Bring4th

I am a bigot.  Really, I am.  It is not some delusion or misunderstanding, it is the unfortunate truth about my self.  If you met me, and even befriended me, you probably wouldn’t notice it, but that is probably because I have done such a good job of hiding it.  I’ve been able to hide it so well that I have even convinced myself at times that it is not the case.

My bigotry is all encompassing in that it extends to all the usual things you would imagine such as sexuality, race, gender, religion, disability, culture etc.  The worst part about it is that I paint myself as this all loving, all accepting and thoughtful person when in truth I’m not.  It is always there, underneath the surface, speaking words into my ear and influencing how I feel.  It is so insidious.  I see it in absolutely everyone, even those who claim otherwise.  I am not so sure if it has gotten worse, or I have become more aware of it and all of it’s intricacies.  Probably the latter.      

Let’s take sexuality for example.  Just recently I came across an article about the fluidity of sexuality, the ever increasing list of labels used to identify ones sexuality and how, in truth, sexuality cannot be accurately labelled at all.  At this, I found myself annoyed and even angry with the thought that “it is trendy and cool now a days to jump from one label to another, create your own or eschew labels all together” sincerely inhabiting my mind.  I honestly feel that sexuality has been turned into a game, one that can be chopped and changed at will and that makes me angry for whatever reason.  I understand how offensive and dismissive that is, and that discrimination towards a person’s sexuality can cause great harm, but regardless, such feelings persist.  What business is it of mine how people label or don’t label their sexuality, you ask, and I agree, it is none of my business and it shouldn’t effect me or matter.  I’ll be even more honest and admit that I feel that the love shared between a man and a woman is the most beautiful kind there is.  Again, I am aware of how offensive such a statement is.

Another example.  I was on the train not too long ago and a person with a clear mental disability came and sat opposite me and my immediate reaction was to get up and move, which in all truth persisted until I got off at my stop.  They were drooling and all I could think about was “please don’t get any of that on me”.  Sure, I remained in my seat, but none the less the desire to move was very much there.

The scary part is that all of this is just the tip of the iceberg and that some of the other things I think and feel are much darker and more dehumanising than what I have admitted to above.  I am starting to think that this part of me will always be there, no matter how hard I fight it or how strongly I wish it to leave.  Maybe it is a matter of always being on guard and never letting it influence my actions, and instead containing it within my mind.

from what i see your just voicing your true self and their is nothing wrong with that. im all for same sex marriage in couples, and i find their love equal to that of every other type of love, but i feel like actuall sex changes are only done by highly distorted individuals. I know i don't understand or know what those individuals are going thru, but i believe to change the body you were born in seems like a high level of control and nonacceptance

I think you are a very brave and honest person. It is good to observe ourselves objectively. This way we can identify what serves us still and what doesn't. 

To be fair and objective, there may be more to consider besides bigotry and prejudice here. For instance, I wouldn't want to be drooled on, no way. But that doesn't mean I'm a bigot. 

Things are changing these days and no humans really like change much. When things start moving fast, such as digital technology, it's easy to feel left behind or threatened by a runaway-train feeling. I think there is some of that in the pan-sexual trends going on. Also, one must consider that we have mammalian survival instincts still operating in our brains which tell us that procreation of the species requires a female and a male. And there is the herd instinct, where we are threatened by entities outside the herd and feel comfortable within the herd, which may manifest as sexual or racial bias.

I agree that in general one can't look anywhere and not see some degree of prejudice. The way I deal with this is to keep focusing on my own potential growth while knowing that I am not free yet of all the instinctual, societal, familial, and other 3D pressures that have unconsciously influenced me.

It's up to others if they are offended or not. My girlfriend would jump right on with you on the sexuality thing, she's been ranting about it for months.

I used to think 'non-judgement' meant having no opinions that were in any way preferential to any one thing. I thought that any time I was less than 100% loving and accepting then I was being judgemental and arrogant.

However, perhaps you can think about it this way. Look at how you are speaking to yourself. You see that you are the first 'target'? What I see in this post is that 'voice' speaking to you. Yet, who's voice is it, really? It is the voice of your emotions.

I think maybe if you stopped judging yourself and looked at this nature from the angle of the emotions dwelling within you, you'd see that it's an effect of something deeper going on inside you. Just a thought, of course.

You can still accept something without agreeing with it.

• hates simplistic labels, says man identifying as bigot
  

• upensmoke ur non-acceptance of peoples non-acceptance is unacceptable
  

this thread is both amusing and terrifying  

-----

In regards to my comments on sexuality, thinking about it a bit more, I think I feel afraid that the male/female relationship and bond, which I consider sacred and profound, is somehow under threat, however misguided that may be.  

