Broken <3

[Wander-Man]

Edited for embarassment, lol

[ayadew]

Well, there are no random occurrences. Almost all major lessons/difficulties you experience in your life has been carefully planned before. Something major such as this, where you really put your soul into it, is something you wished for yourself.
Have faith in that you want the best for yourself. This is very hard when you're in the middle of the crap though... but I think that's a comforting thought.

[Aaron]

This Q'uo session starts off talking about learning from and observing catalyst:

http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._0205.aspx

There's a rich depth of LOO related information in those archives and I encourage you to look for more, to find in there what resonates with you and what wisdom relates to you as you are now.

As for advice that I can give you, well... I would say, having been through a few failed relationships myself, that that central idea which can seem so important to yourself and the relationship turns out to be illusion once you are able to see it from afar. Look into that idea that seemed real and see what lesson it has for you now that the catalyst has passed through you.

The realization of illusion starts small, works its way up to the level of something like a relationship, and goes onward, working up and in the different levels represented by the chakras. Once you "digest" this catalyst, you will see that you're in the midst of the next, and that will bring with it an even higher realization of illusion.

It sounds maybe a little scary or depressing, the continuous imperfection of this life and the seemingly hopeless rolling from catalyst to catalyst. But it's just like Q'uo said in that session: "This illusion leans upon imperfection and forces the mind and the emotions to gaze at that which is not perfect in appearance. This false world-view is designed to be that backdrop against which the common life with its suffering may become a life incandescent with the seeker’s joyful acceptance and eagerness to pursue the processes of change."

With time, your realization of the inherent joy and beauty will grow.

[Questioner]

I just got out of my first relationship. I gave her my heart , she sprayed it with mace and threw it in my face. She did it in the nicest way possible though, lol.

I'm sorry to read about your heartache. With that line of yours, you could get at least have one great pop song out of the mess!

Relationships can feel necessary for us to be complete. If we feel that we are Not Enough, and someone else seems to have That Missing Something We Lack, then we can become desperate to add it and despondent if we lose it.



Relationships are an opportunity to risk being vulnerable and showing our weaknesses. If our vulnerability is used against us, we can feel very much hurt and unappreciated.



I agree with those who say that serious relationships are best pursued after age 25, as it takes most people that long to start having enough emotional maturity to deal well with another individual that closely.

Meanwhile, sometimes we don't know whether to look for someone new, hoping for the best...



or to pounce against the enemy!



I highly recommend that you don't jump in to a "rebound" relationship. Take some time to heal and reconsider what you want and what you have to offer.

Some helpful books:

'How to survive the loss of a love' by Peter McWilliams - a gentle combination of short essays and poetry, excellent to have beside the bed.

'Are you the one for me?' by Barbara De Angelis - She gives a good overview of problems that make someone unsuitable for a relationships. But note that I have some very strong reservations about her description of how to find Mr./Ms. right. In particular she goes into great detail about physical properties and emotional reactions of the ideal partner, but not a word about their ethical integrity, or psychological and spiritual maturity.

'Getting the love you want' - harville hendrix - excellent description of how relationships can be a search for love we didn't get from our parents.

[xlsander]

This Q'uo session starts off talking about learning from and observing catalyst:

http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._0205.aspx

There's a rich depth of LOO related information in those archives and I encourage you to look for more, to find in there what resonates with you and what wisdom relates to you as you are now.

As for advice that I can give you, well... I would say, having been through a few failed relationships myself, that that central idea which can seem so important to yourself and the relationship turns out to be illusion once you are able to see it from afar. Look into that idea that seemed real and see what lesson it has for you now that the catalyst has passed through you.

The realization of illusion starts small, works its way up to the level of something like a relationship, and goes onward, working up and in the different levels represented by the chakras. Once you "digest" this catalyst, you will see that you're in the midst of the next, and that will bring with it an even higher realization of illusion.

It sounds maybe a little scary or depressing, the continuous imperfection of this life and the seemingly hopeless rolling from catalyst to catalyst. But it's just like Q'uo said in that session: "This illusion leans upon imperfection and forces the mind and the emotions to gaze at that which is not perfect in appearance. This false world-view is designed to be that backdrop against which the common life with its suffering may become a life incandescent with the seeker’s joyful acceptance and eagerness to pursue the processes of change."

With time, your realization of the inherent joy and beauty will grow.

wow how beautiful! seems we only tend to see anything as serious when incarnated and veiled. I am sorry for you broken heart my friend and I trust that you will still find happyness!

[Peregrinus]

A man who loves 50 will have 50 woes. A man who loves none will have none. ~Buddha

This incarnate life IS about gaining experience, yet the experience is as much in the suffering and pain as it is in the joys and happiness.

[Brittany]

If you go by the LOO, it gets down to the fact that sometimes you have to hurt in order to learn the most important lessons of all. And not just a stubbed your toe hurt, but a salt-in-your-wounds type of hurt. I’ve been through some relationships I thought I would never recover from, but years down the line I was able to realize how the pain I experienced helped move me in new directions, and helped me to further define what I truly want in a relationship. Basically, the technique is to see the good in the situation. There is some there, somewhere, even if it is hard to find. Once you find it and either accept or reject what it offers you have mastered the use of the catalyst and your life should move just a bit smoother because the lesson has been learned. Of course, it’s easier to rattle this stuff off than to put it into practice. I suppose “Just hang in there” seems cliché, but sometimes that’s all we can do. <Hugs>

[Wander-Man]

Thanks for the replies...the mace is starting to cool down..and I feel tougher and more able to handle rejection, and less caring what people think...more motivated - so I think this was a good heartbreak. Can't wait till the next one!:idea:

Heard this song on Lost, and I find myself agreeing with Mama http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/Mak...c/15517757

[Questioner]

I feel tougher and more able to handle rejection, and less caring what people think...more motivated

Would you be willing to talk about that some more? I'm curious if you can put these lessons into words, or are they more feelings at this time?

[Wander-Man]

I feel tougher and more able to handle rejection, and less caring what people think...more motivated

Would you be willing to talk about that some more? I'm curious if you can put these lessons into words, or are they more feelings at this time?

Well I'm not going to pretend that I know all about my life's lessons and spiritual progression and all that jibba jabba- I just know that I have a problem with rejection, and this experience has helped me with it