Transitioning

[Surfboard]

Well what I thought could only get easier has only got harder.

After a series of fortunate events I have found out that I’m a female stuck in a males body. My want for control seems to fight my need for balance.

It began as a toddler, where I tried to kill myself twice because I was unable to express how I felt.

Luckily from that young age I repressed my feminine feelings, and also my thoughts connected to them.

I don’t know if I would be here today if I didn’t.

I now know that my crohns is located primarily where my left ovary would be and is signaling me to make a switch.

I’m not sure where to go from here but if anyone else has gone through this, I might need to ask some questions in the future.

[sillypumpkins]

in michael newton's book journey of souls, it talks about how some have lived many past lives as male/female, and thus when they reincarnate as the sex they aren't accustomed with, it can cause some confusion and dissonance

a male can still have feminine traits, a female can still have masculine traits..... remember, you chose this incarnation for a reason

personally, being a male, i have never felt purely feminine or masculine. sometimes i exhibit masculine traits, sometimes feminine. i like the flexibility but that is just me...

be well, and we are all here if you have any more questions in the future

smiles

[AnthroHeart]

I have a strong desire to be trans-species, so maybe that's along the same lines.
I don't know.

[flofrog]

Be well too Surfboard. I have a friend who made the transition and found that it was in fact not as helpful as she thought it would be. She moved to another place and have had no news from her for a while despite a few emails.

I feel you might find some help groups on this. Like what Silly says, whatever you choose, remember this is your own incarnation, your choice, well thought and meditated on, will be good, whatever difficulty you will encounter. Many wishes Surfboard, and as silly says we are all here.

[Aion]

It's not my journey so I can't offer much personal experience, but I can say that I have numerous other friends who have transitioned or are non-binary in gender.

So to that point, let me say there's nothing 'wrong' with you (of course excepting your own feelings of discomfort) and I encourage and support you, as anonymous as I may be, in getting in touch and reaching towards your true self.

You are accepted, loved and appreciated by many here.

I can say that I do identify for myself as non-binary and have experienced times where I felt crossed in genders. I do know what it is like to feel like your body isn't 'right'.
It may be helpful to know you are not alone. Be well.

[888]

Our spirits are both female and male. We alternate between choosing either one as a primary means of expression between reincarnations, but as sillypumpkins said, we have both energies available to us even when physically incarnate.

Ra spoke on this as well. I would recommend balancing the sexual energy of both the male and female polarities in meditation, as well as contemplating why you may have chosen to incarnate as a biological male for this incarnation, rather than the gender polarity you feel accustomed to.

It is necessary to know your body well. This is a matter of using the mind to examine how the feelings, the biases, what you would call the emotions, affect various portions of the body complex. It shall be necessary to both understand the bodily polarities and to accept them, repeating in a chemical/physical manifestation the work you have done upon the mind bethinking the consciousness.

The body is a creature of the mind’s creation. It has its biases. The biological bias must be first completely understood and then the opposite bias allowed to find full expression in understanding. Again, the process of acceptance of the body as a balanced, as well as polarized, individual may then be accomplished.

It is then the task to extend this understanding to the bodies of the other-selves whom you will meet. The simplest example of this is the understanding that each biological male is female; each biological female is male. This is a simple example. However, in almost every case wherein you are attempting the understanding of the body of self or other-self, you will again find that the most subtle discernment is necessary in order to fully grasp the polarity complexes involved. (5.2)

[Diana]

As a thought experiment, let's pretend the world isn't full of judgments, racism, homophobia, separation and so on. Let's pretend that genitalia have nothing to do with how you love, who you love, or why. That we are a race of beings who are evolving toward androgyny, but we still have sexual organs, so anything goes.

From a larger point of view, the body is a necessary tool from which to experience this reality. It's just a body, but it is important since without one, you could not experience physical reality. In that sense, honoring the vehicle that allows this experience is indicated.

Realizing your potential as a being in this reality, in my opinion, has nothing to do with what societal or cultural beliefs promulgate, other than the fact we may be affected by those beliefs (which are transient and based mostly on fear).

Who says you can't express as female with a male body? It's only society that says your body must look female in order for you to be female. The highest self has no gender. Ultimately we are individuals. And we are here to "play" and "dance" so why not forge a unique way to do that which is moving in the direction of unbound expression? 

Screw popular society. I in no way mean to diminish the pain or conflicts in such challenges; I am just trying to open up the possibilities.

[Surfboard]

Yeah so I’m figuring out that it’s not my energy but something I picked up along the way.

I let go of my old dogs energy yesterday and am still transitioning to better understand myself.

I find myself full of attachments and have no clue how to let them go other than eating mashed up food and restoring my colon.

Personally I think I’m dealing with parasites that are controlling part of my identity.

[Glow]

Good God!
Great thread. It’s amazing when so many can responds with such balanced insightful replies.
Love and gratitude to you all.

I need not add anything but just am bowled over by the wisdom displayed here.

Surfboard sorry you are feeling confused.
At least you are not alone in that.

It might be more helpful to think of these issues not as parasites which puts us in victim/fear mode, but as aspects of your subconscious, picked up through life/lives that you have yet to processed.
This is a great time to start that work.

Bowel issues for many people has a beginning in unprocessed/unhealed trauma so that’s”parasite” is likely a wounded portion of self that needs to be healed.

All the best to you.

[Dtris]

Yeah so I’m figuring out that it’s not my energy but something I picked up along the way.

I let go of my old dogs energy yesterday and am still transitioning to better understand myself.

I find myself full of attachments and have no clue how to let them go other than eating mashed up food and restoring my colon.

Personally I think I’m dealing with parasites that are controlling part of my identity.

My personal opinion, your brand of meatsuit has no bearing on who you are. Be yourself whatever that may be. As others have said we choose our sex when incarnating, and there is a reason for it. Before your change your body permanently, please take time to get to know yourself and try to work through your emotions and blockages. There are lots of different modalities that can help but the most important is daily meditation. Know yourself, love yourself, and love the world. All of us are perfect, just the way we are.

[sillypumpkins]

“Brand of meat suit”!! Hahahaha