attaining enlightenment dropped off suddenly and I realized I was at the next stage and that the smaller part of me that I associated with in my previous stage, my ego, in a sense had achieved enlightenment.
Agreed, to feel highly enlightened already *might* be a sign of the ego kicking in. Maybe finding the key to the next set of lessons might be part of the graduation to the next level of enlightenment. Hey if it was easy, everyone would be enlightened already.

Quote:Now what's next? Giving up current relationships and environment or relinquishing concern with attachments may be part of the answer, but it just as well may not. As much as the logical mind would like it, I don't think there is an answer or formula for awakening. For every person, the path is drastically different. Instead of asking yourself what you need to give up or do next, maybe ask yourself if now is simply the time to wait in joy and peace for the next opportunity to come along. Maybe patience is your next lesson, who knows?
Well I think that the next lesson always come to you, just have to be alert and watch for the subtle signs. I view next lessons like pop quizzes. Before the pop quiz arrives, it would improve your chances if you worked hard on improving oneself, so that you would be better equipped to learn and pass from the pop quiz when it actually comes.

Quote:In the bible it says the eyes are the window to the soul. Whatever the original thought behind that saying was, I think it comes from the "jolt" of connection or empathy that we feel if we look into another's eyes. I think that if we make direct eye contact, we are able to pick up SO much body language and emotion from them, so much more than they are saying to us with words, that it cuts straight through their outer shield or personality mask they're wearing. After all, didn't we communicate for many many many years before spoken language was even in the picture? Smile Maybe you can try to use eye contact in conjunction with language to soothingly bring the person you're talking to into the present moment by communicating fully with them, and not just mask to mask. Hmm, I think I'll try to be aware of the way I'm communicating and eye contact from now on. Thanks for allowing me to come to this idea! haha
Actually I already do communicate deeply with people if I can have a moment of peace with them, but I think that it's a matter of me going crazy if I was to connect with everyone constantly. Currently, I do not have a high view of most people in our society... I see so much potential in everyone but I get sickened by people's actions due to what the society has trained them to do. It's like seeing Angels from heaven being held captive with brain control halos, reaping destruction on the earth. I have not discovered the exact reason why I am still trying to avoid eye contact, but *basically* I think it's to avoid my heart from aching. The more spiritual I get, the more sad I get from my daily experiences. I'm not here to get pity, it is the price I willingly paid for my increasing enlightenment.
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12-13-2009, 10:49 AM,
#7
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
Quote:Please note that I'm not trying to determine the exact explanations for this, but to find any common truths between different perceptions.

Of course, life means many different things to many different people. Smile What I can say one way, you can say another, and so on and so forth... the beauty of the human mind. It's so hard to put the Truth into words. In fact, it might be impossible! But the love that we are both capable of feeling is certainly the same thing inside. It's universal!

Quote:Agreed, to feel highly enlightened already *might* be a sign of the ego kicking in. Maybe finding the key to the next set of lessons might be part of the graduation to the next level of enlightenment. Hey if it was easy, everyone would be enlightened already.

Yes, as you become more conscious, ego doesn't just vanish. It "rises" with you and still seeks to come out at every occasion, in everything you say. I think it's again a matter of balance, of shining the light of awareness on that ego continually, always smiling and laughing at it, and never taking it too seriously.
I will be looking for that key... to find what I can do in every moment to spread awakening and realization of the Truth.

Quote:Well I think that the next lesson always come to you, just have to be alert and watch for the subtle signs. I view next lessons like pop quizzes. Before the pop quiz arrives, it would improve your chances if you worked hard on improving oneself, so that you would be better equipped to learn and pass from the pop quiz when it actually comes.

I agree, whether or not you feel like you are "ready", the wheel will turn at the right time and you will be facing the next lesson. And like you said, there is never "downtime". If you are continually pointing the "arrow of zen" at yourself, continually focusing attention on the self, continually working hard on improving yourself, you will feel more ready for that next lesson.

Quote:Actually I already do communicate deeply with people if I can have a moment of peace with them, but I think that it's a matter of me going crazy if I was to connect with everyone constantly. Currently, I do not have a high view of most people in our society... I see so much potential in everyone but I get sickened by people's actions due to what the society has trained them to do. It's like seeing Angels from heaven being held captive with brain control halos, reaping destruction on the earth. I have not discovered the exact reason why I am still trying to avoid eye contact, but *basically* I think it's to avoid my heart from aching. The more spiritual I get, the more sad I get from my daily experiences. I'm not here to get pity, it is the price I willingly paid for my increasing enlightenment.

