Wow. I’ve let almost two months elapse since the date on your letter to me. The last time I wrote to you, I was sitting at L/L Research headquarters while Reiko slept on the floor beside me. The daffodils were in bloom and I was just putting the last touches on the second LOOP newsletter.
Now I’m sitting here editing your copy for the third newsletter. In less than an hour I’m hosting our LOO study group. I still have to straighten up the toys and put the last of the laundry away.
Michael (my husband) told me not to accept any more service. He knows I want to help everybody, but I only have enough time to serve so many projects. He got laid off in February and is still trying to get a new position in his field. The first restriction he put on me was not to donate any more money. Ha! With most wives it would be no more shoes or spending in general. But my husband has to say stop giving our money away for a while.
So what do I do? I decide to be a channel. We had our 2nd intensive a couple of weeks ago. It went very well. They are going to put the transcript of it up on the web, so when that happens I can send you a copy, if you’re interested.
They still haven’t made a spot for our letters online. Everything is done on a volunteer basis, and like me, they all take on more service than they can handle, so things go slow. The Homecoming at L/L that’s taking place in September is going to be a collection of whatever the participants wish to talk about--every one with their own slotted time. I will be talking about the LOOP and my correspondences with incarcerated seekers in general. I am going to print out a copy of all our letters, including a set from another seeker in prison, and put them in a ring binder for the group to read. I would welcome a letter to the group if you are interested in speaking to people interested in what Carla calls the “prison ministry.” This way you can be a part of homecoming too, until you can join us in person.
“How I long to be released from this 3rd density illusion. There is so much going on spiritually but I feel bondaged by the wraps of many entities who believe that what they see is real.”
Oh, how terribly tiring it is to keep going sometimes. I am in awe of the incarnation you chose as your service to this planet and its peoples. I grew up in the country where my mom raised and homeschooled me. I felt a crushing loneliness so depressing I asked for release from this incarnation many, many times. I’m glad I held on. I was never given the opportunity to walk into the light, like Carla was given when her kidneys failed at 13 after asking for release from this incarnation.
I’ve been given a glorious opportunity to be of service. Even during times of oppressing sadness, I know I’d come back to do this all over again. But it’s still hard when I’m in the midst of it.
“My sister, Patti, is a surviving cancer patient….She isn’t awakened as we are but her illness is acting as a catalyst to her newfound awareness of faith.”
My sister also is semi-awakened, I’d say. She has read the Ra Material and talks about the afterlife, but still says things like “I’m not sure anything exist after we’re dead—I think we just die.” My husband is mostly the same. He believes that I believe I’m a channel, but I’m not sure he thinks aliens really talk to me through my mind. It sounds a little crazy to me too, sometimes. Sometimes when we’re talking at L/L we’ll say someone is crazy (in jest) and then say “because we’re not crazy people—talking to aliens.”
“Do you practice yoga? I can imagine that a nice meditation moment for you is having Reiko napping in your arms while you sit quietly in the sunshine.”
I used to practice yoga. I did it daily, but I don’t get it done when I have to keep little hands from pulling down a water glass, bending a book, hitting me with a block, going potty in the corner, crying to be picked up, etc. It seems like I should be able to just lock myself in a room and get it done, but I really have to work at that because even in an empty room she demands attention even when I try to ignore her for a few minutes.
I could have someone watch her, but which of the things do I do when I have a spare moment? There are dishes to wash, floors to vacuum, letters to write, meditation to sit with, spiritual reading piling up. I kept myself real busy with my spiritual studies before I had a baby. I keep busy but always keep my eye on the ball, as it were. I analyze the world constantly through the eyes of the Law of One. I pray and thank the Mother and the Sun and the Creator frequently. I contemplate metaphysical topics while I’m rolling a ball between us. There’s no way I could keep from doing metaphysical studies. They just take a different form now.
“When you were pregnant with Reiko, her soul spoke to you and shared with you a place that the two of you lived together in a past life. Can you share with me more of this “desert life” with her and any other visions you may have had?”
Sure. The only things I really remember about he “desert life” was her and I sitting alone, away from the (I don’t know what word to use) tribe/dwellings. There was something before us like a fire pit or food preparations (mill, cauldron, foodstuffs), maybe both. We were sitting on the ground in robe-like clothes—sort of a middle-eastern garb. We were both female and she was younger, maybe 15, I maybe 20, or 10 and 15? The area was red and rocky like arches Utah with some sandiness. The tribe/dwellings were carved into the stone like a series of caves stacked one on top of another. That was the vision.
I had a hypnotherapist help me remember what may have been a past life in India, but I don’t feel as certain about that one and then a few days ago I had a dream of the old west and said in the dream that this was a past life. But it was nothing I remember well.
Thank you for the Wondering Thoughts submission. I changed Varagus to Barragus since there is only one reference to Varagus, which is in a newsletter and not a transcript. I think it may have been a typo. Barragus is the spelling that appears everywhere else in the transcripts. Otherwise I’ve only changed commas and apostrophes.
I’ve also included the picture of Reiko from the last time I wrote where she’s sitting at L/L in amidst the daffodils. Until next time, have a great summer in the yard.
Lots of Love and Light to you, Bill.
Your fellow seeker,
PS. I gave your questions for Q’uo to Carla. I have to check up on them. I don’t see them in the transcripts yet, but I believe I could search through the old transcripts an find similar questions that have been asked of Q’uo before. I’ll get you your information somehow.