I am in hell

[Aion]

We should do a Bring4th music collab.

[Aion]

Anything is possible if you put your mind to it, eh?

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

Its the distant weird ones (like myself) who are the most beautiful in their integrity in these kinds of places.

I'm glad to be of service

[Night Owl]

I totally got surprised by the end haha. Isn't this song in the movie the fifth element?

[Aion]

I totally got surprised by the end haha. Isn't this song in the movie the fifth element?

Yeah, it was written specifically with the intention that a human shouldn't be able to sing it, but lo and behold.

[Night Owl]

She sure delivers

[Aion]

Yeah, wicked heart energy pumping out there, you can tell she wants to move a lot more than she is. I guess she is at a more formal event but she's normally does a lot of pop I believe.

[smc]

one of my favourite films.... I've learnt arias and this is a challenge to sing for sure... but if I warm up enough it's do-able (using a microphone would help)

sjel --- who is is the background saying "let it all out"? is that your mother?

[Night Owl]

one of my favourite films.... I've learnt arias and this is a challenge to sing for sure... but if I warm up enough it's do-able (using a microphone would help)

We want audio file !!!

[smc]

all my recording equipment (and recordings) are in storage .... will be sorting through it soon-ish and post something...

back to sjel... how's it going?

[Coordinate_Apotheosis]

back to sjel... how's it going?

Ditto~

Are you doing a little better Sjel?

[sjel]

sjel --- who is is the background saying "let it all out"? is that your mother?

Yes that's my mother, I barely realized she was there though.

Right now I'm pretty nervous and restless, I didn't exercise at all the last two days and ate little


Also am extremely confused and feel helpless, and some significant anger at the extent of my confusion. How are other people just walking around doing things? How are they not also extremely confused?

It is very windy today, the Earth feels restless, but how much am I projecting my own restlessness onto it?

I haven't sat and meditated in two weeks, I haven't been able to sit still at ALL, which is unusual, I had never missed a single day of meditation for two years straight until two weeks ago. Now I can't sit for three minutes without jumping up and nervously pacing.

[Jeremy]

You ever go camping? Do you have the ability to by chance? I'm not sue how old you are but if you have the ability, go out and disconnect for a while. We have found that about ever 3 months, we need to reconnect with nature due to all the negative emotions we absorb working in hospitals. This reconnection was something unexpected and once back, took a bit of adjustment but the rewards far outweigh the adjustment back into the illusion.

Hiking and camping has brought such a sense of calm and appreciation for life, we can't imagine not doing it on a consistent basis

[sjel]

I also have been hunched over all the way, like a fetal posture in my back for two days, which generates anxiety because I had been working quite hard on maintaining a straight back and doing back stretching exercises for three months, I feel like I just shot it all down the drain. Can't be true though it's just two days.

GAAHH that's just agonizing, I have been working so hard, so hard on exercising, yoga, meditation, positive thinking, piano, everything, and now I'm just the worst off I've ever been.

I have especially been working hard on yellow ray, talking to people, getting to know people, conquering fear in public, doing mildly embarrassing things in public places so that I could get used to exposing my inner self. Now I'm unbalanced again!! What the eff


That's good Jeremy, yes I might do that this weekend. Hiking seems perfect.

[Minyatur]

Also am extremely confused and feel helpless, and some significant anger at the extent of my confusion. How are other people just walking around doing things? How are they not also extremely confused?

I think in its fundamental essence beingness simply is, so there's a natural aspect to just experience which is what allows us to be here and now, or rather have gotten here and now as both us and others and what's both.

You and others are one so it's really always about the configuration you are within. Through x,y,z experiences you become this way and confused and through a,b,c experiences you're just as clueless but not worrying about it much.

To me existence is somewhat like a dream, so everyone is much like in their own dream buddle with their own perception of what life is. Just like you can be in a dream and it just feels real and that's your reality and your inter-personal problems are actual problems and definitive truth and then somehow you wake up to be here in another reality and just feel like what you feel here is the truth and the other thing wasn't and you switch to the conditions of being here and the truth of it.

[Night Owl]

Forgive yourself sjel. Let yourself be. There's nothing wrong about what you experience. Give yourself time. Let yourself do what you need to no matter what it is. Go out in nature and breathe. It really help calm down to meditate.

[Agua del Cielo]

I am very glad you're still alive, sjel!

[sjel]

Thanks guys, here is audio recording of my current state of mind. 1:13

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Nujxxm5yLB

also hopefully no one feels obligated to keep checking up here, i think the worst is over and now im just super anxious and seeking clarification. i think ill keep posting little snippets of piano for a more sensory interpretation of 'sjel' rather than just words

[sjel]

You and others are one so it's really always about the configuration you are within. Through x,y,z experiences you become this way and confused and through a,b,c experiences you're just as clueless but not worrying about it much.