Kudos to you for keeping yourself sane! You're the only one who can do it, you know. Haha
I can sympathize with you on the idea of seeing everyone as a human Being trapped by negative codependency on others. It feels to me simultaneously saddening and yet motivating... Time to unplug everyone from the Matrix, one by one!
In this link, a social memory complex called "Aaron" (uncanny, I know) is channeled, identifying themselves as the brother/sister energy of Q'uo. (although the way they use bro/sis, it could just mean they are "friends") I was just reading this last night and there seems to be a lot of relative information here. The session focuses on balancing ego with teaching, always watching the ego, and about how we are all codependent and we polarize that negatively or positively. It's where I learned the useful phrase "negative codependancy". Haha
http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/issues/1993/1993_0118_1_draft.aspx
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12-13-2009, 01:21 PM,
#8
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
(12-12-2009, 11:34 AM)Aaron Wrote:  I would have inspirational thoughts like "Living things (yang) act, nonliving things (yin) are acted upon." and "The (yang) action leads to the (yin) state."

May I encourage you to document those ideas and share them with others? A "thought for the day" along those lines would inspire me.

Quote:Sorry for the long winded post... sometimes I wish I could articulate ideas better!

Kid, that ain't long winded. When I was your age, we had to carve our ideas into the rock using our fingernails. A big idea required us to find a whole new cave and get the saber-toothed tigers out of it. Sometimes the fire would go out and we'd have to restart our smoke signals with a new HTTP request for the next village. But we didn't have error correction yet so we couldn't tell if a cloud was a bad packet or just a flying saucer visiting with some crazy new invention like writing or the plow or something. And ya know what, we liked it! So don't you go apologizing for yer little 500 word "long winded post," OK? Tongue
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12-13-2009, 03:15 PM,
#9
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
Quote:May I encourage you to document those ideas and share them with others? A "thought for the day" along those lines would inspire me.

I've thought of doing this before, but for some reason I never feel inclined to write down my thoughts. They never feel valuable enough! Haha I will start jotting down my inspirational flashes from now on and share them occasionally. Smile

Quote:Kid, that ain't long winded. When I was your age, we had to carve our ideas into the rock using our fingernails. A big idea required us to find a whole new cave and get the saber-toothed tigers out of it. Sometimes the fire would go out and we'd have to restart our smoke signals with a new HTTP request for the next village. But we didn't have error correction yet so we couldn't tell if a cloud was a bad packet or just a flying saucer visiting with some crazy new invention like writing or the plow or something. And ya know what, we liked it! So don't you go apologizing for yer little 500 word "long winded post," OK? Tongue

HAHA! You got it. Can I apologize if a post is too short? Just kidding... Big Grin
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12-14-2009, 01:45 AM, (This post was last modified: 12-14-2009, 01:50 AM by creationist.)
#10
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
Quote:Kudos to you for keeping yourself sane! You're the only one who can do it, you know. Haha
I can sympathize with you on the idea of seeing everyone as a human Being trapped by negative codependency on others. It feels to me simultaneously saddening and yet motivating... Time to unplug everyone from the Matrix, one by one!
In this link, a social memory complex called "Aaron" (uncanny, I know) is channeled, identifying themselves as the brother/sister energy of Q'uo. (although the way they use bro/sis, it could just mean they are "friends") I was just reading this last night and there seems to be a lot of relative information here. The session focuses on balancing ego with teaching, always watching the ego, and about how we are all codependent and we polarize that negatively or positively. It's where I learned the useful phrase "negative codependancy". Haha
http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/issues/1993/1993_0118_1_draft.aspx

Thank you for the link, I glanced and it and decided that I need to clear my mind and get more sleep before I attempt to fully absorb it, as not to waste any opportunities for useful insights. The channeled material has many layers of import which I want to be at my peak mental capacity to fully understand the simultaneous meanings, as they apply to different aspects of me.

btw I PMed you =)
(12-13-2009, 01:21 PM)Questioner Wrote:  May I encourage you to document those ideas and share them with others? A "thought for the day" along those lines would inspire me.

I have always been trying to start up a project that makes it easier for the general public to better understand and accept the light. One of the problem with awakening for people is the lack of accessibility due to our terrible education system. Sure people awaken from day to day bumbling, but perhaps something more efficient can be done.
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12-14-2009, 12:54 PM,
#11
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
Quote:I have always been trying to start up a project that makes it easier for the general public to better understand and accept the light. One of the problem with awakening for people is the lack of accessibility due to our terrible education system. Sure people awaken from day to day bumbling, but perhaps something more efficient can be done.

Not too long ago, I had the thought "Now that I am awake, what is the most effective way to spread the light in our current world?" (world meaning social population and attitude) I got the idea that sometime in the future, I could start up a video game developing studio, and create games that are wholly playable, and yet have a not immediately apparent message of awakening within. I thought that that might be the most effective way to reach today's youth, who are always looking away from education to entertainment. Why not make their entertainment enlightening? Why not make it express the Law of One? Think Braid.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braid_%28video_game%29

Unfortunately, I'm not in a position right now to be able to start up something like that. However, maybe later in life I will be. Right now, I am working on starting to create my own music that expresses the LOO. Smile
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12-14-2009, 01:08 PM,
#12
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
(12-14-2009, 12:54 PM)Aaron Wrote:  Not too long ago, I had the thought "Now that I am awake, what is the most effective way to spread the light in our current world?" (world meaning social population and attitude) I got the idea that sometime in the future, I could start up a video game developing studio, and create games that are wholly playable, and yet have a not immediately apparent message of awakening within. I thought that that might be the most effective way to reach today's youth, who are always looking away from education to entertainment. Why not make their entertainment enlightening? Why not make it express the Law of One? Think Braid.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braid_%28video_game%29

Unfortunately, I'm not in a position right now to be able to start up something like that. However, maybe later in life I will be. Right now, I am working on starting to create my own music that expresses the LOO. Smile

Yup I'm going to setup something easily accessible through google for the masses, yet easy for guest writers to contribute. What I've learned over the years with projects is to start small and grow from there, instead of starting big and never getting it off the ground. Who knows where my project will go, but even if it can help just 1% of the people that reads it, I would have done something good.