I don’t understand how I can be feeling this at 22, especially when you take into account that I have grown up in a rather progressive and accepting environment.  I could understand if I was a middle age man who had grown up with these ideas and beliefs, had them repeatedly affirmed and entrenched, and then all of a sudden saw them being challenged and falling apart before my very eyes, but that is simply not the case. I have always identified as being progressive and open minded, but I guess I am more old fashioned than I have been willing to admit.  This must be why romantic films from the 40s and 50s have always moved me so much.  This must also explain why I have such a fondness for songs like the one below:

I am starting to think I was born in the wrong era. I don't want to hold back evolution.

If my self identity, which was thin to begin with, takes any more blows I swear I am going to have a mental breakdown.  

(11-18-2015, 07:48 PM)Diana Wrote: [ -> ]Things are changing these days and no humans really like change much. When things start moving fast, such as digital technology, it's easy to feel left behind or threatened by a runaway-train feeling.

This is a very accurate description of how I am feeling on so many levels.  I feel like I have been left behind.

(11-18-2015, 07:08 PM)Billy Wrote: [ -> ]I am a bigot.  Really, I am.  It is not some delusion or misunderstanding, it is the unfortunate truth about my self. 

I commend you on your brutal honesty with yourself, Billy.

But here's the thing:

It's okay to have preferences. You are allowed to be human. And you are not expected to be some perfect angel incarnate. I can't even imagine you ever treating someone badly in person. You are a very sensitive soul.

So you harbor some of distortions of thought, that you would perceive to be negative characteristics. It okay. The fact is, what we "are" is simply a result of what we practice. If you feel what you perceive to be a negative orientation in one direction, I would advise practicing a kind of balancing meditation or contemplation of the other side of the orientation. I like to make mental lists of positive aspects of things I feel this way about. At first it can feel superficial, but after a couple practice sessions, you start to feel real appreciation for the alternate perspective.

Also, when you can truly accept (love yourself) how you are, then you offer no resistance to change.

(11-18-2015, 08:48 PM)earth_spirit Wrote: [ -> ]Do you make generalizations or presumptions about people based on sexuality, race, gender, religion et cetera? There is nothing wrong with that.. not necessarily anyway.

You're saying that your statements / opinions are offensive. So what? No one has a right not to be offended.

Is it not true though that much of the suffering and mayhem that occurs and has occurred on this planet is a result of discriminatory, separative and intolerant thinking?  I don't want to contribute to that but feel helpless in entirely ridding myself of thoughts and feelings which are in alignment with the above.  I've tried ignoring these impulses, being honest about them, putting my attention elsewhere etc but they remain none the less.

Quote:I think that trying to fight, control, or contain your feelings is a rather negative approach.. and would have the opposite effect. You can let it flow freely through you, but you don't have to own up to it.

I don't really understand what you mean by this.

I think what truly makes this hard to stomach is the sheer hypocrisy of it all and how I feel that I of all people should know better.  I know what it is like to feel different, worthless, abnormal etc yet still I participate, even if just on the level of thought, in making others feel the same.

(11-19-2015, 04:52 AM)anagogy Wrote: [ -> ]It's okay to have preferences.  You are allowed to be human.  And you are not expected to be some perfect angel incarnate.  I can't even imagine you ever treating someone badly in person.  You are a very sensitive soul.  

It's not that I'm afraid that I will treat someone poorly in person, not consciouly at least, but more so that on the more subtle levels, I am adding to the negativity on this planet.  

Quote:So you harbor some of distortions of thought, that you would perceive to be negative characteristics.  It okay.  The fact is, what we "are" is simply a result of what we practice.  If you feel what you perceive to be a negative orientation in one direction, I would advise practicing a kind of balancing meditation or contemplation of the other side of the orientation.  I like to make mental lists of positive aspects of things I feel this way about.  At first it can feel superficial, but after a couple practice sessions, you start to feel real appreciation for the alternate perspective.

I often wish that I could switch my body and mind with another, walk in their shoes for a little while, and truly understand where they are coming from. Maybe in the future, we will have technology which will allow that.

With the mental list suggestion, do you mean that for every troubling thought I have, replace it with a more positive one? Say for example, I have the thought "you are ugly" towards a person, would I then think the thought "you are beautiful"? Should I think this opposite/balancing thought directly after having the not so positive one or later? And how many times should I affirm it? I guess I could make it a meditation where I dedicate a certain period of time to doing this.

Billy, you're normal; Except you're abnormal in being aware of your normality.

Look at a political map with all its political bigotry of separating peoples and take a number. You're not special: Every human being is a bigot in some way; Xenophobia is our way of life.

Even Ra is a bigot in that it allots itself a name that is implicitly separate from everything else. If Ra were truly wise, it would operate without a name; But still they descend themselves to bigotry by allotting themselves the concept of "other" and a name.

(11-19-2015, 05:39 AM)Billy Wrote: [ -> ]With the mental list suggestion, do you mean that for every troubling thought I have, replace it with a more positive one?  Say for example, I have the thought "you are ugly" towards a person, would I then think the thought "you are beautiful"?  Should I think this opposite/balancing thought directly after having the not so positive one or later?  And how many times should I affirm it?  I guess I could make it a meditation where I dedicate a certain period of time to doing this.

