Honesty vs Acceptance, seeking advice.

[Nowheretoday]

I get to live experiences with this person who is a manipulative liar and I accept this person in my life. These lies build up until the point of me passively confronting this person, this person's reaction is denial and aggressiveness. I'm so honest and transparent that it is really hard for me to keep these things inside so when I tell it creates conflict and of course this person blames it on me. So my problem is accepting this person's distortions and keeping them to myself to avoid conflic? Is that truly acceptance? Would that balance my honestly?

[earth_spirit]

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[Nowheretoday]

I tried to distance, I can't. My own distortion tells me to stay. I've never had to deal with this kind of behavior before, this is new to me. Thanks.

[upensmoke]

as long as your not lying to the person or to yourself, then yes, i believe keeping things to yourself is a form of acceptance and can help balance ur honesty as long as your not suppressing the urge to talk. I always tell those close to me not to lie to me. I would always prefer "I don't want to talk about it", or "I don't want to say it", or silence over them telling me a lie. hope this helps

this could be a great lesson in patience

[Nicholas]

I get to live experiences with this person who is a manipulative liar and I accept this person in my life. These lies build up until the point of me passively confronting this person, this person's reaction is denial and aggressiveness. I'm so honest and transparent that it is really hard for me to keep these things inside so when I tell it creates conflict and of course this person blames it on me. So my problem is accepting this person's distortions and keeping them to myself to avoid conflic? Is that truly acceptance? Would that balance my honestly?

This might be helpful.

67.26 Questioner: Then there is no other service that we can at this time offer that fifth-density entity of the Orion group who is so constantly with us. As I see it now there is nothing that we can do for him from your point of view? Is this correct?

Ra: I am Ra. This is correct. There is great humor in your attempt to be of polarized service to the opposite polarity. There is a natural difficulty in doing so since what you consider service is considered by this entity non-service. As you send this entity love and light and wish it well it loses its polarity and needs to regroup.

I think this may be why you are finding it difficult because you are unable to offer them the service you wish to give. If this is the case then having this person in your life is not offering you the opportunity to learn, grow and to be of service yourself.

[Nowheretoday]

Sounds like a little too much to compare a fifth density negative with a non polarized third density but I think I know what you mean.

[Enyiah]

Does this person not realize when they lie? Do you think they believe their lies or are they so disconnected from their inner Being they are unconscious about it?

Sometimes when we "say nothing' it still works against us down the road, similarly as to when you do say something... Maybe the person needs to rise in their level of consciousness(?) Or could it be a form of ignorance...

All these things to look at. Whatever you do/or not, be mindful that their behaviour does not change who you are. If there is a conscious form of manipulation, be very aware of the consequences. If you cannot 'see' that far ahead...put up a guard or some detachment so you do not get caught up into something compromising.  Tread carefully and listen to your inner guidance. 

[Jade]

True acceptance is acting on your feelings in the moment and then balancing them later, not balancing them to suppress them. I think suppressing your emotional outbursts for the sake of others is polarizing, but I don't think that it's "true acceptance".

People need mirrors. If we can reach to where we mirror true love, that's great, but if the person is creating vibrational discordance where someone who is usually loving and patient snaps at them, it might be a signal to help them reconfigure a bit. But this is just one possible outcome.

I think you should continue to express yourself honestly to this person, and if they shut you down and invalidate you, it's your choice whether you continue to pursue this relationship with them. You can accept someone at a distance. I have family members who would abuse me at any chance they got if I was in contact with them, so I remove that opportunity and send them love and light from a safer place. Is this true acceptance? Probably not, but it does reflect a respect I have developed for myself to not be emotionally abused and manipulated by consistently repeat offenders.

[Nicholas]

Sounds like a little too much to compare a fifth density negative with a non polarized third density but I think I know what you mean.

I was not comparing them in any way, which is why I highlighted the relevant part. Your friend became aggressive when you attempted to create harmony between you, by being open hearted. So your offerings were rejected and there could be a number of reasons for this. They simply may not be ready to see that part of themselves. I am glad that you grasped where I was coming from though.

[Nowheretoday]

Does this person not realize when they lie? Do you think they believe their lies or are they so disconnected from their inner Being they are unconscious about it?

Sometimes when we "say nothing' it still works against us down the road, similarly as to when you do say something... Maybe the person needs to rise in their level of consciousness(?) Or could it be a form of ignorance...

All these things to look at. Whatever you do/or not, be mindful that their behaviour does not change who you are. If there is a conscious form of manipulation, be very aware of the consequences. If you cannot 'see' that far ahead...put up a guard or some detachment so you do not get caught up into something compromising.  Tread carefully and listen to your inner guidance. 

