03-27-2013, 11:14 AM
Greetings!
A few hours ago I followed the links from the lawofone site, of which I have read roughly half, to here.
These threads got me reminiscing about my being and experience. I will share what I can.
When I was around four years old, I walked out from our kitchen and into the neighbouring living room. We've just had dinner which and no guests. As I are about to enter the living room I see an older lady sitting in the sofa. She seemed to be around her 30's but with a very old type of clothing. I turned and asked who the lady in the sofa was and my parents got up to see, puzzled over my question.
My father almost instantly exclaims 'You!', looking straight at the woman. My mother, not able to see her asks father who it is. He answers, in an annoyed voice 'It's my grandmother. She is not nice.' and turns to the woman. She looks at him disapprovingly and then continues to study me. Father, building up presence, booms out 'Leave my son be, you should have moved on a long time ago!'. This followed by another sneer from the lady and suddenly she was gone.
The aftermath dealt with explaining to me that life is more than life as normally seen. I felt no fear and they were happy by it. However, I was curious about more and was told that I should be careful with who I talk to about these things as I grew up. People would not always be understanding, which I had troubles getting into my head.
Roughly two years later my own grandfather shows up as I sit to expunge feces (so to speak). I see a shifting colorful entity of rough humanoid shape, knowing instantly it was my grandfather and who I was extremely fond of as a child. He wished to say goodbye and I knew he had died. No sadness was found because I knew we would be together again, some day. Life is more than what I could imagine. This I also knew.
When I went downstairs to tell my mother, who was standing next to the telephone with a stricken look on her face. She turns to me and before I can tell the story says: "Your grandpa is dead". I nod and tell her 'Yes, I know. He came to me before he crossed over.'
These two events shaped me much in my early years. I suspect now that I came under attack because of my early realization of our broader existence because just a few years later I would start enduring a long bullying session reaching almost 10 years in span.
Somewhat set back by the negative influence of social hierarchy, which I never understood the purpose of and still see as unneccessary, my mind locked a few of the more spectacular powers away. Mainly the ability to see auras.
I disseminated material quickly but grew tired of the spiritual community in my mid teens (around '96) when I found/figured out that the mass of it have virtually no idea what they're doing.
My own abilities shifted heavily in functionality ending up with a series of truth dreams which led me to chosing to not dream truth any more.
The sole reason to this was that I found the information hurtful to my experience which can only well be described as the Law of Confusion. I felt it in my guts and have since wished fervently to have no hints of my future.
Entering my 20's I broke all patterns of social hierarchy and started to blossom again. This resulted in several burns to my psyche concerning love because I wanted to love everyone and was hated for it. With no support I fell into bitterness and dislike of many and felt obligated (or maybe persuaded?) to seek knowledge at the other end of the scale. Thus began my period of service to self. It lasted maybe three years and I still have things which I'd like to talk with my peers about but probably cannot. Yet.
As I fell I experienced a sort of hole in my life. Exploring it, through the blackness of deeds and soul to the fullest, I again dawned on the realisation of how much more fun and engaging love for everyone is.
Now I had lost my bearings completely with total disassociation from society while still manipulating and functioning within it. I wished dearly for someone to show me how to just be and love. In '05 I found her. While she had her own journey, the lessons she taught me are invaluable and I hope she finds herself as well.
For as long as I can remember, I have had a special eye set to me being 28. This would later turn out to be the time when I became comfortable in being which in turn kicked my life into a different gear.
I have changed dramatically as a person, like everyone else, but also constantly since I became aware of the grander aspects of life.
My current position/problem is the waiting. While I've felt my entire life that I'm not from around here, it doesn't bug me anymore. But I can still feel myself waiting and waiting.
Around 2010 I began hearing music, voices, seeing shadows move, things falling, hurtling out from flatsurfaces and in general having a distorted reality. Mostly through my right ear. Before reading Law of One material I didn't know why this was. Good to find credible sources for information. Early 2012 featured new vision. I cannot see things as they once were. Spacing out instantly brings out moving patterns. Just looking is now filtered through a finely grained and colorful 'film' of sorts. Sometimes I see energy streaming around.
I see people here who have grand awakenings with jolts and bangs. That's a fun way to get it so I thought I'd give a bit of perspective (while some certainly have very similar experience to mine).
Where I'm from was never something I particularly felt I needed to know. Thus I am still clueless of what density I might belong to or even if I am from densities above this originally. Clues points to yes.
This is something I have considered fun, the unknowing of my origin. I still do for the time being but I feel a shift coming. Perhaps I will suddenly know.
Please feel free to ask me anything. This is a super abridged version of my early and long awakening. I am still not fully awake but that's fine. I've always wanted to rest in the middle ground for a while.