Either/or.  Basically, the idea is if you *look* for evidence, you will find it.  So if you think someone is ugly, try to look for aspects of them that are not ugly.  You could think thoughts like, 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder', 'there is someone out there for everyone', 'what makes someone beautiful or not?'.  That line of contemplation.

But really, I don't know if that is the best example, I personally think it is perfectly fine to have a preference over the way one thing looks over another thing.  That is part of being human.

I find some flowers more beautiful than other flowers.  There is no wrong in that, it's just my personality.

In the example you brought up earlier in regards to the fluidity of sexuality, a similar analysis applies.  The way I do it is I look at a given concept or idea and as I do, I keep in my awareness how I feel.  Do I feel good about my perspective?  Do I feel bad?  If I feel bad about it, I approach it from different directions until my feel my emotional balance come back.

So an example train of thought might go like:

- People who claim sexuality is fluid are wrong and that annoys me (negative).

- That is not MY experience of reality. (slightly negative)

- There are a lot of different opinions to this subject. (neutral)

- Different things are true for different people. (neutral)

- What is truth anyway, but a consensus of agreement among a group of people about an observed aspect of their experience? (neutral)

- Even though I don't experience sexual fluidity like some other people do, who is to say their experience of reality isn't just as valid as my experience? (slightly positive)

- Perhaps sexual fluidness is very true for some people. (positive)

Anyway, that is just a crude example.  But like I said, you are just thinking through this stuff with your honest emotive resonance in mind.  Your emotions indicate your alignment with the Source inside of you, which is pure positivity.

(11-19-2015, 01:36 AM)Billy Wrote: [ -> ]In regards to my comments on sexuality, thinking about it a bit more, I think I feel afraid that the male/female relationship and bond, which I consider sacred and profound, is somehow under threat, however misguided that may be.  

I don’t understand how I can be feeling this at 22, especially when you take into account that I have grown up in a rather progressive and accepting environment.  I could understand if I was a middle age man who had grown up with these ideas and beliefs, had them repeatedly affirmed and entrenched, and then all of a sudden saw them being challenged and falling apart before my very eyes, but that is simply not the case. I have always identified as being progressive and open minded, but I guess I am more old fashioned than I have been willing to admit.  This must be why romantic films from the 40s and 50s have always moved me so much.  This must also explain why I have such a fondness for songs like the one below:

I am starting to think I was born in the wrong era.  I don't want to hold back evolution.

If my self identity, which was thin to begin with, takes any more blows I swear I am going to have a mental breakdown.  

(11-18-2015, 07:48 PM)Diana Wrote: [ -> ]Things are changing these days and no humans really like change much. When things start moving fast, such as digital technology, it's easy to feel left behind or threatened by a runaway-train feeling.

This is a very accurate description of how I am feeling on so many levels.  I feel like I have been left behind.

You're not alone in this at all. My girlfriend and I have both experienced in our lives many moments where we have had to defend our heterosexual, monogamous orientation. We are very polarized in a lot of ways as male and female. She is very feminine, I am very masculine, and we embrace this. I think you are feeling the same thing in that while it has become a new big thing to create alternate sexual labels it has also backlashed on tradition values and has turned in to a 'either or' kind of situation.

For a long time I felt like I was fundamentally 'wrong' for being a regular white, heterosexual, monogamous male in this new age of 'fluid sexuality' (which my girlfriend vehemently denies, she is rigidly heterosexual). So, in that way, I feel the same. That 'regular' types of relationships have been demonized as being 'close-minded' but that's like feminism taken to the extreme of man-hating. Many people seem to feel that in order to embrace alternative sexuality you need to deny or reject/refute what is 'traditional' but really, with true acceptance both would be valid and appreciated, imo.

Maybe you just need to appreciate your own sexuality a bit more?

Plus, if we take Ra's advice (as 'bigoted' as they are LOL that cracks me up), then its more serving to play out those thoughts on the mental plane. If you were truly bigoted, you would be saying this stuff to peoples' faces.

I'm gonna throw a curve ball at you though because it sounds to me like you are maybe not identifying the phenomenon correct. What I think you are experiencing is a form of empathic telepathy. What you are actually picking up is the persons hidden or deep feelings towards themselves. I studied this phenomenon for quite awhile before I decided it was the case. I found that doing empathic work the information would appear in my head as though it is from my perspective, but empathy is a union of ourselves as One, so we temporarily become that other person. So when you are getting those thoughts it's maybe you picking up parts of their inner image and it is being reflected within you which appears like you are thinking that to way towards them, but really you are just taking a step in to them and seeing a moment of what they may think of themselves.

