Selective empathy

[Ankh]

A child is a bit different because they haven't had time to process or develop their own sense of mortality. They aren't afraid of dying per se,  only of being in a place that they truly don't understand. They simply lack the awareness of their own existence and experience of life itself.

One could then liken an adult who is unaware of the greater picture as a child I guess. Lacking the wherewithal to realize that all will be well regardless of the outcome. I guess part of the issues is my lack of connection with my mother.

When my daughter had to have 9 of her teeth extracted in the operating room of a hospital,  I don't remember being very nervous or afraid. This was prior to awakening though. I just kinda knew she would be ok.

Going back to my mother,  maybe it's because the reason for her surgery is self inflicted due to smoking,  verry poor diet,  and inactivity. Part of it is the lack of connection. Sometimes it makes me feel ungrateful because I know all she's done has been out of love though what I would consider misguided. I've always realized she's tried her best and always loved me the most out of my siblings and she's told me that. Yet I never could reciprocate. I often wondered why as a child and adult yet never found a reason. I just didn't love my mother like she did me.

Which has always lead me to wonder if I ever truly knew what love is. But then I look back at how I loved my ex and how I love my girlfriend and my daughter. It's just always been a constant love and connection that I have never felt for my mom. My grandparents and I had that connection. My psychologist always felt that since they kinda raised me while my mom worked after leaving my biological father,  I could have potentially formed the maternal and paternal bond with them instead.

That doesn't necessarily make me feel better given the amount of love my mother has shown me but it explains it quite well.  

So going back to my daughter,  I can see the reason to be there mainly because if something happened to her,  it would be something that was out of her control. Something that which was created for some sort of lesson to her and or I. Something that which would be frightening to her only because it wasn't her fault. I would be there for her because I wouldn't want her to be alone given her immature mind,  body,  and soul. I am there to be the one to comfort her because she doesn't know any better. By contrast,  an adult should have learned that there are consequences to ones actions. To continue to act irresponsibly,  invites consequences. Thus to find empathy for ones implicit irresponsibility is difficult to me

Alright. What if your daughter was now adult and asked you to be with her before going into surgery, would your emotional response to that be the same or different?

[Night Owl]

How do you think your family would feel like if you were about to die and you would have told them not to come because you don't need emotional support?

[Jeremy]

Most definitely. Had she acted so irresponsibly with total disregard to what she was doing to her body then yes I'd have the same apprehension. Why should I concern myself with an other selfs problems because they lacked the wherewithal to take control of their life decisions?

[Jeremy]

How do you think your family would feel like if you were about to die and you would have told them not to come because you don't need emotional support?

Why is that any of my concern? 

Ya see,  family doesn't mean the same to me as it does most. This famialial bond based upon genetic similarities matters not to me. I don't see a differentiation between this perceived family bond and a bond betwixt an other self.  These bonds are simply a deluded illusions of unity that simply transcends all regardless of blood

[Minyatur]

Most definitely. Had she acted so irresponsibly with total disregard to what she was doing to her body then yes I'd have the same apprehension. Why should I concern myself with an other selfs problems because they lacked the wherewithal to take control of their life decisions?

Do you not believe that in fuller understanding of the cause and effect behind what the other-self is incarnating, you'd naturally feel greater love for this facet of yourself?

[Night Owl]

How do you think your family would feel like if you were about to die and you would have told them not to come because you don't need emotional support?

Why is that any of my concern? 

Ya see,  family doesn't mean the same to me as it does most. This famialial bond based upon genetic similarities matters not to me. I don't see a differentiation between this perceived family bond and a bond betwixt an other self.  These bonds are simply a deluded illusions of unity that simply transcends all regardless of blood

It matters not because they are familly. It matters because they love you.

[Jeremy]

How do you think your family would feel like if you were about to die and you would have told them not to come because you don't need emotional support?

Why is that any of my concern? 

Ya see,  family doesn't mean the same to me as it does most. This famialial bond based upon genetic similarities matters not to me. I don't see a differentiation between this perceived family bond and a bond betwixt an other self.  These bonds are simply a deluded illusions of unity that simply transcends all regardless of blood

It matters not because they are familly. It matters because they love you.

Again,  why is that any of my concern? Why does their perceived bond that they inconceivably have have any impact upon me? 

