[split] Wisdom Run Amok

[Relax]

I think being cruelly honest with someone is a misuse of blue ray. We can be too honest.

No, it isnt. That's the nature of blue. Its sharp. So much that in the material it is mentioned that there comes a point in which the entity is expected to radiate itself regardless of reactions from others.

Blue has to be blue when it is time to manifest blue. It needs to be honest at all times. And never lie out of compassion or 'politeness'.

Only with 6th, when green is re-introduced to the blue, the sharpness of the blue is softened, without changing its nature. Love doesnt bring lies or dishonesty or make them acceptable. The positive entity remains honest.

Except through 6th, the entity learns how to introduce or practice the truth smoothly, without invading or imposing.

Especially in angloamerican societies, there is a cultural trait that presents a measure of dishonesty, or 'white lies' or even 'slight modifications' to truth as 'politeness', 'being compassionate', or even 'being caring'. Its even apparent in the manner of speaking in which these matters are discussed - check out what you are saying "We can be too honest". Which means that one should not be 'too honest', which implies that there is a limit to honesty after which lies can be told. Whereas in reality honesty is honesty - its either there, or it isnt.

That's a bad practice. A lie is a lie. It doesnt matter whether the lie is a 'white lie' told to a 5 year old, or a very roundabout, almost contradicting 're-wording' of truth to an ignorant person who insists that the earth is flat. A lie is a lie regardless of the intention. And it will have its metaphysical effects.

One may choose not to tell the truth and therefore choose not to say anything, defer telling the truth to a future point in time, state that doesnt want to talk about it, even allow existing misconceptions on the other person's part to continue without speaking the truth to that person, speak the truth in an understandable and easy to digest, but not over-imposing way, or may choose any of the many potential courses of action.

But truth must be told to the degree it is known, if it is going to be told. The most disturbing, irritating, half-arsed truth is better than the most comforting lie in the long run.

My mom's dog wandered off about a year ago. It disappeared and is presumed dead. He was old.
A police officer noticed him and posted about him on a site.
My mom was pissed off that the officer didn't tie her dog up and call her.
She threatened that she would shoot the officer in the head if she had a gun.

When I was leaving for an appointment, I noticed her dog down the street the day he wandered off, but didn't think much about it.

If I told her I saw him, she would throw a fit. It wouldn't help bring the dog back, and would produce stress on her.
I think this is blue ray mixed with green ray.

I am not telling her because she threatened to shoot an officer because he didn't tie her dog up.
What would she do with me, living with me? She insults me a lot already.

What would be the benefit of telling her I saw her dog?

There would be NO benefit - and extreme risk
I've already read many posts how abusive your mother can be to you; so you're simply being completely sensible, honourable (to yourself - to protect yourself) (to her - to protect her from the outcome of any violence to you)

I very much dislike how your mother has treated you for many years of posts of yours that I've read.

Not telling her is an action of self love/self protection/self worth and silent 'rebellion'...

It's a healthy response and I really like it.
She's so toxic she would be furious (without validity) - get upset and feel a (useless) pain. Then take it all out on you.

Your protection of yourself is understandable and logical.
Aaaaand - SHE has set up the very conditions (her behaviour) that mean you feel too apprehensive to tell her - so that's ON HER.

She uses and abuses you.

Plus - what the hell is with wanting to shoot someone? WTF !?

did the dog have a collar with ph number?

even if yes - maybe the officer couldn't risk a bite or was in the middle of a call - and lost sight of him as he moved on past... maybe s/he called a catcher (with equipment) but was not found... s/he wrote a notice up....

ffs.

has your mother got a diagnosis?

[AnthroHeart]

No she took his collar off before he wandered off.

No diagnosis or she refuses to see a psych doctor. She thinks she is a spiritual master. Because a psychic lady told her she was one.

She makes videos where she calls everyone in Hollywood a tyranny. And says she wishes she could shoot pretty much every actor because she thinks they are transsexual and are doing satanic rituals. She is big into exorcising demons and learning about satanic rituals. She also loves reptilians and wants to help build God's empire. She thinks an empire is a good thing.

She thinks God is Enki the Annunaki. And that in 3 years we will have war and all starve unless we prepare.

[Relax]

rather speechless at this information IGW.... I knew you were living with a domineering, overbearing parent, but I now wonder to what extent your own mental health situation has been worsened by hers... she sounds frightening, exhausting and spiritually toxic to be around.

https://twitter.com/ErynnBrook/status/10...5254031360

[cn/tw: emotional abuse]

So, let’s talk about “Stockholm syndrome”, emotional and psychological abuse, and what really goes on in abusive relationships that cause this bond.
First, the term “Stockholm syndrome” was coined after a 6-day hostage situation in Sweden. But something similar happens in abusive relationships. It’s often called “trauma bonding” or “terror bonding”.