Since working with it in this way, I've found a sudden distinction between the voice of my feelings and my 'empathic' voice. It seems different, but it's the same voice that picks up good feelings. It's like an instrument that can play both happy, positively sounding chords, as well as sorrowful or angry sounding chords. If you begin to view the many voices as one you begin to see that it's kind of like a loudspeaker, a radio picking up thoughts and playing them back constantly.

(11-19-2015, 01:36 AM)Billy Wrote: [ -> ]I don’t understand how I can be feeling this at 22...
...
...If my self identity, which was thin to begin with, takes any more blows I swear I am going to have a mental breakdown.  

Hi fellow bigot, if yer a bigot then I'm a monster.
The quote is probably the most mirrorred thing I could have read today...  My self identity is gone, I had my mental breakdown when I identified reality as hellish enough to be potentially actually be Hell (and it has only gone lower).

Yet.  I understand how you say you feel.  I get it.  I can't stand many things.  I cant stand being a male who's expected to follow unspoken male principles socially but I identify closer to feminine.

I have an issue with people who have issues towards transgender, homosexuality and such but yer views aren't issues.  You feel mad bro?  But you're still nice and treat them human?  I call that kindness.

And as a monster speaking to a bigot.  Stahp dewin dat bro.  You can't be a bigot if you're kindly about the things that you think make you a bigot.

I hate getting drooled on.  But me, personally, I'll take autistic or special what'ed over some trashy asshat on public transportation.  I'll take a kid in a walker over a douchy juggalo.  Its not bigotry, its preference.  You can have feelings. Opinions.  Preferences.

I dislike most gay men, they're (overgeneralizingly on my part) mean.  Just like radical feminists piss me off trying to ruin my life for being born a certain way.

Just like religious zealots make me angry when they're greedy and hypocritical without admitting it.

Just like I loathe children until they're 5 and then I LOVE KIDS. (I think I am a kid at heart...) but somehow can't handle them when they're quiet and absorbed unto the parent.

No way man.  I'm 23, gave up on society and I hate everything now a days very very often yet I don't identify truly as a genuine sincere ass, hypocrite, bigot, or monster.

I identify as pissed off and given up.  I had no more identity the moment I saw OIC as a monstrous brutal entity.  When I identified myself as the same, I gave up on the Universe and everything.  The games of society, the madness of opinion, the horror of apathy.  I'm all alone by choice now, I avoid people and things now as my 'divine path', someone once said you can't bargain with your higher self.

I wish they could see my life right now.  I don't play games with monsters.  There is no divine path, just another Version of the Truth.

You.  You're not someone I feel anger towards.

You can't be a bad person.  Not in the way you think you are.  Same goes for me.

I'm not an infinite multidimensional timeless horror using self aware machine-like hominids to 'reexperience' the ways of Hell by traumatizing them, by design, just to get a clue.

Au revoir, sense and logic.

How could you be a bigot?  You care enough to feel pain at your own bigoted thoughts

I think Ra only takes a name, for our bigoted labeling mad ways of being, to better work with us

Humans are a mighty colorful bunch. Douchy juggalos, drooling bus riders, people who view sexuality different than us. Little ones who have yet to be moulded and shaped by societal framework.

I encourage everyone here to learn to let go of society's standards. First, they are constantly changing. Secondly, I think Ra's description of the Matrix of the Spirit should be considered thoroughly and internalized:

Quote:80.10 Questioner: Now, the fifteenth archetype, which is the Matrix of the Spirit, has been called the Devil. Can you tell me why that is so?

Ra: I am Ra. We do not wish to be facile in such a central query, but we may note that the nature of the spirit is so infinitely subtle that the fructifying influence of light upon the great darkness of the spirit is very often not as apparent as the darkness itself. The progress chosen by many adepts becomes a confused path as each adept attempts to use the Catalyst of the Spirit. Few there are which are successful in grasping the light of the sun. By far, the majority of adepts remain groping in the moonlight and, as we have said, this light can deceive as well as uncover hidden mystery. Therefore, the melody, shall we say, of this matrix often seems to be of a negative and evil, as you would call it, nature.

It is also to be noted that an adept is one which has freed itself more and more from the constraints of the thoughts, opinions, and bonds of other-selves. Whether this is done for service to others or service to self, it is a necessary part of the awakening of the adept. This freedom is seen by those not free as what you would call evil or black. The magic is recognized; the nature is often not.

We see these experiences with the "less-tolerable" other-selves as an evil experience - a bad one. Something to be avoided. But really these situations are set up to let us learn how to be accepting in the face of extreme catalyst. It is entirely possible to look upon these people with loving acceptance, and at the same time, be "freed...more from the constraints of the thoughts, opinions, and bonds of other-selves". It's one of those paradoxes - All is One, even what we hate is a part of us - but those who are espousing views or performing acts that we don't agree with, we don't have to identify with that. It's hard to explain because identify is not the word, we should identify with all. But we are also on our own path as individual sparks of the Creator. When we see others doing things we don't approve of, we get angry at them AND ourselves, because on some level we recognize it as a part of us. But, this is 3rd density, and we all have free will to identify with or feel what we want. That includes any prejudiced feelings. But we can also choose to rise above it and in all situations see the Creator, and choose love and acceptance.