Just to ensure I don't get too far off topic, I am doing this as part of my "awakening day job", so that aside from just experiencing life as it comes, I'm also going to attempt to increase the level of positive harvest through grassroots movements. I wouldn't mind having more friends at the party on the other side =)
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12-14-2009, 04:15 PM,
#13
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
(12-14-2009, 12:54 PM)Aaron Wrote:  I could start up a video game developing studio...

In that case, check out carrie's threads about her Law of One game development ideas. She has the background in game programming and is exploring how to represent the spiritual lessons in form of video game storytelling.

Quote:Right now, I am working on starting to create my own music that expresses the LOO. Smile

That's something I'd like to do too. David Wilcock beat us to it but I think there's room for more spiritual musicians. I would ultimately like to see it be a mini-movement comparable to "spiritual cinema."
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12-15-2009, 08:10 AM,
#14
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
I enjoyed your story... welcome
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12-15-2009, 05:25 PM,
#15
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
Hi! It is amazing that you were able to change your entire thought process all on your own. I had to have some people really kick me in the pants before I got going completely in the direction I want to be in. Sounds like you have a true wanderer's heart. Your words sound a lot like what I've been hearing from my teacher lately. First you have to know your thoughts, then who is behind them- you. Know thyself, and all else will follow. Sending light your way!

-Lynn
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12-15-2009, 11:07 PM, (This post was last modified: 12-15-2009, 11:16 PM by creationist.)
#16
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
(12-15-2009, 08:10 AM)ayadew Wrote:  I enjoyed your story... welcome

Thank you for your welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed my story enough to write me a response too! May you have a very pleasant journey =)
(12-15-2009, 05:25 PM)ahktu Wrote:  Hi! It is amazing that you were able to change your entire thought process all on your own. I had to have some people really kick me in the pants before I got going completely in the direction I want to be in. Sounds like you have a true wanderer's heart. Your words sound a lot like what I've been hearing from my teacher lately. First you have to know your thoughts, then who is behind them- you. Know thyself, and all else will follow. Sending light your way!

-Lynn

Thank you Lynn for your appreciation and your light! It actually does warm my heart. (I've been working on my heart chakra often lately, not with any specific techniques but just trying to open it in a balanced way and spread love from it)

I'm not sure if I deserve that much credit, I think I've received much asskicking, but they just didn't accumulate into the critical threshold till a later point.

Here's an interesting thing I always find: even if at this moment I am at perfect peace, feeling the seconds tick by, slower and slower, typing this sentence word by word as a sculptor might create a masterpiece... when I am finished typing this paragraph and get back into the world, it's like I am another person entirely, performing the next act of the play. Even if at this moment, I realize so many of the daily things I do are so inefficient or just plain silly, I still do them, and I wonder why. I think it's alright though, as long as I remember to smile. =)
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12-16-2009, 01:50 PM,
#17
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
Hello and welcome!

I thank you much for sharing with such honesty. We learn from eachother, its a beuatiful thing to place ones self in anothers shoes and see where they come from through their experiences.

Peace and love always to you
Lynette
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12-16-2009, 02:58 PM,
#18
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
(12-16-2009, 01:50 PM)litllady Wrote:  Hello and welcome!

I thank you much for sharing with such honesty. We learn from eachother, its a beuatiful thing to place ones self in anothers shoes and see where they come from through their experiences.

Peace and love always to you
Lynette

You are very welcome, and what you said is very true. I've often see how people pre-establish the value of someone's words based on their appearance or financial success. But I believe that's just the brain-dead way out. I believe that every person's words are golden, as long as you take the time to think and feel deeply where they're coming from, absorbing their perspective and unique deviations from your experiences. Each person's few words can speak volumes if you look hard enough!
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12-20-2009, 01:31 PM,
#19
RE: Story of my Awakening From Day 1
[slight negativity warning]

Here is something important I forgot to include, but remembered when I read another thread talking about "needing" catalysts at a particular point in time.

My theory is that if I awakened earlier, my Dad would not have needed to die. I have thought about this issue many many times before, and this is still the conclusion I came to. Is there any self resentment? Sure there is. Do I regret being more awakened now due to the huge catalyst? No, of course I appreciate and love my awakening. But the price is just so high, that I regret my lack of efficiency for awakening so many years ago.

Lesson of my story, learn to resolve issues before they blow up in your face.
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