Who can we pray to?

[AnthroHeart]

Turning your will towards the recognition of unity among self, other-self, and Creator is probably the most powerfully effective ways one can deal with catalyst. It's also probably the least distorted action one can take in this density. Living in recognition of this oneness requires a lifetime's work, but the will can be turned towards it at any time.

Do you feel like these "perverted" thoughts come from a place other than self? They may come from negative "outside" influence, but if so, then it might be made possible by your fear and non-acceptance of those possibilities within yourself.

That experience you describe sounds horrible... And nobody deserves that kind of treatment. When I was being manipulated by a negative entity in ways that were energetically uncomfortable (I'm sensitive like you), the big realization that allowed that to stop was that I in no way deserve that treatment. It was an orange ray issue and I was, unbeknownst to my conscious mind, holding the subtle belief that I had done something to deserve that kind of treatment, that the entity causing me the discomfort had the right to do so. That wasn't the case... The entity was simply using its will, and I was not using mine. I realized that I am the Creator and I deserve respect and love. I realized that there is nothing within myself that requires me to be ashamed, no matter how dark or perverted it may seem. All is the Creator and the self is perfect.

I didn't recognize that I didn't deserve that kind of treatment, all the way up till the end when I ended up stabbing my dog thinking I was doing it for God. After that, and when I was on my meds, it slowly started fading. I realize I am worthy, and I don't have to go through torture for the purpose of becoming an anthro. I thought I had to go through these trials in order to become an anthro. I was fooled. But I realize more now to have pride in myself. For me it was discovering (on some level), what was I willing to do to become an anthro? I don't have that desire anymore.