I mean, to know one's mind, one must ask themselves truly, deeply, why these other selves are so bothersome. I'm just gonna use the children one as an example because so many people have feelings similar to "I hate all kids." I think this stems from the idea that kids are "untamed", and those of us still trying to remove the constraints of society see children as unhewn sculptures of their potential selves. We all experience the shaping by society and most of us come out worse for the wear - so I'm speculating that general adult hatred of children comes from their experience of childhood that was less than ideal.

Acceptance is the great healer. In denying the validity of the feelings of others, you are denying their existence, and no healing can be done. One must accept the catalyst before it can be thoroughly worked - you cannot heal that which you deny. You must learn to find validity in the points of view and experiences of others.

Also, Billy, and everyone else here, I don't see anyone as bigoted. Prejudiced maybe, which is a little less extreme. But we're confused. We hear so many hateful things about others that sometimes we internalize those things and attach to these thoughts/ideas as our own. Especially when we're too connected to the online world, I think - a prevalent opinion can become pervasive and we can unconsciously accept it without even knowing it. Having genuine interactions with real-life versions of those we think we hate can help dispel these strange preconceptions. For example, no one else's sexual experiences will ever affect the sanctity of my husband and I's relationship - why would it? Our relationship is a personal thing between the two of us. I also think that any two gender types can form a sacred relationship. Male/female is one of those third density dichotomies that has been created to allow for extreme catalyst - such as the catalyst you experience. I would continue the exercises above, and just ask to be more accepting and understanding of others. These things can creep into your psyche before you know it, if you open up to them (just like the bad thoughts!).

(11-18-2015, 08:13 PM)spero Wrote: [ -> ]

• hates simplistic labels, says man identifying as bigot
  

• upensmoke ur non-acceptance of peoples non-acceptance is unacceptable
  

this thread is both amusing and terrifying  

could u elaborate more so, cuz im confused on what u perceive me not accepting ?  I dont know or understand why people go thru sex changes, and i think it is distorted. I feel that doesn't imply its wrong or that i don't accept them.  I just feel like to say im not happy with the body im born with and then to change into something else is a form of control an non acceptance of themselves. 

I also feel like anyone who preaches religion faith or spiritually as a fact with 100% certainty and not a theory are somewhat distorted as well. but that doesnt me i dont accept such people. 

thinking something is distorted does equate to me not accepting it at least to me

Acceptance is the great healer.

I'll keep that in mind...

(11-19-2015, 05:39 AM)Billy Wrote: [ -> ]It's not that I'm afraid that I will treat someone poorly in person, not consciouly at least, but more so that on the more subtle levels, I am adding to the negativity on this planet.  

The fact that you are conscious and critical of your own thoughts in this regard means you have the opportunity, ability, and honor/responsibility to offer healing to a portion of this planet which does indeed cause suffering.

I agree with you in that "much of the suffering and mayhem that occurs and has occurred on this planet is a result of discriminatory, separative and intolerant thinking." I have been on the receiving end of such intolerance, but have witnessed greater intolerance and witnessed the harm that it causes. Including intolerance towards non-heterosexual identities, non-gender conforming identities, and a great range of expressions of the Creator. It should be said that it is possible to be intolerant towards heterosexual and cisgendered individuals as well, and this type of intolerance can be harmful as well, but people who identify as such experience a level of comfort in our society because of their normativity that they are usually unconscious to. It's impossible to understand the type of anxiety and discomfort one can feel simply by having an identity which society views as "lesser" or even refuses to acknowledge. I believe all of this is true.

However, who alive on Earth today can say that they are completely conscious of all of their biases, distortions, and non-acceptances? I honestly don't think a single person can. You, Billy, happen to be on a path that views consciousness and acceptance as an ideal to strive for. And from what I can tell in this post, you feel you have failed to meet this ideal, and this is causing some anxiety and discomfort. It is a major pitfall of our path, I think. We may strive to be non-biased and non-judgmental, but then we are biased and judgmental of ourselves when we find ourselves to be biased or judgmental. Round and round it goes.

So I believe that before embarking on the type of work you are attempting to do, in healing these thoughts that may seem "inappropriate," it's important to cultivate an understanding and acceptance of ourselves and our shadows, and move forward knowing that we're going to uncover and experience things that we may beat ourselves up over. And sometimes, these biases may be so ingrained that simple awareness of them does not heal them. If we are unable to accept ourselves and our perceived "shortcomings," this can lead to a lifelong struggle with self-judgment and anxiety.

Ra talks about such practice:

Quote:5.2
To begin to master the concept of mental discipline it is necessary to examine the self. The polarity of your dimension must be internalized. Where you find patience within your mind you must consciously find the corresponding impatience and vice versa. Each thought that a being has, has in its turn an antithesis. The disciplines of the mind involve, first of all, identifying both those things of which you approve and those things of which you disapprove within yourself, and then balancing each and every positive and negative charge with its equal. The mind contains all things. Therefore, you must discover this completeness within yourself.

