Trapped

[kainous]

Hello everyone, I am new to this board..I found it by googling "wanderers who commit suicide" as I have been having many of those thoughts lately (they have been extremely common in my 26.5 years here and have made several failed attempts at it, including one recently). My family has given up on me, my friends who I had leading up to this point have mostly split paths with me and I am currently living in a hotel room until my savings account is diminished and then I will be homeless (for the first time in my life). The only thing that is keeping me going is the possibility of this new world during this time and my yearning for it...luckily I have wifi access for my laptop here so I can use the internet from my room. I am not sure what to do at this point, I feel like I am waiting for something to happen (in terms of NESARA or some sort of "event" that is most likely not imminent) and the other half of me is wanting to throw the blow dryer in the bathtub with me because I can't escape the pain.

Zimboombah, I can say that I have committed suicide in a previous life, and I have made several attempts in this life. I know that it hurts, and the worst part is that you don't always know what "it" is that is doing the hurting. After 33 years, I've finally started to understand a little. The pain is that of the spirit. Yes there are emotional and physical pains too, but it's the spiritual catalysts that are trying to awaken you (and I) and teach (what I feel is) a 6th to 7th density lesson while you are here in this 3rd density.

It is rough because this place is not for us, and it NEVER was for us. It is meant only for us to teach to those that ask, who don't wish to listen, which is frustrating, especially when all of their pain and suffering becomes our own as well.

So, about OUR lesson. We are hear to feel the sacramental nature of all experiences. That means that we are to learn about how sitting in a chair, talking on the computer is holy. How having ourselves thrown into a trashcan due to bullying is a holy experience. We are to learn this in order to accept this life, and especially to accept the timelessness that comes from the spiritual ennui that we experience.

It takes work to understand each moment, and listen, and accept, and love in each moment. This is not a concept that is easy to convey, nor is it something that words can truly express. It is a lesson of which we sometimes don't learn immediately, but there will be more catalysts to teach us in the future.

I'm not posting this for pity purposes (pity from others does nothing for me) but merely because I feel completely trapped.

Pity is not recognized by positively oriented entities. In fact they are unable to fully process the idea of pitying someone, only loving them. Pity is an emotion that is developed under the negative polarity. You don't have to worry about those on here pitying you. We want to help everyone. For you are a part of our body. "If you will accept this third-density analogy. Would we ignore a pain in the leg? A bruise upon the skin? A cut which is festering? No. There is no ignoring a call"

and unless something magical happens I just don't know what I am going to do. Thanks all!

Yes, we are all excited for the an age closer to that of which we recognize. This is the harshest experience of the densities. In this harshness, the catalysts are more intense and more powerful, and they can feel overwhelming. Many times the catalysts can't even be named here.

The real aspect here is to first accept that love/light is there for you. Without accepting it, love/light will not come, for it is your choice, it is your free-will. Once that has happened, open yourself to the possibility that this catalyst that you feel is temporary. It is likely to return if lessons aren't learned, but you WILL have reprieve, you WILL have time to rest.

Finally, welcome here. We are full of different kinds, those that will shower you with love in a way that may feel as if it's pity, but it's not. There will be those who wish to share wisdom with you in a matter-of-fact unemotional way. There will also be those who wish to share experience with you for which they have experienced the same, including all of the physical/emotional/spiritual pains. Our pains may be from different catalysts, but pains are pains are pains.