[Night Owl]

Most definitely. Had she acted so irresponsibly with total disregard to what she was doing to her body then yes I'd have the same apprehension. Why should I concern myself with an other selfs problems because they lacked the wherewithal to take control of their life decisions?

I don't think one does that out of disregard or irresponsibility. Their behaviors are the manifestation on the outside of something going on in the inside. They make decisions emotionally but those decisions still are the result of a chosen path in this incarnation. In this situation both your higher selves have planned this catalyst to happen for what will come out of it. Why does your mother smoke? smoking closes the heart. Why do you find yourself in this situation where rationality overcomes empathy? Because your heart is closing. You are both selves. Your catalyst is the same on both ends.

[Night Owl]

How do you think your family would feel like if you were about to die and you would have told them not to come because you don't need emotional support?

Why is that any of my concern? 

Ya see,  family doesn't mean the same to me as it does most. This famialial bond based upon genetic similarities matters not to me. I don't see a differentiation between this perceived family bond and a bond betwixt an other self.  These bonds are simply a deluded illusions of unity that simply transcends all regardless of blood

It matters not because they are familly. It matters because they love you.

Again,  why is that any of my concern? Why does their perceived bond that they inconceivably have have any impact upon me? 

It is of your girlfriend's concern to react to how you love her?

[Jeremy]

How do you think your family would feel like if you were about to die and you would have told them not to come because you don't need emotional support?

Why is that any of my concern? 

Ya see,  family doesn't mean the same to me as it does most. This famialial bond based upon genetic similarities matters not to me. I don't see a differentiation between this perceived family bond and a bond betwixt an other self.  These bonds are simply a deluded illusions of unity that simply transcends all regardless of blood

It matters not because they are familly. It matters because they love you.

Again,  why is that any of my concern? Why does their perceived bond that they inconceivably have have any impact upon me? 

It is of your girlfriend's concern to react to how you love her?

Again,  what concern is that of mine? You dumbass humans and your illogical and empathic responses to external stimuli is laughable. You're so attached to family,  to you body,  to your children,  that you've disregarded your purpose. Its all diversion. Its all illusion. Its all unnecessary. Such triviality that you all possess is simply laughable and pathetic to be honest. 

You all can sit in your chairs,  contemplate upon the ALL IS ONE. Bullshit because you seem to think that this is all there is yet you've failed to realize the help this race needs. The helps crying out. Yet you all sit in your chairs,  balance your fucking chakras,  and think all is well. So you all continue to sit on your parents basement all by your lonesome selves thinking all is one while I actually perform True services to others and act. 

So I hope you all are happy with your armchair spiritualism. 

[Ankh]

Jeremy, you lost me now as to what exactly you were asking about in this thread? What did you want to know really? Lol!

I think that we, as readers, see your situation a bit more clear now after all the questions and answers. Let me sum it up:

Your mom has had irresponsible life-style, i.e. eating poorly, smoking and drinking among other things. Because of that, she is now going to go through some sort of surgery. She wants you (and others) to come there and be with her before the surgery. You don't understand that asking, but do it anyway out of obligation. Am I correct?

So, what are you wondering about in this thread? LOL!

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

I think the boggling is a good thing.

Now that you see this self perceived issue, could you tell yourself why this issue arises at all enough so to bring it here for input?  Is there a root to these feelings?  How and what did it feel like when you realized you didn't really want to be there because its not something you'd want?   You call it Forced Acceptance so I hope my last sentence doesn't sound presumptuous.

In...100% honesty, if you want to understand why she is asking such and is as she is.

You should ask her

Oh and 110% honesty, I'd be scared to go into a room, lay down, be put unconscious, sliced open, by strangers, fiddled with, bits of me removed or new stuff added, sewn shut, then wake up all alone sore and pained with nurses who (least the hospitals I've been to) can barely share a shred of a real eye wrinkling smile.
...Naw, I'd be horrified...  How would you not be??  Its absolutely logical.  Emotions aren't illogical, they incite illogical thinking, they're very, very logical, I'd argue Superational Logical.

Are you sure yer not just a bamf who doesn't afraid o' anything??

I look at life in terms of productivity. I'm here to teach and learn. So asking here is to possibly learn the spiritual implications or reasons for what I consider counterproductive thinking 

I'd agree that emotions themselves aren't illogical  and the reaction to those emotions are the more illogical part of it so maybe I worded it incorrectly.