The second mental discipline is acceptance of the completeness within your consciousness. It is not for a being of polarity in the physical consciousness to pick and choose among attributes, thus building the roles that cause blockages and confusions in the already-distorted mind complex. Each acceptance smoothes part of the many distortions that the faculty you call judgment engenders.

It is okay to have things about ourselves of which we disapprove. How we approach and process those things can help or hinder us on our paths to become more loving, accepting, and healing. We must love and accept ourselves before we can start to love and accept others. It's possible to feel like some biases within us are less desirable than others while at the same time loving and accepting those things. That is the whole process of the Choice, with a big C. We can't make a choice without recognizing and declining to make a different choice, otherwise it's not a choice at all.

And so I would say that if you undertake this process of recognizing, acknowledging, loving and accepting these distortions you call "bigotry," recognizing it is not how you would like to act or feel but not judging yourself for having such thoughts, and then patiently and lovingly moving forward in healing them, there is a subtle positive effect rather than negative effect. It is an admirable task and is one of the reasons we are here, I believe. Good luck.

Upen, I mean...do you feel the same way about breast implants or enlargements or penis enlargement surgery?  As them being forms of nonacceptance?

Or is crossing a gender line where you think nonacceptance begins?

I personally view it as a form of acceptance for some, they accept their bust is small, they did something about it.  They accepted they weren't big enough for themself, did something about it.  They accepted they didn't feel right in their present body, did something about it.

But I'm not arguing yer view, just positing my own version to see how we contrast and to make sense of why we are the way we are.

(Or maybe I'm a narcissist...)

I wonder why we judge at all.

yes i do find breast implants or enlargements or penis enlargement surgery's to be forms of non acceptance. But at the same time i do agree that their is a bit of acceptance in their as well. More broadly i feel like we can't entirely escape duality. For every action will have some acceptance and some nonacceptance, but i feel like such like actions mentioned above are geared more towards the end of non acceptances rather than acceptance.

for example the women who identified as black and worked for the NAACP for a long time. was actually white. I don't think there is anything wrong with that about no longer identifying to being white, but she clearly is not accepting what she is or was. Thats like if i die my skin white and go around telling people im Caucasian. Cleary there would be a bit of me not accepting my trueself, considering im black.

I also feel if those who are honest about the change when talking to otherselfs are those who are more accepting. as oppose to people who try and hide what they changed. This is just my opinion, and my opinion of people doesn't determine how i treat them, its there actions that will determine that.

The only thing i truly dont accept is people who believe they can treat others differently then how they want people to treat them.

(11-19-2015, 05:39 AM)Billy Wrote: [ -> ]With the mental list suggestion, do you mean that for every troubling thought I have, replace it with a more positive one?  Say for example, I have the thought "you are ugly" towards a person, would I then think the thought "you are beautiful"?  Should I think this opposite/balancing thought directly after having the not so positive one or later?  And how many times should I affirm it?  I guess I could make it a meditation where I dedicate a certain period of time to doing this.

This is what I do in the example above. I say to myself, Is it true? Is it true this person is ugly? When I really ask this question of myself, I realize how sweepingly broad a statement it is and how short-sighted it is. Perhaps the person has features that are not by any standards pretty or handsome, but is every feature like that? Are their bodies "ugly" too? Do they dress well? Once I am beginning to be objective, I can realize that ugly was a judgment that simply isn't true. Perhaps the more accurate statement would be, I am not attracted to this person.

On the other hand, I may realize that there is something else about this person I am repelled by which is not physical but an energetic feeling. I recall an instance in the grocery store once. I was behind a lady possibly in her thirties. She was bloated and pasty and not attractive at all. She was being mean to her children. I looked in her cart and noticed it was full of cheap meats like hamburger in huge packages, sugary cereals, donuts, etc.—nothing healthy. I was repulsed by her because of her whole beingness—the dishonor to her own body, the way she treated her children, her "vibes" if you will. She was what I would term as "ugly," not necessarily because she didn't have pretty features, but because of her lack of respect and love for the world. I did realize that she was operating out of ignorance. But I had thoughts such as, If there was one law in this world it would be that only people who passed certain tests could have children, and the like. t will add that at some point I also felt sorry for her. 

Quote:Things are changing these days and no humans really like change much. When things start moving fast, such as digital technology, it's easy to feel left behind or threatened by a runaway-train feeling.

(11-19-2015, 05:39 AM)Billy Wrote: [ -> ]This is a very accurate description of how I am feeling on so many levels.  I feel like I have been left behind.

