02-21-2010, 08:17 PM
My father went to his grave drinking. I've seen two friends go to the grave from cocaine, one disappear from his debt, and two who lost their nose to cocaine, only to turn to crack. I understand and accept that I don't know everything, and I am sure there are exceptions to the rule, but there aren't many. I have yet to see an exception, seeing only the rule.
I was told by police, ambulance and many other people to get away from my addict ex-spouse and to stay as far away as I possibly could, because they had never seen good come of it, never seen anyone beat it and stay clean. I stayed and tried, to no avail, and it almost destroyed me. It was, however, the dark I needed to catapult me into the light to be sure, so for me this last relationship was a huge lesson.
Yes there are lessons, but second guessing what each addicts is, and then trying to control the situation to make them better, I would suggest is negatively polarizing to the self, and is not going to help unless the addict has hit their bottom. Ask any recovered addict what changed their life. It was trauma. That, I guarantee, is a rule.
I was told by police, ambulance and many other people to get away from my addict ex-spouse and to stay as far away as I possibly could, because they had never seen good come of it, never seen anyone beat it and stay clean. I stayed and tried, to no avail, and it almost destroyed me. It was, however, the dark I needed to catapult me into the light to be sure, so for me this last relationship was a huge lesson.
Yes there are lessons, but second guessing what each addicts is, and then trying to control the situation to make them better, I would suggest is negatively polarizing to the self, and is not going to help unless the addict has hit their bottom. Ask any recovered addict what changed their life. It was trauma. That, I guarantee, is a rule.