If you're horrified,  you're still holding on to this illusion a little to much. Like I said earlier in the thread,  the thought of dying matters not to me. Only that those here that hold an emotional attachment to their perceived loss of me would be the only unfortunate aspect of death. 

Otherwise, it's not that big of a deal. 

Emotion can be primary if one is balanced enough to consciously process it and allow love to come through.

 Other than love coming through,   being able to have that ah ha moment where one can sense the truth and the lesson involved in a particular interaction or situation,  one can then learn from it. In this instance, love may not be warranted as ones lesson wouldn't have been presented had some emotion not been illicited. So yes,  emotionally speaking,  it's not all useless as I wasnt trying to imply that all emotions are counterproductive. That would just make someone callous and indifferent to the world which I am definitely not. 

Well personally I agree, death is scary only on the pain part to me.  Otherwise, gassing myself would be the preferred way to go cause pain suuuucks!  For me the fear is all in being alone with that pain and being unable to handle it.  I remember being in the Maternal Ward when my ex was in labor, and hearing another woman crying in pain begging it to stop and it sort of stuck with me when she started screaming.

That's what my fear is of awakening alone in a hospital.

I'm also on my 9th day in a row of work so I could be just babbling nonsense at this point lol

I know that feel No worries o:

How do you think your family would feel like if you were about to die and you would have told them not to come because you don't need emotional support?

Why is that any of my concern? 

Ya see,  family doesn't mean the same to me as it does most. This famialial bond based upon genetic similarities matters not to me. I don't see a differentiation between this perceived family bond and a bond betwixt an other self.  These bonds are simply a deluded illusions of unity that simply transcends all regardless of blood

It matters not because they are familly. It matters because they love you.

Again,  why is that any of my concern? Why does their perceived bond that they inconceivably have have any impact upon me? 

Inconceivable to you, probably inconceivable to them that it's such to you.  It could be of your concern because you could care about such things enough to let them push or pull things in your life.

Or perhaps you could ask yourself why you think its inconceivable, its not to me, why is it to you?

[Night Owl]

I told you I am like you, not really attached to familly. I do not have attachment to my body either. You see too much personal or emotional investment in my responses while there is none. My responses are meant to take your thought to the paths they do not take. I have yet to take a second of my life to balance chakras because I don't really see the point. Don't you think helping your mother face her fears is a good start to be of service to others?

[Ankh]

[quote pid='200520' dateline='1452047737']
You dumbass humans and your illogical and empathic responses to external stimuli is laughable. You're so attached to family,  to you body,  to your children,  that you've disregarded your purpose. Its all diversion. Its all illusion. Its all unnecessary. Such triviality that you all possess is simply laughable and pathetic to be honest. 

You all can sit in your chairs,  contemplate upon the ALL IS ONE. Bullshit because you seem to think that this is all there is yet you've failed to realize the help this race needs. The helps crying out. Yet you all sit in your chairs,  balance your fucking chakras,  and think all is well. So you all continue to sit on your parents basement all by your lonesome selves thinking all is one while I actually perform True services to others and act. 

So I hope you all are happy with your armchair spiritualism. 

[/quote]

I don't see it this way. It's different for me than for you. I find enormous value in family, especially my daughter, because it gives me a foundation upon which I can learn lessons of love. It is a small one at first, starting with her. Then it gets bigger, proceeding to the rest of my family (and friends), and then hopefully gets as big as infinity where I can open up my heart to the rest of the creation. But I'm not there. I still learn unconditional love towards my daughter, firstly. That is why I find the design of family almost invaluable and very, very intelligent in this way. But I do understand now that you see this design differently.

You said that you actually perform true services to others and act. Would you like to share exactly what you are doing and how and so on? I'm really curious.

[Night Owl]

In fact all I'm saying is if you are trying to be STO, which I guess you imply, why would you see a problem in giving comfort to your mom? I would have had the same thoughts as you did that needing some sort comforting words is useless but I would also recognize that not doing so would hurt her feelings. That it is of concerns to me is just a matter of choosing if I want to open my heart or not. And now that she did ask you I guess you cannot deny it will hurt her feelings if you do not attend. The choice is still yours to make. I'm not attacking you or anything just giving you some different perspectives.

