Interesting development (Addictions)

[Monica]

the addict MUST choose this them self. More exactly, they must have both the want and the need. If available, they will steal the energy from one of light, the one offering compassion and love, to allow them to remain in the dark. I've been there; almost had my incarnate life force drained trying to help. By nature, addiction is a deep exploration of the sts side of oneself. It is their choice. Allow them to explore. When/if they decide to choose life, they will do so on their own terms. Until then, all help will be used to further their own agenda.

Peregrinus, I respect your experience, but I'm confused. How can you be sure that this young man hasn't made the choice to choose life? Couldn't the fact that he chose to discuss this, and had an emotional breakthru, possibly be an indication of that first step towards choosing life? How do we decide whether their request for help is sincere or not? Are you saying we should never help addicts, but that they will always heal themselves on their own without any help? Are you saying that helping them is never appropriate?

I agree that there there is truth in what you're saying. I started becoming addicted to snorting speed at age 21...I had a boyfriend who was into it and made all sorts of excuses for his addiction. At first, I used it to be more productive at work...but after almost a year, I realized I was becoming addicted, and I walked away from it, without any help. Later, I walked away from all other drugs as well. So my own experience supports your idea that most addicts who quit do so on their own, when they are ready. However, what about that 1.5% who do get helped via rehab of some sort? And how many others, that are not included in those statistics because they are unknown, who get helped via the support of family and friends? How can we be so sure that this particular person might not actually be ready to receive help?

I agree that if the person is in a downward spiral, to not get sucked into it. Been there done that! But I also don't think we can ever put a 100% absolute on any type of person or situation. Every person is unique and this might just be among that small percentage who do welcome help, or he just might be at the point where a little support might help nudge him in the direction he's already chosen...or even help him make that choice. I disagree that we should automatically assume that ANY addict is beyond our help and that we should just 'run away' from their call for help. I think the real question is not whether we should help them, but what kind of help is appropriate for this particular case. And only our own personal guidance can really give us the answer to that.

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I don't think he'd last long on the streets.

That does seem a bit harsh.

Here is what I imagine would be best.

Get the dogs to a loving home that can take care of them.

Someone who understands pit bulls! That could be a problem in itself.

Get good medical and mental health care so his brain chemistry is stabilized.

If he is open to that and his family can get it done, sure! But I doubt it is that simple. It's not a simple matter of, "OK do this and this and you will be healed."

Get into a sober living household so he can learn to be responsible for himself. His mother has picked up after him most of his life and I think he doesn't know how to cook. I know he doesn't know how to handle money.
Or, have his own studio apartment or motorhome, and someone who randomly checks in a couple of times a week to see how he's doing.

This sounds very nice...but who would do all that?

I agree with Peregrinus that the issue isn't that he doesn't have options...He must choose to be healed, and then he will have options manifest.

Between sober living and something like a couple of 12 step meetings each week, start a journey of sobriety in community.

Ah, the key word being sober living. He could choose sober living at any time. That's not something anyone can do for him. It's not like you can just get him into a 'clean' environment and he will be fine. It's not that simple. If he isn't ready to clean up, he will find a way to get his addiction satisfied. While it's true that being in a negative environment can influence those trying to clean up (ie. their peers pulling them back down), it's also not quite as simple as just getting into a 'clean' household. He's already in a clean household, right?

I'm not sure if the 12-step approach works well with kids. But sure, some sort of support group specifically for teen addicts would be good to suggest.

Here's my suggestion, and it's a simple but very powerful one: Invite him to read this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Wonderland-Avenue-...540&sr=1-1

Don't tell him it has any redeeming value. Just tell him it's full of profanity, drugs, sex, and rock-n-roll. I can't even begin to convey how powerful this book is, because it isn't preachy, but takes the reader on a roller coaster ride of decadence and what appears to be the glamor of drugs, but then, just when the reader has developed a trust in the writer, it takes a turn down into the pit of hell, so to speak, so they see for themselves the stark, gritty reality of lives falling apart and death from addiction. And the message is all the more powerful because it isn't some adult authority, but someone who's actually been there. It's a true story.

He liked that I respected his interpretation of his vision. As I see it, the problem is not the particular drugs he took, but his desperate desire to not have feelings or connection to the reality of his life.

Agreed! Any addiction is just masking deeper issues, so the key is always to address those issues...ie treat the cause, not just the symptom.

I think with the massive drug misuse, he's opened the door to powerful negative spiritual forces who want to make him their next trophy. He also might have projected the brainstem's lizard-like survival fears as outside forces. Who knows? Certainly everything about the "mindset and setting" of his bad trips wouldn't meet Leary's criteria for respectful use of entheogenic.

Maybe you already said, but I missed...what types of drugs is he doing? Besides acid and pot? LSD can certainly mess with his head.

Seriously, if I were in your situation, I would buy him Wonderland Avenue and give it to him as a gift, and tell him to contact me after he's read it.