11-07-2012, 06:41 PM
I was listening to a Duncan Trussel podcast found here
-> http://duncantrussell.com/emil-amos/#/va...ssion_id=0
Near the end he was talking about Ram Dass. He said we become half enlightened and wake up to the fact that life is more like a video game. He described the negative experience of this. You can no longer enjoy life because you understand the simulation or video game analogy and in essence you are in a state of prolonged death. You are ready to pass into timespace but are still here and now.
Now when I apply my spiritual practice onto this scenario it is not as bad and I have room for optimism. I still perceive purpose behind my suffering within spacetime however It still feels unpleasant.
I wouldn't say I am "half-enlightened". I would say however that I am lightened. I have a light-hearted approach to life because it is a video game but I'm having a difficult time drawing strength from this right now. Duncan pretty much summed up how I feel beautifully. Some days I wake up and feel a crisis where I want this all to cease. This goes beyond the simplicity of mere suicide. I feel I can do nothing. I can only be present. I've made much progress over the past humpteendozen moons, but it sure hurts and sure feels slow.
I feel ill. Sick with too much energy and too little simultaneously. I'm sick of thinking. I'm frustrated and sad. I dislike not being comfortable with myself as a person. I'm even frustrated writing this because I feel I will be misunderstood. I hate yellow ray catalyst. It's been so difficult for me to integrate. Crying is my only form of relief but I need other people to cry nowadays. I need a shoulder to cry on. When I cry I stop beating myself up and feel compassion for myself. I only get this release when talking to my Mom and therapist. I just feel I cannot be completely open with them, like I could you, because they wouldn't understand my view of the world. I'm even tearing up a little typing this because I know that you will read this so in a way I am crying on your shoulder. It seems I have found my purpose for writing this post. Thank you friends.
.:peace and love:.
p.s. I take back what I said about being frustrated about being misunderstood by you and now I see you as gentle and caring. I may have just progressed a little with yellow ray. Crying has a healing effect for me often.
-> http://duncantrussell.com/emil-amos/#/va...ssion_id=0
Near the end he was talking about Ram Dass. He said we become half enlightened and wake up to the fact that life is more like a video game. He described the negative experience of this. You can no longer enjoy life because you understand the simulation or video game analogy and in essence you are in a state of prolonged death. You are ready to pass into timespace but are still here and now.
Now when I apply my spiritual practice onto this scenario it is not as bad and I have room for optimism. I still perceive purpose behind my suffering within spacetime however It still feels unpleasant.
I wouldn't say I am "half-enlightened". I would say however that I am lightened. I have a light-hearted approach to life because it is a video game but I'm having a difficult time drawing strength from this right now. Duncan pretty much summed up how I feel beautifully. Some days I wake up and feel a crisis where I want this all to cease. This goes beyond the simplicity of mere suicide. I feel I can do nothing. I can only be present. I've made much progress over the past humpteendozen moons, but it sure hurts and sure feels slow.
I feel ill. Sick with too much energy and too little simultaneously. I'm sick of thinking. I'm frustrated and sad. I dislike not being comfortable with myself as a person. I'm even frustrated writing this because I feel I will be misunderstood. I hate yellow ray catalyst. It's been so difficult for me to integrate. Crying is my only form of relief but I need other people to cry nowadays. I need a shoulder to cry on. When I cry I stop beating myself up and feel compassion for myself. I only get this release when talking to my Mom and therapist. I just feel I cannot be completely open with them, like I could you, because they wouldn't understand my view of the world. I'm even tearing up a little typing this because I know that you will read this so in a way I am crying on your shoulder. It seems I have found my purpose for writing this post. Thank you friends.
.:peace and love:.
p.s. I take back what I said about being frustrated about being misunderstood by you and now I see you as gentle and caring. I may have just progressed a little with yellow ray. Crying has a healing effect for me often.
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