Billions of Years of Evolution

[AnthroHeart]

I honestly have a deep welling sadness. Though I try to do good.
I am almost constantly berated for who I am.
I am called incompetent and useless. Though I try hard.

As much as possible, try to turn all those feelings into love. Love for yourself, and love for others. Do this until it is no longer sadness. Until it is pure love.

I love you. Thanks.

You have no idea what I really wanted to say.

[Lighthead]

I honestly have a deep welling sadness. Though I try to do good.
I am almost constantly berated for who I am.
I am called incompetent and useless. Though I try hard.

As much as possible, try to turn all those feelings into love. Love for yourself, and love for others. Do this until it is no longer sadness. Until it is pure love.

I love you. Thanks.

You have no idea what I really wanted to say.

Back to you. I really am talking out of my ass since I find it hard to express love in real life (as mentioned). But I felt like you, if anyone, could not only use the encouragement, but also properly utilize the information to the fullest degree possible. Let's just say that it was from the Creator. As you are the Creator.

[AnthroHeart]

As do I, have trouble expressing love in real life.
Those around me do not show love.
Only on this forum.

And from my social memory complex, whom I have to guess loves me. I have no real proof.

[Shemaya]

I honestly have a deep welling sadness. Though I try to do good.
I am almost constantly berated for who I am.
I am called incompetent and useless. Though I try hard.

The person who says that to you is abusive GW.  Love yourself enough to say, 
"Stop hurting me ". 

I think if you could create stronger boundaries and not receive the abuse you just described, you would be able to heal the sadness.  But if the situation remains as it is, it perpetuates the sadness.

[AnthroHeart]

I think I work on that by refusing to do anything else for her but take her to appointments.
She called me useless 3 times. Even though I'm her only ride to the appointments.

I think I should stop doing what she commands of me.

I can't exactly kick her out of my home.

[AnthroHeart]

I love you all.
I don't care if it takes billions of years to prove it.

[Lighthead]

As do I, have trouble expressing love in real life.
Those around me do not show love.
Only on this forum.

And from my social memory complex, whom I have to guess loves me. I have no real proof.

I only have the ability to show love to those really close to me. But even they probably have misinterpreted it, as is prone to people in general.

I also find it easier to connect with those on this forum. I feel like I have the most in common with people on this forum. I have a sincere love of the Law of One material, and I can say that without flinching. It is the most accurate spiritual source I've been able to find. I also appreciate the Seth material, but I tend to get confused by the differences with TLOO material. At this moment in time, I feel most consonant with TLOO material.

If you are a Wanderer, there is no doubt that your social memory complex loves you. You have to realize that you programmed your life to have the difficulties it has. This 3rd density planet is a school. We are being instructed in the art of sharing of love with others (with the illusion that they are separate from other self) whether we feel that they deserve it or not. It has to be remembered that love isn't only expressed in obvious ways ( like sharing a hug). It's also expressed in subtle ways, like demanding in a gentle way that that other person have respect for you as a human being. I've expressed this to my mom plenty of times when I feel she gets out of hand. That is how you teach that person to love others and, in turn, help them grow spiritually. That is the ultimate act of love. To express love to someone who may not appear to deserve it.

[AnthroHeart]

Or just get drunk and forget our troubles.

[Lighthead]

I think I work on that by refusing to do anything else for her but take her to appointments.
She called me useless 3 times. Even though I'm her only ride to the appointments.

I think I should stop doing what she commands of me.

I can't exactly kick her out of my home.

I was not aware of your full situation. That's a tough one. I'm sure that on the one hand you respect her for giving life to you and for taking the time to raise you, but at the same time you feel that she's not respecting you for what you do for her in the most basic way.

Of course, you don't have to help her, but at the same time she seems to really need your help.

That's really tough. I don't know if I can give advice on that one.

Maybe you should emphasize to her that you aren't really obligated to help her. Maybe that will help her realize that you are helping her. Sometimes people don't realize that they are being given help. They just see all the things that the other person supposedly does not do.

[AnthroHeart]

I still love her.

I try to love everyone.

[Lighthead]

Or just get drunk and forget our troubles.

That's just an escape mechanism. That doesn't help you confront your problems.

If anything that would give her more cause (in her mind) to call you useless. You wouldn't want to add fuel to the fire. I would say that you need to in a sober way deal with the problem. Trust me, at the end of the day, you'll get a spiritual medal for all of this.

[AnthroHeart]

That's just an escape mechanism. That doesn't help you confront your problems.

If anything that would give her more cause (in her mind) to call you useless. You wouldn't want to add fuel to the fire. I would say that you need to in a sober way deal with the problem. Trust me, at the end of the day, you'll get a spiritual medal for all of this.