This world is very fast-paced and everyone is doing everything. As a writer, I feel this strongly. I was an author before everything went digital. So I am of the old school, write a book through a publisher. Now everybody and their brothers writes books and self-publishes (and most don't properly edit or even know grammar) and the market is so saturated with substandard products because there is no filtering system. I'm sure you can tell by my words here that this irritates me (and I am aware that this is because I resist it). It makes it very difficult to flourish now in publishing because it's all about marketing rather than good writing (witness the massively horrible 50 Shades of bad bad writing). Of course there was always the component of "what would sell." But the train is running this way and I must accept and work with what is. But I often wish for simpler and less chaotic days.

When I feel overwhelmed by the sheer scope of everyone doing everything all the time, I read a Victorian novel. In those days, a lady might set aside an entire day to write one letter. In those days, tending to sick loved ones was huge and one could not hurry. My favorite author is Rosa N. Carey and she was prolific. I tracked down every book she ever wrote (she actually lived in that time—late Victorian) and I probably have something like 50 vintage Carey novels. 

Another way I shake off that feeling of fast-paced chaos is to interact in nature. I find it absolutely essential to unplug from popular media and not get swept up in the insane mayhem of modern-day society.

(11-19-2015, 01:16 PM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote: [ -> ]Acceptance is the great healer.

I'll keep that in mind...

I think this is so, so important that it probably deserves it's own thread but I'm still going to post about it here. I knew this was the case but something happened recently that allowed me to articulate why.

As is the case with most modern medicine in our society, when something ails us, we suppress it. Something aches? Take a painkiller. Got a cold? Take a decongestant and cough suppressant. These things remove the symptoms and let us forget that anything is even wrong. We are denying that anything needs healed in the mind. To truly heal, first we must acknowledge and accept that there is an illness - which sounds easier than it is, because honestly, our first response to any pain or discomfort is to deny, reject, deny. If we refuse to consciously acknowledge and accept that the illness exists, our body can never react as if it were ill. Once we -accept- that something is wrong, our body is then able to release all the hormones and chemicals and other communications to its cells to begin the healing process. If we are stuck in the denial stage, no healing can occur.

We can take this further an analogize our responses in the social realm. We mask our discomfort towards the pain of others with feelings of self-righteousness, moral superiority, and wisdom over others' ignorance. If we instead accept that these other selves are ailing, and acknowledge that they themselves are most often in pain and acting out on this pain, we can help begin the healing process, for them and ourselves. Usually the acceptance/healing will involve either becoming more accepting of what you deem unaccepting, or offering you less experiences involving those who you think are doing the wrong thing. Usually it's some combination thereof of inner change and watching the outer reflect it. But, this is why acceptance is so extremely necessary as the first step.

The world is empty. You fill it with yourself. There is no right or wrong, ahead or behind, forward or backwards.

Maybe the expectations we have for ourselves are just too high?

Perhaps you are becoming more aware of your shadow side, another part of yourself needs to be accepted and balanced like the conscious self.

Billy, my hat is off to you for the naked honesty, even if it was just scratching the surface.

I think the opening you created in the OP is a window into how early fourth-density may work. Immediately, or over time, I don't know which, the self will become more cognizant of its own thoughts. Those thoughts will be made visible to the collective.

We will see how much we're all alike - how many distortions of intolerance, conceit, judgment, etc. lie hidden or unexpressed within our minds. That exposure, and mutual acceptance, will presumably create a very healing environment that accepts each for who they are, "warts and all."

Bringing those distortions to light (perhaps different from your OP only in degree, not in kind) in fourth density, and accepting them, will engender the process of their falling away from the self. It is the exposing of the distortions to love that transmutes them into love itself.

(11-19-2015, 05:39 AM)Billy Wrote: [ -> ]I often wish that I could switch my body and mind with another, walk in their shoes for a little while, and truly understand where they are coming from.

You are the most empathetic bigot I've ever heard of!

You are Scrooge post-three ghost visit.

Truly, what you describe is the workings of the open heart, and that quality which leads to its opening: empathy. This desire for greater understanding is stronger, truer, and deeper within you than the shadow of unpleasant opinions and judgments which you notice operating in the background, and sometimes, foreground.

Got a couple of Ra quotes for you:

Quote:19.13 Ra: Consider, if you will, the tree for instance. It is self-sufficient. Consider, if you will, the third-density entity. It is self-sufficient only through difficulty and deprivation. It is difficult to learn alone for there is a built-in handicap, at once the great virtue and the great handicap of third density. That is the rational/intuitive mind.

Thus, the weakening of the physical vehicle, as you call it, was designed to distort entities towards a predisposition to deal with each other. Thus, the lessons which approach a knowing of love can be begun.

So much of our catalyst is simply learning how to relate to one another, learning how to get along, learning how to tolerate, accept, and eventually even love the other self as part of your self.

You are just noticing the raw material for that process.

But whereas the conventional so-called bigot would justify their intolerances, blindly and repetitively acting them out, perhaps even actively working to subjugate/harm/disenfranchise others because of the biases, you are instead examining yourself. You are grabbing hold of something greater than these automatic programs running in your mind. You are awakening the engine of evolution within: consciously exercised desire and will.