I am; I love.
A few hours ago I followed the links from the lawofone site, of which I have read roughly half, to here.
These threads got me reminiscing about my being and experience. I will share what I can.
When I was around four years old, I walked out from our kitchen and into the neighbouring living room. We've just had dinner which and no guests. As I are about to enter the living room I see an older lady sitting in the sofa. She seemed to be around her 30's but with a very old type of clothing. I turned and asked who the lady in the sofa was and my parents got up to see, puzzled over my question.
My father almost instantly exclaims 'You!', looking straight at the woman. My mother, not able to see her asks father who it is. He answers, in an annoyed voice 'It's my grandmother. She is not nice.' and turns to the woman. She looks at him disapprovingly and then continues to study me. Father, building up presence, booms out 'Leave my son be, you should have moved on a long time ago!'. This followed by another sneer from the lady and suddenly she was gone.
The aftermath dealt with explaining to me that life is more than life as normally seen. I felt no fear and they were happy by it. However, I was curious about more and was told that I should be careful with who I talk to about these things as I grew up. People would not always be understanding, which I had troubles getting into my head.
Roughly two years later my own grandfather shows up as I sit to expunge feces (so to speak). I see a shifting colorful entity of rough humanoid shape, knowing instantly it was my grandfather and who I was extremely fond of as a child. He wished to say goodbye and I knew he had died. No sadness was found because I knew we would be together again, some day. Life is more than what I could imagine. This I also knew.
When I went downstairs to tell my mother, who was standing next to the telephone with a stricken look on her face. She turns to me and before I can tell the story says: "Your grandpa is dead". I nod and tell her 'Yes, I know. He came to me before he crossed over.'
These two events shaped me much in my early years. I suspect now that I came under attack because of my early realization of our broader existence because just a few years later I would start enduring a long bullying session reaching almost 10 years in span.
Somewhat set back by the negative influence of social hierarchy, which I never understood the purpose of and still see as unneccessary, my mind locked a few of the more spectacular powers away. Mainly the ability to see auras.
I disseminated material quickly but grew tired of the spiritual community in my mid teens (around '96) when I found/figured out that the mass of it have virtually no idea what they're doing.
My own abilities shifted heavily in functionality ending up with a series of truth dreams which led me to chosing to not dream truth any more.
The sole reason to this was that I found the information hurtful to my experience which can only well be described as the Law of Confusion. I felt it in my guts and have since wished fervently to have no hints of my future.
Entering my 20's I broke all patterns of social hierarchy and started to blossom again. This resulted in several burns to my psyche concerning love because I wanted to love everyone and was hated for it. With no support I fell into bitterness and dislike of many and felt obligated (or maybe persuaded?) to seek knowledge at the other end of the scale. Thus began my period of service to self. It lasted maybe three years and I still have things which I'd like to talk with my peers about but probably cannot. Yet.
As I fell I experienced a sort of hole in my life. Exploring it, through the blackness of deeds and soul to the fullest, I again dawned on the realisation of how much more fun and engaging love for everyone is.
Now I had lost my bearings completely with total disassociation from society while still manipulating and functioning within it. I wished dearly for someone to show me how to just be and love. In '05 I found her. While she had her own journey, the lessons she taught me are invaluable and I hope she finds herself as well.
For as long as I can remember, I have had a special eye set to me being 28. This would later turn out to be the time when I became comfortable in being which in turn kicked my life into a different gear.
I have changed dramatically as a person, like everyone else, but also constantly since I became aware of the grander aspects of life.
My current position/problem is the waiting. While I've felt my entire life that I'm not from around here, it doesn't bug me anymore. But I can still feel myself waiting and waiting.
Around 2010 I began hearing music, voices, seeing shadows move, things falling, hurtling out from flatsurfaces and in general having a distorted reality. Mostly through my right ear. Before reading Law of One material I didn't know why this was. Good to find credible sources for information. Early 2012 featured new vision. I cannot see things as they once were. Spacing out instantly brings out moving patterns. Just looking is now filtered through a finely grained and colorful 'film' of sorts. Sometimes I see energy streaming around.
I see people here who have grand awakenings with jolts and bangs. That's a fun way to get it so I thought I'd give a bit of perspective (while some certainly have very similar experience to mine).
Where I'm from was never something I particularly felt I needed to know. Thus I am still clueless of what density I might belong to or even if I am from densities above this originally. Clues points to yes.
This is something I have considered fun, the unknowing of my origin. I still do for the time being but I feel a shift coming. Perhaps I will suddenly know.
Please feel free to ask me anything. This is a super abridged version of my early and long awakening. I am still not fully awake but that's fine. I've always wanted to rest in the middle ground for a while.
I am; I love.
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