RA on parenting

[Cassandra11]

42.20 Questioner: Using the teach/learning relationship of parent to child, what type of actions would demonstrate the activation of the energy centers in sequence from red to violet?
Ra: I am Ra. This shall be the last full query of this working.

The entity, child or adult, as you call it, is not an instrument to be played. The appropriate teach/learning device of parent to child is the open-hearted beingness of the parent and the total acceptance of the beingness of the child. This will encompass whatever material the child entity has brought into the life experience in this plane.

There are two things especially important in this relationship other than the basic acceptance of the child by the parent. Firstly, the experience of whatever means the parent uses to worship and give thanksgiving to the One Infinite Creator, should if possible be shared with the child entity upon a daily basis, as you would say. Secondly, the compassion of parent to child may well be tempered by the understanding that the child entity shall learn the biases of service to others or service to self from the parental other-self. This is the reason that some discipline is appropriate in the teach/learning. This does not apply to the activation of any one energy center for each entity is unique and each relationship with self and other-self doubly unique. The guidelines given are only general for this reason.

Is there a brief query before we leave this instrument?
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I wish I could find some more information about the discipline Ra was talking about here.
Many of you would agree that what we have learned about parenting is not appropriate enough.
I can't seem to make "discipline" and "unconditional love" match good enough, If you know what I mean?

Thoughts?

[BrownEye]

Discipline -
training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character.

[Cassandra11]

Exactly!
Whats Perfect? and whats Moral? Who am I to claim I KNOW

[BrownEye]

I had a nice reply typed up and the page crashed. I will simply take that to mean this is your lesson, and all I will do to help is point you to a keyword to help your understanding. Keep in mind that to allow a child to run into the street in front of a car is not an example of "unconditional love".

appropriate
adj [əˈprəʊprɪɪt]
1. right or suitable; fitting

Appropriate example

Appropriate search

---

It is your faith in what is right that matters, if you learn later that you were wrong, you learned from it.

[βαθμιαίος]

When I think about discipline in relation to my children, I think about consistency of effort. It conjures up the idea of a path, a focus. It could be schoolwork, music, sports, dance, etc. I suppose it could also be video games, although some of them may be for helpful for negative polarization than positive.

I also think about Ra's advice to Jim to put his physical power to use in service to others. Keeping a house running smoothly takes effort on the parts of all the inhabitants, and that effort can be disciplined and positively polarizing if done consciously.

[Cassandra11]

That is a good example, Pickle. I have read it before but it does not give clear direction when applied to more complex situations/questions. At some point, the child's soul begins too seek it's path and tries to use free will in order to do that. That's when things get a bit more complex, I think


Thanks βαθμιαίος , makes sens.

[hogey11]

I take it to mean that we must take it upon ourselves at times to provide catalyst for our children even against karmic backlash we might thing we're exposing ourselves to. The word that jumps out at me is 'teach/learn'. Will you teach or will you learn?

To teach a child is to do what you can to help the child identify which path they are consciously choosing through their actions. To learn is to consciously choose your own actions in response to the child. Will you work on yourself or on the child?

This is where we have to look at ourselves as sub-sub-sub-sub-logos (not sure how many subs i needed). We have to provide balance to our subjects, else things become too distorted. Just as we thank the STS path for providing our catalyst, we must embrace our role for the higher reward. This can be an act of compassion if the correct intentions are put into place, imo. As a new father myself, I can only start to wrap my head around the teach/learn experience that comes with having a child. I can only echo your wish that Ra had spent more time on the subject.

Does anyone know if Q'uo has addressed it much?

[bradjohnson79]

Yes, Ra is absolutely correct in relations to parenting.

Much of the distortions relates to parents feeling a belief flaw in seeing them as dominant or completely authoritive over all child choices and actions. Whereas I have come to learn even through my own channeling that the parent simply acts as a facilitator. A facilitator is seen as an equal with caregiver properties assigned to the safeguarding of the child, but in no way is meant as an authoritive figure in all degrees. Discipline would relate to moulding, sculpting and forming a canvas for the child to realize their possibilities and potentials within this reality. The parent themselves would function in the original design of the ego complex which represents its purest state as a grounding device: Reality properties in third density, safeguarding the child, and sustaining in assistance to versioning ideas/inceptions/conceptions produced through the child to enrich knowledge impacted through the child/parent social memory complex.

[IndigoSalvia]

I am reviving an old post because, well, I have a teenager.

As he's coming into his own, I am wondering how to share what little I know of Law of One with him, and doing so in a responsible manner ... in a way in which he can hear, and not infringing upon his own journey. Not learn for him, as Ra and Q'uo may say.

As a teenager, I find his and my roles are separating more and more, in a good way. When he was little, I was directly concerned with his most basic needs; now, he himself is increasingly so. So, our relationship evolves.

Any other parents out there who have parented a teenager with the philosophy of Law of One guiding you? Any teach/learnings you'd like to share?

[hounsic]

The underlying principles of The Law of One, unity, love and your evolving example will probably be more than enough at least for a start. I think real honesty and transparency is a key. All the best

[Dtris]

I am reviving an old post because, well, I have a teenager.

As he's coming into his own, I am wondering how to share what little I know of Law of One with him, and doing so in a responsible manner ... in a way in which he can hear, and not infringing upon his own journey. Not learn for him, as Ra and Q'uo may say.