To me existence is somewhat like a dream, so everyone is much like in their own dream buddle with their own perception of what life is. Just like you can be in a dream and it just feels real and that's your reality and your inter-personal problems are actual problems and definitive truth and then somehow you wake up to be here in another reality and just feel like what you feel here is the truth and the other thing wasn't and you switch to the conditions of being here and the truth of it.

so essentially, for me to experience confusion, it is necessary for me to perceive others as not confused?

here's how that makes me feel: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0JwSN0ip9mc

[Night Owl]

Damn dude thats really good. I like your contemporary style. It's very fresh and expressive. Who are your influences?

[sjel]

Damn dude thats really good. I like your contemporary style. It's very fresh and expressive. Who are your influences?

aphex twin primarily. but this recent development in ease of expression arose from victor wooten's advice in "the music lesson" (recommended to me by aion): he said (paraphrased), find the 'groove' BEFORE you start playing. feel what you're feeling FIRST, and THEN start playing. Listen MORE than speak when improvising. Don't think much at all, once you start thinking about what you're playing, completely change directions.

It's a pretty new concept for me, I've temporarily abandoned all of my aphex twin computer-precision efforts in favor of free expression. But I think that the two styles will come together eventually to form something closer to my true self.

Another inspiration is this specific Keith Jarett concert, I pretty much don't like anything else by Keith Jarett, but this concert, starting at like 55:30 he goes into some strange atonal stuff for a while, and it absolutely stuck in my mind as genius. If in his entire life he only ever recorded that atonal portion of the concert I would consider him a genius. There's other good stuff throughout the concert but really this section 55:30 to maybe 1:03:00 or past that) is the best in my opinion. He's basically having sex with the atonal goddess of Music

Here it is:

[Night Owl]

I really loved those ''AH'' around 59:40 ahaha, he seems like he's indeed having sex with the music. It seems to me your recent catalyst is a mean for muscial inspiration. Please don't hesitate, use it, use this energy to move you anywhere, be free with it. Rules are meant to be broken, especially in music, learn them, but break them all.

[Aion]

Man, 'The Music Lesson' is a great book, eh? It seems so fundamental after reading it. I'll have to give your feelings here a listen, will try to maybe give some of my own.

[kevn]

"Zoom your sense of 'I' outwards until you reach the One."

You're gonna need a very high-tech zoom that goes faster than the Universe expands to do that

Try the opposite: Remove your sense of 'I'. Much easier to remove the 'I' to find the whole than to try and cover the whole whole with the 'I'... Talking about the psychological ego here, of course. Stay alive Also, remove the bodily ego, too (much easier): anything having to do with emotions/posture. It might take a while, but you seem dedicated. Try the Ra exercises of balancing: find patience where there is impatience, etc. At some point, you will realize you contain everything, so therefore are everything, so therefore are nothing in particular. That's when the 'I' should start losing its grip by losing its content/identity.

"God, whose love and joy are present everywhere, can't come to visit you unless you aren't there"
- Angelus Silesius

"If you want to become full, let yourself be empty. If you want to be reborn, let yourself die."
- Lao Tzu

"Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." [...] "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven"
- Jesus

See the pattern? No 'I', no 'I', no 'I'...

Again, I stress: we're talking about the psychological ego, here. Stay alive!

My 2 cents...

[Billy]

I would mention on top of this that there is a special, relatively unknown class of entities who make it their work to scour these 'hellish' regions and offer aid to those who have trapped themselves there. Often their assistance is not recognized, but even in the deepest places of pain there are those who go to aid others, even at the cost of their own light if need be.

I hold the beings who do this sort of work in the absolute highest regard.  They cannot be thanked or praised enough in my opinion, bless them.  

[Agua del Cielo]

Man, 'The Music Lesson' is a great book, eh? It seems so fundamental after reading it. I'll have to give your feelings here a listen, will try to maybe give some of my own.

sorry for being off topic!
Do you really recommend the book?
I have it in fact but never read it.

I am being highly put off by his music, if the "archetypical ego" would play music, i imagine sounding it like him.
So, thats why i didnt read it yet.

Do you like his music?

[sjel]

sorry for being off topic!
Do you really recommend the book?
I have it in fact but never read it.

I am being highly put off by his music, if the "archetypical ego" would play music, i imagine sounding it like him.
So, thats why i didnt read it yet.

Do you like his music?

Never really listened to it, I think his music is actually irrelevant to the message presented in the book. In fact I gave his music a listen and didn't much care for it, but that didn't affect my appreciation of the message within the book

[Agua del Cielo]

My opinion on his bass playing is:

"If God would have wanted bass players to play solo, he would have given them a guitar!"


Certainly a biased view, but i think each instrument should be in service of the music instead of itself.
Sto vs Sts musical approach, hehe

[Minyatur]

"If God would have wanted bass players to play solo, he would have given them a guitar!"

Geddy Lee be like :/

I personally prefer music where all instruments get to shine than some having the monopoly of the front line (especially the singer or even the guitar). I mean, sure I can enjoy music that is that way, but it'll never feel as fufilling as a fuller expression of each member.

All instruments got something expression-wise that can pierce the heavens! Btw you can call a bass a bass guitar.

[smc]

'Extinction Level Event' - 3 basses no guitars