Seeking help - Negative entity taken residence in my field

[Monica]

I'll tell a crazy story about something like this.

After involvement with some interesting occult temples and people, a big scary demon seemed to be haunting me. It felt like it was outside my body near the mid-section. I looked at the demon and it was scary and it hurt and I wasn't sure what to do. Then all of a sudden I realized that the demon was actually inside of me, it was actually a part of me. The imagery instantly reversed as if a light switch had caused a mirror image to change sides. Now instead of being outside my energy field it was inside me but didn't feel dark and evil anymore but rather was harmless and just another part of me to love. It shot up my spine and never bothered me again.

So here's a theory: I actually invoked the demon and now I am more demonic and evil. Now it is deeply attached to me and I can't escape. So attached that I don't even identify it as "other" and "evil". Perhaps I didn't conquer it at all by trying to see the self in the other, but rather I just allowed it to attach in such a way that I no longer felt it to be distasteful.

Oh wow, now that is a sobering thought! You've brought up a very good point: There is a difference between accepting something as mirroring what is in us, while simultaneously declining its service (since it's negative) vs. accepting its offer of service and integrating it into our being.

There is a subtle but distinct difference here. It sounds like you did the latter. I'm curious, though, why you think you are now more 'demonic and evil'? Because you joined a 'Luciferian' cult? Or are there other reasons? And was joining this cult out of character for you? (Something you wouldn't have done prior to taking in this demonic energy?)

There's a difference between contemplating how some aspect of darkness is part of our being, and seeking to accept and illuminate it, vs. readily taking in an STS entity and offering it a home.

Am I going to hell or what? I guess this explains the lack of ascension.

Well I don't believe in hell so I can't comment on that. Unless you consider 'hell' to repeating 3D...in which case, that's not based on a single choice but overall polarity.