[Night Owl]

Also, I think you misunderstood or misinterpreted the reasons for my answer about your girlfriend. I'm saying that because you ask why is it of concerns to you. To understand why it is of concerns to you you must understand why it is happening. It was about what it would feel like if someone that you loved would react like you do with the love you give them. It could be anybody else that you love. Showing you the opposite mirror for the sake of understanding what it feels like when the roles are exchanged. If you do not like how it feels, why would you decide to make someone else feel like that? Sure you can not care as you certainly have 0% responsability of how people interpret your words and actions but you have 100% responsability for what those actions are and how you feel about them and how you feel about yourself.


In fact seeing how we are similar on this perspective I see this as an opportunity to process that catalyst for myself as I tend to close my heart too often. But your relation with your mother seems complicated. The difference between our two situations is that I would simply have no resistance to attend because I would like her to feel loved. Not because she is my mother but because anybody deserves love and this situation is a given opportunity so I'll just take it.


With an open heart, one could ask then why wouldn't it be of his concerns? Familly is a good way of dealing with self problems . It's like practise before real work. The relation one has with his familly members is a reflection of how one reacts towards himself in different situations. I'm not saying you are a close hearted person. I'm saying some situations will make you close your heart and your mother is a catalyst for finding out what it is. You liked my previous answer about finding a reason to be there. That would be a good reason for me to go. To find out why I could have also closed my heart to this catalyst.


You said I fail to see all the help this race needs and the help crying out. Actually I think I am responding to it right now while it is asked in front of me. I could also tell you, why is it of any concerns to me that you can't deal with this situation. Why is it of any concerns to me? Because I can relate to your feelings. Because not being in your situation makes it easier for me to find different perspectives. Problems and help just doesn't always come in the forms that one expect. Problems cannot be solved by the same paths they are created. I can tell you everything that you want to hear and everything that you don't if it can widen your perspective but in the end you are the only one who gets to choose what to do.

I wish you peace brother! May you find the necessary strenght within yourself to do what you and only you think is right for yourself and those you care about whoever they are.

[Minyatur]

Balancing chakras is to explore and focus on your distortions to balance your being and open your seats of awareness.

Seeing the distortions of others is easy because they feel unlike your own energy field and as such are more apparent to self, but not desiring to explore your own chakras is simply resisting awareness of your own distortions.

In the chakras lie the roots of everything that you are. You'll constantly feel the surface unless your chakras are heavily closed, but the roots require seeking.

[Spaced]

lol you're so cool Jeremy.

Why not just be there for her? Are you afraid of something?

[Jade]

This is obviously a problem with "selective empathy", as you call it, Jeremy. Your mother is scared, and you agree that something could go wrong, but that she shouldn't fear for her life. These are contradictions that are very difficult for the average monkey brain to understand. I mean, I consciously and fully accept as much as anyone that death is a gateway out of this hell of a planet but that doesn't mean that I want my incarnation to end in any way. I love this me, this life, this experience, and I want to live it out. If I had a red-ray blockage (fear of death) it would bother me, too, and I would hope that someone who claims to be performing "true services to others" would recognize that an otherself is asking them for minimal comfort, which shouldn't be so impossible to give. But like you said, it is a problem with selective empathy, which would point to a heart chakra blockage. But I won't go into that because you seem to reject what goes into balancing the chakras and the symbolism attached.

Practicing love without practicing wisdom is something which has escaped me. In this case how does one practice love by being comforting yet not being honest? Coming from my healthcare point of view,  I know all that could go wrong. So I can't in good conscious say that everything is going be ok in her terms of what she deems as ok. Sure I can say that all will be well from our point of view because we aren't as attached to the illusion. But to someone who's truly afraid of dying,  all will be well doesn't necessarily cut it ya know lol.

Practicing love without wisdom will have more of a positive effect on another than practicing wisdom without love. Are you really lying when you say "All will be well"? Because even if she dies, everything is still well from your point of view, right? Your mother wants someone who's experienced in this scary environment (hospital) to offer her comfort. Her thoughts will, in the end, create her reality. Which is better - her refraining in her head, "something might go wrong!" or her hearing your soothing and experienced voice/words telling her "Things will be okay no matter what, I'm here for you".