And something within you knows in what basic direction to aim that will (that being, upon love). How is that?

Quote:94.9 Ra: That this instrument should fail to see that which has been accomplished and see only that which remains to be accomplished may well be noted. Indeed, any seeker discovering in itself this complex of mental and mental/emotional distortions shall ponder the possible non-efficacy of judgment.

Imagine you are wearing all white. From head to toe you are pristine - not a speck of any color besides pure pure white.

Then, you run for all your worth through one of those color runs.

By the end of the race, what has happened to your formerly white exterior?


Earth is that color run. (Though generally less fun than those google images indicate.)


You cannot incarnate all white and remain all white through incarnation. You will necessarily be colored with the biases, preconceptions, beliefs, ideas, distortions, and paradigms of "the world." It's part of the all-inclusive package deal you got when incarnating here.

* * *

Before we take up the path of spirituality, we internalize those colors and assume they are our own. We let the dye sink in below the skin to some extent.

Upon awakening to the possibilities of the spiritual path, however, we realize that, ultimately, we are not the colors. They are just a vestment.

And we embark upon the long path to discover who it is we really are, underneath the distortions of color.

We do that upon the positive path, of course, by coming to know-accept-love every color which was painted upon us. When we take responsibility for who we are and our creation, we come to realize that we adopted each of those colors. Even if we were raised in, as you said, a progressive household.

We purify those colors into their true distillation.

* * *

E.G.: I'm reading a biography of Albert Einstein right now. He was an exemplary human being on multiple levels, not just for upending and revolutionizing physics.

And here he is trying to discourage his earnest son from marrying the love of his life (a woman his son would stay married to until her death 31 years later).

What does Einstein tell his son? Among other judgmental things, Einstein says that she is, basically, ugly, and their offspring will likely be unattractive.

We are ALL colored by our environments.

(11-19-2015, 11:55 AM)Bring4th_Jade Wrote: [ -> ]Having genuine interactions with real-life versions of those we think we hate can help dispel these strange preconceptions.

I've often wondered if this is part of the reasons why densely populated cities tend to lean left on the political spectrum. They have so much more contact, exposure, and interaction with different types of people that they learn (even if only a begrudging level of) tolerance, and likely even gain understanding.

(11-19-2015, 01:16 PM)upensmoke Wrote: [ -> ]could u elaborate more so, cuz im confused on what u perceive me not accepting ?  I dont know or understand why people go thru sex changes, and i think it is distorted. I feel that doesn't imply its wrong or that i don't accept them.  I just feel like to say im not happy with the body im born with and then to change into something else is a form of control an non acceptance of themselves. 

I also feel like anyone who preaches religion faith or spiritually as a fact with 100% certainty and not a theory are somewhat distorted as well. but that doesnt me i dont accept such people. 

thinking something is distorted does equate to me not accepting it at least to me

firsly i was just trying to be funny but i may have missed the mark  

i think TTP thought up a good example of what i mean with the non-acceptance of other peoples non-acceptance and u provided a  counter example of pretending to be another race

an interesting pathway for this discussion is at what point we think the person has a choice in the way they feel and whether it is in fact a distortion that can be helped or altered. billy is concerned he compulsively feels bigoted or dark emotions. some of us see it as a distortion, some of us as normal and a non-distortion. should billy act on his impulsive thoughts or should he reflect on them and do things to counter them. if billy has been distorted, should he try and correct his distortions or should we just accept billy's distortions/undistorted self regardless of whether it is or isnt distorted.

by labelling something as a distortion are we passing judgment on it?

lots of baggage comes with the word distortion since it implies theres an undistorted or proper way things should be which is why by u using that word in ur example uppensmoke  i accused u of being non-accepting. thats really a sign of the baggage i brought with the word distortion in the first place and not an actual sign that u are non-accepting, so i apologize for that. but still an interesting discussion on whether distortions need or should be corrected could eventuate from all this.

ra calls homosexuality a distortion and a sexual impairment. they explain the root cause of having high proportion of incarnations in the opposite gender and auric infringement. does it being distorted mean its wrong or should be corrected or undistorted.

anyway that was a trippy exercise into my own thought processes and the overall outcome is i have no clue. i project as much as the next person and everyone brings into the conversation their own set of distortions.

Strictly theory and hypothesis:

Within the spectrum of this one doctrine, literature, perhaps homosexuality is relieved as a "distortion" (as Ra claims) when bisexuality, love of both genders, is voluntarily embraced.

Not necessarily my opinion of course.

I would offer that this is a way of reformulating the socratic paradox for modern, politically correct times: you are the least bigoted because you recognize that you are a bigot. So many who take racism seriously, for instance, simply sublimate the racism instead of actually accepting, forgiving, and releasing it. Congratulations on achieving the fundamental honesty necessary to be fully and thoroughly human.