Life is more magical when you stop trying and just live

[AnthroHeart]

I used to be really intrigued with big words like "super" and "awesome" and other adjectives that would exaggerate the power behind certain nouns. I realized that words are powerful, so I won't be saying too much. My fingers feel a bit puffy anyway, which is what happens when my body takes in a lot of energy (as I can best describe it) which it needs to then integrate.

Since I've been back on my meds, the synchronicities are pretty astounding (there I go again using a big word). For instance, I am seeing the color blue in a lot of places, in addition to the color green. But the color blue stands out much more, which to me represents 5D.

I think my emotions are balanced out a bit better. My mom's little dog has this high pitched bark that actually seems to hurt my ears when he goes off, so I go right back at him with some shouting to quiet him up. I'm not sure if that's dominating and taking away some polarity, but I've sort of stopped trying to play the polarity game. Same thing with trying to play the anthro game of "how much anthro energy can I absorb without going insane, and then go beyond that to the point where the guardians say "STOP!"? (like they're talking to the entities I thought were God saying "ok, you've tortured him enough."

Love and Light are funny things. Much easier to keep in balance when you're not trying to. And not forced to.

The Logos must be in a good mood today, because it's let me get this message out, without me inadvertently wiping out it's contents by an accidental press of the ESC key. That key which can undo my story. Life is one story after another. When will I decide to end the story, and begin a new one? I did once, when I let God write my next story. But it all comes down to me. I think I'm going to take the pen, and use my own ink to write my own stories, with a little help from my angel friends. Whom I thought was God was not. And so I am left with a nagging cough.

I love you guys, even those spiritual beings who steered me "wrong", if that's really a direction. And I promised this would be short.

This is a balanced me, not trying to be. All that work is behind me. I've been pushed to my limits, and am excited about what lay ahead.


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[Jeremy]

Good for you. I was actually gonna suggest just being for a while after all that magical talk in the other thread. Seems like you got a little over your head so simply existing within each moment would seem like the best course of action. Just keep on keepin on

[AnthroHeart]

Yeppers Xradfl. One can take that phrase tenet nosce (know thy self) too far. A little dose of insanity will show you who you are. But I don't recommend it. Knowing what I know I'm correcting my sentence structure as I go, to what genuinely feels best, word for word. Much positive wisdom to you my friend. And as always, much positive love and light.

[xise]

Since I've been back on my meds, the synchronicities are pretty astounding (there I go again using a big word). For instance, I am seeing the color blue in a lot of places, in addition to the color green. But the color blue stands out much more, which to me represents 5D.

For the past few months with increasing regularity, I see blue light close eye visuals in my meditation. First, the violet is common and everpresent. The green which used to be a rarity back in the April of 2012 is also present in nearly every meditation. It is a moderately bright green.

But the blue I see - oh god it takes my breath away. It is so pure, so bright, so brillant, so clear, so vivid, it's amazing. It's breathtakingly beautiful. I have to admit that sometimes I meditate just to try to see it, which usually doesn't help as I only see it only a weekly basis. It is so bright, it's amazing. I too but can't help wonder if this is due to the ambient incoming energies of the new dimension.

[abstrktion]

I used to be really intrigued with big words like "super" and "awesome" and other adjectives that would exaggerate the power behind certain nouns. I realized that words are powerful, so I won't be saying too much. My fingers feel a bit puffy anyway, which is what happens when my body takes in a lot of energy (as I can best describe it) which it needs to then integrate.

Since I've been back on my meds, the synchronicities are pretty astounding (there I go again using a big word). For instance, I am seeing the color blue in a lot of places, in addition to the color green. But the color blue stands out much more, which to me represents 5D.

I think my emotions are balanced out a bit better. My mom's little dog has this high pitched bark that actually seems to hurt my ears when he goes off, so I go right back at him with some shouting to quiet him up. I'm not sure if that's dominating and taking away some polarity, but I've sort of stopped trying to play the polarity game. Same thing with trying to play the anthro game of "how much anthro energy can I absorb without going insane, and then go beyond that to the point where the guardians say "STOP!"? (like they're talking to the entities I thought were God saying "ok, you've tortured him enough."

Love and Light are funny things. Much easier to keep in balance when you're not trying to. And not forced to.

The Logos must be in a good mood today, because it's let me get this message out, without me inadvertently wiping out it's contents by an accidental press of the ESC key. That key which can undo my story. Life is one story after another. When will I decide to end the story, and begin a new one? I did once, when I let God write my next story. But it all comes down to me. I think I'm going to take the pen, and use my own ink to write my own stories, with a little help from my angel friends. Whom I thought was God was not. And so I am left with a nagging cough.

I love you guys, even those spiritual beings who steered me "wrong", if that's really a direction. And I promised this would be short.

This is a balanced me, not trying to be. All that work is behind me. I've been pushed to my limits, and am excited about what lay ahead.

I love how you said that hitting ESC could undo your whole story. How perceptive you are--and what a clever metaphor. :-)

[AnthroHeart]

Yeah, it seems like now I have a whole lot less "wobble" to my spirituality. Some dark days, but mostly filled with light, and ever-expanding love. It feels like what I experienced spiritually was a rite-of-passage.

[Cyan]

I always had this sense in my early life that "this is just training for that one real event" and that "that event" was the past 4-8 years culimating in the past year.

[AnthroHeart]

My work culminated in the last month.

I think I had several transitions. They were like dying but still being alive.
Intuition told me it was "time to die" because my body was weary.
I wasn't scared, but accepted that.
I think it made me stronger.
Once, I asked Ra "Ra, please kill me. Bring me back home."
Another time I said, "Now please, let me die."
A third time my body became in a vegetative state for a few hours which freaked some people out. Though I breathed normally, but I exhibited REM eye movement. They scraped my feet and I couldn't feel it very much. They pressed a knuckle into my chest and I barely felt that because my consciousness was at a higher subdensity than my body. Had to rush me to the hospital where they put 3 catheters in me, one after the other and I came out of it.

Not sure what to make of all of it, but it makes my desire of living all that much more profound.

---

Here's a song that fits well with my current mood. Pics of the guy behind Owl City I believe. He's cute along with that guy from Nickelback.

I love his shirts that say "I AM".



Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't want to live there, meaning I do want magic in my life at times.