Bullying, and sharing who you are

[Plenum]

Bullying takes place for many reasons, but often it takes place like this:

1) a group or an individual decides that a paricular characteristic is 'not ok' in their eyes

2) they find someone with that 'characteristic'

3) they then disparage them, theaten them, or physically attack them.

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Bullying is hugely destructive to a child, because they are just 'being who they are', and the characteristic which is targeted by the bullies is usually out of their control - this may be a characteristic like someone is shy, they have a minority racial features, they are handicapped in someway, or they are geeky. It doesn't matter what is targeted, it's just the bullies group of how they define what is 'ok' and what is 'not ok'.

The person who receives the bullying usually learns or acquires some biases from the experience:

* I can't be who I am (authentically) because I will be mentally, emotionally, and physically crushed if I show everyone who I am.

* I have to find a safe situation or people who I absolutely trust, before I can fully be myself (because of the acquired fear of negative feedback)

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in dealing with my own experiences of being on the receiving end of bullying (because of my racial characteristics, something that was totally out of my control, even if I did want to adjust it, which is how some people react to bullying - to change the characteristic which was targeted), I've had to address these issues of not being my authentic or true self because it was somehow 'undesirable' to other selves. That was my gross generalisation of the experiences I had, and the conclusion that I formed, although it might have been pertinent to the situations I experienced, didn't apply to ALL situations that I would encounter. So my default attitude was to keep the self closed, until I felt absolutely 'safe' and that it was ok to be 'me'.

I formed those attitudes when very young, and even though the mind gains more experience, those attitudes are like permanent mental biases until you make a deliberate effort to identify them, and to examine them.

In many ways, our mind is like a collection of various attitudes that we have acquired (some from former existences too!), and although we might look at someone, and think they are 32, or they are 28, or whatever chronological age they might be - the attitude patterns they have might include ones that have not been adjusted since they were 5 years old (how they related to an incident re: their mother, which was then locked in), or some experience when they were 12, and they were excluded from a group etc etc. - and then this attitude pattern was locked in.

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so definitely being on the receiving end (and also the giving end) of bullying is extremely traumatic to a youngster. And some of the attitudes that were formed can get locked in for life. It's definitely worth revisiting, and seeing if some of those patterns are distorting one's current flow of experience.

[Phoenix]

That lack of self acceptance I think can come from more than just bullying. I have a kind of ongoing self destructiveness that confuses the heck out of me. When some feeling comes up that I have at some point condemned, and I have to fit it into the real world.

It's also exhausting. Dealing with real emotional work is just exhausting.

[Matt1]

I think most bullies experience some form of suffering/abuse else where, probably at home with a destructive family. Unable to accept the emotional pain they decide to attack others to deal with it and develop a sense of pleasure by becoming like there own abusers.

In terms of Energy Centers i like to sum it up as this.

The Green Ray which i believe its normally quite active and naturally open as a young child comes into catalyst that causes the energy to drop to Yellow Ray. Normally the earliest experience of this nature will be through Parents. From there the energy drops to orange ray victimization and reaches it all time low at red ray fear of survival in extreme cases.

The entity now overcomes and suppresses the fear through repeated catalyst, this channels into orange ray emotional anger and in turns becomes the same Yellow Ray control of overs as which was originally experience by them.

Hate breeds hate.