As a teenager, I find his and my roles are separating more and more, in a good way. When he was little, I was directly concerned with his most basic needs; now, he himself is increasingly so. So, our relationship evolves.

Any other parents out there who have parented a teenager with the philosophy of Law of One guiding you? Any teach/learnings you'd like to share?

Not sure what country you are in, but in USA or Europe you may have some work ahead of you.

I would say first, use the quote by Ra in the OP as your guidelines. Complete acceptance, share daily, temper compassion with understanding (discipline). One of the things which helps children thrive is discipline.

Next, the question you have to ask yourself is two fold. First is what have you raised your child into as far as spiritual beliefs? The second is how different is what the child currently believes compared to what you want to teach?

If you have not actively been involved in teaching your child about spirituality, then they likely have been taught thru the seeming undertones of their environment. Which is the USA is outright ridicule of religion or spirituality in pop culture, and internet culture in particular. If this is the case you may have an uphill battle.

So how much time do you spend together as a family? Or one on one with your child? If there is a spouse or other parent involved, what is their role? Are they on board? Are you the type of parent who has always had open communication or are you the silent type or only talking about what needs done?

My advice that would apply in almost any circumstance would be to live the example, and go about performing whatever acts YOU perform to connect with your spirit or God, and do not hide it but also do not make any mention of it. Make it just a thing you do.

Secondly would be to build a good physical book collection including the LOO and other fascinating books, and keep these where the child can read them if they desire.

Lastly is to not force anything, if the subject comes up then flow with it, if it flows away then let it go. Few things are more annoying than someone who finds God and won't shut up about it.

Just for disclosure sake, I do not have children but have quite a bit of experience teaching children and teenagers. Also you must judge your own relationship and the current dynamics to go about this in the most authentic way which will have each of you open in communication.

[Diana]

I agree with hounsic and Dtris. 

I will add that teenagers are highly alive beings, awash with newly released hormones, capable of accessing great depths of feeling and thinking, and awakening to the world as new adults. They are trying whether they know it or not to find out who they are. So the last thing I would do is steer them toward something I think they should do. They must discover it for themselves. 

Most of your work is done, in that you have brought a teen through the developing years of childhood and already instilled within them your own principles. And yet now I imagine is the most difficult part of parenthood and that is the letting go. Because teenagers need to find their wings, stretch them out, and fly in their own directions.

As serendipity would have it, right after I wrote the above I unintentionally came across the writing of Kahlil Gibran in The Prophet on children (which I hadn't read in many years):

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
    And he said:
    Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
    They come through you but not from you,
    And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

    You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
    For they have their own thoughts.
    You may house their bodies but not their souls,
    For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
    You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
    The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
    Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
    For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

[IndigoSalvia]

I agree with hounsic and Dtris. 

I will add that teenagers are highly alive beings, awash with newly released hormones, capable of accessing great depths of feeling and thinking, and awakening to the world as new adults. They are trying whether they know it or not to find out who they are. So the last thing I would do is steer them toward something I think they should do. They must discover it for themselves. 

Most of your work is done, in that you have brought a teen through the developing years of childhood and already instilled within them your own principles. And yet now I imagine is the most difficult part of parenthood and that is the letting go. Because teenagers need to find their wings, stretch them out, and fly in their own directions.

As serendipity would have it, right after I wrote the above I unintentionally came across the writing of Kahlil Gibran in The Prophet on children (which I hadn't read in many years):

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
    And he said:
    Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
    They come through you but not from you,
    And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

    You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
    For they have their own thoughts.
    You may house their bodies but not their souls,
    For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
    You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
    The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
    Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
    For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Beautiful quote, Diana. Thank you for sharing. 

I am at the threshold of "letting go," and in a state of pure marvel at the being (my son) who stands before me in this moment, and the mysteries that lay before him. How, more and more each moment and each day, he steps forward and I step back.

[Fool]

I wish I could find some more information about the discipline Ra was talking about here.
Many of you would agree that what we have learned about parenting is not appropriate enough.
I can't seem to make "discipline" and "unconditional love" match good enough, If you know what I mean?

Thoughts?

My understanding of what Ra is saying here is that you love and nurture and accept your child totally. Depending on the chosen path you have taken you must take what would seem to be unaccepting, correcting action in order to move the child down the path you have chosen.

Like I love my little one and I try to give her all the love I can and let her be who she is, in so far as she doesn’t take negative action against herself or others. Then I make sure to correct her.

[IndigoSalvia]

I recently read this session and wanted to share with parents.

https://www.llresearch.org/channeling/2006/1116

I also want to share why parenting is so important to me at this moment. My older teenage son had a mental break-down (for lack of a better term) during covid lockdown for a number of reasons. Like a perfect storm. Turns out, we were not alone; many families struggled with similar situations.

My son seemed to absorb the fear, turmoil and isolation in a magnified fashion. Debilitating depression and anxiety overtook him. Week after week, I was hyper-vigilant and in red ray mode for his survival. He is, at this time, better and seems to be undergoing a complete reorganization of self. I have done a lot of soul-searching to figure out how to best support him while nurturing his own self-hood (which all adolescents seek).

When I read Quo talk about indigo children, it offered me a new dimension into parenting children who are sensitive, aware. While raising him, I have repeatedly understood that he languished within the traditional systems (public school, for instance), so we found alternative paths in which he thrived. I don't know whether he's an indigo child, but the Confederation perspective on parenting is helpful regardless.