I cannot comment now lucidly, but LOL. Spiritual medal.

I do try to put up with a lot.

[Lighthead]

I still love her.

I try to love everyone.

Try to ask the Creator for more light so that you can transmute the bulk of that love into more awareness of the issue. Or simply ask the Creator to directly turn the bulk of that love into light. I think that you need more courage to face the issue head on. Try to have the courage to be fully in the present moment when you are dealing with the full onslaught of the issue. I'm going to PM you pretty soon about how you can more effectively do this (this is going to be tailored to YOU). Sit tight.

[AnthroHeart]

It's hard because my mom sent me to jail, and neutered my dog without my permission.
And spent $10k of the silver I had saved.

[Raz]

Drop your limiting assumptions about what love is; you will find it everywhere <3
Even the most harsh catalyst is of love...

[tamaryn]

Billions of years of evolution in a second ; simultaneous lives in third density; does this mean we harvest into 4th once we die? And all the lifetimes we evolve from in another second. And we really have only one lifetime of linear time. All other lifetimes exist simultaneously and we experience the lessons parallel to the lessons we accept in linear time.

I think this is the 4th density perspective. A billion years in 3d, no problem

[Lighthead]

Billions of years of evolution in a second ; simultaneous lives in third density; does this mean we harvest  into 4th once we die? And all the lifetimes we evolve from in another second. And we really have only one lifetime of linear time. All other lifetimes exist simultaneously and we experience the lessons parallel to the lessons we accept in linear time.

I think this is the 4th density perspective. A billion years in 3d, no problem

That's why I don't see any point in worrying about what happens here. We are all destined to go way far beyond, no matter what. We have the chance to be at one with the Creator, and past that, many more things than we can even fathom. We'll be tickled pink at how stressed out we were here. On the one hand it's meaningless, and on the other we shouldn't care if we live an infinite amount of cycles here in 3D. I would love to live an infinite amount of cycles of 3D! That would make me a 3D expert.

[AnthroHeart]

I would love to live an infinite amount of cycles of 3D! That would make me a 3D expert.

Be careful what you wish for.

[Lighthead]

I would love to live an infinite amount of cycles of 3D! That would make me a 3D expert.

Be careful what you wish for.

The more 3D lives you live, the easier it gets. Trust me. It's actually impossible to spend an infinite amount of lives in 3D because you eventually evolve yourself out of 3rd density. If it were possible to evolve yourself out of 3D, do you really think that it would be hard to live in 3D after that many lives? Huhhhh...?

Here's proof from Q'uo:

Actually, I couldn't find it (it's really hard to search for; I forgot the keywords). But trust me, I saw it with my own eyes. Nevertheless, like I said, it's impossible to live infinitely in 3rd density. You progress out of it, eventually. By inference, if you spent forever here, there's no way it could be difficult after that long. You would have mastered the 3D experience. Besides, nothing is imposed upon you. If I wanted to pull out at any time from 3D for whatever reason, I would be able to make that choice.

Edit: You'd just be working on light catalyst towards the end. Bring it on!

[anagogy]

Does billions of years of potential evolution daunt you?

What if you were 3D native, and realized you had billions of years of evolution ahead, were you 4D harvestable?

I probably would just accept it.

Though it would be nicer if my home density were 6D, when I could await 7D in a few million years.

No, I don't find it daunting because the amount of time it takes you is not fixed.

"The original desire is that entities seek and become one. If entities can do this in a moment, they may go forward in a moment"

But it is like eating a good meal.  Do you want to just eat the meal without tasting it?  And immediately move on to the next?  Why not savor it?  

The world of manyness is an experience buffet.  Trying to bypass it misses the point of sampling the buffet.

Dessert tastes better when you have to wait for it for a little while...  

[Lighthead]

Does billions of years of potential evolution daunt you?

What if you were 3D native, and realized you had billions of years of evolution ahead, were you 4D harvestable?

I probably would just accept it.

Though it would be nicer if my home density were 6D, when I could await 7D in a few million years.

No, I don't find it daunting because the amount of time it takes you is not fixed.

"The original desire is that entities seek and become one. If entities can do this in a moment, they may go forward in a moment"

But it is like eating a good meal.  Do you want to just eat the meal without tasting it?  And immediately move on to the next?  Why not savor it?  

The world of manyness is an experience buffet.  Trying to bypass it misses the point of sampling the buffet.

Dessert tastes better when you have to wait for it for a little while...  

Wow, you said it way better than I could ever have said it. I was just repeating myself. Good point about savoring each density.

At least in 1st and 2nd density we don't seem to have a choice about savoring those experiences. The same thing can't be said about 3rd density. This density is all about choice.