What happens first is you witness the abuser in a position of power in a traumatic event, but you are spared their wrath somehow. If we’re sticking with hostage situations - you don’t die. Someone else does. Then you’re very quickly put in a powerless position. You’re still in shock, you’re not processing things properly, and within a few hours you become dependent on your captor for food, water, permission to use the bathroom. You start to feel gratitude. After all, you didn’t die. And all these little things, like letting you speak, letting you move, start to make you feel grateful towards your captor.

So let’s translate this to an abusive relationship scenario.

This is more complicated than the hostage situation scenario because it happens slower and over a longer period of time.

One of the most important things for this to happen is isolation.

In a hostage situation you’re immediately isolated so it happens faster. In a relationship, it takes more time. Your abuser will slowly turn you away from your friends and family and make you wary of others. Your abuser becomes your main point of contact, your most intimate relationship, your strongest connection, because they’re slowly convincing you to sever all the other connections you have. But part of this feeling is because you’re so isolated. You have little contact with others, you’ve become distrustful of others, and your abuser is the only connection that feels genuine and real.
Trauma bonding is then ignited in small ways. Your abuser raises their voice. They punch a wall. They throw something. They cuss out someone else in your presence. They make threats against others. You’re grateful it’s not directed at you.

Whatever the behavior or action is, the point is that it shocks you, and then before you have time to process it, your abuser is going to manipulate your emotions in order to make you feel grateful that it *wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been* You then rationalize it, “as long as I don’t do x, I’m okay, it won’t escalate, it’s not abuse.” What you don’t know is x is a moving target.

And your feelings for this person are so intense, so twisted, that x seems like a reasonable thing to avoid. If you really love them you’ll work for it, right? You’ll do the things they ask because you don’t want to cause them the pain of getting angry.
You don’t trust your friends or family, you don’t have anyone to talk to, you’re not sharing details of your relationship with anyone, you don’t have anyone who can say “umm, this is f***** up.” And the people around the abuser, the others you meet through them, they’ve all been conditioned the same way.
They’re all playing by their own set of rules. It’s a complicated game of “not it.”

You might think you’re not friends with an abuser.

But do you have a friend who’s just a little bit dangerous? Just a little bit “don’t get on their bad side”? Just a little bit “oh they just like things a certain way.”

Do you have a friend who has rules about you speaking to their partner? A friend you’ve seen lose it and thought “wow at least it wasn’t me.” A friend who you’re not totally yourself around because there are expectations on your behavior?

You might think you don’t know an emotional abuser. That they’re rare. But almost everyone I know has been in an emotionally abusive relationship, so that math doesn’t work. The abuser may have just trained you not to question them.

If you’re reading this part and you’re thinking “oh s*** this is me now”, let me just say... the love you’re feeling is like eating only hot peppers. It’s not nourishing but you feel the fire.

Healthy love is a buffet. There’s more out there.

Oh I forgot to mention. Often abusers know exactly what your breaking point would be and they purposefully tell you they would never do that thing. My ex never hit me, and he said many times that he would never hit me. Like a tagline.

My wonderful husband, on the other hand, has never said “I would never hit you” because that’s NOT A NORMAL THING TO SAY.

Abusers say s*** like this because it makes you grateful. This sentence does not appear consistently in healthy relationships.

..........

Person: Is it possible for this to exist in a parent child relationship? This sounds very similar to the tactics that my parents used.

Erynn: Yes. And it’s especially insidious because as a child you are very very dependent on your parents for everything. It’s especially common for children of narcissistic parents.
‏
Person: Holy crap that explains so much.

[AnthroHeart]

I put up with it because she isn't like that most of the time.
She's moving out within a few months if all goes well.
I will be driving her and her pets a few states over.
She will come back every couple of months to see her doctor.

I'm trying not to gossip so much, so I won't say more about her.
I just wanted to get it off my chest.

I feel angst, but I also feel relief that I found Ra. I don't know how working with them will work out.
But I will have to face my own dark parts. I have gotten quite angry as a person at times.

[Relax]

I hope she moves and you can have peace and autonomy... venting is good - but of course not a long term solution.

I don't know what you mean about 'working with' Ra... that's something requiring a group - for safety...

:exclamation:

[AnthroHeart]

I'm not doing any trance work with them.
Just feeling their energy, and it helps to relieve my anxiety and fear.
I talk about it in my other thread on Belonging With Ra.
I visualize myself as belonging with them.

[Relax]

aaah... then that's great

[flofrog]

much much love Wolf...

[Plenum]

After so many years, Gemini has a new nickname  

  Wolf

[AnthroHeart]

I love wolves.
I love werewolves that are kind and nice.