I believe the lies and manipulation are being used as a form of survival, a form of service to self but not with the intentions of a negative polarized entity.
I think I've said enough for the person to realize that I can see through the lies but I don't think it'll change anything. I did get an apology though, not for the lies but for the behavior when being confronted by it.
Like you said, I think that even if I don't say anything it will come back and bite me down the road.
Lately I've found myself more detached from the situation cause I'm tired of it. 

[Jade]

I think a lot of the issue arises from the fact that there are people out there who will take advantage of those who trust them. As long as we don't allow the "repeat offenders" to cause us to close our hearts to trusting others, we are doing great. But, if you have a person in your life who is one of these "repeat offenders", I don't think it's wrong to limit your interaction. It's always good and of the open heart to give people another chance in trust, but it is developed wisdom when you realize that you are repeatedly being used specifically because a person knows to take advantage of your open heart.

[Bring4th_Austin]

This discussion made me think of this particular passage from the Law of One:

101.8
The entity which is given constant and unremitting approval by those surrounding it suffers from the loss of the mirroring effect of those which reflect truthfully rather than unquestioningly. This is not a suggestion to reinstate judgment but merely a suggestion for all those supporting instruments; that is, support, be harmonious, share in love, joy, and thanksgiving, but find love within truth, for each instrument benefits from this support more than from the total admiration which overcomes discrimination.


Accepting this person does not necessarily mean you must avoid conflict. As Jade was pointing out, by suppressing your urge to be honest in order to remain harmonious, you are removing the mirroring effect Ra is talking about here. The words "find love within truth" have always stuck with me since I first read that passage.

I can't blame anyone for avoiding conflict by suppressing some honest feedback, as I have a tendency to do the same. There's nothing wrong with it, and in some cases, it may just be for the best (for instance, if you just don't have the energy or will to manage the resulting disharmony). But the attempt to share honest feedback is a valiant one for anyone in a situation such as yourself. And sharing honest feedback is an art, it takes practice and trial and error. Perhaps there is no way to approach this person without them getting aggressive, but there are many, many ways to express yourself to any given person in any given situation. Each entity is unique with a unique set of distortions, and so our words can be received in an infinite number of ways depending on who we are expressing them to.

Attempting to figure out how to clearly and honestly express ourselves while maximizing the chance of our communication being accepted with minimal distortion and maximum understanding is the heart of true communication, I think. If sharing in a certain setting and in a certain way caused disharmony, perhaps figure out a different setting and style that may work better. You have a right to be transparent and honest, and so long as you are communicating consciously with an attempt to minimize distortions and have the other party truly understand, it is worthy work and will hopefully be ultimately useful for them as well.

[Nowheretoday]

I think a lot of the issue arises from the fact that there are people out there who will take advantage of those who trust them. As long as we don't allow the "repeat offenders" to cause us to close our hearts to trusting others, we are doing great. But, if you have a person in your life who is one of these "repeat offenders", I don't think it's wrong to limit your interaction. It's always good and of the open heart to give people another chance in trust, but it is developed wisdom when you realize that you are repeatedly being used specifically because a person knows to take advantage of your open heart.

I'm starting to think this is a love/light balancing lesson. Accepting being used is not very wise.
Like a said, with every experience of the kind, the more I feel like this is not needed, it is very slow process. 

[Jade]

It is. If you think of the martyr energy (love without wisdom), it is of one giving of themselves unrelentingly, to the point of detriment to the self. Ra uses Carla as an example of the martyr energy quite a bit - she was too willing to give of herself in service to the Ra contact, even when it came to 'serving' the 5D entity that was affecting them.

This is what Ra says they went through in their balancing as a social memory complex:

42.6 Questioner: In the last session you made the statement that “We, that is Ra, spent much time/space in the fifth density balancing the intense compassion gained in fourth density.” Could you expand on this concept with respect to what we were just discussing?

Ra: I am Ra. The fourth density, as we have said, abounds in compassion. This compassion is folly when seen through the eyes of wisdom. It is the salvation of third density but creates a mismatch in the ultimate balance of the entity.

Thus we, as a social memory complex of fourth density, had the tendency towards compassion even to martyrdom in aid of other-selves. When the fifth-density harvest was achieved we found that in this vibratory level flaws could be seen in the efficacy of such unrelieved compassion. We spent much time/space in contemplation of those ways of the Creator which imbue love with wisdom.

So, I think if one is resonating with the martyr vibration, the solution would be to work on developing the blue-ray, which is where the "Honesty AND Acceptance" part comes in. You can accept something, but you also need to be honest with yourself and others to your preference of things you accept, or else you will just be the receptacle for accepting all the negative energy that needs to be flushed. This what is called developing the will.

[AnthroHeart]

Fifth density is not a bad place to spend a lot of time.